“Cockroach!”

 

“Sneaky little rat!”

 

“You’re just jealous!”

 

These were all in her head. She had no idea of her surroundings. Her surroundings were dark; that’s all she knew and could guess. However those words pierced her mind like a needle. She had been called so many things and not once she said anything back. Now it was enough. She loved Jessica but she hurt her and left her with one word ‘sorry’. Was sorry enough for all she had done to her?

 

If yes, why was she so angry?

If not then why she cant she still hate her even after her death?

 

Her mother, whom she had never seen until her 20s. She hated her daughter because she reminded her of the man. Was she the cause? No, she was merely the consequences. Cause and consequences made the perfect crime though.

 

Lastly…the blood family of the boy she loved dearly. She had nothing more to think about him. She didn’t even feel sorry for him. she only felt contempt for him.

 

Despite so many haters, she had so many loved ones. Ga-in, Granny, Jihoon, Narsha, Hyuna, Taeyeon, Kevin, Alexander, Jangwoo, Nayobi and Junsu.

 

Junsu?

Yes she loved Junsu but she loves him as much as she loves her friends.

She was more grateful to him.

 

Why wasn’t she waking up?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“You…you got a court order and a lawyer’s letter for consent?”     Jaejoong was bewildered however wasn’t answered. Taeyeon felt the awkwardness between them and shoved herself from there.

The elders were having their own conversation; soon joined by Brooke and Nayobi who were proud of her.

Nayobi’s embrace almost made Naomi fall.

 

Ga-in and Joongki were quiet on the bench.

Hyuna and Jiyoung were still talking.

 

Yoochun was at a corner still going over his previous actions.

He had no idea why he felt this way…Ga-in spared a glance at him without his notice.

 

“How could this bastard fall in love with her?”

She whispered to Joongki.

 

“Happens…and it happened. Nothing you can do.”

 

“Yes I can…I can stop him from seeing her further. You think Norma would forgive him after what he did?”

That was not a question from her.

 

“No, she certainly would not. She would turn him down for sure but I think a valuable friendship would be born.”

 

“I don’t even think that would happen.”

 

“You’re so pessimistic. This happens when you’re a business person. You’re similar to that Kim in a way.”

Joongki smiled.

 

“Not funny. We’re nothing alike. I don’t spend my parents’ money. I spend my earnings on good deeds. He doesn’t.”

 

“That’s why I love you.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Hours went by and the doctor came out; pulling his mask off. Norma;s family rushed to the doctor to hear the news and it turned out to be good.

 

“Out of danger. Good thing we didn’t wait, or else we would have required a donor. It might take her few days to wake up and few weeks for discharge. Only one can stay tonight.”

 

“I will. I’m free anyway.”

Nayobi volunteered.

 

“No dear. It’s my turn. You need rest anyway.”

Naomi spoke surprising few but soon they agreed and were ready to leave.

 

Jaejoong was about to take his mother when his uncle rested his hand on his shoulder.

 

“Jaejoong…let Junsu take her home. We need to talk.”

Hearing that, Jaejoong didn’t know whether to be happy or surprised. He really hasn’t spoken to him since the outburst. He briefly nodded and Junsu approached them; taking his aunt.

Hyuna was offered by Jiyoung to drop her home which she agreed much to Ga-in’s dismay but Ga-in offered Taeyeon a ride which was refused too.

 

“I have some errands to run. You go ahead. I’ll meet you all at Granny’s.”

 

Nayobi and Brooke left her hugs and kisses; finally making things at peace.

Yoochun on the other hand moved away from the loving scene.

He had no one there to share his heart or love.

They were all away.

 

He decided to take the stairs and was climbing down when he heard his name called. He knew that tone as the caller didn’t call him by his name or with any formalities.

 

“Park!”

Son Ga-in…

 

“Yes Miss Son.”

He smiled lightly yet teasingly.

 

“Wipe that smile of your face. I’m here to talk about something serious.”

 

“What could that be?”

 

“Your intentions…on Norma. Are they genuine?”

He didn’t know what she meant.

 

“Pardon me.”

 

“Pardon your Park! You know what I mean.”

Did she notice?

 

“I…am here for forgiveness…what more ulterior intent do you see in it?”

 

“I’m not talking about that you idiotic-disgusting-wormie creature! I’m talking about your…”      she had no idea what to call it.       “Feelings…for her.”

 

“Feelings?”

His eyes widened. How did a cold hearted woman like her notice? And was it even true? He himself did not know.

 

“Whatever, you’re wasting my time . Just stay away from her. She’ll turn you down anyway.”

Turning away, she left him to Joongki. He was just confused.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Jaejoong…”

 

“Yes uncle…”

 

“You still wont give up the company to the directors…”

 

“No, you know I wont.”

 

“Then…what are you sacrificing for this company? You must have had a dream instead of this.”

Thinking few seconds, he answered his uncle.

 

“I wanted to be a…musician.”

 

“Musician? Cant you still pursue that?”

 

“Who has the time?”

 

“Jaejoong?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Would you like me to share something with you?”

 

“Sure…what is it?”

 

“Time…”

 

“What?”

 

“Time my boy. I would like you to share that time with me. Give me that time while you pursue your wishes.”

 

“You…”    he was stunned.    “You are coming back?”

 

“Well not permanently. Momentarily till you finish your music career.”

 

“I guess that suits me.”

Jaejoong finally smiled after a long time. Even if it was temporary, he would take over the company to relieve him of his burdens.

 

“Well let’s show you around the flower club. There are plenty of musicians there. Become a member and I bet you’ll find someone like you.”

 

“Oh come on! Not you too!”

They went ahead; laughing their butts out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Junsu dear, you’re awfully quiet.”

 

“Hmm? Oh, because I’m driving.”

 

“No dear…not that. You have been quiet for far too long.”

 

“It’s nothing aunt. You’re burden yourself too much.”

 

“Tell me…do you hate my son?”

 

“What?”   he stopped his jeep.    “Are you seriously asking that?”

 

“I know he hasn’t been the best brother or man to you or anyone. His cold heart took over him. But he is finally realizing his mistakes and trying to mend them. He wants to help Norma…but he needs help. He needs you the most.”

 

“Aunt, I’m not sure how I am needed.”

 

“You’re the only sibling left after Hyunjoong.”

That actually put a stop to his mouth.

He could see the changes in Jaejoong.

He just doesn’t know how to let go of the things he said about his mother and Norma.

 

Smiling warily at his aunt; he started his jeep and rode off.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jihoon was at school and was soon picked up by an employee of Kim. Although he didn’t like it, this was an emergency. He came home and found his grandmother on the couch and Junsu sipping in his tea.

 

“Uncle Junsu?”

 

“Jihoon.”

 

“Welcome back dear. Come and have some snacks. We have good news for you.”

His grandmother gestured him to sit beside her.

 

“Your mother is well. She was finally operated on although without her consent.”

 

“How did you do that?”

 

“Junsu here brought a court order.”

Jihoon sneaked a peek and Junsu who was still glum.

 

“Uncle…this is good news; why aren’t you smiling?”

 

“Huh? Nothing kid. Just thinking about getting back to work soon.”

Jihoon didn’t buy that.

 

“Well…”    Junsu stood up and bowed to his aunt.    “I should be getting back. Good bye.”

 

“Bye uncle.”

Jihoon mumbled a farewell as he could suspect something was wrong with him.

 

“Grandmother.”

 

“Hmm…”

 

“Could you tell me grandfather’s story and uncle Junsu’s father’s story?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Norma…there is something I would like to tell you.”

Whose voice was it?

 

“When you came to this world, I was overwhelmed by you. The joy you brought me was immense. I had nothing to worry about.”

Who was she talking about?

 

“He was there for me; my parents were there for me. I had the world with me supporting through my tough times.”

Why are you telling me this?

 

“Your cries were soft at first; didn’t hurt my ears at all. However…when I touched you…a certain snake wrapped my body.”

What the hell is she talking about?

 

“I could feel it slithering up my skin; it was same as that night.”

Snakes…I always hated them.

 

“I could only think…that…when you grow up…you’ll know somehow. You’ll feel the guilt of my miseries. You’ll know the dirty blood in you and you’ll hate yourself so much.”

Why would I feel that way?

 

“I decided to give you away…to a good home. You turned out to be a wonderful girl, woman and a mother. You have turned out to be something I could never have made you to be. I just didn’t want your son to pull you down from your life…I’m sorry…and…”

 

“I love you…Norma.”

The voice faded and a bright light pierced her eyes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her eyes slowly opened; adjusting to the lights around her. Taking a deep breath she realized how thirsty she was and how hungry her stomach was. She turned her head aside only to see the woman sleeping on the couch. Her mother looked so tired and yet so peaceful.

 

She tried sitting up and her skin ached. She noticed the IV drop and other equipments attached to her. What the hell happened?

She slightly removed the dress off her chest and saw the sewing marks…they had operated on her.

How dare they?

She couldn’t react at all. What would she do? Scream at the doctors to undo the surgery? That would be stupid.

First this first. She wanted to drink. She was about to take the glass when her hand knocked out the glass startling her mother awake. Norma stiffened as Naomi noticed what she wanted. She rushed and picked the glass up; pouring her the water and handed it to her. Norma didn’t move…

 

“Take it. My hand is aching.”

She grunted.

Norma slowly approached the glass and took it; gulping it all down in an instant.

Slamming it on the table she lied down not speaking a word.

 

“Well aren’t you going to say anything?”

Norma didn’t answer.

 

“Silent treatment eh? Two can play this game.”

Why was she being so playful?

 

“I’ll call the people and let them have their words with you.”

Naomi finally stood up and left the room to call the doctors when Norma said.

 

“I’ll pay you back…all of it. All that you bore for me.”

Naomi merely smiled and left the room.

She knew she would be answered by the doctors.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doctors answered a lot of questions and Taeyeon; Ga-in and Hyuna didn’t even apologize for allowing surgery without her consent. They had only one sentence to her and that was to settle with her mother.

 

“I didn’t expect you to say that. Not you Ga-in.”

 

“Well tough luck this time Norma…I have seen how that woman prayed for you since your surgery three days ago.”

 

“Where is granny?”

 

“Taking care of the kids. We’ll be going now. Many others want to meet you.”

Taeyeon answered.

 

“You wont be staying long now would you?”

Norma softly asked.

 

“No…I’ll be going back soon and I should be able to give you good news soon.”

Taeyeon smiled at her.

 

“What about you Hyuna?”

Norma asked.

 

“Well I have this date very soon with someone.”

 

“And who might that be young lady?”

Ga-in asked in a matter o fact way.

 

“A blond guy.”

They all knew who it was.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nayobi and Brooke visited her and decided it was naomi’s turn to rest. She had been there for three consecutive days; she needed rest. However Norma still hasn’t spoken a single word to her and she hasn’t seen Jihoon yet.

She hasn’t seen many…Jaejoong, Yoochun and…Junsu.

 

Where was he?

 

Her luck wasn’t favouring her as Jaejoong soon visited her with Jihoon along and Yoochun. However she decided to speak to them alone.

 

“Ma…how are you feeling?”

 

“Good…you know it was kind of a crime operating on me.”

 

“I know ma…but they got court orders.”

She chuckled a bit somehow not angry at Jihoon at all.

 

“So how is all?”

 

“Good…I go to school, I still visit the orphanage and I have introduced Jumi with Mimi. They get along well.”

 

“Jihoon…after I get better there is something I want you to do.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Your mother never wanted you to go to the Kims afraid of the fact that they might never bring you up well. But I suppose that’s for you to choose as you are old enough. I want you to stay with them as long as you see fit. You have the right to know your paternal side of the family and Jessica didn’t know you have a wonderful grandmother and Kim Jaejoong maybe a coldhearted jerk…he still loves you more than anything.”

 

“So…you’re giving me up.”

 

“You can say that but you’re still my legal son. I get to make decisions for you till you’re 18. But I would let you choose before I make any decisions for you. Maybe you may like the luxurious life…who knows?”

 

“Yeah…who knows?”

Somehow he was sort of disappointed but it was all for the better.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Heard what you did…are you absolute about this?”

 

“That’s none of your concern Mr. Kim.”

Norma flat out answered.

 

“I think I still have to maintain my cold nature…but I would genuinely like to apologize to you.”

 

“I don’t need it. I still haven’t forgiven you if you like to know. We still are enemies. Just because I have given Jihoon the choice to stay with you; to know you better doesn’t mean we’ll be friends.”

 

“I’m a bloody businessman. We don’t have friends.”

Jaejoong smirked.

 

“If you do anything against his wishes I swear I’ll set Junsu’s dogs on you.”

 

“Oh my…first time cursing. Somehow I like you, when you don’t speak at all.”

 

“I’m not here to your liking.”

 

“I don’t like you.”

Jaejoong remarked.

 

“Likewise.”

A mutter escaped her lips.

Jihoon outside; overhearing all; smiled. Because this was the way these two could only settle things.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day Norma was peacefully watching Tv and she wasn’t allowed to have any more visitors until the next hour but a sudden intrusion ruined it all. She hoped it was Junsu…

 

“What do you want Park?”

 

“You know why I’m here.”

 

“You’re not getting any forgiveness from me. I hate you the most.”

 

“I…I know.”

 

“Then get out.”

 

“Not before you hear me out.”

 

“I don’t want to hear you.”

 

“Norma I want to pay for everything that I did to you. I can make you an offer.”

 

“Oh…an offer…no thank you I’d be better if you…”

However her sentenced want finished.

 

“Marry me.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Marry me Norma.”

 

“You hit your head hard. Why would I marry someone like you?”

 

“I’m only telling you to marry me…not love me. I wont expect that.”

 

“Why even ask such a ridiculous thing?”

 

“Because…I never really realized this before and you might think this is a joke but I…love you.”

Her eyes could pop out any minute now.

 

“This is a sick joke Park.”

 

“No it’s not…I can only think of this to pay you back. With my mansion and money and all the luxuries you deserve…you can even make my life miserable…I want you…to be my…”

 

“Enough! Money, money, money, money that’s all you can think I want! I don’t want any because I can earn! I was earning heavily! Until you two came along. Your intention for marrying me is worse that ion! No matter how you change genuinely, I can never even think to be with someone even not out of love! You sicken me! You are worse than Kim Jaejoong and you’re certainly nothing like Junsu! If there is anyone I’d be with its Jun…”

 

She stopped there…she said too much. Yoochun was stunned with her outburst but later on a smile escaped his lips as he realized whom her heart belonged to.

 

“You…love him.”

 

“I…I’m only grateful to him.”

She denied.

 

“Are you now? You miss him…he didn’t visit you yet.”    His hand ran through his hair as he chuckled with frustration.

 

“My god Norma, your heart belongs to Junsu! Have you told him yet?”

 

“Shut up Park!”

 

“You have to let him know!”

 

“I said shut your mouth!”

Not wasting time; Yoochun rushed out leaving Norma in a daze.

His heart was crushed…more than just crushed. It was not in existence anymore. The first woman he loved turned out to love someone else and she openly hated him.

 

“Junsu…gotta find Junsu.”   He jumped in his car dialing Junsu as Seunghyun sped off.

It ringed so many times but he wasn’t receiving.

 

“ Junsu pick up! Take me to the station! Hurry!”

 

“Yes boss.”

Seunghyun obeyed and increased his speed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The officer Jihoon was working on his desk as Aey brought more files slamming them onto his table.

 

“What the Aey? You ruined my stacks!”

 

“Sorry, I have none to help me. Junsu is slacking off and brother Xiah is working so hard.”

 

“Junsu! Get your here! Why am I and Xiah working only you maggot?!”

 

“Coming…”

Junsu lazily put his legs down off the table and approached Jihoon’s.

 

“Yes sir…”

He stated and yawned in the process.

 

“Why are you working?”

 

“How can I when Xiah did all my paperwork? He’s doing all as if he’s trying to keep himself busy to avoid something or someone.”

 

“Hmm…well call him in. And you Aey take a break. It’s Junsu’s turn to work his off.”

 

“What?!”

Junsu exclaimed and Aey called Xiah in. He looked so tired.

 

“Xiah what’s the matter bro?”

 

“Nothing Jihoon. Don’t you have your marriage to settle? Who’s looking after the preparations?”

 

“Yunho is…Xiah you can tell me.”

 

“It’s nothing. I’m sure Narsha is busy right?”

 

“Yeah…how do you know her?”

 

“Her orphan mate is my friend. Small world…”

Xiah smiled after a long time.

 

“Take a break man. You look beat.”

Aey soon interrupted their conversation ticking Jihoon off.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Uh…Park Yoochun is here…to meet brother Xiah.”

 

“What? What the hell?”

Xiah muttered and rushed out to see him standing.

 

“What are you doing here? I’m busy.”

The others gaped. Jihoon soon realized the awkwardness and ordered all to get back to their works leaving them alone.

 

“Why haven’t you met her yet?”

 

“Why do you care?”

 

“Because…”    no…he shouldn’t tell him about his feelings.     “Because she wants to meet you.”

That got his tongue. Did she really? Of course she did! They were friends!

 

“I was busy…”

 

“Meaning keeping yourself busy. What are you afraid of? She’s fine and healthy! Meet her!”

 

“What do you mean I’m afraid? I’m not afraid of anything. You simply have no one to bother so you’re here mocking me.”

Xiah went to the other table and was writing things down when Yoochun slammed the table unable to tolerate anymore.

 

“You ing moron she misses you!”

Others peeked in curious to see the commotion.

Xiah stood there motionless unable to say anything further. However Yoochun didn’t stop his mouth.

 

“She wants to see you…why aren’t you going to her? What is stopping you?”

Junsu didn’t know…she was his friend. What was stopping him from meeting her? Confusion was?

 

What was he confused about?

 

“Don’t you love her too Su?”

 

Love?

Did he love her?

Slamming his hand on the table Junsu barked at Yoochun.

 

“Get out damn it! You’re wasting my time!”

Yoochun didn’t expect that. Hanging his head low Yoochun muttered.

 

“I bet if she was well; she would have run to you telling you how she felt. But you, being the man, are a coward.”

Yoochun left the building ordering his bodyguard to take him home. He missed his family.

 

Xiah didn’t move at all until Jihoon poked him.

 

“You’k? Why don’t you take a break?”

 

“A break… right. Jihoon please take care of things for me. I have some errands to run.”

He dashed out leaving Jihoon to say one thing.

 

“There is nothing to take care of.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He hopped on his jeep and rode off to the hospital. He had no idea what made him go in such a rush.

He had few thoughts in his mind.

 

The first time he saw her…she reminded him of his mother.

Then he felt the attraction which he thought was quite normal because her face was similar to her.

Then she disappeared which crushed him for good.

 

Why?

Just because of the face?

 

Then…why does he feel so…uncomfortable now?

It was a fact that her face was something that got him at first but isn’t it a reality that face makes an impression?

Personality makes you certain later and hers did. She was a wonderful woman.

She was nothing like her mother except that she loved Jihoon terribly.

She was cold, blunt, unaware and headstrong unlike his soft mother.

 

Still it made him certain that he was in love with her.

Entering the hospital; he reached the floor and near her room where he saw that she was watching tv. She looked so much better and he wont loose this chance again.

 

He knocked catching her attention.

 

“Junsu…”

 

“How are you?”

 

“I’m fine…sit down.”

Taking a seat he looked at her eyes confusing Norma.

 

“You okay Junsu?”

 

“Norma…what do you feel when I do something?”

She didn’t know why he was asking that.

 

“Uh…I feel grateful when you do something for  me. Why you ask?”

 

“Just grateful?”

What else was she supposed to say?

 

“What else could there be?”    she chuckled trying to get the awkwardness off.    “Besides gratefulness there could be increasing love…”

That was it.

She knew it.

The answer they both had been looking for.

 

“Junsu its okay if you don’t feel the same…”

She tried to excuse herself when Junsu left his seat; taking her face and pressing his lips on her lower ones fully.

 

She could feel her heart beating so fast that it could burst out any seconds. Unable to resist the feeling and the strange touch on her lips; she held his hand tightly to calm her heart.

Knowing she wont be able to hold her breath so long; he pulled away by an inch; resting his forehead on her hair. He could see her red cheeks even when her head was lowered.

 

“You look peachy and your skin is warmer than before.”

Somehow he sounded no longer squeaky…making her quite shy.

She wanted to waive her embarrassment. She wanted to look confident.

 

“My mouth is quite dry so I’m kind of worried your lips might be scratched and…”

He shut her up with another kiss; pulling away he whispered.

 

“You talk too much…”

She sure did.