Why is the snow red? Did something spill? Strange. It looks so pretty... all of the snow that is falling. Beautiful, like a picture.  My hands... they're covered in red liquid. Why? What is it? There's a weird smell... it's as if something is burned... why does it smell like this? The sky... It looks so bright. Where am I? How did I get here?  I want to go home... but I'm so...sleepy... it's getting cloudy...

​"Byunghun, can you smile again?"

He did. "Can you smile for me now, too?"

"I'm already smiling, idiot..." 

He laughed lightly and ruffled my hair. "That's true, but I want to see your special smile, just for me." 

It's starting to feel cold. A strange feeling of sadness washes over me. Why does it feel so lonely? Why does it feel like I'm something's missing? I try to get up, but it hurts...Why does my body ache? My head is spinning like crazy and nothing makes sense. This liquid - it's blood. It's everywhere. It's streaming down my cheek from my head, but why? It's now freezing, and my body won't move. My mind tries to piece everything together - blood, snow, and car remains. A memory comes back to me now. 

"B...Byunghun?" My voice quiet, I managed to stand up, as I scanned the area briefly. Something's forgotten. There's something I can't remember. How do I know this? I watch the leafless and snow-covered trees wavering lightly by the cold air passing by. Why is there something so ordinary in an atmosphere so haunting? It's so cold, where am I? Why is there blood everywhere? Where is Byunghun? Why does it hurt so much? Byunghun...where are you? 

Pain. That's what I felt when I came crashing down, unable to continue standing. It hurts but it feels numb. Everything feels numb; including my heart. It's not too late, is it?

"It's not too late, Changhyun. We can still make it in time." 

"The previews started 10 minutes ago, and the theater is still 5 minutes away. You've been getting every light red." 

"Not anymore."

​The car sped up, pinning me to my seat. "You just ran a red light!"

He smirked and looked at me, giving me a wink. A car coming from the other direction honked suddenly. "Byunghun! Keep your eyes on the road! Not on me!" 

"Sorry." 

A buzzing noise, a sound so irritating. Without even bothering to look at the time, I reached out and yanked the cord out of the wall in frustration. Why did it have to discontinue my dream, a few seconds of living in a memory? Those small, precious times we use to share, the little happy moments we used to have, all gone. I lied back down and closed my eyes, and thought about my dream; my memory. 

"We're still not going to make it, even if you drive like a maniac." 

"Try me." 

"What? No- Byunghun!"

"Ricky!" 

Damn it, Yunni, why now? You leave me alone when I'm having a nightmare, and you're as annoying as a chirping bird when I'm trying to remember what happiness felt like. I guess that's the "joy" of children. 

"What do you want?"

"Wake up! It's a special day!"

"How is this, in any way whatsoever, a special day?" 

Silence. I opened my eyes to see her glaring at me with tearful eyes, and I couldn't help but to sigh. She began bawling, while calling me mean. I guess my tone was a bit harsh, but today I really don't care. After apologizing heartlessly, she left my room. Why was she up this early anyway? She's always sleeping when I leave for school.

I sighed as I looked at my alarm clock, forgetting that I had unplugged it earlier. Having no idea as to what time it was, I quickly got dressed for school and then rushed into the kitchen. I peered at the clock that was hanging on the wall above the stove and let out a relieved sigh. Six-fourty in the morning, thirty minutes until the bus was due at the end of the block. I decided I might as well have a normal breakfast, instead of the usual piece of toast I have every morning. I quickly turned the stove on to let it heat up and then got a pan out of one of the cabinets, and a carton of eggs out of the refrigerator. I cracked a few and poured them into the pan. I threw the shells away and returned the carton to the fridge. While the eggs were cooking, I decided to put a waffle in one side of the toaster and a piece of bread in the other. 

I went back to the eggs, stirring them thoughtlessly until they were done. I grabbed a plate and put the eggs on it, and did the same with the waffle and toast, and began eating my breakfast. I ate slowly, so that the time would pass by faster and I wouldn't have to wait as long to leave the house. Once I was done, I looked at the clock again. Six-fifty-three. Seventeen minutes until the bus comes. To kill the time, I decided to do the dishes, since there was nothing better to do.

However, there weren't many dishes to clean and it ended up taking only five minutes. I went back into my room and picked out a coat to wear, peering outside my window and guessing how cold it would be out today. It didn't look that cold. I grabbed my brown, light coat and got my backpack. 

I went out the front door and was met with the cold wind, much colder than I had expected. But when can you ever judge weather without being in it? You can watch the news forecast, but nothing will ever be completely accurate. A number may give you a wrong impression, it can make you expect something different than reality.

It's funny, when the weather seems to fit your emotions. But in reality, the sky doesn't cry when you cry, and the clouds don't go away when you're happy. If you curse the sun for shining, it will not get darker. If you shiver from the new frost, it only warns you of a colder season. When you feel numb to the world, and the snow starts falling, it is only irony, and nothing more. 

But that irony can seem so real, that you can't help but wonder about possibilities. You can't help but feel the weather is mocking you, trying to make you feel worse. The cold wind blows harder and it makes you feel like the world is against you. 

I let out a sigh and I can see my breath. There's no snow to prove its cold, and the wind is not visible. It's ironic, that on the surface, there's no proof of bitter weather, and on the outside, there's no proof of bitter feelings. The weather matches me perfectly, but no one can see that. So I can't help but wonder, is it really just irony? 

I looked out ahead, and noticed someone standing at the corner, where the bus is suppose to pick me up. Approaching the corner quietly, he suddenly turned around and looked completely startled, almost like I scared him. But then he smiled.

"Hey, you're the guy I met at the park the other day, right?"

I looked him up and down, nothing familiar about him. But then I saw, hidden underneath his casual black beanie, a strand of red.

"Yeah." 

"I don't think I got your name." 

I glanced at him with a blank expression.

"Uh...I'm Jonghyun, but they call me Changjo. You?"

"...Ricky." 

"Ricky. That's a nice name. I like it. It sure is cold today, isn't it? " 

I sighed quietly. We kept talking - he, kept talking, until the bus arrived, what felt like hours later. I got on first, and went towards the back, where I normally sat. I reached into my pocket, only to find it empty. 

Great. I left my iPod at home. 

Jonghyun, or Changjo, came walking down the isle and stopped next to my seat, wearing a smile. For a second I debated rather or not to move my stuff, but I didn't want to be rude. 

Awkwardly moving my bag onto my lap, he instantly sat down next to me and started talking again. 

"When's the bus arrive at school?"

"Less than an hour, if we're not late." 

He was quiet for a moment. The radio on the bus was always kept on, one reason I bring my iPod. He seemed to be listening to it.

 "I like this song." 

I turned my attention on the music, but it was unfamiliar. I glanced out the window. It had began snowing slightly. Jonghyun wasn't talking anymore, so I spent my time staring out the window. I had subconsciously remembered the route, and after the last stop, the driver took a different turn. I figured it didn't mean much, but 10 minutes later we had gone in a complete circle. 

Finally, the bus stopped. The doors opened, and someone got on. A new student? Two in one day? 

Curiosity got the best of me, and I glanced at the boy boarding the bus. My heart sped up in a second. This was not possible. It could not be.

Niel.

So..many..freaking..details... I'm so sorry.