The sound of heartbeat machine filled in the patients room despite its deadly silence . A small , short and pale figure lies on the bed , eyes still closed with his chest struggling to in oxygen .

Its been months since Kyungsoo was admitted into the hospital .

And he kept thinking.

Does Kai going to be there ?

Or he wont even bother to come and see him , lifeless…

On the bed, alone, only supported by a machine .

Would Kai hold Kyungsoo’s scaly and weak hands into his warm hands ?

Would Kai look into Kyungsoo’s pale face with those love beams from his eyes ?

Would Kai sit by Kyungsoo’s side everyday , hoping him to wake up someday ?

Would Kai even wait for Kyungsoo ?

Kyungsoo would love to see Kai by his side of the bed everyday praying to God to wake him up from this terrible nightmare that carries him away from Kai .

If there is no more hope , would Kai take away the machine from Kyungsoo’s body ?

Maybe Kai didn’t know or care that eventhough

Kyungsoo cant speak ,

Kyungsoo cant move ,

Kyungsoo cant open his eyes ,

But he could still hear him .

Kyungsoo cant remember the last time he opened his eyes ,

Does he even have the chance to open it again ?

If he does , would Kai be there ?

Would Kai be there , smiling , hugging Kyungsoo tightly and crying in happy tears , while thanking God for bringing him back to this world ?

No .

Everything was different from what Kyungsoo had imagined .

No warm hands enveloping his skinny ones.

No love beams looking to his face,

And there was no melodic voice calling his name , again and again .

Everything is just …

Different .

Kyungsoo could only hope Kai was there .

But he does not and will not .

Be .

There .

For .

Kyungsoo.

The last thing that Kyungsoo could hear from Kai was

“I’m sorry “

For the last time, Kai clasped his hands into Kyungsoo’s and he even kissed them. Kai whispered “I’m sorry” again, and again.

For the last time , Kai reached for Kyungsoo’s head and he lean closer. Their forehead touched and Kyungsoo could feel a slight warmth of Kai’s breath on his face. Kai slowly kissed Kyungsoo’s forehead while whispering “ I’m sorry “ again and again.

But then ,

Kai walked away from Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo could feel the coldness crawling into his bones.

Little that he knows, Kyungsoo cried but , he didn’t notice. Kyungsoo cried.

He even moved his fingers with the final energy that he had .

But, Kai wasn’t there .

By that time , suffocating is all Kyungsoo felt.

Machines stopped working .

Strands by strands of wire being pulled from Kyungsoo.

Something covered Kyungsoo’s face and not long after that , he cant hear anything anymore.

Then he realized , he’s no longer alive.

Day by day , Kyungsoo would visit Kai. He had been watching Kai from the clear glass window of his house. Sometimes Kai wasn’t there but if he was , he would be holding onto their photos and Kyungsoo could still feel the sadness eventhough he’s no longer alive. Kai would smile faintly on every single photos and then Kai would close his eyes tightly as if he cant accept the fate that Kyungsoo wasn’t there .Teardrops fell from Kai’s pale cheeks as Kyungsoo came closer. Kyungsoo tried to wipe them off but everytime he tried , he always fail as his hands came through Kai’s face like a swift of wind.

One day , when Kyungsoo came , Kai was trying to make some coffee. Kai looked at the manual of the machine as he doesn’t know how to use them. Everytime Kai tried to make coffee , he would fail. Kyungsoo felt pity for him and tried to help him but he cant. Kai cant see him or even hear him. Kai gave up when everything doesn’t works. Kai slid down the sink with his face buried in his arms. Kyungsoo flew closer and sat by Kai’s side. Kyungsoo tried to comfort him down but , of course , Kai didn’t know them.

On the other day when Kyungsoo came , Kai was preparing to eat on the dining table. In front of him was a plate of spaghetti kimchi. Kyungsoo smiled. He knew Kai missed him. Kai stood there, staring on the dish as if something was missing. Kai lifted his head , revealing the fact that he was crying. Kyungsoo lingered around Kai , trying to figure out what was wrong when suddenly Kai muttered

“ Kyungsoo . ,”

 Kyungsoo looked at Kai whose already contented with sorrow. Kyungsoo came towards Kai and placed his hands on Kai’s shoulder but his hands came through. Kyungsoo cant do anything but to feel the same thing.

The next time Kyungsoo came was quite late in the night. It was not a surprise that Kai wasn’t asleep yet. But what surprised Kyungsoo was Kai drinking alcohol. Plenty of alcohol bottles dangles everywhere on the counter. Kai cant handle too many alcohol. Kai never drinks alcohol unless he’s too desperate. Kyungsoo quickly went towards Kai and saw Kai was already drunk. Kai took a sip of the last liquor in the last bottle and walked away. Kyungsoo was very worried that he kept on following Kai. Kai stopped at the end of a corner. On the left was his room and on his right was Kyungsoo’s room. Kai slowly turned Kyungsoo’s door knob and the light. He slowly went inside the old , dusty room. He crawled on Kyungsoo’s tidy bed and buried his face on Kyungsoo’s pillow. A single tear slipped from Kyungsoo eyes as he kneeled by the bed. Kai whispered

“ The smell was still the same , Kyungsoo .. I miss you .. a lot .,” Kai hugged the other pillow and cried on them.

“ I miss you too ,” Kyungsoo thought and burst into tears.

That last day , Kyungsoo could remember. After a lot of time visiting Kai , this time it was different than before. Kai was standing by the window. He was crying and Kyungsoo could see his swollen eyes . Kyungsoo cant help but to sob at Kai. Then he tried to wipe Kai’s tears again. This time Kai held onto his cheeks as if he had felt his presence there. Kai stared at the window although he cant see Kyungsoo at all and he called Kyungsoo’s name , again and again. Kai turned around from the window , making his way out of the room.

That moment , short and priceless.

Kyungsoo appeared in front of Kai .

“Kyungsoo .. ,”

Kai cried harder. Kyungsoo smiled weakly and walked slowly towards Kai. Kyungsoo slowly enveloped Kai into a warm hug which he misses a lot. Kai buried his face at the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck and kept on crying. Kyungsoo pulled away and he placed his hands onto Kai’s puffy cheeks wiping away the tears. Kai blinked his swollen ayes and placed his hands onto Kyungsoo’s arm. Kyungsoo began to cry and he scooted closer towards Kai’s face , planting his last kiss on Kai’s pale lips which had lost its perfection.

The kiss didn’t last long. Only a few minutes have gone but it feels like eternity. It was the perfect kiss that Kyungsoo ever had. It was not a hard and pressured kiss but it was a calm and passionate kiss that Kai had longing for. Kyungsoo could taste Kai’s salty tears and he smiled weakly.

When Kyungsoo pulled away from the kiss , Kai’s swollen eyes were partly opened and he intertwined his hand with Kyungsoo’s. Kai’s eyebrows twitched and he shook his head. Kyungsoo knew that look better than anyone else.

He doesn’t want Kyungsoo to go away.

At that time , everything felt so real . As if Kyungsoo could really touches him , feels him and even kisses him. When Kyungsoo turned away from Kai, the only thing that he could hear was the 3 words that he was longing for so long to be heard.

“ Please don’t go , I love you ,”

Kyungsoo turned around and saw Kai kneeled in front of him with both of his hands held onto Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo slowly kneeled and Kai pulled him into a hug. Kyungsoo put on a sad smile and Kai kept on whispering.

“ I miss you a lot . Don’t go now. Please ? Please don’t leave me again . I beg you . Kyungsoo-yah , don’t ever leave me again. I love you very much ,”

Kyungsoo slowly back away from Kai but Kai refused to let him go.

“ Don’t leave me , please ?,”

 Kyungsoo could hear Kai was crying so hard that he sniffs every minute. Kai tighten his arms around Kyungsoo.

“ I missed you Kyungsoo . Please , don’t leave me , I love you ,”

Kyungsoo patted Kai’s back slowly , calming him down. When Kai calmed down , he pulled away slowly and Kyungsoo looked into his eyes with full of concern. Kai looked down and Kyungsoo lifted his chin. Kyungsoo smiled weakly and he speaks

“ I love you too ,”

Then , Kyungsoo’s body and legs were slowly fading away from Kai. Kai cried harder as he tried to touch Kyungsoo again. He called Kyungsoo’s name , again and again. He moved forward , trying to grab Kyungsoo’s hands , legs , shoulder , face but Kyungsoo had gone. Before Kyungsoo went away , finally , he had the chance to see Kai , to held Kai in his hands , to touch Kai , to kiss Kai and to say that he loves Kai too.

After that , Kyungsoo was just a memory.