How many months had passed? He is not counting anymore. Being a leader of a rookie group is really not an easy task. He know he is not as talent as other members hence this why he is trying so hard to be a good leader. But god seems to have planned another route for him, a route which seems to be tougher than anything else. Falling in love, isn’t every teenager will be going through? He considers himself still young; 23years old is not that old right? But why must he be the one going through the hard way? Having him falling in love with a guy is a really bad idea but worse still falling in love with his group youngest one. He had been in love with him for months, he is sure that it is definitely not the first sight but it is throughout the year, he accidentally fell into the love lake. Don’t ever said he didn’t try harder to forget him, you will never know how much he struggle in the lake however the water wouldn’t stop coming. You will never know how much he had cried in the bathroom and lied about his puffy eyes. He did almost everything just to maintain a distance with the youngest. You don’t know how much have hurts him to see that the youngest seems to be fine with having distance with the leader and continued playing with other members. He thought he had pretend well enough to cover up everything but he guessed he is wrong when he is getting skinnier and skinnier each day.

“Hyung, are you okay?”

He doesn’t want to lie anymore but he doesn’t bear to drag any member into his own miserable world. Giving troubles to members, that not what leader suppose to do.

“I am okay, Jeongmin.” He pasted his forever sunny smile on his skinny face.

“Hyung! You are getting more and more skinner…you should eat more!” he scolded.

Somehow this manage to capture everyone attentions.

“Hyung! He is right, you should stop pushing yourself so much!” the older of the twin voiced out his thinking.

Seeing the worried look on the youngest face somehow did comfort Donghyun a bit. He is happy that youngest actually did care for him. He quickly waved his hand in front of his face, telling them he is really okay and used his contagious laughter to cover up the awkwardness. Continuous days, the members wouldn’t stop pestering him about resting hence he decided to rest for one day and only one day just to stop listening to their nagging.

To be able to lie on the bed more than 5 hours is really a most enjoyable thing to do for the past few weeks. He does not want to get up yet and to be honest he did feel lonely even though it is really peaceful for not hearing any screaming. Lying on the bed, he accidentally allowed his mind drift back to the past few months. He just found out he had been a very lousy leader for focusing on his group instead he had been caring too much on his one sided love. Maintaining a distance with the youngest became a daily task which had used up half of his energy. As recalling, tears slowly creeping up to the corner of his eyes. He did promised not to cry during his rest day but somehow he broke it as the tears start running down his slightly red cheek. With no one in the dorm, he was able to cry out freely and loudly in his bedroom, wetting his bed and holding on to the blanket so tightly that his knuckles went white. It hurts so much that he found out he had some difficulties with breathing. This terrified him a lot. He trying his best to calm himself down but the more he try the more he panicked.

“Hyung?”

He immediately hides under the blanket.

“Hyung, are you crying?” he stiffed when he realised another side of his bed sank. He holds his breath when someone pulled him into a hug. A hug which he thought he would never be able to experience, warmth he thought he would never be able to feel.

“Hyung, do you know something?”

He remained silent, continuing to hold on the blanket, fearing that it may be pulled down within a second.

“Hyung, I love you…not in a brotherly way but man to woman way…do you understand?”

He couldn’t believe his ears; those three words he had wanted to avoid just came out from his mouth so easily. This time round, he choose not to fake but sobbed out loudly. He doesn’t care if the youngest would think his hyung is a cry baby. He just feels that he had been betrayed by his heart at that moment. He thought the young one would give up and leave but he is wrong again. Instead, Minwoo hug him tighter.

“Hyung, tell me…tell me…what had happen? Do you know how much it hurts me when I know the fact you are in pain yet I can’t do anything about it.”

“Hyung…just tell me….let me help…” he continuing smoothing his back, hoping his hyung will just feel better.

“Minwoo…I love you….” his voice is weak yet so sweet. Minwoo definitely catch it but he wanted to hear them again.

“Hyung, what did you just say?” Minwoo trying to tease his hyung by lighting up the depress atmosphere.

“Minwoo...I love you…I know you wouldn’t love me…I know I am ugly…I know I am not as talent as other too…you just treat nothing had happen. You can ignore me.” his voice cracked again.

Minwoo frowned badly, feeling sad that he knows he is the one who caused all this pain to his hyung and seeing hyung being so insecure about the love he was about to give to him.

“Hyung, I had been loving you for months, I would never ignore you. I love you. Will you be my boyfriend?” the youngest pulled away the blanket by using his unusual strength.

However, Donghyun continued looking down his lap, he doesn’t have any courage to face Minwoo now…even though Minwoo had just confessed his feeling not long ago but he couldn’t help it, thinking that Minwoo  just pitying him.

“Hyung…” Donghyun feels like killing himself for being so weak and so small in front of the youngest.

“Minwoo…you don’t know to pity me…I can handle pain quite well…” he tried to laugh it off but tears just incautiously fell again.

Minwoo gently cupped his hyung’s wet face and lifted them up. Seeing all those painful tears staining his hyung beautiful face, Minwoo couldn’t help it but leaned forward and kissed all those ungrateful tears away.

“Hyung…I love you and I love you for who you are, not because of your appearance or talent. You are the most perfect guy I could ever found despite all the flaws you had.”

“Minwoo ah…”

Minwoo could not control himself anymore; he pulled his hyung face right in front of him and roughly captures his red lips. At first Donghyun is struggling but Minwoo wouldn’t give up that easily. He strongly knew how much Donghyun had loved him, if he gives up now, the relationship that he always hoping to happen would vanish in front of him. Soon, Donghyun give up and melt into his hug and kiss. After having a long passionate kiss, both of them unwillingly leave each other to catch some breath.

“Hyung, I love you!” Minwoo is back to his usual cheerful character and starts giggle foolishly.

In this relationship, maybe is the younger one who making the first move but who cares when the leader, Donghyun finally can smile again.