It's 6:05 AM, and as usual, you're awake. Thinking the same thought you've been thinking for weeks. If you knew then what you know now, you would have never gotten involved with him. That's what you tell yourself daily....though the thought of him not being in your life is almost too much to fathom. Just thinking of not knowing, seeing, hearing and touching him, gives you a sick feeling. 

You hate it. You hate how this guy that you've met only 5 months before means so much to you. Even more so because you let yourself fall for him, fully knowing that you can't be with him. You've grown bitter of the situation and how certain things seem unfair, yet despite knowing and honestly understanding that it's best to end contact, you just can't bring yourself to cut the rope. His number is still in your phone, you send e-mails to him on occasion and vice versa, you meet up sometimes when he doesn't have a schedule, you check EXO-K websites to see the latest news, and possibly the most tormenting thing is that you still have the photo taken during your first date hung up on the wall. The picture is important to you because it symbolizes what was. What could have been. It symbolizes a time in your life when you were happy over something simple. Then, he was an ordinary boy and you an ordinary girl — smiling from ear to ear, leaning in close to take a picture at the ice rink one crisp winter night. There were no complications then. In fact, there was nothing. Nothing but you and him. 

You look at the clock and realize it's now 6:30 AM. You've officially been in bed, sleepless, for six hours. You sigh, and suddenly feel your eyes are starting to get heavy. "Finally"  you think, as the feeling of tranquil calm slowly overcomes you. You pull the covers up and turn over to get in a comfortable position, and as your pulse slows down to a weak patter and the room around you becomes more and more faint, you think "I wonder if  Kyungsoo is thinking about me now."

And with that, you sleep.