Soobin’s POV

After moving into the new house, I realize my relationship with Donghae had came to an abrupt halt. He was rarely home and when he came back, it was late at night after a long night of entertaining clients. Sometimes, he would even come home half drunk.

My work has also started to get the better of me. I start to dread working. I realize maybe my stress level is starting to get too high to control. I get constant headaches and get tired really easily.

“You should rest more. You look pale these days.” Siwon said as he dropped me off from work. I just smiled at him. He’s been telling me this every day, without fail. It’s like Siwon knows me better than Donghae.

When I got home, it was different from other days. He’s home, awake and sober. I smiled. I dropped my bags and went to him.

“You’re home early today.” I said, but he kept silent. I then realized the awkward tension in the room. What had happened?

“Donghae…”

“Is this what you have been doing while I was busy? Flirting with another man?” He said, voice calm and serious.

“What?”

“Siwon. If that’s his name. Your colleague as so you say. I’ve seen him with you. The both of you don’t seem like normal friends to me. He picks you up, sends you home. Why are you home so late today? Went on a date with him? Thinking I would be doing overtime?” He said, voice filled with sarcasm.

“Donghae, We’re just friends. He picks me up and drops me off everyday because it’s on the way.” He didn’t say anything for a few minutes.

“You know how much I trusted you?” Donghae said, voice filled with hurt and disappointment.

“And you should trust me.” I said. How can he think otherwise?

“How can I when all I see is the both of your acting so… intimate?” He snapped.

“Donghae, I’ve said and said again, Siwon is only my friend.” I’m starting to get angry.

“Forget it!” He snapped angrily before he walked out of the house. 

I sat in the living room, not moving, thinking about what has just happened. What had made Donghae so angry? It was then I realized, I fought with Donghae. The first time, we fought, because of something that means the most to a couple, trust.

Tears pooled in my eyes as I recalled what he said… both of you acting so …. Intimate… Siwon and I are just friends, we have never crossed the line. Siwon knows Donghae’s misunderstanding about him. He has been a great friend and support I don’t understand why can’t Donghae understand that?

That night, Donghae came back dead drunk. He was uttering rubbish, totally enjoying himself. When I helped him into the room, he was asking for round 2 of drinks.

“it’s Soobin!” He cheered, hands touching my face.

“Aren’t you suppose to be with Siwon?” He said and his mood changed.

“How could you betray me? I love you so much. I trusted you with my heart, but you tore it into pieces! Why!” Donghae exclaimed in my face, scaring me a bit.

“Donghae, You’re drunk. We’ll talk tomorrow ok?” I tried to calm him down.

“NO! I want to know WHY!” He said and time again, I tried to calm him down, but he started to get annoyed.

That night, was the greatest mistake of my life. I shouldn’t have allowed him to do such a thing when he was not in his right state of mind. I should have let him calm down and wait till morning to talk. I shouldn’t have let him take advantage of me when he’s drunk.

The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual, got dressed and made breakfast before leaving the house, not waiting for Donghae to wake up. I didn’t know how to face him after what he did. Even though we’re married, but it’s wrong.

The evening, he worked overtime again. When he came back, he went to bed after showering. However, just one slight touch from him, jolted me awkward from my sleep.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, totally forgetting what happened yesterday night.

“Just a bad dream.” I said and went back to sleep.

My body condition was starting to get more and more worst. I started to feel nauseas and wanting to eat strange food at strange times.

“I’m going for a business trip to Seattle on Friday for a week. You can stay home on your own?” He asked, trying to touch my arm, but I flinched. He was taken aback, but said nothing. I nodded my head and went into our room.

It has been a few weeks since that incident. I cannot seem to get past it. I love Donghae, but now it seems like there’s a pull to it. When he came into the room, I looked at his every move.

“Soobin-ah, are you feeling ok? You look really pale.” He said as I nodded. I also realized that the color on my face has disappeared.

“Take care of yourself when I’m gone ok? I’ll be back before you know it.” He smiled. I miss that gentle heartwarming smile of his.

I felt my body getting weaker and weaker, but I just blamed the less intake of food I was having. I went home early most of the time and I didn’t let Donghae know, I didn’t want him to worry or what’s more, come take care of me.

“Take care of yourself ok? If there’s anything, call me.” He smiled sadly. It must have been because of yesterday’s conversation.

Flashback

“Soobin-ah!” Donghae called and I jolted in my seat. He walked into our shared bedroom and sat on the bed behind the chair I was sitting on.

“Yes?” I tried to not look at him.

“Why won’t you look at me or let me have contact with you?” He asked. Oh no, he realized. How could he have not, I jump whenever he touched me. He must be an idiot to not realize.

“I just think we need some time to get used to things around here. I have a lot of things in my mind. I need some time.” I said as I looked at him with his face downcast. He was leaving for a business trip tomorrow and yet I’m here bringing him all sorts of trouble.

Ever since that night he was drunk, he has never mentioned anything about Siwon. Was that the idea he was having in his mind ever since I’ve known Siwon and introduced them? The Donghae I see now is no longer the serious and cold Donghae, but the warm and gentle Donghae.

Donghae walked out of the room without a word. I looked at his back which was slightly slumped. I must have hurt him, but it was because he had hurt me first. Even though unintentionally, but it caused some conflict between us, invisible conflicts.

End of Flashback.

“I’ll call you every night to check on you ok? Remember to lock the doors when you come home.” He reminded me and I nodded my head. When his ride arrived, I tried to get past that invisible wall pulling between us and gave him a kiss on his cheeks.

“Be safe.”

“I will.” He said with a smile and went into his cab and he was gone, Gone for a week. I went to change my clothes and went to the hospital to see a doctor. My body has been giving me too much trouble lately.

End of Soobin’s POV

Donghae’s POV

For the longest of time, I haven’t seen Soobin smile. For a week or 2, Soobin has been acting strangely. It seems like she’s avoiding me. Yesterday when I asked her about it, she looked slightly… afraid. What was she afraid of? I couldn’t think of anything. However, when she told me to be safe with a kiss on my cheeks, I vowed to myself that I will stay safe, for her sake.

Actually, I didn’t want to accept the proposal on going for business trips. However, under the pressure of the management, I have no choice but to accept it. They wanted to promote me again, but I don’t feel like accepting this promotion. I feel that promotion after promotion, I get to spend lesser time with Soobin and I don’t want to risk my family for my job.

When I landed safely in Seattle, I focused on work so that I can return to Korea quickly, where I belong. That night when I called Soobin, she sounded a little unfocused, as if something had happened. She told me she went to visit Eunhyuk and that Eunhyuk missed us disturbing him all the time. She also told me that she wanted the ahjumma to come to clean and cook.

The last time I brought that question up, she was totally against it. Why was she wanting it now? But seeing her the past few weeks, she looked more and more tired and is having difficulty coping with her job and housework. I guess we really need the ahjumma back.

“Soobin-ah, do you want to have children?” I asked her and I caught her off guard as I heard her gasp.

“I want to…” She sounded really shy about it. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked her this way.

“We’ll talk about this when I get back. You must be tired. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I said and she wished me goodnight.

The week past quickly and I got to talk to Soobin every night without fail. However, every night, she would be unfocused at first. It’s as if she has something hiding from me. But I came to see that she is more comfortable to talk to me through the phone rather than face to face.

On the last day of my trip, the meeting ended early which means I have time to take a walk around. I stopped at a particular shop which sold hair accessories. There was a particular ribbon hair tie which caught my attention. I have noticed Soobin always had a ribbon hair accessory on her head. No matter slips or pins or hairband, it will always be a ribbon. I bought it and went back to the hotel, preparing to go to the airport for my flight back to Taiwan.

While waiting for the plane to depart, I decided to send Soobin a message to let her know I’ll be home soon.

After a week apart, I came to see how important she is to my life. Every day, I am always anticipating night time to come so that I can talk with Soobin. I miss her laughter, her smile, her cooking. It’s like she has became part of me after being married. I always want what will make her happy. I am always thinking about pleasing her. I guess this is what love can do to a person.

Before I turned off my phone, I received a text back from her. ‘I’ll wait for you- Soobin’ I smiled at the message and turned off my phone as the plane was getting ready to take off.

I looked at the ribbon hair clip which I bought for Soobin. I kept it in my pocket because I want to give it to her when I got home. I want to surprise her. As a husband, I have never done all those surprise or anniversary parties for her. Our marriage life was simple. I haven’t been doing my part as a husband. I should really think back about what have I been doing. Even though she does not complain, but every woman would definitely want love from their husbands.

I guess I was so deep in thought that when I snapped out of it, it was by the announcer ‘We’ll land in Taiwan, Taipei international airport in 10 minutes. Please return to your seat and thank you for travelling with us’

Home, here I come…