Part 1

Myungsoo/L p.o.v

I was stuck in here; this place made of 4 walls and a roof. It imprisoned me; not permitting any contact from the outside world. This 4 walled home seemed simple and normal but it wasn’t anything like that. It was dark, sorrowful, torture. There were endless hallways leading to nothing, numerous rooms; some containing nothing but a single desk or chair, stairwells which were rare but when found they would lead to more dead ends. This house was nothing but dead.

Amongst all the inanimate objects were seven animate objects. Seven young men including I and we referred to ourselves as infinite. So do our fans. That is if we still have fans. We were tricked into coming here by an unknown man. Everything was beginning to become unknown. The memories of that place I once called home were evaporating like water; blending in with air. The faces of the people I called family were fading away like smoke off a mirror. Those songs I had memorized no longer had a tune. Those dance steps I had studied for hours no longer made sense as did nothing else. My mind had become foggy preventing my eyes from seeing clearly.

I turned around and walked away from the window which showed nothing but a hallway and towards my bedroom door. As I put my hand on the handle I turned around and look blankly at my bedroom. The walls were grey and it consisted of a bed with a side table for a lamp. There was a mirror hung up in front of the bed and a closet to the side. It was nothing but tedious.

I walked outside and towards the stairwell in the middle of the seven bedrooms. Each bedroom was used by one member and the stairwell led us straight to the living room.

I walked into the study room and saw Sungyeol reading a book. He looked up and saw me but we didn’t talk. I took my fingers and lightly grazed the books on the shelf debating whether to read one myself or not. After standing for a bit, I decided to abandon the books and proceed to another room. I left the room without speaking a word to Sungyeol and walked through the grey hallways. There were occasional picture frames hung up but nothing eye catching or interesting; nothing that brought life into this house.

I walked and walked until the hallway came to an end. There was a door which led to a room at the end of the hallway and my curiosity led me to opening it to find out what was inside. I hesitated at first, but then gripped the handle firmly and opened the door with my eyes closed. When I opened the door I opened my eyes but immediately wished I never opened them in the first place. There was nothing in there but two couches and a coffee table in between. I chuckled at myself. I was pathetic for expecting something interesting to be in there. I turned around and began walking back.

 I didn’t bother going to eat and just went straight to take a shower. I stepped into the shower and let the hot water cover my body while I rested my head on the wall.

Why us? Why are we here? Why must we face this? We didn’t harm anyone. We’re completely innocent. We didn’t ask for this.

I could feel the anger increasing as each drop of water touched my body.

We worked so hard. Is this a game? Who’s trying to play with us? We’re not ones to be messed with. We didn’t do anything. We’re not meant to be here.

My breathing had become heavy due to anger so I decided to finish my shower quickly. After I dried my hair I walked towards my room in grey sweat pants and a black t-shirt. I lay down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling blankly. This was a daily routine; I would wake up late and spend the day walking around exploring the torturous home then sleep.

Sleep would be the best part of my day. Sleep was where I was no longer in this home but in another world. When I slept, my dreams were the only form of joy I felt. Though they were not always good dreams, just being able to see emotion, movement and colours all around me made me feel better.

I continued staring at the ceiling until my eyelids began to become heavy and my body could no longer control them. They closed and that initiated my joy.

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I woke up at 1:00 p.m the next day. I ate breakfast and then began my daily routine of walking around again. Of course, I walked alone, ate alone because I was alone. We were all alone now. The once loved woogyu couple had now become like two strangers from different countries. They didn’t speak the same language nor were they accustomed to the same things. They were strangers; complete strangers.

The day passed by as always and soon it was dinner time. Our food was always prepared and put in the dining room. We did not know how it got there but none the less, we ate it.

I began walking downstairs but I heard my name being called. I turned around and came face to face with Hoya. I was shocked as to why he decided to speak to me so randomly.

“Are you going downstairs to eat now?” he asked.

“Yes, are you going to eat too?” I asked as I fiddled with my infinity ring.

“Yea, let’s go together,” he said as he began walking down leading the way.

There were about 4 flights of stairs we had to walk down. The walk was filled with silence but it wasn’t awkward nor was the silence out of hate. The silence was out of desire and fear. Fear that if we say something wrong, we will be physically hurt or even worse; be held captive forever.

When we reached the final step, we walked towards the dining room to begin eating. The dining room was dark brown and the table stretched from one side of the lengthy room to the other. There were enough seats for 30 people but they would be put to waste as there were only seven of us who ate there. I sat down in a random seat and Hoy sat across from me. We did not exchange any words but began eating right away. As I ate my food I scrunched up my face due to the saltiness of the food.

Hoya chuckled and switched his plate with mine. I looked up at him and saw that he was eating my salty food.

“Give it, I’ll eat it.” I said as I reached over to grab my plate

“Nah, I don’t mind it,” he said and blocked my hand from touching the plate.

I then remembered the time where we were on a reality show and I tried to trick everyone by drinking coffee with salt in it. I chuckled and looked up at Hoya to tell him too. We both laughed as we thought about the bananas with vinegar in them and the times where we ran away from our manager. We looked up at each other and for the first time in who knows how long, we smiled genuinely. Our smiles were natural and not bitter. They were not to mock us, but to make us feel happy.

“Why are you laughing?”

I turned around and saw the rest of infinite standing in the entrance to the dining room. I told them of why Hoya and I were laughing and almost immediately they began laughing too. We sat at the table not spaced out, but right next to each other, reminiscing over our joyful past. We talked about all the funny incidents that led to our stomachs aching due to the pain. I looked around and felt like all the lost memories had returned to me. Everything that I had forgotten had come back. We were the happy infinite again.

After everyone was done eating, we proceeded to the living room and lay down as we wished. We were all in our own world until Sunggyu spoke up.

“Remember our first win?” he said with a small smile. I looked up and met eyes with him. We stared at each other as if our eyes were speaking. We acknowledged each other’s feelings and understood exactly what we wanted; to get out of here. We wanted to return back to the stage that had become our second home. We wanted to wake up early to go get our makeup done for our beautiful fans.

“Yea! Everyone cried so much! It was so amazing. That feeling was great!” said Dongwoo with a big smile painted onto his face as we all smiled with him.

We spent the rest of the night laughing and playing with each other. Soon we all became tired and went to our own rooms; each with a smile across on our face.

I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling once again but this time, I was thinking of all the fun I had just experience. It was as if nothing gruesome had even occurred. It was as if the wall that separated us from happiness and been broken. After being here for so long, we became distant and couldn’t find happiness. Turns out our true happiness was within one another. When we come together, we are at peace. We are happy. We are infinite. 

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First Chapter's up!