"Can I cry now?"
Jang Dongwoo's Journal
We spent our days together practising and just staying at home. We'd go visit Sunggyu-hyung in turns and I think each day he looked a bit better.
I told him how we were doing and everything every time I went to visit him. I sat there, talking endlessly and laughed alone and I was wishing that he was listening to me.
At each visit I will end with, "Come home soon, hyung."
I found Hoya missing one evening so I went to the practice room to find him. I opened the door loudly and saw him dancing. He noticed me and immediately stopped, standing straight awkwardly.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing." He answered in a monotone voice.
I eyed him suspiciously. "Eyyyyy.? You were clearly dancing just now. What? Is it a new move?"
He began smiling awkwardly, looking at me. "I'm going home first!"
He picked up his jacket and stormed out, leaving me speechless. I scratched my head, laughing to myself. I looked at myself in the mirror and danced to Be Mine all by myself, without music. Soon I got tired and went out, heading home.
I headed to the neighbourhood around our old dorm instead. I went into shops that we used to go to during our years there. I went to this used-books store and aimlessly looked at the books stacked in the shops. There wasn't really anyone in the shop but an old man, the shopkeeper, me and this young lady. I saw her looking up and down the shelves frantically, biting her lips and frowning whenever she pulled the wrong book.
I didn't know why I kept watching her but her face when she finally found a book that she was probably looking for was priceless. She held the book tight and began to walk away, not even turning back. So I went out of the book without buying anything, walking slowly to the nearest convenience store and bought an ice-cream.
I walked slowly towards our dorm, not really wanting to reach there so I stopped to play with cats and finally I thought it was getting quite late so I finally reached the dorm, and saw the lights on. I just stood there for quite a while before walking away.
I walked towards the playground and saw Hoya from afar. I watched as he played with some stones, looking like a child who lost his mum. It hurts a bit looking at him like that. I walked towards him, as he was looking down the stone in his hand.
“Hoya, what are you doing here?” I said, looking down on him.
“Ahh. Hyung. I was just...” He tried to talk but he just
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