❝ chapter four: apologizing?
_______________________________________________________________________________
                                   chapter four of forever mute, a -byungkitty-  storyline

"Amy, try to be careful at school, okay? I don't want you to get hurt."

It was the following morning and Ji Eun was walking with me to the hellhole called school. After coming out of the bathroom, red-faced and eyes swollen, I had gone to sleep without even looking at Ji Eun or Aunt Lin. My cousin looked guilty when she woke me up this morning, probably thinking it was all her fault. I felt horrible for making her worry about me, who was a worthless nobody.

I sped up my walking pace, ignoring what she had just said. It didn't matter to her if I got hurt or not.

"If it gets too dangerous, I can tell the teachers or Auntie about it." Ji Eun pressed again, walking faster to catch up with me.

The idea of bothering more people and bringing them into the situation had me shaking my head violently.

My cousin sighed. "Why not?"

I averted my gaze away from her as the school came into view. The students were grouping and talking, as usual, and I kept my head down, staring at my shoes.

I ignored her question again and headed to my first class, rudely leaving her hanging and not wanting to bump into Myungsoo or any of his friends in the hallway. To my dismay, he was already seated in the back. The moment he saw me, he smirked in my direction.

My legs began to feel like Jell-O under his stare and I rushed over to my desk, trying to make myself smaller and unnoticeable. I hated this feeling of feeling vulnerable and weak when I faced him. It made me want to hide, to not see him ever again.

In fact, it made me not want to do anything with anyone at the school. In each class I interacted with nobody (and it seemed like nobody wanted to interact with me either) and Myungsoo strangely decided to leave me alone today.

At lunch, I didn't bother looking for Ji Eun and headed away from the cafeteria. I didn't want to make the same mistake and step in there again. Should I just go hide in the library? If there even was a library, that is.

Walking down the empty hallways, I thought about the music room from yesterday. Maybe I could be alone there. Turning around and changing routes, I was glad to see I was the only one to occupy the halls.

The music room was down this hall, right? I wondered to myself, running my fingers along the wall of a familiar hallway on my right. I stopped walking and peered inside of the first room to come to view, where the lights were still on and nobody was inside.

It was Ms. Kang's room. Score. Going on my tip-toes to peek inside, the first thing that I saw was a piano, placed against the back wall of the room. Checking the halls to make sure it was empty, I stepped inside, gently closing the door behind me.

My gaze landed on the piano again and I walked over to it. I was pretty sure it wasn't here yesterday. The piano was looked old and a bit creaky, with dust layering its black surface. Pulling back the cover slowly, I pressed one of the keys and the clear sound echoed throughout the room.

Was it okay to play it? I asked myself. Surely it was okay, if only for a couple minutes.

Sitting down on the creaky bench, I tapped my right foot around on the floor, feeling for the pedal and stepping on it when I found it. I positioned my fingers onto the black and white keys and closed my eyes. It felt endearing and comforting just to be able to feel the coldness against my fingertips.

I played a chord, savoring the moment the notes intertwined with each other and produced a familiar melodic sound. I smiled to myself as I began to play. I'm surprised I even remember how to play it, since it was the first song I mesmerized, and that was years ago.

The soft melody drove all of my troublesome thoughts away. The way the keys needed to be pressed soothed me and I lost myself in the moment. I mouthed the lyrics to the song, imagining that I could hear myself.

I nodded my head with the movement of the music and my fingers continued gliding over the keys. This was where I felt at home the most right now. This was where being alone didn't matter. If only I could do this forever...

"Ye Jin."

Upon hearing my name, my fingers slipped off the keys and I turned around. After seeing the face of the person who called my name, I immediately stood up and stumbled away from the piano.

Sunggyu set down the stack of papers he was holding and looked at me with a somewhat amusing look. I didn't hear him open the door and come in at all. "What are you doing here? Class doesn't start until ten minutes after."

I didn't answer- I couldn't answer- but I didn't need to because he continued talking. "Oh, and if you're wondering, I'm Ms. Kang's assistant. That's why I'm always in and out of the music room."

I just nodded, wondering why a former gang leader would busy himself with being a teacher's assistant.

"Sorry if i interrupted your... playing. You can continue if you want." Sunggyu said again and pointed at the desk. "I'm just going to correct some theory papers over there until class starts."

I shook my head, embarassed, and went over to my seat from yesterday. Was he making fun of me? Was he laughing at how pathetic I was?

Soon, the room was filled with silence and the only sound heard was the scratching of Sunggyu's pencil on paper.

Curious, I peeked a look at the older boy. His caramel brown hair was pasted to his forehead as his small eyes were focused on the paper in front of him. He didn't look like the type to be a gang leader, not one bit. What made him change his mind to stop his gang leader ways?

Suddenly another thought came to mind. Why did he try to stop Myungsoo yesterday? Why did he try to help me? Was he starting to feel pity for me? I scowled at him. I didn't need his pity.

"Oh, and one more thing." My scowl disappeared from my face as I looked up at Sunggyu, who had a knowing expression in his small eyes. "Don't take whatever Myungsoo says to heart. He doesn't know what he's saying. He doesn't mean any of it."

He smiled warmly and I looked away, confused. Did I hear him correctly?

"Myungsoo isn't as bad and cruel as you think he is." He said softly this time, eyes still on me.

Why was he telling me this? What does he mean by that? I only blinked back at him, not knowing how to react. Was Sunggyu apologizing for what Myungsoo did to me? Was I supposed to accept this... this form of apology?

The door opened again and a few students came walking in. "Hey, Sunggyu-"

Sungyeol froze the moment he saw me, causing Woohyun to crash into him from behind. Myungsoo came filing in afterwards and headed to his seat without casting a sigle glance at who was in the room.

"What is it, Sungyeol?" Sunggyu said from the desk, letting the paper he was currently holding go limp.

The tall boy's eyes darted back and forth between his hyung and me before answering. "Oh, Sungjong just wanted to know if you were free tonight. He wants all of us to go to a movie or something."

"Tell him I can't." His hyung responded. "I have work tonight, remember? Maybe next time."

"Arasseo." Sungyeol whipped out his phone, undeniably texting Sungjong, and stalked off to his seat. I watched him as he sat down next to Myungsoo, who was acting as though yesterday didn't happen.

The rest of the music class began to come in and Sunggyu stood up from the desk, walking towards my seat. I expected him to pass and go to the back, but he paused right in front of me and I looked away. Silence lingered in between us before he spoke.

"He won't hurt you, don't worry."

The moment I looked up, he had seated himself right next to Woohyun and I saw someone plop them-self down onto the seat right next to me.

"Ye Jin, where were you at lunch?" Ji Eun asked. "I was looking for you all over the campus."

Giving her a reassuring nod that nothing happened to me, I pointed a finger at the seat I was sitting in.

"You were in here the whole time?" She decoded my finger-pointing and smiled. "That's good..."

This time, when Ms. Kang came in to begin class, I didn't feel as lost as before. Sure, I still felt out of place and left out, but the things that Sunggyu said to me were swimming around in my mind so I couldn't focus on the tasks at hand. The things about Myungsoo were distracting me, and I didn't like it.

Why him? Why me? Why must life be so unfair? Why must God do this to me? Why?

The sound of a piano chord broke me away from my thoughts; Ms. Kang was playing the key for vocal warm-ups. This time, I didn't mind not being able to join with the others.

I closed my eyes and listened, losing myself in the moment and losing all the questions in the melody of the piano.

"Clear your mind. Whenever you're feeling stressed or angry or upset or sad, just clear your mind first. Sit down and breath and relax. Everything will work itself out somehow."

Deciding to listen to my mother's words, I reached into my pocket and held onto my hourglass keychain, hoping that it would calm me down.

Clear your mind, Amy. Clear it.

-- ♥ --

This could not be happening.

Clearing my stupid mind and then facing another big problem right after. What was life doing to me?

My math teacher had stopped me once school let out and told me that I was going to be tutored, everyday after school. Apparently, I needed to catch up on the curriculum and the only way to do so was have one of the students tutor me, after school everyday.

"I've already received approval from their parents so you'll have our tutoring session at their house for about an hour or so, depending on what they're teaching you that day." Mr. Choi told me.

I nodded, having a really bad feeling about this, and the nearest classroom door flung open. Several students filed out and headed towards our way.

Mr. Choi turned to the students. "Oh, look! Your tutor is coming right now."

Myungsoo stopped in front of us and bowed his head slightly. Sungjong and Dongwoo stood behind him, curious of what was going on.

Myungsoo smirked as the words I dreaded to hear left Mr. Choi's mouth. "Ye Jin, here is your tutor, Kim Myungsoo."

No ing way.

_______________________________________________________________________________

✉(A/N);

A really really really really short chapter in celebration of Sunggyu's birthday (and yes, he has a significant role in this story too). You guys know how much I love him ^^ What do you think he's trying to do? Set them up of cos no Please excuse the rushed chapter and typos, lemme go sleep.