The halls echo my every step. I’m being led into, yet again, another room. This room is fairly small with no windows or mirrors. All the walls are grey and made of concrete. A single dim light hangs from the ceiling, flickering. There is a table set in the middle, a dark wooden color with two metal chairs, one at each end.

A boy sits at the far end of the table, staring at my every move. His clothing is formal, as if he were getting ready to leave for a business trip; which is slightly amusing since he seems to be the same age as me.

What is he trying to be, a man?

“You don’t have to stand.” his voice was solid, but not demanding. He talked to me as if we were friends.

Nodding at him I slumped lazily into my seat. “Look, I think I’ve been through this enough times, I know why I’m here, and-”

“Do you?” his interruption made me blink. All the other people I’ve talked too never dared to interrupt me. “Do you really?”

My mouth opened to speak, but no words came out. This boy is talking about where we are at this very moment. Thinking about it right here, right now, I don’t know why I’m here. For the first time in such a long time, my mind drew a blank.

I squinted at him. This boy is playing at a different game then the other people. “What’s your name?”

He smiled, his eyes filled with some strange thing, my eyebrows rose. “Kim Jonghyun.” Jonghyun sat there, waiting to see my reaction; which really wasn't much. He only gave me his name, nothing big. Whatever was in his eyes disappeared. “And what’s your name?”

My eyebrows rose. “Shouldn’t you already know my name?”

Again he smiled. “Yeah I do, but I gave you mine so it’s only right for you to give me yours.”

I slouched forward and yawned. “Kim Sunggyu.” I leaned forward in my seat. “So Jonghyun, tell me, why am I here?”

For a moment he just sat there. A familiar silence wrapped around us like a rope, tightening with each passing second. “Try asking me later.” He gave a small smile. Why is he smiling so much? “Let’s just get right to it, do you remember how you got here, as in this hospital?”

“Of course I do.”

Jonghyun sat up straighter. “Can you tell me the whole story of how you got here?” 

His game is extremely different.  “It’s a... long story.”

“We have all the time in the world Sunggyu.”

It was many months ago, the first day of the last year of high school –otherwise known as senior year. The year that would be filled with memories. Or at least that’s what everyone says.

Kim Sunggyu walked into a different school that day –he had just moved not too long ago. A new school meant a new start was waiting for him. Innocence and pureness radiated from him. This would be his year; a year that would engraved in his mind. He could feel it.  

Confidently he walked into his homeroom class. Within a few moments he made his first friend: Nam Woohyun.  And within moments after that he would make his second friend: Kim Myungsoo.

“You’re going to love it here, everyone is friendly!” Woohyun cheered.

Throughout all his classes all he made were friends. In second period, he met Kim Jongwoon and Cho Kyuhyun; in third period, Lee Seunghyun and Kwon Jiyong. The list of people could go on and on.

However, when lunch came about, a small little event happened, from which he didn’t make a new friend. Who knew it would become something big?

Sunggyu stood in line, there was only one pudding cup left. Another boy was also in line, he too noticed the last pudding cup. Both boys grabbed it; the two looked at each other, taunting each other.

“Would you mind letting go?” Sunggyu asked with a smile.

“Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.” The boy smiled back.

It was an innocent little game of tug-of-war; when it looked like Sunggyu would win, the boy would pull harder and vice versa. At some point, the two boys starting squeezing hard on the cup, it couldn’t handle the pressure so it exploded on an unlucky girl. Her name was Lee Jieun, one of the kindest girls in school, not to mention the most beautiful.

Both boys quickly bowed and apologized.

She smiled at them. “It’s alright! It was an accident.”

Oh yes, it was just "an accident" but it was an accident that spiraled into many other things. 

For starters, pudding cups were banned from school. More importantly, Sunggyu made a rival, a rival in all subjects –from academics, to music, and to love.

Yes, both boys had fallen for the Pudding Victim, Lee Jieun.

Jonghyun interrupted me. “Wait, what was the boy’s name?”

Huh. What was his name? I’m surprised I even remember Jieun’s name. Haha.

Names have never been my thing. All I can come up with is “Jung Daehyun.” I readjusted myself in my seat. “Let’s just say his name is Jung Daehyun.” Jonghyun nodded slowly. “May I continue now?”

The first day of school soon came to an end. Sunggyu had to say, it had been an exceptional first day. With a smile on his face he started for home. It was silent but nice, very peaceful. Looking up to the sky, he admired how clear and, well, blue it looked. It was very relaxing.

“WATCH OUT!” he turned around only to be met with a bike. Instead of admiring the blueness of the sky, he was looking at the greyness of the sidewalk.

“I crashed into someone again.” the girl groaned to herself. Sunggyu pushed himself off of the sidewalk to see who the girl who crashed into him was.

What a coincidence, Sunggyu thought with a grin.

“Hey Jieun.”

Jieun finally brought her attention to him. “Oh Sunggyu! Hey, what-” she stopped, seeming to just then realize who she crashed into. “I’m so sorry! I really need to get my brakes fixed. Did you get hurt anywhere? Oh I hop-” she went on and on.

Most would probably find her nonstop rambling annoying; Sunggyu found it cute.

“Jieun I’m fine.”

The girl bit her lip. “Are you sure?” he nodded.

“So is this the second time you crashed into someone?” he grinned.

Her face went red. “Well I kind of bumped into Daehyun earlier.” And the coincidences continue. He chuckled. “Aigoo I better be going; Bye Sunggyu! See you at school, and again I’m sorry!” soon she was up and off the floor and on her bike heading home.

He sat there reliving the small moment that had just occurred. That small accident would be placed in a special section of his head, right next to the pudding one.

After a while he stood and began to walk home.

Now two months into school, Sunggyu became closer to his friends, and more importantly to Lee Jieun. But he wasn’t the only one who had gotten close to the beauty.

“Sunggyu!” the boy turned around to see who had called his name; a smile came upon his face when he saw Jieun running towards him. 

Woohyun teased the boy. “You better go, your girl is waiting, see you later.” Sunggyu stuck his tongue at him, Myungsoo and Woohyun laughed. He walked over to meet Jieun half way.

“Hey Jieun!” he said, a smile evident on his face.

She grinned. “You wanna go somewhere after school?”

His heart beat increased, had he just been asked out by his crush? Thoughts flooded his mind.

“Just you and me?” the words left his mouth before he realized what he was saying.

The girl looked shocked for moment then shook her head, her face slightly pink. “No, no!” she gave a small smile. “Daehyun is coming as well.” His heart sank, but he then pushed that feeling away. What was he too expect, it’s a little soon for anyone to be asking anyone out.

Then her words registered clearly into his head.

Daehyun was going.  

Sunggyu bit his lip. Going would mean spending precious time with his arch rival; however not going would mean leaving his crush and his enemy together, alone.

He sighed quietly to himself. “Sure, where are we going to meet at?”

Sunggyu walked into his next class and sat down. His feelings were so contradicting: He felt happy, he would be hanging with Jieun after school, but Daehyun was going as well.

Baekhyun and Jongin walked over to him, grinning. “So, did Jieun ask you out on a date?” Jongin asked.

Sunggyu sighed. “Sort of…” he mumbled.

“Sort of?” the two tilted their heads the side in confusion.

Another sigh came out. “Daehyun’s coming too.”

“Oh.”

Baekhyun patted his shoulder. “Good luck man.”

"So she invited you too?

Sunggyu chuckled. He had a feeling Daehyun would be the one to speak first. "Well I'm here aren't I?" 

Daehyun's eyebrows furrowed. "What's so funny?" 

"Well-"

Before he could finish his sentence she arrived. "Hi guys!" 

The two boys turned and beamed at the girl. "Hi Jieun!" they spoke in sync. After hearing the other talk at the same time they glared at each other. She laughed at their actions. To her they seemed like best friends; to each other they were enemies; to the public eye, it seemed like a love triangle. And each one, whether it was then or later, was or would become true. But that's for later on in the story.

"Come on! We're going to the arcade!" she grabbed their hands and dragged them off. Never did she notice the faint pink on their faces. 

It didn't take long for the three to reach the arcade. When they got inside, the sounds of screaming kids filled their ears. Sunggyu smiled at the sight of the dark room filled with games, it was like he was a kid again. 

"So what are doing here?" Daehyun asked with excitement. 

Jieun smiled. "I want to get that!" her hand flew up and pointed to a gigantic teddy bear. "But there's no way I can raise all those tickets on my own." the bear's label was 4500 tickets. "So would you two like to help me?" 

Her smile lit up the dark room; her eyes were full of hope and desire. Yes all because of a bear, she became a child, a cute looking one at that. And who can say no to a cute girl? Especially one that you like. 

So of course both boys agreed right away, at the same time. They took one look at each other and ran for the games. Game after game, ticket after ticket, never did they stop. Their determination got everyone in the arcade watching. Hours later, before closing time Sunggyu took one look at Daehyun and ran for the cashier; Daehyun was right next to him. As expected, the two got there at the same time, accidently mixing up their tickets. 

To this day no one knows who got more tickets. 

Outside the sky was turning lavender. The trio walked together on the sidewalk in comfortable silence. Both Daehyun and Sunggyu were walking Jieun home, neither one of them wanted the other to be left alone with the girl. As they walked, Jieun would often giggle to herself. She held her bear, who she named Sunghyun, with the widest smile a girl could have; she hugged it as if were the best thing in her life. Sunggyu felt amazing; he had helped create that smile. 

"Will you two be alright getting home?" she asked while opening her door. 

Daehyun grinned. "I'll be fine!"

Sunggyu chuckled and smiled. "I'll be fine too." 

With a nod, she bid them a soft bye and a thank you, but then she remembered something. Before she stepped into her house she gave each Sunggyu and Daehyun something, then she went in and closed the door. The two boys stood there awkwardly, both holding their gift from Jieun, not knowing what to do. Should they walk together, or go their separate ways?

"Um... well let's go..." Daehyun mumbled and turned around. Sunggyu just nodded. It looked like they'd be walking together. 

Any trace of the blue sky was gone, night had come. The moon was full and white, stars shone brightly in the sky. It was a romantic scene-- well for the average couple it would be, for these two boys... well it was the most awkward scene. At times Sunggyu would open his mouth to start a conversation but he wouldn't because he would see that Daehyun was about to speak. It really was like the two were best friends. 

Minutes had gone by they were already on their street.

"Wait... you live here?"

Sunggyu looked at Daehyun shocked, Daehyun had the same expression. After all the time Sunggyu had lived here, never had the two encountered. It was a weird but ironic moment. 

Now don't think they're neighbors that would be too ironic. 

It came time for the two to part ways. "Well Daehyun, today was fun." 

"Yes it was Sunggyu." 

Another awkward silence. 

"Draw?" they spoke at once, but this time they laughed. 

Saying bye, Sunggyu walked over to his house. He took a deep breath before he opened his palm. What he saw made a laugh erupted from his lips. Jieun had given him one of those friendship necklaces that you can share with another friend. His share was half a heart with the word FRIENDS in big letters. He turned diagonal from his house to look at Daehyun, Daehyun had done the same. Both boys were grinning; it was the funniest thing in the word. 

Daehyun cupped his mouth. "BEST!"

Sunggyu followed his actions. "FRIENDS!" 

And that's how two rivals became the closest of friends (but they were still rivals). 

Jonghyun laughed in amusement at that part of the story. Indeed, it is a hilarious part of the story. Though his laugh was a little big, it was as if he himself were recalling the memory. I guess my story telling skills are good. HIs laughter didn't cease until I coughed. As he recomposed himself I reached for the necklace; I always keep it with me. 

Jonghyun noticed it. "Why did you keep it?" that strange look is back. 

I set it down on the table. "If you're thinking I kept it for sentimental reasons, you're completely wrong." 

"Then why?"

Without hesitation I told him, it's not like he would understand what I mean. "So I can feel something." Not that it works. I don’t feel a thing even with it.

All he did in reply was nod, exactly what I expected. "Should I continue on, things get kind of boring now?"

He leaned forward onto the table, clearly interested in my story. "Just sum it up and get to the... interesting parts." 

Another couple of months go by. The two rivals, now also best friends, hung out together almost all the time, a big change for the two. In fact everyone had big changes during the past months, whether it be that they started to show their true colors, or that they spent their days a different way. 

For Sunggyu everyday become fun. He did things with all his friends that any other average teenager would do: watch movies, go to the park, karaoke. Of course they also did strange things, but who didn't?

It was another day, not different from any other. Well excluding the fact that the weather had been extremely nice: clear blue skies and a bright yellow sun. School had just got out and Jieun had invited the two out to somewhere. 

"Where are we going Jieun?" Daehyun asked as he jumped onto Sunggyu's back, the boy was, obviously, too lazy to walk. Sunggyu just laughed. 

Jieun turned around, she wore a smile, but it wasn't at all innocent. "A special place of mine."

Sunggyu shrugged Daehyun off, a confused expression on his face. It was then that he started to realize that Lee Jieun, like everyone else, had also changed. But being in love with her, he didn't see that change as a bad one. 

Daehyun's eyebrows rose. "Huh?" 

"I'll tell you when we get there." with that sentence she turned forward and sped up her pace. Clearly she wanted to get to wherever they were going fast. 

He couldn't explain it but Sunggyu had a bad feeling at the pit of his stomach. But he didn't trust it; he put it off as the sandwich from lunch not digesting well; which was reasonable, with the weather being so wonderful no one would think that, that day would be a bad one. Though it would've been better for him to have trusted what he was feeling. 

Soon the three arrived at an old, wooden building; with no clue what it was back in its day. A faded brown covered the building; it was the kind of color that just slowly dragged one in. All the windows and doors were gone, nothing covering the empty spaces. Sunggyu and Daehyun were intrigued, out of all the places, why would Jieun take them to some old building? 

Despite the two's questioning faces, Jieun just walked into the building. With no hesitation the two followed her; still no one said a word. 

Inside was nothing. It was like they walked into a new house, even though it wasn't new. The silence that filled the air made Sunggyu feel something bad about to happen. But still, he shrugged it off. Oh what a bad idea that was. 

"Want one?" that moment, when Jieun broke the silence, that was when things were going to change for the worse. In , was a cigarette; in her hand was the pack, and she was offering them to Sunggyu and Daehyun. 

Right here, this moment, this is where describing feelings starts getting tricky. 

Sunggyu didn't know how he felt; it was a weird brew of many things.

Shock. 

Sadness. 

Anger. 

At that moment, those were the things he was sure he had felt. And he needed to let everything out, but he couldn't. The shock disabled his ability to react. 

The person he loved, the one who he felt was the one, smoked. His angel smoked, and she even offered him to join her. The putrid smell filled his nostrils, it was disgusting. He hated people who smoked around others, he had always thought of how inconsiderate they were. And there, his lovely Jieun was letting him inhale her smoke. 

Unlike Sunggyu, Daehyun could actually let his feelings out. His enraged voice echoed through the empty building. "Jieun stop it." 

The beautiful Jieun, the kindest girl in school, the Pudding Victim, blew smoke right into his face. "No. You can't tell me what to do." 

Her perfect image was burned away by the lighter she held in her other hand. But still, Sunggyu knew he loved her. Weirdly, that was all he could think of, while Daehyun was trying to get her to stop, Sunggyu only thought that he still loved her. He paid no attention to the other two, he had completely spaced out. It was like the smoke had completely consumed him and didn't let him see them. 

But he did feel the burning hit to the head. His body crumbled to the floor, the smoke cleared up when he collided with the cold wooden floor. Through his eyes, he could see Daehyun holding Jieun's arms away from her. Sunggyu could see Jieun's cigarette burning Daehyun's arm, but still the boy didn't give up. The two struggled, bumping in to all the walls, burning them. Their words were incomprehendable to Sunggyu, only his sight worked at that moment. 

To him, the struggle was years. In reality, it was only seconds, they had burned every wall. Daehyun smacked Jieun's arm, sending the lit lighter off. Somehow, something exploded. 

Now Sunggyu's senses came back. The sound of flames surrounded him, he could feel them grazing him, but it didn't hurt. 

Through the flames, barely, he could make out two figures. Both seemed tired and hurt. Faintly he could hear yelling coming from them, he only understood a couple of words. 

"-gyu!"

"-ere!" one of the figures ran off. 

"-YOU!"

That was the last thing he heard before he passed out, but in that very small moment before he did, a flash of thoughts ran through his mind. Two figures, Jieun and Daehyun. Both left him there, in the flames of hell. Alone. His love, his best friend, neither of them ran in to save him. It wasn't the lack of oxygen that caused him to lose consciousness. It was the fact that the two people who he cared about most in his world had left him to die. 

The flames' damage was not on the outside, but on the inside. The betrayal and heart break he felt burned his heart, they burned his heart into nothing.

Kim Sunggyu died. 

"Then I was put here." I stretched and looked at Jonghyun, he seemed shocked. "What?" 

His mouth made different shapes. It seems he's at a loss for words. Was my story too much for him? I don't think he should have that big of a reaction. It's not really that big of a story. 

"How could you tell that story with no feelings?" 

Oh so that's why... Of course that would be why he's shocked. I can see why someone like him would wonder that. He's probably lucky. Resting my elbows on the table I began to think. How can I explain this to a person like him?

"Do you know what the best feeling is?" I asked with a smile on my face. 

Jonghyun's eyebrows furrowed. "Um... I don't think I do." 

"Oh come on just take a guess." 

He pondered for a moment. I'm sure I know what he'll say. "Love." Haha there it is.  

"Wrong." I sat up straight in my chair, giving him a sickly sweet smile. "It's pain Jonghyun."

Again he seemed completely shocked. "W-What?" 

By now he probably thinks I'm crazy. Huh, maybe I am. 

"Yup, grieving over a death, suffering from divorce, feeling your heart break, those are the best" 

He leaned forward on the table, wanting to understand my way of thinking. "But why is pain the best feeling?" 

"Because Jonghyun," his eyes met mine, "it proves you can feel." 

He sat there silently, letting my words sink in. He obviously doesn't understand what I mean, which is what I expected. Never have I met anyone who has understood me. No one ever does. But I won't be hypocritical, since I can't feel I don't understand others. Wow, it's been awhile since I've felt anything hasn't it? 

After a couple of minutes I yawned, he still hasn’t said anything. “Can I leave now?”

“You don’t feel anything?”

Something in me… opened? He had understood me. “Yeah I don’t. That’s why I’m in this hospital, they think I’m crazy.” He really is different.

He smiled softly. “Ask the question now.”

It took me a couple of seconds until I remembered what he was referring too. “Why am I here Jonghyun?”

“You’re here to remember.” The way he answered my question, it was like he had just figured out the answer himself. It’s not surprising if he really did just figure out the answer. He made no sense.

“Remember what?”

“How to feel." 

I blinked three times. Remember how to feel? That... how do you even do that? 

"And how do I do that?" 

"By remembering your story correctly."

I scoffed. Who is he to say that I don’t know my own past? “And what is incorrect about my story, Kim Jonghyun?”

“Only a few details.”

“Care to tell me?”

Jonghyun put his hands onto his lap. “It was at the arcade, not an old building.” He gave me no time to reply, he just kept listing the details I got wrong. “Jieun had taken you two to the arcade. Once you got there Daehyun went straight to the restroom. You and Jieun went into the far corner to sit down. That’s where you whipped out a cigarette.”

I looked at him in disbelief, still he continued. “Jieun was completely shocked; she didn’t know what to do. Daehyun came back and started yelling at you, you yelled back. That’s when you two started to fight. Jieun couldn’t move it was too much for her. Somehow, the lighter ended up open and on the floor.  A fire started. On instinct the two boys ran out the arcade, the fire had quickly spread. Many people gathered around.”

He took a deep breath and continued the story with his eyes closed. “Daehyun was a coughing mess. You had just stood still, ashamed of yourself. Then both of you noticed that Jieun wasn’t with you… she was… still inside.” He took another breath. “You told him to stay out, that you’d get her. He started to argue but he couldn’t stop coughing. You ran back inside.”

“Lee Jieun died that day.”

I gave him no reply. Jieun is dead because of me? Huh. “Okay, that’s a nice story, but how would you know that?”

He stood up from his seat and looked me straight in the eye. On his face is a look of determination. Confidence. Silence filled the room yet again. I clicked my tongue. Was he just going to stand there and look at me? I bent my head to the left.

He’s waiting for me to do something.

I let out a breath. This boy really is interesting. Time is going by, and he’s still standing. This is boring, I looked at his face. He still has that same look. Why won’t he tell me what he wants to do? That would make things go much faster. I studied him more in depth this time, earlier I had only looked at his clothing; now I’m only looking at what his face is saying. I guess it’s time to actually look at him. He shifted to get in a more comfortable position or something.

Something glistened on his neck. I closed my eyes a bit to get a better look.

My body jolted up, my chair fell back. I took a step away from him. Everything in me began to crumble. Sweat poured down my neck.

It can’t be. There’s no way.

I fell to the floor and held my head down. The sound of my screams filled the room; at least I think they do. Memories of exactly what Jonghyun said flooded into my head. People… Screaming…

Fire.

Sunggyu!

Stay here!

SHE WAS GOING TO TELL YOU SHE LOVES YOU!

I remember everything. After I ran into the building she screamed, that’s when I tripped over a teddy bear. A kid had left it lying there. When I saw it, I cried. It was the same bear as Jieun’s. Jieun… I let her die. Tears stream down my face. I clutched my necklace tightly in my hand. I remember…

I remember.

“Sunggyu?”

I looked up; Jonghyun is offering me his hand, its dangling right there in front of me. A smile is on his face, a smile of hope.

“Best.” he whispered so softly I almost didn’t catch what he said.

I accepted his hand with a smile. Our necklaces became one. 

“Friends.”