It’s the middle of the night yet Yunho is awake.

The scripts for the next day lie untouched in his lap. He’s supposed to be reviewing the interview questions but in the silence of the night, the constant voices of the lawyers and entertainment officials rattle around in his head. Through all the buzz, a snake has coiled itself into his stomach.

Pulling his knees to his chest, he sighs a long slow breath and pinches the bridge of his nose, willing the pain to leave. It’s always been there, lingering on most days but tonight it’s flat out debilitating. You’ll be the death of me, he’s always joked with s but maybe it’s true.

Before he can slap himself mentally for thinking such things, there is a knock on the door. Checking the clock to make sure it really is three in the morning he wonders who else in the dorm is still awake at this time. There’s a second knock and he forces himself to get up but by the time he reaches the door it’s already been opened.

JaeJoong says nothing, but takes the papers from his hands and pushes a cup of warm tea into them instead. He can smell ginger wafting from the liquid and he takes a deep breath of the vapor appreciatively. He gives his friend a curious look.

“I saw your light on my way to the bathroom,” JaeJoong says.  It’s an obvious lie and Yunho’s heard the familiar shuffle of younger man walk by several times already. He knows the singer was waiting to see the light go out like he does every night.

Walking straight in, Jaejoong busies himself putting the papers neatly on the desk and then taking him by the shoulders to steer him towards the bed. “Now sit,” he orders.

He obeys as the other male joins him, looking at him carefully. “Drink,” he is encouraged.

Yunho takes small sips, feeling the warmth spread through his angry stomach. The tension persists, but the tea helps a bit and the company is even better.

Jae nods approvingly, crawling behind him and putting his hands on his shoulders in a gentle massage. “You need to stop stressing so much, it’s no good for your stomach,” he says matter of factly. “And I know you skipped lunch to practice today. There’s a reason Changmin and Junsu are always putting those notes in your pockets you know.”

The leader can’t help but to lean into the touch, a slight smile dancing on his lips. If there’s one thing he’s jealous of, it’s the other man’s ability to mother someone. He considers himself to be a good leader but when it comes to the little, comforting touches, Hero has always been the best. He’s been awake feeling nauseous countless times before but  Jaejoong has always been able to make it better.

When he finishes his tea, the cup is taken from him. “Lie down,” is the next order.

He could protest, but there’s only one person he’d let boss him around like this and he’s already pulling him down and turning out the light. Yunho settles down beside him with an arm curved against his still aching belly, head still full of what-ifs.

“What am I going to do with you?” Jaejoong teases lightly, turning out the light and bringing his fingers to trail through the leader’s hair.

Yunho doesn’t reply, his insides hurt too much to be comfortable and he bites his lip, frustration taking over. He’s the leader. He’s not supposed to be like this but he’s tired.

“Hey,” Jae whispers softly, sitting up. “Are you crying?”

“No,” he lies, wiping his face quickly. He can’t help but wonder if moments like this will be able to happen anymore. The mere notion of life without the man beside him makes everything seem pointless.

 “It’s okay,” Jaejoong whispers using his sleeve to soak up the remaining damp spots that he’s missed. “Even leaders aren’t invincible,” he assures, snuggling up closer.

 “Jae…” he practically whimpers because it’s just the two of them and he’s allowed to be vulnerable in his friend’s arms.

“Mmm?”

“What if I can’t protect everyone.”

There’s a split second pause before the reply comes back, strong and confident even though they both know full well there’s no good answer to that. “Nothing’s going to happen.”

It sounds so nice being whispered in his ear that it’s easy to believe.

 “Jae I…” he whispers again, trying to tell the other everything that he means using one single word but he’s shushed with a hug from behind and a kiss pressed to his back through the fabric of his t-shirt.

“I already know Yun, now be quiet and sleep.”

And Yunho feels safe.

***

Morning comes and the sun is barely showing its face when the leader shudders awake, his stomach clenched uncomfortably. “Jae,” he whispers, the name stuck on his lips, his hands reaching behind him for the familiar warm body.

But he sheets are cold, the right side of the bed untouched and no one has slept on that side in a long time.

And Yunho feels like throwing up.

***

Hey guys, this is a short one-shot that I found in my folders and finished.
Sorry it's sad Yunjae ;u;