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chapterthree.

“There are trees in the desert since you left.”

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He doesn’t remember the last time he laughed this much—or even smile as wide; he doesn’t remember when his world began to shift so drastically. He could squint terribly hard and say that it was probably Junho’s constant pesters for him to go out and socialize that got him. But as much excuses as he could conjure up to defend his rapid ‘metamorphosis’, he could always date it back to one person; Ji Eun. He doesn’t want to admit it, though, because admitting would make him seem weak; hopeless even. 

He wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to be defined by yet another girl, but the moment he heard her sing, he knew he couldn’t escape her wrath. And he tried, really hard. 

That day when he asked her to stay; he almost retracted his plea, almost let her go without even realizing how much he wanted to decide against it. But there was something about the way her lips curled at the sound of his reply. Admittedly, his mind trailed off to another smile he once knew so well; but the years had worn off his images of her and he was almost eager to replace those images with new ones. 

They spent the majority of the day talking. She doesn’t ask questions about his past and he has no reason to tell her. He’s glad, because it seems like Ji Eun was the only person in the world that didn’t want to dig too deep.

He liked being with her; liked talking to her; liked the way she giggles at his every words. He liked the way she fits with him; not afraid to poke at how much of an old soul he turned out to be. He liked her silence; the way she understood when certain things reminded him of the past. He thanks her for it, but she doesn’t press on and only smiles knowingly. 

Which was why he didn’t turn her down when she had asked for a date. Which was also when he realized he had gone off the dating scene for a really, really long time. 

“The great Jang Wooyoung, asking me, your lowly peasant, for dating advice?!” He almost had the urge to punch Junho in the face. 

“It’s not dating advice,” Wooyoung hissed while scanning his closet for a decent attire. It was shortly after they parted ways that he finally realized she hadn’t clued him in on where and how formal (or casual) the attire was going to be. He had nearly broken out in cold sweats upon this realization but thankfully he had half a brain to call out his most trusted friend. “I just need insights.” 

“You’re getting all riled up for a girl,” Junho added, wiggling his brows in the process. “Not sure I remember the last time it happened.” 

Junho bit his tongue after the last comment. He knew it was something that could have relentless consequences and he should have known better than to bring up something like that. But to his surprise, Wooyoung merely shrugged it off. Junho smiles at his friend, almost surprised by his nonchalance. 

He had seen it when she left—seen the broken mess that Wooyoung became in the wake of her absence. He had heard of the dynamic duo, and all about their tumultuous fallout. It’s only sort of miraculous that Wooyoung was able to pull through after that mess. But he never ask—never dared to push further for the words that wouldn’t be conveyed. 

“You’re going to be fine,” Junho’s words spoke of a double entendre. He knew it, and Wooyoung definitely knew it. But neither had to courage or time to say anything further. 

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It was 8 p.m. exact when he finally shows up in front of her door steps. He had contemplated bringing flowers, but decided against it because he didn’t want to seem like he was over-compensating. Against Junho’s suggestions for a full blown suit ‘you’ve got to blow a girl away, man’ he opted for a simple checkered button up and dark jeans. He straightens his back nervously as he press the doorbell. 

A pair of feet scrambles across wooden floors before stopping in front of the door. A moment of hesitation from the other person before the frame slips open, revealing a flustered Ji Eun on the other side. She smiles a toothy grin before him in her dainty white dress and he feels his heart skipping a beat. 

They sat in the car for awhile and he asks her where they were going. She merely gives him the address and decided not to disclose any further information. He stares at the girl in the white dress and for a moment, he has to remind himself that she was not her, no matter how many attributes they seem to share. His thoughts linger on that idea for awhile and he imagines the pain would come tumbling down, bursting open the scars he had always so carefully patched away. But it never came and he was finally at peace with the thought that maybe he was finally moving on. 

They drove for a long while and he doesn’t even seem to mind her rummaging through his CD collections (or even when she playfully jokes about the fact that he still owns a CD). They sped through songs whilst driving and he starts telling her all about the CDs he had kept. Some were from long ago; a past he doesn’t mind bringing up. Others were from his early career when he was producing songs for himself. And the rest.. they were songs he had written for her way back when their relationship wasn’t something of a distant memory. Those CDs, he doesn’t seem to dwell so much on and again, she only smiles knowingly. 

He wishes he could find the courage to tell her about those days.. about a past he so desperately wants to keep behind. He feels as if he could trust her, could confide in her in a way he hadn’t been able to since she left. But his mouth wouldn’t let him and the world he used to know still lingers on his lips, unable to convey all the hurt and betrayal he felt way back when. So he keeps his mouth shut and they go on about other things—anything other than the discs that were tucked away safely in the glove compartment. 

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They find themselves in a dimly lit restaurant with live music forty-five minutes away from the heart of Seoul. The restaurant was small, but warm and he feels at ease with the acoustics in the background. Ji Eun finds them a small table for two near the piano and thankfully nobody there seems to realize who they were. He orders a glass of sangria and a filet mignon while she orders herself a lobster linguine. 

They immerse themselves in a light conversation about her aunt/his boss and how amazing the opportunity was for her. He only chuckles slightly at her enthusiasm and thought about how he was in her position merely years ago. 

The conversation had him so engrossed that he doesn’t notice the next act being introduced. He was so entranced by Ji Eun’s glistening smiles that he almost missed the beats that swayed in his ears. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had picked up the cues; the slight dances on the piano keys, the hazy beats that held an unbearable resemblance to a melody he had scrapped so long ago.. 

...and more importantly, the soulful voice that had enchanted his heart for so many years.

“You,” He whispers almost inaudibly, the half-empty glass of sangria already slipping from his grasp. 

A loud shattering of glass fills the air and the piano halted completely. He could feel eyes scrutinizing him and mouths beginning to whisper around him. But his eyes could see no one else and his ears could only hear the loud beating of his own demanding heart. 

His brown orbs falls onto her chocolate ones and he could see the realization in her face. Her eyes shifts away from his focus and slowly she retreats backwards, not daring to come to terms with the man before her.

In his eyes, he could see her retracting; pain scattering all over her face. He could see the way her hand shakes at the sight of him and the way she pursed her lips as if to bite back words she never got the chance to say. 

“Tae—“ He starts, but she was already quick on her heels darting towards the red velvet curtains. Any last remnants of her gone from his field of vision. 

He is in a state of undeniable shock and blinks a few times, as if to confirm the figure that was in front of him mere seconds ago. He doesn’t remember what happens after that, but he remembers calling out her name for the first time in a long while. He remembers the plea and desperation in his voice just like the last time he let her go. 

All remaining logic tells him to stop—to let go, but his heart is dancing to a different beat and to this day, he still doesn’t understand why he did it; but he chased after her anyways. He chased after the girl who had never quite left him all these years—the girl who had left him at death’s hand so many moons ago.. and the girl who took his heart and tore it with her own hands. 

But damn it, he chased after her as if she was his last remaining dream. 

His eyes are hazy and his head is spinning rather fast. But he kept going because in the back of his mind, he knew, that if he let her go again, he may never see her again. And so, in a state of desperation, he begins to chant the same name he tried to forget so many times before.. 

The same name that had wreak havoc in his heart for so many years, 

the same name that broke him into pieces he never quite recovers... 

….the name of the girl he once loved. 

“Taeyeon!"

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A/N: I am a terrible human being and I don't deserve your support or comments. I fully don't expect you guys to forgive me for this cruel yearly updates. To be honest, I didn't realize I was going to continue this but the thought just came to me today while I was in class and it's kinda funny how stories work. This chapter is nothing like I imagined when I first started this but I'm liking where it's going.. especially if I'm going to try to cut this short and finish with 5 chapters. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter and for Taeng's dramatic return. I am still deeply sadden over SNSD's fallout with she-who-will-not-be-named but I will continue to support each sides together and separately. As always, thank you for reading. :)