A/N: to lanny01 Have fun^^

+SCHREIENT+

  “Mr. Kim? Mr. Kim?”

 

Yunho felt a sharp jab in his rib and he flinched. Annoyed, his eyes zeroed on his editor who was sitting across from him, wearing an equally annoyed expression on his face. “What?” the writer snapped.

 

“What do you mean what? I have been talking here for a long time and you we’re not listening to me,” Junsu answered with a false laugh as he nervously looked around them to see if there were people who can hear them. Ever the professional, Junsu refused to call him by his given name when they meet up for business.

 

“If you want me to listen to you, why don’t you just call me Jung Yunho like you always do? You’re always saying Mr. Kim, Mr. Kim – I thought you were talking to yourself.”

 

“Haha, funny,” Junsu muttered as he frowned at his friend. “We’re outside so this is business. You were the one who chose your penname so why are you complaining now?” he asked, referring to Jung Yunho’s alias, Kim Yunjae.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Yunho muttered, choosing to ignore the comment and to start cooperating. He’d give anything to be able to go back home right now. For hours since he came to this restaurant to discuss the book he just wrote, he had been restless and hadn’t stop looking at his watch from time to time.

 

Ever since that day when he had nearly made love to Jaejoong, the latter hadn’t shown up at his place. Jaejoong didn’t even pick up his calls which made the writer depressed. Since Jae had a habit of popping at his house, Yunho hoped that Jae would do that again and so he had holed up at his place. If it weren’t for the fact that he had to discuss the book with his editor and Junsu knew that they wouldn’t be able to do that at the writer’s house for Yunho had a habit of spacing out when he’s at home and not working, the writer wouldn’t have been dragged out of the house to this restaurant.

 

“So what were you saying?” Yunho prompted as he picked up his fork and started stabbing the steak in front of him. Usually he would be eating with gusto, but at his present state, with his emotions running rampant, the chunk of meat didn’t have its usual appeal.

 

“I was telling you that I’ve finished reading Pathos,” Junsu said, referring to the manuscript Yunho wrote. “I think…”

 

“It’s different?” Yunho supplied the word since the editor seemed to be lacking of it.

 

“Yes, it’s different but,” Junsu’s eyes sparkled as he recalled the story which he had finished editing the previous night. “  - but in a very good way.”

 

With this, Yunho’s brows rose. Junsu was an editor, but he’s one that didn’t give out compliments easily. Saying that the book he had written was different in a good way was something.

 

“It’s the first time I’ve seen you write something with a romantic theme,” Junsu said. “Even the beginning of the story wherein the baby was abandoned and he was picked up by a e, it was heartwarming and yet heartbreaking at the same time.”

 

“Really? I guess so,” Yunho commented, but he wasn’t really interested.

 

“Where did you get the idea for this piece?” Junsu inquired after a while. “The name of your protagonist, the one who fell in love with the businessman was Jaejoong. But, you have a friend named Jaejoong in real life right?” the editor continued thoughtfully, and then his eyes widened as he realized something. “Wait! You named the businessman after your real name so it means… it means…that you to Jaejoong…”

 

With Junsu finding out his secret, Yunho stared at his editor, wide-eyed. “I-is that very obvious?”

 

At his flustered look, Junsu chuckled. “Well yes, no – not really. Maybe not to those who do not know your real name. For them this may be just pure make-believe, but I guess for you that’s not the case right?”

 

“Yeah.” Yunho sighed heavily, his frustrations making his shoulder slump. “I’ve tried everything for that guy to know how I feel. But everything I did just wouldn’t get through him.” As a last resort, he unconsciously poured all his feelings in his new piece, used their real names in the novel, and now his editor found out.

 

“I just want Jaejoong to know that I’m seriously in love with him,” Yunho grumbled as he grabbed a glass of wine and drank it in one go.

 

“You want to express how you feel?” Junsu looked thoughtful for a moment before he grinned. “Well, Mr. Kim Yunjae, I have a better idea.”

 

“Really? What is it?”

 

“Have you ever heard of dedications?” the editor asked making Yunho stop to think and then a smile finally played in his lips. In all the years Jung Yunho wrote as Kim Yunjae, he’d never used the section for Authors to dedicate the book to someone.

 

“It’s like an all-out love confession huh?” Yunho asked as he nodded. “Well, I guess that’s the only way he’d ever understand.”

 

~

 

Slender hands, pale in his nervousness clung desperately onto the headset as he sang to the microphone covered by a screen to filter his voice. Today was the day he was to record his song, the debut song he himself had written. 

 

When you look at me my heart race

Was it just an illusion or was there really tenderness on your gaze?

You act like I’m someone you adore

But there were times when you hurt me and ignore…

 

I don’t know what I see in you

I don’t know why I feel that I needed you

And it hurts inside ‘cause it’s something I need to hide

I don’t know how it became so strong

I don’t know how I could carry on

And it’s so hard ‘cause it’s something I can’t control…

Don’t ask me –

 

“Stop!”

Startled, Jaejoong looked up to meet Yoochun in the eye. The president was standing on the other side of the glass and was frowning at him. “Jaejoong, you are too tense. I want you to sing the same way you did when you recorded the demo tape.”

“Sorry,” Jae apologized as he his lower lip. “I’ll try.”

“Don’t try. Do it,” Yoochun said. “Jae, I know you’re nervous, but I know you can do this. Forget the people – forget that you are recording now. Don’t look at us. Look at the face of that someone you wrote that song to. Imagine yourself singing to that person and only him. Okay?”

Jaejoong nodded and breathed deeply. He didn’t understand why but he had told Yoochun about Yunho. The president was an understanding man and he was glad that he did.

“I can do this,” he muttered to himself as he closed his eyes. He imagined Yunho standing in front of him with his gentle smile and Jae heard his heart breaking once more.

Jae I love you. Do you love me?

With trembling lips, the improved accompaniment started playing and he opened his mouth to start singing. This time, he sung with all the emotions raging deep inside of him.

 

Don’t ask me if I love you

Don’t ask me if I care

If you’re playing with my feelings

It’s more than I can bear

And if this one-sided romance

Won’t even be given a chance

Don’t ask me if I love you

If this dream of love won’t come true…

 

Yoochun stared at Jaejoong as he sang. His body was covered with gooseflesh as he listened to his new talent’s voice. It has been a month since he discovered Jaejoong and asked the guy to sign up with them and he was glad. Then and there he knew that not only the song would be a hit, Jaejoong would be too.

“President Park.”

Yoochun looked up to see his lover standing on the side and he smiled. “Editor Kim,” he greeted the new comer as his lover came to stand by his side.  

“Is that the new singer you were bragging about? The brokenhearted one?” Junsu asked as he stared and listened to the young man singing on the other side of the glass. “He’s goooooooood,” he commented as he stared at the handsome young man and then frowned. “Wait a minute…He looks familiar. What did you say his name was?”

“Kim Jaejoong,” Yoochun answered as he watched the many different emotions on his lover’s face. “What?”

“Kim Jaejoong? As in Yunho’s Kim Jaejoong?”

“Ehrm…yeah?” Yoochun answered, still puzzled. “Wait. How did you know about Yunho?”

 “Yunho’s the author I’m taking care of. He’s Kim Yunjae.” Junsu stared at Jaejoong once more. “Chunnie, help me get those two together. Knowing Yunho, he won’t be able to work properly without his Jae.”

“But I thought Yunho doesn’t love Jaejoong? Jae told me that Yunho’s dating his editor…” Yoochun’s eyes widened. “Wait, isn’t that you?”

“Yes, and you know very well who I’m dating right?”

“Oh…then this is a bad case of misunderstanding.”

“Or a bad case of idiots playing unrequited love,” Junsu stated as he touched the side of his temple which was beginning to throb.  

“So what are we going to do?” Yoochun asked and Junsu sighed. “What do you think?”

 

~

 

“What the heck did I let you talk me into?” Yunho grumbled as he looked at his crimson sweater with distaste. The color was just too cheerful, opposing his current mood. “You even made me wear this,” his said as he pouted.

Junsu rolled his eyes heavenwards as he counted to ten. Lately, the author’s taken to throwing unbelievable tantrums and mood swings. As expected, the new novel became not only a hit on the readers but also became the talk of town due to its ‘sheer amazingness’ as the critics put it. Due to this, there has been talk about making it into film and the writer has been invited to many shows such as this one.

Usually Yunho wouldn’t want to take part in any activity promoting his books. He was just interested in writing them and beyond that he didn’t care. Junsu told him however that Jaejoong would be watching this show and it’s his chance to get in touch with the other man.

Since their misunderstanding months ago, the two of them didn’t have the chance to speak to each other again. Yunho feared that Jaejoong hated him. 

“Mr. Kim Yunjae?” the production assistant called out and Junsu raised his hands and pointed at Yunho’s head. “Ah Mr. Kim Yunjae, you’re next. Please follow me,” the man continued and Junsu half dragged the writer with him as they walked after the assistant. When they reached the set, Junsu nearly pushed the writer and he glared at him when Yunho hesitated.

When Yunho obediently walked towards his seat on the set wearing a small smile as he was welcomed by the host, Junsu sighed with relief. Since that day when he discovered Yunho’s not so secret love, gone was their strictly professional relationship. Junsu felt more like a mother hen than an editor these days and the heartsick writer’s driving him insane. He just hoped that this plan Chunnie cooked up would work. If not, he’d lock the writer and the singer in a room and throw the key somewhere no one could ever find.

~

“Are you ready?” Yoochun asked and the singer beside him smiled nervously. “Just relax. This isn’t your first show,” the president continued reminding Jae that he should get used to appearing on television.

Since the day Don’t Ask Me If I Love You was released to the public and he was presented as Oracle’s new singer, Jaejoong had been whisked to one show or another, singing the heartbreaking ballad about unrequited love over and over again.

“Okay,” Jaejoong answered timidly as he sat down on one of the chairs as he waited to be called. Ahead of him was a monitor showing the actual show being taped, but he ignored it. His mind was focused on calming himself down and cheering himself a little bit. Since he walked out of Yunho’s house some months ago, he never returned there. On a whim, he changed his phone number and was now regretting his actions.

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter