Eunhyuk POV

Not as sharp as a hawk

Not as blurry as  morning mist

I can see you when my eyes closed

Call me crazy

Cause I dream of you on every daylight

To be a professional dancer is my dream since I was in elementary school watching a hiphop boyband Seo Taeji and Boys. Why? First, it’s look so cool. Second, I could get girls attentions easily. Everyday, I practiced dancing by imitating their dance moves.

But hobbies were like seasons. Changeable. When you get bored and find another hobby, you will leave your previous hobby gradually. But if you have a certain goal to achieve someday, you won’t be bored until the time you achieve that dream of yours.

Therefore, I have another reason. Third reason. To impress someone. The one who become my inspiration to create my own dance moves.

I have a secret crush. Very secret crush. I am telling you, I am not a shy person yet even a coward who couldn’t confess my feeling to my crush. Just go away if you’re gonna laugh about this. I just don’t want to ….ruin it.

Ruin the perfection.

I don’t know his name and I don’t want to know his name because I have my own way to call him. I told you, please don’t laugh, okay (please) !!

I call him…..

 pumpkin (hihi….XD)

Actually he is my neighbor since ten years ago. His house is separated by two other houses from mine. The first time I saw him when I passed his house to go hanging out with Shindong and Donghae watching a concert of the most popular boyband in Korea at that time, H.O.T.

“abojii… omunii… please take me with you (hiks..hiks…hiks..)!!”

I saw him crying to his parent who seemed wanting to go to a far place (by seeing how big their suit case). They kissed him on the cheek then went inside the car and moved away. An old lady (seemed like his grandma) patted his shoulder to comfort him. He hugged a pink flushy bunny while still sobbing.

Then for a moment, our eyes met. That kid was sooo cute. His foxy eyes, his trembling lip, and his silky black hair. I swear there was no girl in my school who was as cute as him (even in my kindergarden). I tried to say ‘Anyeong’ and smiled as wide as I could toward him but his face became red. He buried his face to his bunny then quickly turned around and run back to his big house.

“Huh, did I scare him?” I said to my friends.

Shindong only shrugged “Rich kid always like that. Just ignore him. I am sure he is not interested to play with us”.

But my fish friend Donghae didn’t agree “No, I think he is just shy”

“How do you know?” I asked.

“My mom said It’s a woman’s intuition”

Shindong rolled his eyes “But you’re not a woman, how could you have that? Babo!!”

#********````********#

That kid. I really want to befriend with him but I know we’re from a different society (eventhough we’re neighbours). We went to a  different school. That’s why it’s so difficult for us to meet by accident. He’s busy with a lot of course out of school while I am busy in my dancing school club. It’s not like I didn’t have any courage to talk with him because scaring he would look low on me but I want to introduce myself when I am ready. When I am good enough to look straight at him and says these words with confidence :

“I’ve become one of the best dancer in Korea. Thanks to you because you’ve been my inspiration since the first time I met you”

Everyday (except Saturday), I practice dancing on a rooftop since my house doesn’t have a decent room to practice (and my mom will scold me a lot).

I like dancing on a rooftop. In a silent night. When everyone is sleeping. I will dance with all passion that I have. Stomping my feet on the cold floor. Slashing the air around me with my hand. With only the night breeze as my music.

When I am seeing stars, I imagine his face between them. Like I said before, he is my inspiration. I find my rhythm by thinking of him.

On Saturday,  I don’t practice because I am too tired after having a soccer game to play with my friends and sometimes girls to date. Girls (sometimes even a guy) confessed to me for the nth time. Well, I can’t help it. I am telling you I am quite very popular in this district ( I’ve used the word ‘quite’ to keep me being humble so don’t look at me like that -_-“).

It’s not like I am a bad guy or a play boy. I did trying to date them sincerely but no one of them could impress me deeply like him.

Yes. Ten years has passed. He becomes a beautiful grown up guy. There is a time I found him cute when I coincidentally passed his house and saw he pursued his lip whenever he concentrated studying from his window’s room (Just want you to know I have a very good eyes XD).

There is also a time when I found him y sitting comfortably on  a lonely hill and closing his eyes while humming a song. I accidentally discovered his hiding place when I hanged out with Yesung collecting bugs.

Since then I have a new additional hobby.  Whenever he comes to his secret place, I will sit behind a certain tree then listen to his voice singing any song. I like his baritone voice. Very fluty. Beside that I also…. (Please don’t laugh!), I recorded his voice while singing and saved it to my mp3 kekeke…. XD. I am sure he will be a success singer if he want to and I will praise my self that I am his first fan.

#********````********#

One day (I don’t remember the exact date), I found a pink handkerchief with a little rabbit knitted on a corner. I am sure it’s his. Instead of returning it, I kept it and brought it as my lucky charms whenever I went to a dance competition. Luckily, I always won since then.

But unfortunately, I had to return that handkerchief as I failed to not create any noise while trying to hide and secretly listening his singing voice.

I saw his shocked face when he saw me. I didn’t want he suspected me as a stalker so I pretended that I coincidentally walked here and found his lost handkerchief.

“Thank-thank you for finding it. I had search for this fo..for a long time” he said with a stuttering voice.

After returning it, I didn’t have anyting to say any more because I was too mesmerized as  it’s the first time I talked with him. His voice is so sweet. If it could materialized, it would become a very sweet rolled candy. I didn’t regret retuning it to him.

Sometimes I wonder if he has a lover now. It’s impossible a guy as cute as him doesn’t have girlfriend or even boyfriend. I think he’s popular too. More than once, I caught some students at my school talking about their crush toward a cute guy with foxy eyes at SM high school. I don’t know why, but I am sure it’s him. I didn’t want to ask his name from them because I want my pumpkin will tell his name by himself one day. So to secure my spot (at least in my mind), I scared those student and told them that he had a very scary boyfriend. More scary than Kangin (a bully from our school). Glad most of them trust me.

#********````********#

Then there is a time when I walked home early from my school. I saw him had been escorted home by a tall handsome with dimple smiling guy who rode a very cool motorbike. I suddenly felt an electric itched feeling run from my chest then spread all over my body after seeing the scene in front of me.

The way he smiled toward that dimple guy. I felt my heart sinked because that smile didn’t belong to me.

Was I jealous? I wasn’t sure either. A part of me afraid this will become worse.

That day, I didn’t have any will to dance on my rooftop like usual I used to be.

#********````********#

I have had a very bad mood these three days. I don’t have full spirit to practice dancing. Even in my school dance club, I often did some mistakes on my dance moves. My team members really worried about me. I wondered if it because I didn’t have my lucky handkerchief anymore or because another thing. That is the first time I had an anxiety for not be able winning the next hip hop dance competition.

Today I don’t have a feeling to play soccer or to date any girls. So I choosed to go to a department store alone and buying some stuff.

After buying enough of whatever I need for next dancing competition event, I go to a bus stop to reach my home. I stop for a moment when I see a familiar figure.

It’s him. My pumpkin.

I don’t know this is my lucky day or not. So I approach him and purposely stand beside him.

He turns to his side then we look to each other and our eyes lock for a moment.

“Hi, we meet again” I say and try to not be sound nervous.

“Ye..yes” he says then drops his head eyeing the ground between his feet.

I don’t know whether I am hallucinating or not because I am sure I see his cheek blushing red.

The bus has come, so we ride on it and I purposely sit beside him (I don’t know from where I have a courage to do that).

I notice he bring the same hand bag as me.

“Seems like you’ve bought a lot” I say to melt the tense atmosphere.

He shrug “Just some clothes”

“Are you going to a date tonight so you bought those clothes?” Damn it!!! What have I been thinking!!! I didn’t suppose to ask about his privacy. I thought. I really don’t know what have come into me all of a sudden.

His expression changes. I see him pouts for a moment “You’ve bought a lot too. Are you going to a date too?”

“I am sorry. I..I... didn’t mean to ask about your privacy. I don’t mind if you don’t tell me. It’s just I want to hold a conversation with you. Maybe you never notice me, but actually I am your neighbou…”

“I know!! I know you’re my neighbor since I lived there” he cut me. Then I see his cheek get blushing again.

I don't know what exactly I feel this time. A tingling feeling? Butterfly in my stomach? Knowing he notices me from beginning. I am so happy that I don’t even realize a wide smile had been drawn on my face.

Time’s flying too fast that the bus must stop. He quickly stand up and leaves out of the bus then walks to his home.

I want to follow him but I have to bring the stuff I’ve bought to my dance club.

I reach the dance club. I meet my members then discuss about our next choreography. Right when I open my handbag, I find a lot of unfamiliar stuffs. Then I realize that my hand bag got switched to my pumpkin’s handbag (Hey, don’t look at me like that!! What so wrong if I call him my pumpkin?)

I put out a lot of stuff from there then I find a little sketch book. I open it and get shocked because in every page of it is contained a lot of sketchs of me. Yes. Me !!!!!

I am sure of it because he also draw my rooftop.

He watched me. He watched me. He watched me. He watched me !!!!!!

You wouln’t know how much happy I am. He know me. And he like me (At least I am sure that he like my dancing).

I suddenly remember something and I feel sweat came out all over my face. If his stuffs are with me then my stuffs are with him too.

Oh my god, he will found it. He will found my secret. There is my pink mp3 (with pumpkin sticker) with his voice recorded in it and some picture I captured when he’s singing on that secret hill. I thought. But when I think about it again. Hey, he did the same as me too!!! So that’s mean we’re feeling the same (at least we admire to each other).

I can’t hold it anymore. I can’t wait after I become the best dancer in Korea. So I borrow Shindong's scooter and excuse myself to go meet him.

While I am almost closed to his home, I see him running out of his house. I stop in front of him. I see him gasping and tries to catch his breath. His hand holding my mp3 and some of his photos I’ve been captured.

We stand and face to each other in the middle of road.

We stare and smile to each other. It seems like we're understand to each other already. I am not sure that at the moment I have some confidence built up to say what I’ve been wanting so much to say since 10 years.

“Lee Hyukjae”

“Lee Sungmin” he says.

"Would.... would you join me to my rooftop tonight?"

From now on, I will make sure that there is no more dimple guy in my pumpkin's life.