They're back boned by secrets being shared not kept hidden, by expressing the frustrations of the day to each other over dinner, by rainy days spent cuddling in bed.

But, not all relationships can be that way.

 

Kris often wishes that his girlfriend of nearly five years were more open with him.

He longs for her to tell him where she goes late at night, why she always returns home smelling of alcohol and cologne, why she's always disappearing on him.

 

His friends tell him he should dump her.

Even his group mates, tell him that they don't suit each other.

It's not that they dislike her. They simply see the toll her secrets take on Kris, and want what's best for him.

But, he likes to think that it's nothing serious, that she'll come around.

________________________

 

The ringing from the other room woke him. Kris could hear her talking in hushed tones with the caller.

 

"Are you leaving me again, Liuli?" he asked quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed with his shirt off, watching her shove clothes into a black duffel bag.

 

"I have somewhere I have to be." she answered plainly, throwing on one of his tee shirts and a pair of cut-off jean shorts, and then zipping on her boots.

 

"Are you coming back?" questioned the blonde male, with a frown set firmly on his face, his thick eyebrows furrowing.

 

Cheung Liuli smiled assuringly, placing her hands on both of his cheeks and kissing him tenderly, "It'll only be a week."

 

Kris smiled back sadly, slanting his lips against her own once more, his arms entangling her waist and pulling her against him.

They kissed for a few short moments, before the woman pulled apart from him. Kris nearly whined at the loss of contact.

 

"I love you." he called, as she walked out the door.

He heard no reply, only the sound of the door closing behind her.

With a sigh, Kris lay back in bed with a heavy heart.

 

She was always running out on him this way.

________________________

 

Sometimes they argue. Little quarrels that are short and soon forgotten.

On a particular evening, the two had a dispute about Liuli's constant coming and going in their home.

About the way she was always running out on him, not returning for days sometimes weeks.

 

Just when Kris thought things were going well, he'd find her packing a bag and hopping the next train out of Seoul.

At first he thought he'd been doing something wrong. Was he not giving her enough freedom? Was he being too clingy?

How could he not be, when he was never sure of whether she'd still be there when he came home?

Finally, he realized, it wasn't him at all. She was hiding something from him.

 

He was furious. They'd known each other since middle school, back in China.

They'd always been close, told each other everything. What reason could she possibly have to hide anything from him?

 

Did their relationship mean so little to her? After everything they'd gone through together?

After he'd taken her in when she ran away from her family. After he'd welcomed her into his home, his heart?

After he'd loved her so faithfully? This was how she would repay him for his love?

 

Kris was livid. Perhaps it was more the soju in his system that fueled him so, but he simply couldn't contain himself any longer.

 

In Cantonese, he bellowed at her, taking her shoulders and forcing her against the mattress, yelling all his frustrations.

He told her how much he loved her, how he'd give anything for her. How he'd give up being an idol for her. How he'd give anything and everything to stay at her side.

He questioned her. Why was she always running out on him? Where did she always disappear to? Why would she never tell him she loved him?

 

Liuli said nothing. The same as she always does when he drunkenly attacks her with all of these questions.

She allowed him to curl up against her, wrapping his broad shoulders in her arms, and letting him rest against her chest.

She let him cry, holding him all the while.

 

When Kris finally falls asleep, Liuli remains awake.

Absently Kris' blonde hair, and thinking off all the things he'd said to her.

 

She realizes she may have less time that she first thought.

________________________

 

"Baby?" he calls, entering the living room of their shared apartment at nearly three AM.

Kris couldn't help but wonder what she was doing so late at night, all by herself.

Liuli was on their desktop computer reading and re-reading something that he couldn't see from a distance.

 

The woman jumped in her seat, frightened by his sudden intrusion. "N-nothing, babe."

 

He watches her close down all the tabs quickly and hop out of the chair.

 

"I'm going off to bed. You should too, babe." she told him, as she disappeared around the corner to their room.

 

Kris nodded, "I'll be right there, Liuli." but not before approaching the computer.

Only the desktop background stared back at him innocently, but in the printer was an online receipt for a flight to China.

The date was two weeks from then.

 

"Yifan?" he heard her calling, and chose to leave it there and not question it.

She would tell him if she were going back to China... Wouldn't she?

 

The receipt he'd discovered did not go forgotten.

________________________

 

In the final week before the date Kris had spotted on the plane ticket, Liuli's behavior had improved vastly.

 

She was home every night, and when he woke in the morning. Often she would be making breakfast for them when he woke.

They didn't argue even once, and Liuli was being strangely clingy towards him.

Kris didn't mind in the least, but was still suspicious.

 

Is wasn't until the date of the flight rolled around and Kris had stopped by the house for lunch, did he realize things had gone terribly wrong.

 

On the breakfast bar was a simple note, scribbled in his beloved girlfriend's hand writing.

He read it once, gazing down at the piece of planner paper in pure shock, then read it once more.

It finally hit him what she'd needed a ticket to China for. She was leaving him. She'd been playing good, and then abandoned him.

But, he realized that maybe it wasn't quite what he'd been thinking. She'd done it for him.

That was all the notice he needed. He grabbed the emergency bag he'd packed, with his ticket handy, before running off to his car and speeding toward the airport.

Leaving the goodbye letter to flutter to the floor. 

________________________

 

Liuli sat in the window seat of a Korean Air flight from Incheon International Airport that would land at Guangzhou Baiyun International Airport.

She had her headphones in and she was listening to a song by her favorite Chinese group.

Her heart felt heavy and she felt she would cry at any moment, but she tried to distract herself by burying her nose in a novel.

 

Not long before the flight was to take off, someone joined her in her row, but she was too distraught to turn her attention to them.

 

"You runnin' again?" Kris questioned, standing in the aisle beside the row she sat in.

 

Liuli's eyes nearly bulged out of her skull when she saw him standing there, "What at are you doing here?!" she exclaimed.

 

Kris only smiled in return, putting his carry-on in the overhead bin and settling down in the seat beside her.

 

"I'm going to Guangzhou." he smiled cheekily, his eyes scrunching up in an adorable eye smile that was rare from him, "What about you?"

 

She gave him a look of disbelief, "H-how did you know I was--" Kris cut her off.

 

"I found the ticket you'd printed, weeks ago. I wanted to believe it wasn't for what I thought, but I was too suspicious. So I purchased one too a couple days after you, incase you were planning to take off on me for real this time...."

 

He watched Liuli hang her head, but interrupted her again before she could speak.

 

"I really thought you were abandoning me, Cheung Liuli. But, after reading your note.... I realized something. You're leaving because of my career, aren't you?"

 

The younger chinese woman nodded, tears swelling in her eyes.

Tears that Kris wiped away, and then kissed her.

 

"It wasn't like that, Yifan!" she cried, letting him hold her.

 

"I wasn't leaving you because I didn't love you anymore, or because I found someone else. It's because it would be better for you if you didn't have to worry about your fans finding out about me... About us. It could hurt your career."

 

Kris smiled at her knowingly, holding her cheeks in both hands, "I know, baby."

 

"I just want what's best for you. I don't want to mess it up for you. And, everyone wanted us to break up anyway. I thought maybe it was for the best. I thought maybe that could help you. I didn't mean to make you think those things, baby. I love you. But, when you said you would quit for me, I knew that distancing myself the way I have been, wasn't enough. I thought I should leave before I destroy your career."

 

He'd had some kind of idea that was what she was thinking. But, Kris hadn't realized just how much she'd been sacrificing just to help his career.

He was thankful to have her. And, had no intention of letting her get away.

 

"A vacation will be good for us, don't you think?" He questioned, intertwining his fingers with hers, "Maybe we can visit your parents while we're in China?"

 

Kris believes he's always at his best with Liuli at his side.