Broken Cycle

Dusk

The light faded away slowly, bit by bit, piece by piece, as darkness threatened to take over. It disappeared as night came along, shadow horses galloping all over the town, dragging along with them the depths of hell in their trail. He stood at the window, looking out expressionlessly, blankly, almost like a dead zombie. The only sign of life that was given out was the slight rising of his well toned chest as he breathed in and out.

He stretched out and rested his hand gently on the window, the house being the only obstacle separating him from the hell that lurked outside. He sighed and sat on the ledge of the window, lost in his own thoughts as he waited. Waiting for what? Honestly, he had no idea. But there was nothing else he could do other than to wait.

Click.

The door knob was slowly turned and the door itself opened. He turned his head slowly and stared at the door with lifeless eyes as it slowly creaked open. The foot stepped into the house and a glimmer of light was spotted in those eyes. The door opened fully and the barrier was broken. He glanced at the person’s face and tried his best to fight against being dragged to hell, drifting somewhere in between.

“Number.”

He choked out in a strangled voice, briefly wondering what had happened to the once melodious angelic voice of his.

“3.” A slight hesitation, a caught in the voice. But no, it wasn’t the voice he wanted. His front broke and his eyes dropped to the ground, all signs of life leaving them.

“Jae hyung-.” The other lunged forward as if in an attempt to catch him. Too late. He was being dragged down, pitifully and mercilessly down the depths of hell. Who could save him? Actually, the other was supposedly able to. Only with three others. Him himself as one is useless to save Jaejoong, only when they teamed up was it then possible. The saving angels, disbanded, were of no use, for they had left him without even a word of goodbye.

He collapsed.

Twilight

Darkness finally enveloped the entire place. Blinking slowly, he opened his eyes to it before closing them again. There was no difference in whether his eyes were open or not, so why both? All that he would be facing is the same darkness. Feeling around, he realized that he was lying on a bed. Who’s bed? He was not sure.

The door opened and darkness was disrupted as a faint stream of light entered. The bed sank as he felt someone nearing him.

“Hyung-” No. Once again, it’s not the voice that he wished to hear. He shivered slightly as he felt something cold being pressed against his burning skin, the stark contrast between both temperatures shocking him silently. He quietly wondered how much time had passed before slightly cracking open his eyes to glance at the clock that was standing on the mantel. The clock’s hand pointed at 1. Seeing that it was dark outside, unless the curtains were drawn, it should be 1 in the morning. Jaejoong let out a soft moan as he felt a soft gentle hand caressing his hot cheek affectionately.

“Neh, Hyung-” The voice cut off as he lunged up suddenly, while shaking his head desperately, clutching a hand to his chest.

No. No. No. It’s not the voices of which he wanted to hear. No. His breath stuck in his throat as he tried to gulp in deep breaths, ears ringing with a fuzzy sound as the muffled voices of his other members trailed over him, gently penetrating but dissipating immediately after that, not even leaving an impression. When had there been 2 in the room, he did not know. Bending over, his body shook in a futile attempt to stop hyperventilating.

He could hear Junsu’s and Yoochun’s voices telling him to calm down, to stop destroying himself, both voices lined with tears and regret. But what could he do? How could he stop doing something which he had no idea he had even been doing it? Destroying himself? He wasn’t destroying himself or any of that sort, all he was doing was making sure that he was getting his punishment for his sins. The sin of betraying his beloveds’ hearts.

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