He didn’t know why he never realized it sooner. Kai had first met Hyunnie at the annual school fundraiser, hadn’t he? That could only mean one thing, one wonderful thing for Kai.

Hyunnie must go to his school.

-

Over the weekend after the club incident, Baekhyun couldn’t stop thinking about Kai. He knew the other boy was definitely not a distance runner, but that didn’t seem to stop him from running a marathon through his mind and leaving his footprints all over in a pattern of disarray. Every morning when Baekhyun woke up, his first thoughts would be of Kai and his shy little smile that beamed like the rising sun, and every night before he went to sleep his mind would never fail to remind him of the feel of Kai’s strong arms around his waist as they danced together. It was infuriating, really. Everything seemed to remind him of Kai in one way or another. Even that pineapple sitting on his kitchen counter reminded him of Kai, which was a bit unnerving seeing as though it was just a pineapple—a spiky fruit—and had nothing to do with the tanned boy whatsoever.

Baekhyun knew he was at the threshold of a total mental meltdown when he had to sit down and seriously contemplate whether or not to brutally tear off all the Girls Generations posters that lined his walls because yes, some how even those nine smiling, female faces also reminded him of Kai. It was something about SM entertainment and boy groups, Baekhyun would grumble. But before he could do something he would dearly regret later on, the disgruntled was interrupted by a text that would destroy his simple school life forever.

Hey, it’s Kai :D I was wondering if you were free for lunch on Monday? I would love it if you could spare some time for me in your busy schedule ^^

This time, Chanyeol wasn’t to blame for the poor decision-making that took place and Baekhyun resented that.

-

When Monday finally arrived, Baekhyun wasn’t sure if this uncomfortable flipping and oddly fluttering sensation he felt building up at the pit of his stomach was a good sign or not. If it was any sort of consolation for his sanity that was slowly peeling away at the seams, he may not have been prepared mentally but he was certainly prepared physically with the change of girls' clothing that he remembered to stuff into the bottom of his backpack.

To his utter dismay, after a few hours of thorough and admittedly desperate internet searches over the weekend, there was no published guide on how to have lunch with a boy you may or not be interested in who also thinks you’re a woman even though you’re just lying to him. He even tried anonymously asking kind strangers on the internet with no success. After he had gotten a few very sketchy replies which offered quote, unquote “a good time” from a couple of faceless avatars and a couple of threats which blamed him for being heartless and mindless and always ended up with being told to get shot, he decided to snap shut his laptop and bury his face into his hands.

But was this really a surprise? What type of response was he expecting? Nobody in reality ever ended up in these types of over dramatic, insanely fantastical situations. Nobody except for Baekhyun. He had a gift, really. He should get a Nobel Prize.

Baekhyun didn’t get much sympathy from his friends either when he had called them to explain about his lunch date. Looking back on it, he wasn’t even sure why he tried in the first place. The little sliver of hope that the three guys had even a shed of humanity in their little black souls was squashed like a bug when all he got on the other line of the receiver were giggles and a “go get him tiger!” followed by a few obscene growling noises. Oh how he loathed Sehun’s sass.

Baekhyun trudged to his first class with a sigh of resignation as he looked up at the clock. Just three hours until lunchtime. He was on his own.

-

Baekhyun met Kai, already changed, at a small park a little ways off campus. It was a short walk but it provided Baekhyun enough time to check and double check that all his lady parts were in order as well as give himself a brief mental pep talk, which consisted mostly of inspirational hard work quotes and a lot of small fist pumps to the air. After he was confident that he could feel the powerful mix of adrenaline and courage coursing through his veins, Baekhyun rounded the last corner only to have everything within him immediately dry up and evaporate into the hot summer air.

His eyes widened as he was surprised to see that Kai was not alone; there was another boy, a bit shorter and a bit more wide-eyed, sitting beside him under a large tree, calmly placing down layers upon layers of bento boxes onto a large blanket. Baekhyun quickly raked through his brain and thought back to the lengthy text message conversation they had shared last night, going over the details of today. Kai had never informed him they would have company.

But before Baekhyun could turn on his heel and march straight back the way he had come, into a bathroom stall and cry his eyes out at his life, Kai’s head popped up and spotted him, throwing him off his center of balance with a bright, beaming smile that rivaled the high sun. It was the exact same one that had been projecting in Baekhyun’s mind over and over again, making his body feel giddy and queasy all over except he soon found out that the real thing was a million times more potent. “Hyunnie! Over here!” Kai made sure to wave his arms in such a large and flailing manner that even blind people were sure to know where he was. Baekhyun nodded his head in Kai’s direction, flushing and trying to hide his face in half embarrassment, half amusement.

“Would you stop that Kai? You’re an embarrassment,” the other boy suddenly sat up and slapped Kai on the back of the head before turning to face Baekhyun with a kind, heart-shaped smile. He motioned him over and Baekhyun laughed. He knew he was going to like him.

“So you’re Hyunnie?” The wide-eyed boy asked, tilting his head slightly as Baekhyun sat down shyly in front of them. Baekhyun nodded as he prayed to the gods that this boy’s incredibly large eyes didn’t actually hide some incredible x-ray vision that would somehow see right through his disguise.

“And you’re…?” Baekhyun didn’t mean to sound rude but he didn’t think that he had ever seen the other boy before even if they were all going to the same school. The other boy’s eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets as he stared at Baekhyun in blatant shock.

“Kai never told you about me?!” He whipped his head around and threw Kai, who was now attempting to hide his red face with his sweater, a betrayed glare.

“Sorry Kyungsoo… it just never came up?” Kai let out an awkward laugh and made an equally as awkward heart with his arms in front of his face. Kyungsoo scowled even deeper, scrunching up his nose as he lifted his small fist in the air, causing Kai to shrink back like a kicked puppy. Baekhyun couldn’t contain the bubbles of laughter from escaping his lips as he watched the two interact in front of him. They must be close—they looked like a mother and a son.

At the sound of Baekhyun’s delicate laughter, Kai and Kyungsoo immediately looked up and went back to their seats, clearing their throat in embarrassment. “Um sorry, I’m Kyungsoo, Kai’s best friend,” Kyungsoo introduced himself and jabbed Kai in the ribs with his elbow as he placed emphasis on the last two words. Baekhyun nodded with a smile.

“It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Oh no, it’s very nice to finally meet you. You know, Kai’s been talking about you nonstop for the past two weeks—things like how you’re so kind and how you’re just so—“

“Alright guys,” Kai suddenly interrupted with a clap of his hands, his face resembling a steaming tomato, “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving. Let’s eat!”

Kyungsoo made a noise of agreement and stuck his tongue out at the younger before he pushed a few boxes closer to Baekhyun. “Don’t be shy ok? Just dig in.”

Baekhyun just nodded gratefully as he popped an egg roll into his mouth.

-

“Wow this is really good!” Baekhyun said as he made his way through each bento box, sampling a bit here and there, making sure not to miss a thing.

“You really like it?” Kyungsoo asked with a pleased eye smile brightening up his face. Although the atmosphere was a tad awkward in the beginning, soon enough after a few insistent smiles and politely avoided chopsticks conflicts, Kyungsoo had relaxed and openly accepted Baekhyun into their small group, letting the animated chatter flow through like it was the most natural thing in the world. “Thanks, I made it all myself.”

Baekhyun nearly choked on his rice and gawked as Kyungsoo sat there with a proud and determinded look on his face. “Really?! Wow, that’s amazing!” Baekhyun gushed and looked around at the array and the variety of dishes in front of him. “This must’ve taken forever! I’m really sorry if I burdened you...”

Kyungsoo waved his hands in front of his face. “Oh no, no it’s really my pleasure. It’s the least I can do, really.”

Kai glanced between the two as they chatted together and couldn’t help but notice the unbridled twinkle of admiration present in his Hyunnie’s eyes. The boy pouted before he scoffed and poked Kyungsoo in the shoulder. “I helped too.”

Kyungsoo turned and raised his eyebrow skeptically, “you? Help? What did you do?”

Kai’s eyes widened as he quickly glanced around, “I uh, I p-peeled the apples.”

It was Kyungsoo’s turn to scoff, “as if.”

Kai pouted as his shoulders deflated visibly, “well I’ll cook for you guys next time alright? I promise.”

Baekhyun suddenly perked up at the words. “Next time?”

Kai turned to face him with the same shy and anxious expression as the first time they had met. “You don’t mind do you? I mean, I understand if you’re busy…” Both Kai and Kyungsoo looked up at him with large, expectant eyes.

“Oh no, I’d love to.”

Well, .

-

The next morning Baekhyun woke up late and all but ran out the door the minute his bag was stuffed full of his books and his teeth were brushed.

-

Lunchtime arrived once again but unlike yesterday, Baekhyun wasn’t filled with a sense of dread but rather, he was excited in a way. He quickly made his way down to the bathroom to change when he reached into his bag and missed the feeling of soft fabric at the bottom. Wait a minute...

Baekhyun felt around his backpack one more time before desperately dumping it’s contents all over the dirty, cold floor. His heart dropped out of his chest as he realized through all the worksheets and pens that he forgot probably the most important thing—he forgot to pack his set of girl clothes. No way… Baekhyun slumped down to the floor and massaged his temple. He couldn’t believe that this had happened. He could still picture where he had left the clothes, already folded the night before, on his bedside table. But of course, he had forgotten all about them in his morning rush. Damn you alarm clock, I blame you. This is all your fault.

After a few long minutes of self-loathing, Baekhyun picked his heart off the floor, dusted it off and made his way out with his frame slouched in what looked like a crippling sense of dejection. Since he couldn’t meet Kai or Kyungsoo in the state that he was in—what he really was, he added bitterly—the boy decided to make his way down to the cafeteria where he had always eaten lunch with the usual gang. But the higher powers had a sick sense of humour it seemed because as he was walking, a lone figure caught his eye, standing near the front doors right where he usually left out of at this time. Curious, he slowly stepped closer and nearly gasped as he quickly spun around to hide behind an open door. Oh please don’t let it be who I think it is. Please.

Baekhyun gulped and took a deep breath before he hesitantly curled his fingers around the side of the door and took a peek. This time when his heart fell to the floor, it shattered into a million tiny pieces as he saw to his most agonizing nightmares that the figure was indeed Kai, standing there all alone, a lunch box in his hands, glancing around anxiously like a lost little kitten. He was waiting for Hyunnie and that cruel reality nearly threw Baekhyun head first into a never-ending pit of ripping guilt and sadness. He choked back a sob as he slowly turned his back and walked away.

-

It was oddly quiet when Baekhyun arrived at their usual table. Chanyeol, Sehun and Suho, under any other circumstance, would have already been all over the shorter boy, teasing and poking him ruthlessly but with one look at Baekhyun’s crestfallen face, they understood everything. They understood that Baekhyun had one of the roughest weeks of his life and they understood that the last thing he needed was to be pushed. The silence continued as Baekhyun stared blankly at the table for a minute before placing a finger down and tracing small patterns on the surface. “Hey guys?” Although his head was down, he knew that the other three had nodded. “I don’t think this is such a good idea anymo—“

“Excuse me, but do you know where Hyunnie is today?”

Baekhyun’s head immediately snapped up at the sound of the all too familiar voice. His mouth moved up and down wordlessly as he saw Kai standing by the other side of the table, his eyes lowered and covered by his bangs and the lunch bag still in hands. Chanyeol blinked a few times in confusion, making Kai lift his eyes slightly and before Baekhyun could run or duck or even react, his eyes had already met Kai’s, freezing him on the spot like a deer caught in headlights.

None of them could look away no matter how hard they tried. It was like some kind of unknown force and no matter how loud their minds and hearts were screaming, although for entirely different reasons from each other, their gazes were locked in a strange sort of staring contest. It was only when Chanyeol finally tapped Kai on the shoulder that he broke out of his trance and turned away.

“About Hyunnie, she’s um, sick today, sorry.” Chanyeol told him smoothly. Kai blinked a few more times before he mumbled a small thanks and walked away. Baekhyun could feel the stares of his friends boring into his face, but all that mattered to him at that moment was the crumpled look of Kai’s backside and the way his heart crumpled just the same.

-

At home, Baekhyun his phone to receive a flurry of texts, all from Kai.

Hey, I’m waiting ^^

Where are you? Did you get lost?

I heard you were sick D: Are you ok??

Please text me back

Text me back ASAP!!!

If Baekhyun didn’t feel like the scum of the Earth before, he felt much worse now.

Hey Kai, I’m sorry I never said anything. I’m alright so don’t worry about me. I’ll see you tomorrow.

And in that moment, Baekhyun knew that he was going to go to hell or worse.

-

Baekkhyun did see Kai again the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. Without any of them realizing, Baekhyun and Kai (and Kyungsoo of course) had fallen into the step of a daily routine. Kai would patiently wait at the front doors for Hyunnie at exactly noon, and then they would take the short walk together down to the large tree where Kyungsoo would surely already be there and setting up lunch.

Everything was going just normal that Friday. The sun was high up in the sky, the breeze was fragrant and cool, and Kyungsoo not so quietly fussed over and explained to Baekhyun how the shirts in his closet were organized—colour coded of course—as the disguised boy nodded whenever he saw fit and stuffed a strip of bacon into his mouth.

Nothing was out of the ordinary, so that was why Baekhyun was so surprised when Kai suddenly turned to him, eyes wide and innocent, and asked him if he was free to get together on the weekend. Baekhyun agreed. He agreed a little too hastily without any nagging second thoughts, and that blatant lack of hesitance would later plague his conscience that same night when he was all snuggled up deep in his sheets, unable to fall asleep.

He knew his life was a mess, he knew that his heart was a mess. But he didn’t want to admit why, even if he knew because if he did, he wouldn’t know how to fix it anyways.

Let the chips fall where they may.

-

It was a cloudy day, the first of many as the rain season was beginning to pick up. Baekhyun was standing in a small park downtown waiting for Kai to arrive. The children were bursting with fits of giggles as they romped around the area, chasing each other around in turns and even the little yellow ducks in the pond seemed to be having a merry time with themselves. Baekhyun smiled as he tightened the strings on his hoodie slightly.

He figured that after taking a thorough sort through his closet at Kyungsoo’s odd motherly insistence, he had already accumulated more than enough pieces of girls clothing and more than enough experience putting on eyeliner that he didn’t need to bother contacting his friends for this particular outing. It would be his little secret, he supposed.

Kai arrived soon after, looking as dashing as ever in his pair of dark jeans and V-neck t-shirt. Baekhyun pouted and cursed internally at the blessing Mother Nature had bestowed upon Kai’s looks before they headed off on their way.

-

It was apparent after a few minutes of what felt like aimless walking, that Baekhyun had no idea whatsoever where they were headed and the feeling that Kai was also clueless about their destination was growing at an alarming rate. They would be walking straight for a block or two then make a sudden turn at a random street corner, walk straight again and then turn. Baekhyun had accepted it the first few times but after they had somehow arrived at the foot of a large bridge that crossed the river, twenty or so block away from where they had started, Baekhyun finally broke the silence. “Hey, Kai?”

“Mhmm?” Kai gave him a nod of acknowledgment but continued walking, eyes fixed on the path in front of them.

“Why did you ask me out today?”

This time Kai turned his eyes down to Baekhyun for a brief moment before avoiding eye contact, his face flushing a little in the pale light. It took a few long seconds, but Kai finally cleared his throat and replied, "well, actually…. No, you’re going to laugh at me.”

“I promise that I won’t,” Baekhyun nudged the other encouragingly.

“I just wanted to get to know you better that’s all.”

They were just simple words, yes, but often the most simple of things mean the most. And these words were said with such an honest sincerity that Baekhyun couldn’t stop his heart from swelling twice it’s size. “Is that so?” It sounded more like a statement than a question.

“Yeah. After that first Kyungsoo incident, I realized that there was still so much about me that you didn’t know about yet and I felt sorry about that. I never meant to hide from you,” Kai smiled a little wistfully before his eyes turned suddenly serious, ”and at the same time, I was also sure that there was even more that I didn’t know about you—so much more that I wanted to know. Don’t hold back alright? I want to see every side of you.”

The words stabbed at Baekhyun in the most painful way and his heart started to palpitate rapidly in fright as though he had been caught—caught red handed and guilty in the act of his long, drawn out charade. But he hadn’t, had he? There was no way Kai could possibly know… could he? He was always so careful; Baekhyun always made sure that his disguises were fool proof.

Or had he been the fool all along?

A thin layer of cold sweat started at form on Baekhyun’s forehead and he felt his fingers tremble as he clutched the hem of his hoodie, avoiding eye contact at all costs. The inner battle within him raged with absolute war, his emotions fighting tooth and claw against his conscience. The silence was absolutely deafening and before the crushing weight of it all could break him into confessing everything in a flurry of tears and desperation, a bright laughter suddenly brought him back to reality and brought his head back up to stare at the boy in front of him, whose once dark and serious aura had melted into many lovely shades of amusement. “You should have seen your face!” Kai was laughing now with his hand clutched to his chest. He nearly doubled over as he lost his breath.

Baekhyun’s jaw dropped open as he watched Kai wipe his eyes and continue to laugh. He had just gone through hell and back, he had just lost twenty years of his life, he had just gone through a life crisis and nearly jumped off the side of the bridge and all for what? But Baekhyun couldn’t feel or remember anything anymore as the humongous wave of relief crashed down onto his shoulders like a tidal wave and he literally crashed down onto the ground as tears stung at the back of his eyes. Kai immediately rushed to his side and gently clutched his shoulders. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it, I was just joking. I’m so s—“

Baekhyun placed a finger gently on Kai’s lips to cut him off before shaking his head. “No Kai, I’m the one who’s sorry.” Baekhyun gently pushed Kai away and got up on his feet, dusting himself off before summoning all the courage he ever had and gave Kai the brightest and most genuine smile he could produce. He didn’t care if it looked fake and plastic, and he didn’t care if Kai could see right through him. It was the best he could do. “I was just… surprised.”

With the skeptical look Kai was giving him, Baekhyun knew that the other wasn’t completely convinced but let it go anyways, knowing that any further questions would just upset him more, which was last thing he wanted.

Kai was too good for him. If only he knew…

With a sigh, he looked out over the edge of the bridge to the steady flow of the river below and suddenly remembered a small fact he had heard about in a movie. “Hey Kai, did you know that every year thirty five people jump off the Brooklyn bridge, most because of a broken heart?”

“I never knew.”

“Do you—do you think we’ll ever end up like that?” He didn’t know why he suddenly asked that question. He didn’t know how it had slipped through his lips so carelessly. It was the most selfish thing he had ever done and he knew it. But in that moment, Baekhyun was absolutely desperate for any sort of approval, any indication that things could somehow work out in the end instead of the great wreckage of hate and pain he foresaw coming for him just over the horizon. It all had to end some day right?

“No, never.”

-

Not liking the dampened atmosphere, Kai had attempted to liven them up by telling very, very lame jokes he had probably read off the inside of those pink gum wrappers and even showed off his elusive Crong impression with a shy and ashamed face hide at the end that even Baekhyun couldn’t resist.

Baekhyun forced himself to push everything aside just for today, just for Kai because he owed it to him. Kai made him feel happy, he really did—more than anyone else was ever able to. And with these thoughts filling his head and his heart, Baekhyun smiled in a way that only radiated pure joy.

-

As the day winded down and the sun began to set, leaving behind streaks of soft orange and pinks, the two had found their way into a small but comfortable café. They had ordered a couple of smoothies long ago and were currently chatting up a storm at a small table near the back.

“So Hyunnie, are you excited about the talent show coming up?” Kai asked as he took another sip of his strawberry smoothie. Baekhyun laughed and nodded.

“Of course I am. I’m going to be performing—I’ve been writing a song.” It was true, over the past few months, Baekhyun had been practicing for the annual school talent show, which like the fundraiser, was highly anticipated by the student body. But the only thing was, he was going to be singing as Baekhyun, naturally, not Hyunnie. He didn’t even notice his accidental slip before it was far too late.

Kai raised his eyebrow in surprise. “Oh right, you’re in the choir right?”

Baekhyun nodded, honestly surprised that Kai had remembered.

“So… do you think I could get a sneak peak of this song?” Kai asked as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Baekhyun just scoffed and gave him a light punch on the shoulder.

“No way. It’s a secret.”

“Come on, please?”

“Nope.”

“Please?!” And this time, Kai clasped his hands together with an adorable little pout. Feeling all his willpower crumble away into the abyss of Kai’s large, clear eyes, Baekhyun sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Fine.”

Kai’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“But I can only tell you the title.”

Kai’s face dimmed ever so slightly but still maintained a sustained level of enthusiasm.

“It’s called ‘What is love’,” Baekhyun revealed as he sat back in his chair. Kai took a moment to process it, as if committing it to memory, before brightening up again and asking another question.

“When is your birthday?”

Baekhyun bit his lip and thought for a moment, blinking at the fact that it was… “next week.”

Kai’s eyes widened. He really hadn’t been expecting it to be so close but he smiled nonetheless. “You better make sure you clear all your schedules, alright?” Kai ordered in a silly stern voice. Baekhyun just chuckled and nodded.

They spent the rest of their time like this, sharing jokes and simply enjoying the company of each other.

-

Now that Baekhyun was completely alone in his dark apartment with the whole night ahead of him, he decided it was time to finally face what he had been hiding and repressing all along ever since his first meeting with Kai all those weeks ago.

It had first started out as a small, insignificant seed that he refused to acknowledge but against all odds, it budded. He tried to stop it, he tried to stomp it down—to refuse it from ever seeing the light of day but by then, it was far too late. It seemed that nothing could stop it from growing and growing until it enwrapped his heart in ways that only suffocated him and choked him. It wasn’t supposed to hurt this bad, was it?

It was impossible to ignore now and when Baekhyun finally decided to let go, and when he finally dared face it, everything came crashing down. The guilt and the pain along with the joy and the happiness—all of the overwhelming emotions crushed him straight to the core.

Why was he like this? He was supposed to go out a few times and let him off easy. What happened to the plan? His heart wasn’t supposed to beat so fast whenever he thought of Kai. He wasn’t supposed to look forward to their meetings the night before as he rolled giddily in bed. He was supposed to let go; he had to let go. But why was it that the mere thought of losing Kai pained him deeply, so deeply that the only way he could survive was to hold him even closer to his heart?

He had no choice but to face the reality now. The seed of love had bloomed, and he was in love with Kai.

Baekhyun barely had time to even begin digesting his newfound revelation before he received a text from Kai, asking if he was free for a date on his birthday.

Against all moral fibers inside of his body, Baekhyun texted back an ok.

Author's note:

Sorry for the ~somewhat~ late update guys ; u ; It took a long time to write haha~

I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter tbh but I hope that you enjoyed it ^^ There's only one more part left!

Also, one last thing~ I've been itching to write lately but I have no idea where to begin so, if you guys have any pairing ideas you'd like to see, you can leave me a suggestion anywhere I guess!!