(My A/N from over a year ago. I didn't bother editing this since I've posted this on Soshified)

Hello dear readers! Sorry for the lack of recent oneshots. I wrote this for my ever awesome chingoo, beta reader, RHYS! <3 Thank you very much for all the help. I know I asked you to beta read this story BUT you are so busy that I don't want to bother you. You'll just help me on my future Jeti and Yulti, okay?

Anyway, dear readers, this is my first attempt on writing something less dramatic and traumatic. Please take it easy on me. I'm still learning; however, don't be afraid to point out what you think lacks in this story. I'd love to read your feedbacks. How else will I learn, right? :] I am not a fluff writer so please don't expect too much. Lol! I actually admire fluff writers for I can never be like them. I'm too wordy and I like building things up from scratch. By this I mean, I usually have foundation per scene I write. I hope you also don't mind the length of this one shot for it is my longest one shot. I was even planning on cutting it to two or three parts but I decided to leave it as it is. :]

No one beta read this so there might be plot holes and typos, and I apologize in advance. My friends helped me detect the errors in the first few scenes but I didnt want to bother them anymore. Thank you for reading my A/N.

I really wish that you guys will enjoy this one shot. :]


Secret Message




“I’m sick of looking after her!” Taeyeon exclaimed as she and her best friend, Sooyoung, walked the halls of the library. Few heads turned and stared at the odd duo but Taeyeon didn’t care. She was truly aggravated on how her roommate had been treating her. To her, yelling in their University’s library was nothing. “I cleaned ‘til midnight last night! I would… urghhh!” She couldn’t finish her sentence; instead, she let out a grunt and motioned as if she was choking someone in front of her.

“Calm down.” Sooyoung was used to hearing these complaints from Taeyeon every single morning as they would head back to their dormitory after their first class, and she learned to somewhat ignore all of Taeyeon’s complaints. It had been like this for the past year and a half.

“I am calm.” The sound of Taeyeon’s voice told otherwise. It had already been her third semester in college and Sooyoung could easily tell if Taeyeon was calm or not. “It’s just annoying to see strands of hair on the sink.”

“A strand of hair. Not strands.” Sooyoung rebutted with a long sigh. Part of her knew that she needed to at least answer her best friend, while the other part of her was tired of having the same conversation every single day.

Taeyeon continued without bothering about her best friend’s sarcastic remark. “I don’t like it when her clothes are everywhere.”  

“Her bra was hanging in the bathroom. Not clothes.” By now, Sooyoung was running out of energy. She used the same dialogue everyday when she conversed with her best friend, and it still had no effect on Taeyeon. When would Taeyeon realize that not everyone could be like her – a clean freak?

“I hate it! It’s not like it’s her room!” Taeyeon bellowed as she stomped her right foot in frustration.

“Just so you know, it is her room.” Sooyoung rolled her eyes. I it was perfectly understandable that Sooyoung would feel fed up over the discussion. There was nothing but complaints. Taeyeon didn't even bother asking how she was doing; instead she just vented her frustrations out. Even a shikshin like Sooyoung could only take so much.

“Yah! I’m your best friend. Why are you defending her!?” Taeyeon glared at Sooyoung. The tall girl remained silent after she shrugged. If she said more, she knew she’d end up frustrating Taeyeon even more. “YAH!! Seriously! You don’t even pay attention and you still defend her!”

Sooyoung was at her limits and rolled her eyes, “Why? Because I don’t talk smack about your roommate like you do? I'll tell you why, remember that one time…” She paused and waited for Taeyeon to continue her words but Taeyeon didn’t have a clue of what Sooyoung was talking about so she finished her words, “I said that your roommate is lazy and you should just move out of that dorm. It’s really easy to ask for another room but why don’t you do it?!” Sooyoung raised a brow, “You even got mad at me for saying that she’s lazy and when I actually agreed with you, you got mad at me. Even though you seem to have OCD, why do you think you get pissed when others talk smack about that slob even though she trashes the room and leaves strands of hair on the sink or her toothbrush?” She paused for a breath of air then resumed with her high pitched, loud ranting. “Don’t forget that most of the time she would leave her makeup everywhere, too.”

Taeyeon couldn’t talk.  Everything that her best friend said was true.  Not to mention she somewhat felt guilty for yelling at her one and only tall best friend.

Sooyoung scratched the back of her head, realizing that her tone came out harsher than she had hoped. Maybe nagging was contagious? Sooyoung sighed. “Why do you think you’re still in that dorm room?” She wiped the frustrated expression off her face, sighed, and pulled up an encouraging smile, “I’m sure it’s not the good view because the only view you have from your window is a crappy backfield. It can’t be the accessible bathroom since all rooms have private bathrooms.” There was a smirk on the shikshin’s face, “No. We both know what that is, right?”

“Stupid feelings.” Taeyeon murmured. The way Taeyeon looked couldn't help but make Sooyoung give a hearty laugh. She was just unbelievably adorable in a laughable way.  Taeyeon may have been complaining for a year and a half but she couldn’t help it. She had been in love with her roommate and Taeyeon had no intentions of leaving the slob just yet.

 

****

Taeyeon entered the room and everything seemed to be clean on her side, just like how she left it. She turned her gaze to her roommate’s side of the room, everything was somewhat tidy but what peeved Taeyeon the most was her roommate’s bed. Her comforter and sheets weren’t even made and there were pieces of crumpled paper everywhere. She sighed and walked over to her roommate’s side of the room. It amazed her how this slob could manage to make the room look messy when she just cleaned it last night before they slept.

“Why can’t you fix your bed whenever you get up and throw the trash in the bin?!” Taeyeon punched the pillow. She sat on the bed and punched the pillow some more, letting all her frustrations out. Taeyeon then grabbed the pillow that she had battered and just held it tight, hugging it as if she was its owner. She rested her chin on it and then murmured, “Lazy! Bum! Stupid!”

“Who’s lazy, a bum, and stupid?” A long locked blonde asked as she was drying her hair, ruffling it with a yellow towel. She was wearing nothing but a bathrobe. “Are you calling me names again?”

“No!” Taeyeon exclaimed nervously as she threw the battered pillow back in place. “Fix your bed!” She stood up and walked over to her side of the room and sat on her bed. Her roommate followed her, smiling at her. She continued to dry her hair, with her eyes set on Taeyeon. “What?” The girl just smiled and shrugged but remained silent. She then walked to her side of the room and looked for her clothes in her closet.

Taeyeon’s gaze remained on the blonde, there was nothing she could see but the girl that was in front of her. She didn’t like the feeling of wanting more from her roommate but she didn’t want to live without that feeling either. It was something complicated for Taeyeon. Her thoughts were halted by a buzzing noise. She grabbed her phone that was buzzing; there was a message on the screen, Alarm: Jessica’s First Class. “You’re gonna be late!”

Jessica looked at her and said, “It’s fine. I still need to fix my bed and clean the bathroom so you won’t be angry again.”

“No! Go get ready and I’ll clean for you.” Taeyeon knew where this was heading but she knew how important school was. Jessica turned her offer down but Taeyeon insisted. With a sigh, Jessica went in the bathroom and had gotten dressed.

As soon as Jessica reached for the door, she looked back and gave Taeyeon a warm smile, “Thank you.” she said and headed out. That smile sent electric waves through Taeyeon's body, making her complaints completely vanish. It had always been like that; just a simple smile from that slob could turn all her frustration into something so beautiful. A beautiful feeling that she wouldn’t live without. Taeyeon stood up from her bed and started cleaning.

 

*****

Taeyeon got out of the shower, feeling good now that she was squeaky clean and that their room was finally tidy. She even polished all the pieces of furniture to make them shine. She walked over to the sink and smiled but she couldn’t see her reflection because of the moist on the mirror. Instead of wiping it like usual, she drew a smile on the mirror just adjacent to her head. She started laughing at how silly it looked. She then wrote on it with big, visible letters, ’Pabo!’ 

Taeyeon opened the cabinet under the sink to get her toiletries just to find everything not in order. The items in there usually went from smallest to biggest, but there were some medium sized items in front and again, it peeved her. “Aish!” She hissed and started to put everything back in its order- of the same distance. It shouldn’t be hard to clean something, all that has to be done is cleaning every day so the dust won't build up and that’s what Taeyeon wanted everyone to do. This went beyond
Jessica; she wanted everyone she knew to be clean and organized just like her.

She may be angry now but the moment she would look in Jessica’s eyes, she was well aware that her heart would just know how to flutter and make those stupid butterflies in her stomach act up. Why did people even call it butterflies when it was blatantly far from being anything close to the likes of the insect?

When Taeyeon walked out of the bathroom, she noticed books were scattered on Jessica’s bed. Urgh! Taeyeon mentally grunted, annoyed by how those books weren’t  on the desk. “You seriously need to learn how to organize.” She said as she gathered the books. “How can you even manage to mess something up in less than an hour that you’ve been here?”

“I was studying.” Jessica said. “I’m sorry but I’m going to fix those when I’m done.”

Taeyeon sighed, “But you could always leave things where they belong so you wouldn’t have to fix a lot.” She tried to resist looking at Jessica but her eyes treacherously gaze over the blonde. She was wearing her thick black frames, making her look extra adorable. I’ll just clean for you… you look really tired. She thought but mentally slapped herself after she realized that the cycle was starting again.

A hand held Taeyeon’s wrist. “I’ll do it. I know I’m not the best roommate but when I say I’ll do it, I make sure I do.” Taeyeon felt as if her head was hammered.  She didn’t know how to react. There was no trace of bitterness in Jessica’s voice, but why did it sent her some weird sensation? “Now, why don’t you relax?” Taeyeon looked her in the eye.

So she isn’t mad at me?

This was the down side of their friendship. Some effects of those stupid feelings literally made her an idiot, confusing her. Was Jessica mad or not? Jessica pulled Taeyeon’s hand closer to her side, “Chat with me. We’ve been really busy that we rarely talk nowadays.” She pleaded. She patted the bed with her free hand, “I’m really tired that I can’t even move. I need someone to talk to. Please?”

Now how can I resist you?

“S- su- sure.” Taeyeon awkwardly took a seat on the bed. Jessica leaned back, relaxing on her pillow. They were both silent for a good minute before Taeyeon managed to speak, “So… how’s everything going?”

Jessica laughed heartily and Taeyeon didn’t understand what was funny. She was left dumbfounded and so she asked Jessica.  Jessica just shook her head and said, “Nothing. Nothing.”

Was Jessica laughing at her?

“Yah! How can it be nothing when you’re laughing so hard?” Taeyeon was a bit enraged.

Jessica just smiled at Taeyeon and that fury in Taeyeon’s heart just vanished. “I just remembered something.” Jessica answered as she finally stopped laughing and was able to catch her breath.

Curiosity grew in, "Really? What is it?"

“It’s been more than a year but you’re still awkward around me.” Jessica stopped and scooted next to Taeyeon, “How you’re acting now is as if we went back to when we first met.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t remember how awkward you were back then?”

Taeyeon placed both of her hands on her face, hiding and shaking her head. “No! No! I don’t even want to remember that!”

Jessica laughed again, “Why not? You don’t want to remember how you didn’t even ask for my name and just asked how the weather was? How you smiled.” Jessica mimicked Taeyeon’s weird smile, upper and lower teeth were showing and it really did look weird and awkward. “It was really amusing.”

“Yeah and that time, you laughed at me, too.”  Taeyeon pouted.

“I thought it was entertaining.”

“To you maybe but to me, it was just embarrassing! I want to forget about that day!” Taeyeon whined.

“So you’d want to forget the first time you met me?” Was it just Taeyeon or was there a trace of sadness in Jessica’s tone?

“No! No!” Taeyeon panicked, waving her hand in front of her. “I didn’t mean it that way!” Jessica laughed again and that gesture made Taeyeon upset, “Yah! Why are you laughing at me again?! Am I a clown or something?!”

“I just love it when you panic. It’s epic!”  Jessica wiped the tears that built up from the corner of her eye with the back of her index finger. “You should’ve seen yourself.”

Taeyeon rolled her eyes but she felt her cheeks get warmer, “Lunch time will end soon. I think we should go. It’s almost three.”

 

*****

Sooyoung was already in the cafeteria and Taeyeon walked over to her best friend with the tray of her food. “Are you on a diet?” Taeyeon asked as she looked at the plates in front of Sooyoung.

“Yeah, I’m cutting back.” Sooyoung sighed, “They have pizza today too, and I can’t even eat anymore.”

Taeyeon rolled her eyes, “You shouldn’t even eat that much. If you’re seriously cutting back, then just eat a plate full of food instead of two.” From the corner of her eye, she noticed a familiar figure. She knew that it was Jessica. The blonde was with her circle of friends. Those popular kids seemed really hard to befriend and Taeyeon wasn’t good at making new friends. It was actually surprising that she managed to be in good terms with Jessica; a couple of weeks after they had met.

There was a spark of hope in Taeyeon’s eyes as she noticed that Jessica was walking towards her way. Her gaze never left Jessica’s sight as she was approaching her, causing her to smile. She was happy that there would finally be an interaction between them outside of their room. Her smile got wider, her eyes bedazzled as Jessica got closer. “Hel---“ the blonde and her friends already passed Taeyeon as if her existence was never there, as if her voice was a mere whisper. The hope in Taeyeon’s heart vanished as she sighed it away. It had always been the case, Jessica ignoring her whenever she’s with her friends but Taeyeon never learned to accept that the Jessica in their dorm room and the Jessica outside of the room were two different people. It didn’t make sense to Taeyeon before. After so long, she got used to it; however, she still hoped for Jessica to treat her the same way as Jessica had been treating her inside the dorm. Like always, her hopes turned into huge disappointments.

“Again?” Sooyoung asked.

Taeyeon knew what Sooyoung meant by her question, “Yeah.” The disappointment in her tone was evident. Yet again, Jessica ignored her existence as if they were both strangers. Why couldn’t she even walk up to Jessica and greet her? The idea crossed Taeyeon’s mind but was never played into action. She heavily sighed again and Sooyoung just patted her shoulder.

“You know…” Sooyoung started and caught Taeyeon’s attention. Taeyeon looked at her with a confused look, “Why don’t you go on a group dat-“

“No!” Taeyeon flatly answered.

“I didn’t even finish yet!” Sooyoung rebutted.

“No!”

“This person really likes you! Would I ever set you up with someone you don’t like?”

Taeyeon raised her brow, “Remember that one time?” She asked as if the latter would understand her right away, “Your friend bribed you with food and you set me up with Hyungdon?!”

Sooyoung giggled awkwardly, “Come on! I’m one hundred percent positive that this person’s not fat, old, or ugly!”

Taeyeon rolled her eyes, “No!” She heard her alarm buzz and she knew it was time for her afternoon classes. She headed to her class.

Like always, she had been attentive in class and was interacting with her professor. Out of the thirty-one students in that class, only four were listening. The others were texting, on their laptops, or chatting. Their professor wasn’t strict so he just lets them be. Although it would be better if the students did pay attention because almost all the trivial matters that came from the professors mouth would most likely be on their finals.

The professor dismissed them and Taeyeon soon headed out but a call from her colleague stopped her. She turned around and saw a girl with short hair. If she remembered correctly, this girl sat behind her and her name was Eunjung. They formally greeted each other and Taeyeon asked if the latter needed anything from her and Enjung nodded. “I was wondering…” Taeyeon waited for the latter to finish the sentence. “Can you go on a date… with my friend?”

Taeyeon let out a sigh but politely turned down the invitation. She didn’t really want to be in any group or blind date. It was evident in Eunjung’s eyes that she was somehow disappointed but she couldn’t do anything. It was still Taeyeon’s choice. Someone called for Eunjung and so the latter bid her goodbye. If Taeyeon’s eyes weren’t playing tricks on her, the group of girls that Eunjung went to was Jessica’s peer.

 

*****

“You drew?” The question confused Taeyeon. She didn’t know what Jessica was talking about. As she was lying on her bed, she looked at Jessica with a wondering look. “The moist of your drawing from this morning showed after I just showered.” Jessica ruffled her hair with a towel, drying it. “It’s amusing to see a smiley face on a mirror when I tried to look at my reflection and the word ‘pabo’ beside it.”

“I—it’s still there?” Taeyeon stuttered.

“Well, yeah. If you draw something on a moistened mirror and it moistens again, it will still show.” Jessica then smiled, “Was I the pabo? I bent down a little just for the face to fit my neck.” She started laughing again and Taeyeon wondered why.

Taeyeon sighed, “You always laugh at me.” Every time they conversed with each other, it always involved with Jessica laughing out of nowhere and that somehow bugged Taeyeon. They couldn’t even have a decent conversation outside of their dorm room; she still couldn’t have it inside their dorm room. But she somehow managed to accept that fact.

“Why? You don’t like it when I laugh?” Taeyeon didn’t expect that question from Jessica. She usually just laughed or shrugged, this was something new to Taeyeon but before she could even answer, Jessica then continued with a smile on her face, “What are you doing tomorrow?”

Taeyeon was taken aback by Jessica’s sudden change of the topic. She just looked at the blonde and answered, “Just the usual. I’m sure it’ll be boring.”

“Oh? No dates?” Jessica took a seat on Taeyeon’s bed, “And here I thought you would be on a date tomorrow.”

“What made you think that?” Taeyeon asked, annoyed by the situation. The person she loved was asking her if she was going on a date, which told her a lot.

Jessica just shook her head, “I just thought that a regular college student would be out on a date.” Jessica laughed again, “I guess you’re not really ‘regular’.”

Taeyeon narrowed her gaze on Jessica, “Whatever” she then pouted. “Wait, if you’re so regular, are you going on a date tomorrow?”

Jessica shrugged with a smile on, “Maybe.”

Mix emotions occupied Taeyeon. A part of her was happy that Jessica smiled at her and a part of her was disappointed to know that the person she loved may or may not be out on a date tomorrow, which means she would be alone for the rest of the night and Jessica may fall in love with this stranger she’s meeting. “So you do have plans?”

“Most likely.” She then scooted really close to Taeyeon, “Why don’t you go out tomorrow? You might even meet a good looking guy…or girl. Whatever floats your boat.” Taeyeon couldn’t really decipher if it was a joke or not. Jessica wasn’t smiling or anything that could hint that it was a joke.

“I’m sure ‘whatever floats my boat’ wouldn’t be there.” Taeyeon sighed. How she wished that she and Jessica could be out on a date tomorrow but she knew it wouldn’t be possible.

“How would you know?”

“I just do.”

“You like someone?”

Taeyeon just honestly said the truth, “Yes, I do.” Jessica wasn’t looking her way and she could only see the Jessica’s side, “She’s amazing.”

“I guess I’ll be going on a date tomorrow,” she then looked at Taeyeon, “She must be really amazing. I wish someone amazing would look my way. So by then, I wouldn’t have to go on dates with strangers.” Jessica mumbled something that Taeyeon couldn’t understand after that.

In order to keep the conversation flowing, Taeyeon asked Jessica. “What’s your ideal type?” She wanted to ask Jessica this question but never had the chance to do so. This was perfect timing.

Taeyeon pleaded to whoever was in charge of this thing called fate, to whoever was listening to make her Jessica’s ideal person. It would be the best thing if Taeyeon was Jessica’s ideal person.

“I don’t have one.” Jessica smiled as if she saw something pleasant, “I just know if they’re the one.”

The disappointment was there but Taeyeon couldn’t voice it out. She nodded and remained silent. What else could she do besides wish for that ideal person to be her?

“You should go out tomorrow. Maybe we’ll both end up with that right person. You never know.”

Taeyeon shrugged, “I’m on on-call. They might need me at work tomorrow.”

“Oh?” Jessica questioned as she got up of the bed, “You might work tomorrow?” Taeyeon simply nodded and so Jessica continued, “Then you should sleep now.”

“Why? You don’t want to talk to me anymore?” Taeyeon wanted Jessica to be beside her longer. She may be with someone else tomorrow and Taeyeon hated the idea, but right now, she wanted to be selfish. She knew that Jessica’s attention was only hers when they are inside their room. “I’m not sleepy yet.” It wasn’t something usual for Taeyeon to do. She wouldn’t really be the first one to initiate something between them but there was worry in her. What if Jessica did find someone whom she liked in that stupid date tomorrow? What if Jessica gets fed up and left her for all her naggings? There were countless of possibilities that ran in Taeyeon’s head but one thing was for sure, the desire for her to be with Jessica grew bigger by the second. The greed of wanting Jessica to be her partner was inevitably there. Was it simply greed? Or was it love? Only Taeyeon could truly answer.

Jessica smiled at her but there was no reply. Jessica remained silent as she smiled at Taeyeon. Did she not want to converse with Taeyeon any longer? Was this the point where Taeyeon should give up and raise her white flag? Maybe so.  But she wanted to yank Jessica’s hand and tell her that she was madly in love with her; to be beside her from then onwards. However, her stubborn self wouldn’t allow her to do that.

“S---“

“Actually, I’m tired!” Taeyeon didn’t bother to let Jessica finish her words. She just suddenly lay on her bed and covered herself under her comforter. “Goodnight.” She said as tears were building in her eyes; quickly wiping it with the back of her hand.

Why are my tears falling?!

“Oh…” There was a long pause. “Good night.”

Taeyeon was questioning herself on why she was crying and she believed that it was because of Jessica. It had always been Jessica. Jessica’s feelings. Jessica’s actions. Actually, she would blame those tears on Jessica just because she, herself, was very indecisive. She couldn’t decide if she should confess or not. She didn’t want to blame herself and Jessica’s there to be blamed, and that was what she was doing. Why was Jessica being blamed for her cowardly actions anyway? Like always, only Taeyeon knew.

 

*****

The familiar ringtone woke Taeyeon up. She searched for her phone, patting the side of the bed where she usually left her phone. She pressed the green button, “Hello?”

“Taeyeon,” It was her boss’ familiar voice-raspy “we need you to come in today.”

“What time?” Taeyeon sleepily asked.

“Two through Eight.”

“What time is it?”

“Uhhh… twelve.”

Taeyeon sighed, thinking she only has another half an hour to sleep. “Okay.”

Before Taeyeon was able t o slip off to dreaming, “Are you working today?” Jessica asked.

“Yeah…” Taeyeon was still half asleep.

“Oh, I’ll just blow dry my hair in Tiffany’s room then. Sleep tight.” Taeyeon heard the door shut.

That’s right… she has a date today. Just by having thoughts of Jessica and her date caused Taeyeon’s heart to tighten. She wanted to be on that date with Jessica but she knew it was impossible. She was in bed and would be working soon, while Jessica was probably very excited to meet her date. Taeyeon clenched her teeth, not wanting to accept the obvious reality. Well, maybe Jessica didn’t really leave the room? Maybe she just shut the door? She thought mindlessly. Why was there hope when it was clear that Jessica already left? “Whatever. I’ll just shower.”  She got up, holding her stuffed yellow rabbit, Haruka. She looked from side to side, like expected, Jessica was no longer in the room. She threw Haruka straight to Jessica’s bed as hard as she could. “Go on a date if you want! Go fall in love with someone else if you want! Go! You do things on your own anyway!” Even Taeyeon was startled with her own actions. She knew she was frustrated but Jessica wasn’t there to even hear her complains. Or was it the very reason she could be true to herself? Jessica wasn’t there so her coward self could freely express what she wanted. “Pabo.” Taeyeon didn’t know who she referred to: she or Jessica?

Taeyoen quickly took a shower and got ready. She decided to just go to work earlier than usual since she got nothing better to do. Realizing that her day to day was actually plain, she couldn’t help but pity herself. She sighed and headed to work.

 

*****

“Hi Taeyeon!” A tall, tanned girl greeted her with a smile on her face. She was standing by the bulletin board and was tying her hair up.

Taeyeon smiled back, “Hello Yuri,” whenever Taeyeon worked; it gave her enough reason to get out of the dorm once in awhile. “Do we have the same shift?”

Yuri looked at the schedule in front of her, “Yes. Although I’m the one staying for closing and you get to leave at eight.”

“That’s what boss told me earlier. Glad he didn’t lie to me and I’ll end up closing. He also did that to Sooyoung last week.”

Yuri laughed, “Yeah, he really should stop tricking us.” Yuri stopped laughing, “You don’t look too good. Your eyes are read and puffed. Are you sick?”

Taeyeon suddenly looked away, “No. I just didn’t get enough sleep.”

Yuri smiled a little, “Cleaned for your beloved again?”

“No! Like I’d clean for that pabo, good-for-nothing girl!” Yuri laughed again and Taeyeon didn’t understand why. People tend to laugh at her all the time whenever she spoke. “Yah! Stop laughing at me.”

Yuri shook her head, reached her hand out and was still laughing. “You’re just too cute sometimes.”

Taeyeon flushed, “Cute?! No!” But if Jessica really did laugh at her thinking that she was cute, she realized she didn’t mind. She then mumbled, “I wish that’s what people think when they actually laugh at me.”

Yuri raised her brow, “People?” She paused and then smirked, “Or Jessica?”

“P---People!” Taeyeon stormed out of the backroom and headed for the cash register where they clock-in.

Business wasn’t all that good. The owner and all employees knew that very well. Who would want to go to Tropical Smoothie during this cold weather?

With very little things to occupy Taeyeon, she couldn’t help but think of Jessica.  Taeyeon didn’t get a chance to see how Jessica looked like so she was wondering whether or not Jessica dressed up for this date. Taeyeon was hoping that the latter didn’t but knowing Jessica, she probably dressed up flamboyantly.  Realizing this fact, Jessica never really ‘dressed up’ for Taeyeon’s sake. Jessica never really made herself up for Taeyeon or took an effort to look good for Taeyeon and upon realizing this, her heart sank.

Taeyeon thought it was pretty stupid to even bother about that fact; however, she couldn’t really help but feel isolated. As if she was something of no importance to Jessica and the only reason Jessica talked to her was because they were roommates.

She tried to stop her thoughts as she was working but it seemed like those thoughts were unstoppable. It kept on invading her. Luckily, the manager spoke, “Taeyeon, our labor percentage is really high, which is really bad. Do you mind if I send you home early? I think Yuri and I can handle the store.”

“Sure… do you want me to clock out now?” Taeyeon looked at the clock on the wall in front of her and it was almost seven in the evening.

The owner shook his head, “In about fifteen minutes. I just need to go to the store and when I get back you can leave. Can you guys handle the store?”

Taeyeon nodded, “Of course. We’re not busy so we don’t really need that much people on the line.”

“Thanks!” He bid and headed to the back door.

Taeyeon walked to the back and noticed that Yuri was talking to herself. Again. When she got closer, she finally heard what Yuri was murmuring, “Customers should stay home. They shouldn’t come here. Smoothies are bad for you during this weather.”

Taeyeon heard Yuri’s chants once again. She rolled her eyes and slapped Yuri’s shoulder, “Yah! If we don’t have customers, we wouldn’t have this job.”

Yuri had a worried expression and chanted again, “Smoothies are yummy. Customers should drink it,” chanting it again and again. A bell rang, indicating that someone entered the store.

“Are your chants really that effective?” They both walked behind the counter.

“Hi, how are y---“ Taeyeon couldn’t finish her words. Were her eyes playing tricks on her or was it really Jessica that walked in?

“Hi!” Someone greeted and caused Taeyeon to stop her inner thoughts. She looked to the person beside Jessica and if she remembered correctly, that girl was Tiffany.

“Hello, what are we having?” Yuri asked for their order.

“What is your most popular one?” Tiffany asked.

“Our most popular one…” Yuri paused and looked at Taeyeon, “It’s the Jetty, right?” Taeyeon simply nodded; her eyes were now set on Jessica, who was looking at the menu. “It’s a combination of strawberries and bananas.”

Why can’t you greet me?! Taeyeon mentally asked Jessica; however, that question would forever be unknown.

“Awwwe.” Tiffany then linked arms with Jessica. The gesture created knots inside Taeyeon’s stomach. “They even named a smoothie after us. That’s soo sweet. ‘Je’ for Jessica and ‘tty’ for me.” Tiffany then looked at Yuri, “We’ll take two.”

“Okay. I’ll get that ready.”

“Taeyeon?” Tiffany asked.

“E-eh?”

“I didn’t know that you work here.” She looked at Taeyeon and flashed a smile; her teeth were showing. “We’re totally not stalking you.” She then wrapped her arm around Jessica’s shoulder, pulling her closer and patting Jessica really hard.

Jessica then looked at Tiffany, glaring. “What the hell are you on about?”

“Nothing. I was just telling Taeyeon that this is pure coincidence. That none of this was planned.” Tiffany’s smile became more relaxed.

Teayeon wanted Jessica to notice her and show those different expressions to her, but it never seemed to happen. Those expressions were mostly for Tiffany or their friends.

“Ho—how did the date go?” Taeyeon was looking on the floor.

“It was totally fun!” Tiffany answered. “This girl was---“ Tiffany’s cell phone began ringing and so she picked up and walked away.

“It’ll be Nine-Twenty two.”

Jessica reached out her debit card.

Why is it so awkward? Taeyeon asked herself. It was the first time that she had spoken with Jessica out of their dorm and it was somewhat uncomfortable. Where is talkative Tiffany anyway?!

“Jessica,” Tiffany called from the door, “I need to go. My ride is here.”

Jessica simply nodded once and then took her debit card on the counter.

“Tiffany! How about your smoothie?!” Taeyeon bellowed.

Tiffany winked, “You can have it. Jetty for TaeSic huh?” she then ran out.

TaeSic?! Taeyeon flushed.

“I---I’m sorry.” Jessica looked away as she spoke those words. “My best friend’s retarded. She likes combining names.”

Oh… they’re best friends.

Taeyeon couldn’t help but smile. Somehow, her day was getting better. Why was it like this? Whenever she cried, she would blame it on Jessica. Whenever she smiled, it would still be because of Jessica. “I---it’s fine. No harm.” She actually liked it. Very much.

“Oh, Taeyeon you can clock-out now.” Yuri said as she was carrying the smoothies. “Boss is already in the back.” She handed the smoothies to Jessica. “Enjoy!”

“Thank you.” Jessica said and then looked at Taeyeon, “You’re leaving now?”

“Y-yeah.” Taeyeon clocked out.

“You want to ride with me?”

“Oh, ma’am, we don’t tolerate it when customers ask those kinds of questions.” Yuri said; her tone was firm.

“She’s my roommate.” Jessica smiled at Yuri coolly, melting Taeyeon’s heart.

“You’re the Jessica?!” In astonishment, Yuri couldn’t help but exclaim her words.

“The Jessica?” Jessica asked and then looked at Taeyeon, “You’re talking about me?”

“Yes!” Yuri said. “She said yo—“ Taeyeon then placed her hand over Yuri’s mouth, covering it.

“Let me guess, she called me stupid, bum, and lazy huh?” Jessica kept her smile on and it wasn’t as if she was offended. It was actually as if she was having fun.

Yuri was nodding and Taeyeon shoved her towards the back room. “Go clean something!”

“I’ll wait for you here while you get your things.”

Taeyeon simply nodded as she looked down. She just couldn’t face Jessica right now; she could feel that she was blushing and she didn’t want Jessica to see that. She gathered her things, wore her coat, and bid her goodbyes to Yuri and her boss. Yuri responded with thumbs up and was winking at her. You’re such a dork.

“Ready?” Jessica asked as Taeyeon approached her and she then handed her the drink.

Taeyeon nodded and they both headed to Jessica’s car. “It’s freezing.” Jessica said; fog came out of . They got in the car, placed the drinks in the cup holder, and Jessica started the engine. It was Taeyeon’s first time in Jessica’s car and she couldn’t help but notice the books that were scattered on the back seat.

“You should seriously tidy up.” Her instinct took over; she couldn’t lock her meticulous-clean freak self up and voiced her opinion. “You should put those books in your shelf.”

Jessica laughed as she turned the heater on. “I will. Those mid-term exams just really killed me last week so it’s hard to keep things tidy.”

The windows began to moisten and so, Jessica turned the centralize air on. The wind shield began to clear up but the side windows were still moistened. Jessica drew on the window beside her; it was a smiley face. “I love it when I draw on this, it’ll show again the next time it moistens. It’s simply a wonder.”

“Yeah… it’s pretty amazing.”

Jessica began driving while Taeyeon began writing on the window, ‘sarang’ she started. But as soon as she realized that Jessica was just beside her, she erased it.

“You’re very lucky that your work is really close to the university. It’s less than two minutes drive.”

“It’s really nice to earn for myself on top of what my parents sends me.”

“That’s really nice. You keep your grades above average, too. So that’s good.”

“Listening in class is enough and simple outlines.”

Taeyeon realized that Jessica already parked the car and they were already in front of their dorm. Had it really been two minutes? It felt as though time stopped for Taeyeon while they were in the car. When she realized that they were in university grounds; she feared that Jessica’s actions may be like how she treated her before-cold. Jessica turned off the engine “Let’s go,” she said as she took her drink.

Taeyeon didn’t want to get off the car but she knew she had to. They walked towards the dormitory without exchanging words. It seemed as though Taeyeon couldn’t convey her words. As they passed the halls, some students greeted Jessica just like expected. Popular kids always had this kind of treatment.

They reached their room without even a single exchange of words and this worried Taeyeon. She was hoping that since they started talking earlier, it meant that they would always converse with each other outside of their dorm. However, that wasn’t the case. There was a sting in her eyes but she decided to brush it off. There was no point of crying now. They both made a huge step. By the end of the day, she couldn’t really be sad since she was able to talk to Jessica and ride Jessica’s car.

“Oh!” Jessica exclaimed, “Why is Haruka here?” she was holding the stuffed yellow rabbit by the arm that Taeyeon threw earlier.

Taeyeon panicked. How could she bring herself to confess about the incident this afternoon? “I don’t know.”

Jessica smiled a little and it suddenly grew bigger, “Oh, I see. She walked by herself.” she concluded.

Taeyeon played along and said, “Yes she did. She saw how messy your side is so she wanted to clean it.” For some odd reason, she laughed like an ahjumma. She really thought it was funny and couldn’t help but laugh so much. “She cleaned it,” she repeated and laughed again.

Jessica pouted, “I did clean.”

Taeyeon stopped laughing upon seeing Jessica’s pout. The gesture was unbelievably cute and she wanted to go there and hug Jessica; however, she still had the sense of reality. Blushing, “Sure, sure,” she said and walked towards her bed, avoiding eye contact.

“I did!” Jessica whined. Was it just Taeyeon or did it seem like their roles were actually switched? “Anyway, did you eat yet?”

Taeyeon shook her head. "Do you wanna go down to the cafetria and eat?"

Taeyeon watched Jessica walk towards her bed before replying. "Nah, I'm too tired. Let’s just order something online. You can choose."

"How about pizza?" Taeyeon suggested. She knew Pizza was Jessica's favorite and seeing how Jessica had let her choose the food for once, she wasn't about to let this chance go without scoring a point in Jessica’s good books.

Jessica nodded her head tiredly before proceeding to close her eyes. Taeyeon took the silence as Jessica agreeing with her and quickly turned her laptop on. Having Pizzahut as a bookmark made it easier for Taeyeon to order their pizza quickly making sure to order the Italian special, Jessica’s favorite.

Putting her laptop on standby, Taeyeon quietly placed her laptop on her desk and moved towards Jessica’s bed. She picked up Jessica’s blanket and attempted to cover the girl before Jessica’s voice startled her.

"I'm not asleep."

"Ooh..." she took a step back, dropping the blanket in the process. She watched Jessica sit up on her bed and picked up the blanket, placing it next to her on the bed. "So..."

"So?"

"Um... How was your date?"

"It was okay, I guess." Jessica yawned.

"D-Did you have fun?"

"You can say that." Another yawn escaped Jessica's mouth.

"You seem really tired."

"I told you I was tired already."

"Why don't you sleep then?" Taeyeon suggested.

"Because I'm hungry."

"Didn't you eat during your date?"

"Nah, we didn't have time for that."

"Is that why you and Tiffany came to my work?" Taeyeon asked. "You know you shouldn't drink a sm-"

Jessica lounged comfortably as she faced Taeyeon."Nah, it wasn't because of that."

"Then why did you come?" Taeyeon asked cautiously, not allowing herself to over think the situation.

"Because Tiffany wanted to.”

"Why?" Taeyeon wondered.

"Because she wanted to meet you."

Taeyeon watched Jessica sigh and she hesitated to ask her next question. Jessica already seemed bothered enough by her but she couldn't stop the words from escaping . "Why did she want to meet me?"

"Because..."

"Yeah?"

"Because she wanted to?" Jessica said again in a suggestive tone.

"Huh? 'Because she wanted to' what does that mean?"

"Okay! Maybe I said some stuff…"Jessica trailed her sentence.

"What kind of stuff?"

"Just random stuff, you know?"

"Sica!"

"Tae,"

"Sica, what did you tell Tiffany?"

"Nothi-"

"Sica!"

"Maybe that you stress and nag just a little when I don't clean."

"What?! You told her that?"

"I said a little."

"Yeah right. Seriously, why would you do that?"

"Because it's tr-"

"You made me sound like I have OCD."

"You do though." Jessica murmured.

"That's not the point! No wonder she gave me that look earlier."

"What look?"

"That's not the point! No wonder she gave me that look earlier."

"What look?"

"That look. Like her eyes disappeared when she gave me that wicked smile. I knew there wa-"

"She was smiling at you." Jessica chuckled listening to Taeyeon's weird mumbling about the way Tiffany looked at her.

"Huh?"

"She was smiling at you. Tiffany's eyes disappear when she smiles at people."

"She was?"

"Yeah." she laughed. "That's why people call her the 'Eye smiling queen'."

"Is it? I never heard of that nickname. Are you trying to trick me, Jessica?" Taeyeon glared at Jessica before pouting. "Oi! Stop laughing at me. I said stop laughing! It's not funny!"

"It is. Wait until I tell Tiffany about this."

"What? You can't tell her!"

"Why not? She’s my best friend and I'm sure she'll find it funny."

"It's not funny." Taeyeon pouted again. "It's not my fault she looked like she was giving me a weird look."

"You think she looked weird? People always compliment Tiffany about her smile. They think it's beautiful."

"Do you think it's beautiful?" Taeyeon wondered if Jessica thought of it as such. She wanted to know what type of girl Jessica liked and this is a good chance to know.

"Yeah, don't you?"

"Nah, I think yours is better." Taeyeon mumbled.

"You do?"

"Huh?"

"You just said you think my smile is better than Tiffany's"

"I didn't say that."

"Yes, you did. I heard you."

"Well you heard wrong."

"So you don't think I have a nice smile."

"No! That's not what I meant!"

"So I do have a nice smile?"

"Maybe you do." Taeyeon shrugged, trying to play it cool.

"Yeah?" Jessica said challengingly. "Okay. Maybe you have a nice smile too."

"You think?"

"Maybe even a gorgeous smile, who knows?" Jessica shrugged.

"You seriously think so?"

"I don't know. You tell me?" Jessica said, muffling a yawn with the back of her hand. There was s knock on their door. "Anyway, open the door."

"Answer my question."

"Just answer the door.”

"Why should I? And you didn't answer my question."

"If I say yes, would you open the door?"

"Yes."

"Open the door then."

"Is that a yes?" Taeyeon asked.

"What do you think?"

"Aren't you hungry? Just answer my question so that I can open the door.”

"It's not like I'm stopping you."

"Jessica!" Taeyeon whined.

"Ok fine."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yeah. Just open the door. Money is in my purse." With all smiles, Taeyeon got up and headed towards the door, opening it.

“Could you please sign this?” A teenage guy asked as he handed Taeyeon’s order and the receipt was on top of the box. It was handy that they have online payments now and they only needed to sign the paper. No need looking for change.

"Oi, aren't you going to eat?" Jessica called out after Taeyeon handed her the pizza box as she was seated in their tiny dining room. It was a small place where they eat so that makes it their dining room.

"Nah, I’m not hungry." Taeyeon said as she lay on her bed, failing to suppress the smile that graced her lips.

"Suit yourself."
 

*****

I’ve fallen for you, Jessica

Taeyeon was staring at the moistened mirror; there proudly spelled her feelings for Jessica.

Maybe I should erase it?

She then grabbed a wash cloth and glass cleaner inside the linen cabinet. She was ready to wipe it clean; however, she was hesitating. She was finally able to write her feelings down and it was an obvious way for Jessica to know. Was it really the right time to let her feelings known?

But if she stopped now, when could she ever muster up the courage to confess again and in what way? She had always confessed to Jessica through her mind, imagining perfect scenarios. She had thought of asking Jessica out to the movies; just a casual date; but this was too common. She wanted Jessica to have a special experience.

She even thought of becoming more romantic and spread rose petals inside their dorm; however, knowing how much mess it would cause she took that option right away.

Writing something on a moistened glass seemed like magic, like a hidden message… was it really the right way to express her feelings? Or was it even the right time to confess? But when would she?

Taeyeon placed her hand on the mirror, ready to erase it. But she couldn’t move her hand. She wouldn’t let herself.  Sighing, she removed her hand. “She did say she likes my smile... that’s something, right?” She mumbled, trying to convince herself.

She placed her and on the same spot, sliding it towards the letters. However, she stopped just about a centimeter away from the first word.

With her hand on the mirror, she stared at it until the moist was slowly disappearing.

“Taeyeon! You’ll be late for work!” Jessica warned from outside the bathroom door.

“Yeah! I’ll be out soon!” She hurried and put her things back to where it should be. She held on the door and looked back at the mirror. The message was still faintly there. She dashed out the door; her face was unreadable.  

Jessica was on her usual spot; the bed. “Don’t bother cleaning the bathroom. Okay?”

With her headsets on, she just waved her hand, shooing Taeyeon. “Yeah. Yeah. Go to work.”

*****

“What?! You confessed!?” Sooyoung was astounded when Taeyeon told her about what happened earlier that day before work. “But isn’t it better to do it in person? I mean, just think about it. Why a note?” Sooyoung asked as she just stood behind Taeyeon, who was washing the dishes.

“Because… I… I couldn’t really…” Taeyeon couldn’t finish what she had to say.

“It’s hard to confess in person, too.” She said as she her chin, “I don’t think I’d ever confess to anyone. So I’ll give it to you.”

“I don’t know what to feel though.”

Sooyoung cocked her head, “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Taeyeon started and dropped the sponge. “I want to know her reaction but I’m scared and excited at the same time. Have you ever had that feeling before?” But before Sooyoung could even open , Taeyeon continued, “I’ll be really happy beyond words if she actually feels the same way but…”

“But?”

Taeyeon frowned, “What if she doesn’t?”

Sooyoung sighed; the idealist in her couldn’t help but feel annoyed that her friend, who was older than her, could be so naïve, “If she doesn’t, then she doesn’t. You can’t really gain something without gambling, right?” No reply came from Taeyeon so she repeated once more, “Right?”

“Right…” Taeyeon mumbled.

To lift Taeyeon’s feelings up, Sooyoung then said, “Come to think of it, what if she does like you too?” Without getting any reaction from Taeyeon, Sooyoung continued, “You’ll be doing a lot of byun stuff at night!” She started laughing. “Jessica, beware of Byuntae!”

Taeyeon couldn’t help but smile and then suddenly laughed like an ahjumma, “You ert! I’m not like you!” and jokingly added, “Though I wouldn’t mind!”

Sooyoung was laughing along with her. Their conversation was halted as customers walked in the door.

The day went by swiftly since for some reason, people decided to drink smoothie during this cold weather. That didn’t give Sooyoung and Taeyeon to talk about the situation more.

On her way home, Taeyeon couldn’t help but think of the possibilities. Sooyoung already told her to just think positively for some reason. Taeyeon couldn’t change the fact that she already confessed.

Jessica’s not the type to hate others. What’s to be worried about? She tried to convince herself and for some odd reason, it worked.

She reached for the doorknob; “Jessica?” there was tremor in her voice.

There was no trace of Jessica in their room and everything was left how it should be. Jessica’s bed was made, there were no trash anywhere. It was completely tidy. Taeyeon sighed after she realized she got hyped for nothing.

Taeyeon decided to wait for Jessica so they could both grab dinner together. She lay down on her bed; thoughts of Jessica invaded her mind. With a smile on, she drifted to sleep.




“Sssh! Taeyeon’s already sleeping!” Taeyeon woke up to Jessica’s voice. “You should really leave now!”

“Not until you tell me you love me, Jessi!” Judging from the voice, Jessica and this girl were talking by the door.

“Shut up. You’re disturbing everyone.”

“Why did this happen to me?” The voice sounded like she was crying. Could it had been Tiffany? Taeyeon had not spoken to her that much to be familiar with her voice. “I don’t deserve this kind of treatment, right?”

Taeyeon heard Jessica sighing as she was covered by her comforter. She couldn’t bring herself to move. “You’re so drunk.” Jessica said. “Want me to take you to your room?” Taeyeon heard the door shut.

She decided to sleep again. She had been moving a couple of times; it had already been more than an hour. Her patience was growing thin. Why couldn’t she sleep?

Taeyeon was looking at the wall clock, but wasn’t really seeing the time. She then moved her gaze to the window and noticed that the sun has risen. She decided to take a shower. Jessica’s clothes from yesterday were still there and it was obvious that Jessica didn’t bother cleaning up after showering. Taeyeon got in the shower and had a warm bath. After that warm, nice bath, Taeyeon got out and saw her confession.

So you did see it. Taeyeon thought.

There was a knock on the door, “Taeyeon! We’ll be late for class!” She forgot to set her alarm clock last night, and was now late for her first class. Taeyeon hurried and gathered her things. She then dashed out without doing what she usually does; glance to Jessica’s side of the room.

“Let’s go.” She said to Sooyoung, who was on the phone.

While walking towards class, Taeyeon saw Jessica with her group of friends. There was a spark of hope in Taeyeon’s heart again. She was in the dark for so long and Jessica’s sight lit that spark. Taeyeon’s smile was slowly forming on her face as Jessica and she had eye contact. Her heart started to pound like crazy and this feeling was welcomed by Taeyeon with open arms. “H---“ Before she could even finish her sentence, Jessica looked away. When Taeyeon got closer, Jessica started to walk towards the other direction.

Taeyeon’s heart fell; her chest tightened on the spot. She shot her eyes tight and held on to Sooyoung’s hand, gripping it. Her other hand was holding her binder. Sooyoung looked back at Taeyeon, “What happened?!” She stopped her pace and panicked.

Taeyeon just shook her head and said, “We’ll be late for class.”

“I need to go.” Sooyoung pressed the red button on her cell phone. “You have to tell me what’s wrong.” Sooyoung got the same gesture from Taeyeon. She knew that she should give her best friend some space as she finally noticed tears were spilling from Taeyeon’s eyes.

Sighing, Sooyoung decided to not prey on Taeyeon’s business at that moment and just led her to their first class.

 

*****

“Hi Taeyeon.” Jessica greeted as she walked in the room.

Taeyeon looked at her from her bed. She nodded once and went back to reading her book. It had been days since she confessed her feelings to Jessica and since that day Jessica once again ignored her. Tayeoen grew tired of creating this false hope she always tried to make herself feel. How she deluded herself to thinking that Jessica would one day acknowledge her existence outside of their stupid room.

She felt the cushion sink. She didn’t bother to look since there could only be one reason for the cushion to droop, and that was Jessica. She continued on reading The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom, but she couldn’t truly comprehend the content of the text. Her mind was wandering off as she was well aware that the person she loved, and now hated was sitting by her leg. She caught herself peeking from her book and was caught by Jessica gaze. It was the first eye contact they’ve made since that day in the hallway. She quickly looked away, trying to pretend that she was reading.

“Taeyeon,” Jessica started, and as soon as she did, Taeyeon sat up and stood up.

Taeyeon gave Jessica a bitter smile, “What?” She asked as she headed towards her closet and grabbed fresh set of clothes.

“Did I do something wrong?” Asked Jessica.

Taeyeon scoffed softly to let her frustration out. She looked at Jessica, “No. You completely didn’t do anything wrong.” Her tone was hinted with sarcasm. “I’m going out.”

“Do you mind if I tag along?”

Yes!

“No, but I’m not sure where I’m heading since I’m just going out with some friends.” Taeyeon lied. Friends? What friends was she talking about? Since Jessica paid little attention to her, she was hoping that Jessica would buy her lie.

Jessica smiled softly, “I see.” Was all she said as she walked towards her side of the room, grabbing her purse as she headed out without any other spoken words. Were Taeyeon’s imaginations running wild for thinking that Jessica was sad? Could she really think that Jessica was somewhat upset? Jessica did smile at her, but she couldn’t truly comprehend if that was a smile of sadness or not.

“What do I care?” She muttered to herself. She wanted to forget about her feelings for Jessica. How could she stop when she kept thinking about her? “Remember how much you hurt because of her.” Trying to convince herself to remember the pain was Taeyeon’s way to keep her heart to herself. She didn’t want Jessica to be part of it any longer. She didn’t want her heart to be played by someone she never really had.

She knew that Jessica caused her heartaches and she no longer wanted to be someone who could be hurt by someone who never really looked at her. She realized that she had been hurting for a person who didn’t really want her, who was never really hers.

Sooyoung knocked on the door, and Taeyeon greeted her. “Let’s go grab something to eat for dinner.”

Great timing.

Taeyeon agreed, grabbed her bag, and they both headed to the cafeteria without bothering to invite Jessica along.

“Gosh I’m so hungry!” Sooyoung exclaimed as she sat down with two full plates on her hand. “Why am I on a diet anyway?!” she said as if she didn’t really plan this diet.

Taeyeon simply rolled her eyes and took the seat in front of Sooyoung. They were silently eating, and for Sooyoung’s case, devouring their respective meals.

“Hello,” it was a cheerful tone. “Sooyoung, why weren’t you with us yesterday?” Taeyeon looked up just to see Tiffany there.

Sooyoung laughed, “I was working with Taeyeon since one of the girls we worked with called out.”

Tiffany nodded and then looked straight at Taeyeon, “Hello Tae!” said Tiffany in a friendly tone. “How are you?”

“Fine. Yourself?”

Tiffany shrugged, “Okay. My friends just keep on whining every time. It’s hard to act the most mature. I sometimes just want to smack them on the head and say ‘You should just tell them what you feel!’”

Taeyeon ignored Tiffany. It had nothing to do with her, and so she decided to just nod and went back to eating. Sooyoung stood up and followed Tiffany. Taeyeon wondered; it was rare for Sooyoung to stop eating once she started. Despite the peculiar move from Sooyoung, Taeyeon decided to not stick her head in her best friend’s business.

After a couple of bites, Taeyeon decided to continue on reading. She grabbed the paperback novel in her handbag and started reading.

“Hello,” Taeyeon heard a familiar voice. She was sure that it was just her imagination so she paid no attention to it and continued on reading.

She felt the table move, causing the glass of overflowing soda to spill a little. “Sooyoung!” She glared at the girl in front of her; however, it wasn’t her best friend. “Wha---what are you doing here?!” Taeyeon exclaimed in surprise.

Jessica smiled at her, “Can’t I be here? This is public domain, you know?”

“You can watch the table for Sooyoung. I’ll take my leave.” She hurried, gathering all her things together. It was more like she was in a panic and was throwing her things in her handbag. “Thanks!” She bid as she stood up and walked away only to find herself stopped by a grip on her hand.

She looked over her shoulder and it was Jessica. She tried to play it cool and asked, “You need something?” nonchalantly.

“Yes.” Jessica’s eyes were fixated on Taeyeon’s.

“Can’t this wait? We can talk inside the room like always.” There was a tint of bitterness in her tone. Taeyeon didn’t bother waiting. She broke off from Jessica’s grip and walked out of the cafeteria as soon as possible.

There was that sensation. That familiar sensation she usually felt whenever Jessica held her, which just told her that her feelings were still somehow there. She didn’t want these feelings any longer. She knew that if she kept these feelings, she would end up hurt again and who would want to be hurt over and over again? Well, at least not Taeyeon.

“Taeyeon, wait!” Jessica was just right behind her.

Taeyeon wanted to run, but her feet were glued to the floor. Something just couldn’t let her walk out on Jessica.

“Is there something wrong?” Jessica asked.

No sh*t! You broke my heart, you jerk!

“Nothing’s wrong.” Taeyeon shrugged, and then started walking again until she was halted by Jessica’s grip.

“I feel like you’ve been avoiding me.” Jessica furrowed.

Good thing that you know! I am avoiding you!

Taeyeon shrugged once again. “We have different schedules. It’s not like I just go out of my way to avoid you.” Taeyeon lied. She had been going out of her way just to avoid unnecessary contact to Jessica. “We don’t have to be together all the time.” There was no reply coming from Jessica; her grip on Taeyeon was easing up. “We rarely talk anyway so there’s not much difference. I need to g---“

“Yes there is!” Jessica finally said something after being silent for so long.

“Huh?”

“There is a difference!” She tightened her hold on Taeyeon as she continued, “I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. You’re clearly avoiding me. Every time we meet eye to eye, you look away. Every time I try to talk to you, you’d say you’re busy! Who are you kidding when you said you weren’t avoiding me!?”

Did Jessica just snap?

The building frustrations from Jessica’s jargons just provoked Taeyeon’s anger. “Why!? Aren’t you like that too?!” She pulled out of Jessica’s tight grip but failed to do so. “You try to ignore me! You don’t bother talking to me when we’re outside of the dorm room so why bother talking to you? Why should I waste my fee---“ Taeyeon stopped as she realized what she was about to say.

“Your what?” Jessica asked. Taeyeon couldn’t make out Jessica’s expression. Was she sullen? Hurt?

“Nothing.” Taeyeon said. “Just don’t bother talking to me.”

“No.”

“No?”

Jessica looked at her, “I don’t want to not talk to you.” There was emphasis in her words.

Taeyeon looked at her in disbelief. This was the girl who didn’t even bother giving her a reply to her confession and decided to ignore her. This was the girl who made her cry. And yet, here she was, saying these things to Taeyeon.

“You want to talk? Then talk!” It was clear that Taeyeon was mad judging from her voice.

“Why are you so mad at me?”

“Why? You’re seriously asking me why?” Taeyeon finally broke free from Jessica’s grip. There was a weird sensation around her wrist, but she ignored it. “You seriously don’t know why I’ve been avoiding you?!”

“Ha! So you were avoiding me!” Jessica was equally sarcastic.

Taeyeon rolled her eyes, “No duh!? After what you’ve done to me? Who wouldn’t avoid you? I wouldn’t mindlessly just follow you and stay in love with you. I’m smarter than that. So I decided to ignore you after you turned me down.”

“Wa---“ Jessica held her hand up, “Wait.” She looked at Taeyeon, straight in the eye. “Did you hit your head or something?”

Taeyeon shot Jessica a look, “Shut up. Go die.” She said as she walked away.

“Kim TaeYeon, you coward! You neat freak coward! Come back here!”

Taeyeon stopped sprinting. She looked back to Jessica who was still standing on the same spot. “Whatever.” Everyone was looking at Jessica. They were still in campus grounds and it was completely unavoidable. Taeyeon walked and ignored the girl, pretending she didn’t know the latter.

“Kim Taeyeon is a neat freak who yells at me all the time!”

“Kim Taeyeon’s only hobby is to clean the room!”

Jessica had been yelling things about Taeyeon and this was completely peeving the girl.

“Kim Taeyeon has OCD!”

“No one should room with Kim Taeyeon!”

“No one else will survive to live with Kim Taeyeon!”

“Kim Taeyeon---“ Taeyeon placed her hand over Jessica’s mouth after she dashed at full speed to stop any more humiliating things this pabo could reveal.

“Didn’t I tell you to shut up?!” Taeyeon hissed. She looked around. People were looking at them, wondering if these two were going to engage in to a physical fight. “Isn’t it enough that you already broke my heart? Now you want to humiliate me too!?”

Jessica looked at her. Those eyes still had the same effect with Taeyeon, but for some good or maybe odd reason, she was able to ignore those hypnotizing gazes. She was too mad to even bother with anything relating to Jessica.

“But I don’t want to shut up.”

“Go die.”

“But I can’t die.”

Taeyeon’s eyes stung. “Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

Taeyeon shot her another deadly glare, “Don’t act like you didn’t know I loved you.”

Jessica looked at her genuinely. “I didn’t.” There was a spark of sorrow in Jessica’s voice.

“You…” Taeyeon couldn’t believe what she heard. How could she not? “I---I wrote a note.” Jessica shrugged. “I thought you read it. You avoided me that day…”

“It’s not like I want to avoid you.” Jessica’s tone was low.

“Huh?” was the only thing Taeyeon said.

“I seriously didn’t see any note or whatever.” Jessica looked away, “Anyway, its fine now. Whatever, right? It’s all over…” Taeyeon noticed the building tears in Jessica’s eyes.

“Why are you crying?!” Asked Taeyeon in a panic. She didn’t know what to do now. “You’re the one avoiding me!”

“Tiffany.” Jessica said.

“What about Tiffany?”

“She teases me.”

Taeyeon scoffed. She thought Jessica was crying because of something important but it ended up being something petty. “You’re crying because she teases you?” Now it felt like their whole conversation was getting to nowhere.

“No! I’m crying coz you said you loved me!”

“And?” Taeyeon was nonchalant.

“Loved?”

“So?”

“Then I loved you, too.” Jessica turned around and slowly walked away and quickly gaining pace.

Loved. Taeyeon finally understood the difference.

“Loved?” She asked Jessica but the latter was already too far to hear her whispers. “Jessica!” She called, but Jessica didn’t bother turning back. Why did it seem like it had happened before? Oh, right. Jessica was in her shoes earlier.

What should she do in order to make the other girl stop? She should run but her feet were treacherously glued to the floor. What did Jessica do?

“Jessica Jung is a dirty person!” Taeyeon yelled with all her might as she shut her eyes tight.

“She’s a lazy slob!”

“Jessica Jung is a stupid bum!”

“No one should bother rooming with her! She’ll just mess everything up!”

“Jessica Jung is a girl who---“ There was a hand that was covering Taeyeon’s mouth, preventing her from saying anymore.

“What are you doing!?”

“I don’t really know…” Taeyeon was clueless.

Jessica started laughing. “You’re really something!”

“You’re laughing at me again?!” Taeyeon asked but Jessica just kept on laughing. Taeyeon looked at Jessica, “Did you really love me?”

“No.” And she then shrugged. Peeved, Taeyeon raised her hand and was about to lightly hit Jessica’s shoulder but was stopped by Jessica, catching Taeyeon’s wrist. Jessica smiled deviously. She led Taeyeon’s palm to cup her right cheek. “I still do.”

“You—you do?”

Jessica nodded, “How about you? You’re the one who said you loved me. So you loved me?”

Taeyeon looked down, avoiding Jessica’s gaze. Taeyeon removed her hand on Jessica’s cheek.“Yeah.”

“Oh.” There was disappointment in Jessica’s voice. “I see.” She then looked away. “I’m sorry for cau---“

There was this warm, wet sensation on Jessica’s cheek that caused her to stop talking. She was surprised. Butterflies in her stomach were probably multiplying by the second. She couldn’t control what she was feeling- all giddy. She looked at Taeyeon in surprise. “I— I thought you loved me? Why---why’d you kiss---“

Taeyeon flashed a smile and pulled Jessica in for a tight hug, “I fell in love again.”

“Finally!” Tiffany exclaimed with a smile on. “It’s about time.”

“I know, right?”  Sooyoung said as she trailed just behind Tiffany. “Finally.”

Taeyeon tilted her head to the side, “You knew?” She asked, looking at Tiffany.

“I’ve been teasing Jessica since freshmen year.” Tiffany flashed another bright smile, “It’s fun to when you’re around. She blushes and walks away. It’s seriously epic!” And it was soon followed by bountiful laughter.

Taeyeon looked at Jessica, whose arm was around Taeyeon’s waist. Their faces were inches apart, “Really? You liked me since then?” Taeyeon asked.

Jessica shook her head and then said, “No. I love you since then,” with a proud smile on.

 

****

“Since when did you start liking me?”

“I don’t know?”

“Tell me! You just said it last month! Tell me!”

“You whine and nag a lot.”

“But I want to know!”

“How can I answer when I don’t even know when exactly?”

Taeyeon pouted and rolled her eyes. They were at the park and were just sitting on the grass in each others’ embrace. “Do you think this is love?”

Jessica shrugged, “I don’t know?”

Taeyeon looked at her girlfriend, “You’re with me and you don’t know?!”

“Well, who knows what love is? It depends on the people and how they interpret it anyway.”

“So what do you think is love? What made you love me?”

“I don’t know what made me love you.” Jessica said, sighing. “You’re loud, you nag, you’re short, you’re a clean freak, you have a bad temper and you…”

“Yah! I didn’t ask you about the things you hate about me.”

Taeyeon could see the smile that was forming on Jessica’s face. “Yeah. I hate those things. I hate girls that are loud. I dislike it when people nag me. It reminds me so much of my mom. Well, short girls are cute but not really my type. Girls with bad temper just make it seem like they want to kill me every time.” Jessica looked down and kissed Taeyeon’s head. “Those things I hate are in you. But I think…”

“You think?”

“I think… when someone managed to make me love them despite all those, then…” Jessica hugged her girlfriend tighter, “Scratch that. It is love when Kim TaeYeon managed to make me look her way, taking notice of her, loving her so much even though she’s everything that I hate.”

Hiding her smile and blush, Taeyeon looked away, “It’s Kim TaeYeon. Of course, you’ll end up loving her.”

Jessica laughed, and then held Taeyeon’s chin. She made her girlfriend face her. “How about you?” She leaned forward to kiss Taeyeon and so, Taeyeon shut her eyes.

...

Taeyeon opened her eyes. Jessica was already leaning back, just looking on to the horizon. “Jerk.”

“What?”

“I won’t ever fall for your tricks! I thought you were going to kiss me!”

Jessica laughed. “You want a kiss?”

“No.” Taeyeon pouted.

“Okay.”

“Fine!” Taeyeon murmured in an irritated tone. “I want one.”

“Oh? Why are you so demanding?”

Taeyeon shot her a glare. “I hate you.”

“People say the more you hate the more you love, you know?” Jessica tightened her embrace but the short girl was trying to break free from it. “You love me too much that you hate and you love me?”

“I don’t love you!”

Jessica laughed again. “You don’t?”

“I don’t!”

“Okay.” Jessica stood up, patted her behind to remove the grass and dust that may or may not be there. “I’ll head home and change rooms then.”

Taeyeon scoffed, “Like someone would want to room with you after what I said in the hallway last month.”

Jessica shrugged, “No one would room with you after what I said. It’s fine, I can live with Tiffany.”

Taeyeon stuck her tongue out, “I can live with Sooyoung!”

“She wouldn’t want you there.” Jessica teased.

Taeyeon pouted. It was true. Sooyoung didn’t want her there. Actually, Sooyoung didn’t want her anywhere near her dorm since she would just start yelling at the shikshin and nag her to clean.

“I hate you!” It was the only way Taeyeon could retaliate.

“That’s not the way to get me back, Taeyeon.”

Taeyeon just looked away. “It’s your fault, pabo. You called me a neat freak in the hallway and a bunch of other things, too.”

“You know why I said those things in the hallway?” Jessica asked as she sat in front of Taeyeon.

Taeyeon shot Jessica a nasty look, but was surprised to see the latter smiling. “Why?”

“So no one would room with you but me.” She smiled, kissing the girl when she least expected it.



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So.... how was it? >< First, let me THANK YOU for reading all those text. Lol. very long, huh? But don't you guys like long updates anyway? lol. so there, a looooong one shot.


Please do give me your feedback. I appreciate it<3

One more thing, expect a JeTi one shot soon.I already have 4,500 words on this one shot. <3