Thursday, December 24 2009

I was sitting on the swing. The snow kept falling down. I felt so cold. It was cold, not just my body, but my heart was cold too. My heart broke into pieces. The snow is same with my heart. It’s cold. The snow is different with my heart. It’s white but my heart black. I fell into the darkness. Oh, now I know. Everyone has their own weakness. I never thought if Jang Hyun Seung can feel this hard. The most popular guy in his school is now crying like a baby because of his parents is divorcing. I shouldn’t cry. I shouldn’t cry. I can’t cry and I won’t cry. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to do. I just can spill out my trouble into this diary. I need a hand. I need someone. I can’t see the path. Where’s my way to get out from these all? I need a hand. I need someone that would tell me to close my eyes and tell me everything would be alright. I can understand. I was too cold to the world. They won’t accept me that easy.

I couldn’t feel any snowdrop on my hair. Something was blocking its way to my body. I looked up to see a pink umbrella. I saw a girl hand offered me gloves but I refused. It was my classmate that I didn’t really know her. I’ve never talk to her. Not even once. “You might get fever” she said as she sat on the swing next to me, held the grip and stared at me. “I don’t care” I said coldly, as cold as the weather. I didn’t look back at her but kept my eye to the front. I avoided eye contact with her. That was uncomfortable. She kept staring at me without even blinking. But I’ve to admit that her stare is really warm. It was warm.

“What now?” I asked annoyed but she just smiled. “I’m Kim Hyun Ah” she said and smiled proudly as she knew that I loose. “I didn’t ask” I replied. “I know. But I know you want to know” she smiled sweetly but I didn’t put any interest with her.

“What are you doing here? At the late of night with full of snow.” She said and hugged herself to keep herself warm. “It’s really not your business” I answered and rolled my eyes. “What if I want to know?” she asked and raised her eyebrows. “What if I won’t tell you?” I asked back. “I will make you tell me” she said proudly. “Whatever” I said and rolled my eyes in annoyed. “You can tell me what has happened so you won’t feel all the problems alone. You can share it to me too” she smiled with her angelic smile. I kept silent. “I can’t believe if Jang Hyun Seung was crying” she chuckled and I widened my eyes. How could she… I heard she chuckled again. What an annoying girl.

“How did you know my name?” I asked in disbelieve. “You’re popular. I heard your name on the every corner of the school. I saw you everywhere. How could I don’t know you?” she giggled and I finally smiled. “Whoa! You smiled!!” she clapped her hands and my face turned back to poker face.

“You look cuter when you smile than you are” she smiled and blushed. “Are you going to say something?” I smirked as I heard her compliment. “Nope!” she answered quickly and shook her head cutely. What cute?

“Okay. You may go now.” I said coldly as I remembered my parents. “Don’t be so rude… By the way, do you know me?” she asked and wiggled her eyebrows. “Yes. You’re Kim Hyun Ah. You may go now” I said and stared at the white snow. “How did you know?” she asked stupidly. “How can you be that idiot? You told me your name!” I exclaimed. She covered her face in embarrassment and pouted. I laughed while holding my stomach because of her stupidity.

“What are you laughing at?” she asked. I laughed harder than before. She hit my arms and pouted. I stop laughing.

“You stop now?” she asked and I nodded. “I didn’t know you could laugh.” She continued. “I’m a human too!” I exclaimed. “Is that so? You’re a human? Ah, then you have a heart. You wouldn’t be that strong to hold the painful things alone, or else you are a robot without a heart. So, mind to tell me now?” she asked and I told her my problems

“It was the first time I met her…” I mumbled under my breath and sighed. I placed my old diary back to the box that full of memories. I placed it under my bed. I washed my face and stared at my shadow in the mirror. “Why I’ve to leave you? Why? Why I have to leave you????” I talked to my shadow with full of emotions. I smacked the mirror till it broke into pieces. It’s just same with my heart. Broken glasses won’t back into a beautiful one. My heart, that broke into pieces…

I decided to have a sleep since I just slept for 4 hours these days. I rested my head on the pillow and my back on my king-sized bed. It’s time to sleep. I’ve to work tomorrow and I have to find her. No matter what happen I have to do it. Or else, my life will be like this forever.

Ajik nan neol itji mothago
Modeun geol da mitji mothago
Ireohke neol bonaeji mothago oneuldo

Dashi mandeuleo bolke uri iyagi kkeut naji anhge aju ginagin
Salgacheul pago seumyeodeuneun sangshilgameun jamshi mudeodulke
Saero sseo naeryeoga shijakeun haengbokhage utgo ittneun neowa na naega nal
Ddeonaji mothage baekyeongeun chulguga eobtneun jobeun bang an

Amureohji anhge nege kiseu hago
Dalkomhan neoui gyeoteul ddeonagajil mothae
Urin kkeut iraneun geon eobseo Ireohke nan ddo (Fiction in Fiction)
Itji mothago (Fiction in Fiction)
Nae gaseum sok-e kkeut naji anheul iyagil sseugo isseo

‘Uh… Annoying phone’ I thought. I looked at the caller ID. It’s Ms. Park, my manager. I picked up the phone lazily. “Good Morning Mr. Jang. I’m sorry for disturbing you but we have a sudden meeting with our client today.” She said throughout the phone. “What? Is he important?” I asked lazily and rubbed my eyes. “Yes he is Mr. Jang. He’s really important to our company. He wanted you to come, Mr. Jang” she said, half begged.

“I got it. I will be there in 30 minutes” I hang up and rushed to my bathroom and took a quick shower. My driver opened the car door for me so I can get in. He drove me to my office in 15 minutes. “Sorry if I’m late” I said to Ms. Park as I arrived at my office. “You are actually late for 1 minute 23 seconds” she said and stared at her watch. I rolled my eyes and walked passed her. “Where is he? What is his name?” I asked. “Mr. Kim from the other day, Mr. Jang” she said politely and I nodded. I headed to my meeting room and everyone was already there now.

“Annyeonghaseyo, Mr. Kim, Mr. Park, Mr. Gong, Mr. Han, Mr. Hwang, and Mr. Jung. I’m sorry if I’m late” I bowed to the older men. “That’s okay Mr. Jang. Let’s start the meeting” Mr. Hwang said and they all nodded. They sat on their own chairs and I started to explain the presentation. It’s boring but I took it seriously. It’s a work. This is the last massage of my dad.

We all shook hands as the meeting ended. I smiled brightly because Mr. Kim will invest to our company. It’s good if I can have him as a partner. I made my way to my personal office. I took my diary and made my way outside of my office to have lunch. I opened my diary while walking to a café near here. I found this page.

Wednesday, July 28 2010

It was a sunny day. Oh yeah, this is summer though. The sun was standing brightly, shined the world. I and Hyuna were on the beach. She played with the water while I lied down under the sun. Of course I was shirtless. I showed my beautiful abs that made Hyuna gasped.  Did I tell you diary? I was getting closer to her. We are best friend. She’s my first friend. I mean, real friend. I’m so glad that she came to my life. Even though she’s annoying sometimes, she is still the best. Some of my friends told me if she likes me. But I never care about it because she’s like my own little sister to me. No more. I don’t want to ruin our friendship if I reject her.

We both back to our room in our hotel. We took a trip in Jeju for one week. So, we have fun here for the whole week.

“Hyuna-ah… I’m sorry for leaving you” I muttered as I entered my favorite café here. This is our favorite café before I moved to Canada and moved back here. I’m so idiot. I’m such an idiot.

Friday, October 1 2010

“Hyunseung-ah! Let’s go to Autumn Festival!!” Hyuna exclaimed and tugged my shirt. I sighed as she kept tugging my shirt. “But, that festival is just for a couple” I said. “Anio! We should come!” she replied. “But we aren’t a couple!!” I said and she pouted. “You’re right. I can’t come. I should find a boyfriend soon or else, I will be forever alone. Hahaha…” she chuckled bitterly. So, is that right? She likes me? Anio…. It won’t happen. “Let’s go somewhere else then!” she said and dragged me to my car. I just nodded because I didn’t want to see her sad. “Where do you want to go?” I asked and started the machine. “Everywhere” she said simply and looked outside the window. She was falling asleep. I can see her angelic face. I smirked and drove her to somewhere.

“Hyun-ah!! Wake up!” I said and shook her body. It was success. She was awake. “We’re here” I said and smiled. She still closed her eyes and got off of the car. “Whoaaaa….. This is beautiful!!” she amazed by the views here. “Let’s go inside, shall we?” I asked and she nodded happily. When I dragged her to come inside, she stopped in the half way. “We aren’t a couple. We can’t enter. That’s okay Hyunseung-ah. I will come here next year with my boyfriend! I swear I will get a boyfriend as soon as possible. You don’t need to force yourself if you don’t want to. You should go with your girlfriend.” She said and lowered her head. “Listen! First, I don’t have any girlfriend. Second, I want to go with my best friend here. Third, we can pretend as a couple for a day!” I said and she looked up. “Chinca???” she smiled brightly and jumped around. “Kaja!!” I said and she nodded. We had so much fun there. We did lovey dovet moment like a real couple. We even fed each others. I didn’t know why I’m being like this.

I drove her home. She kept smiling like insane. Is she that happy? Well, it’s good then. “We arrive.” I said and she just nodded. She didn’t get out from my car but just stayed in silence. “Hyunseung…” she called my name. “Mmmh?” I asked and looked at her. “How can I say this? I… I like you…” she said while blushing. I didn’t reply. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to respond. “Ah, I know the answer. Just never mind. Good night best friend…” she said and opened the door but I stopped her. “I-It’s not like that” I stuttered. “It’s okay Hyunseung-ah. You don’t need to pretend to like me back. We were pretending like a couple is enough for me. Thanks for the wonderful day and goodnight.” She said and ran off to her house. I saw she cried. Jang Hyun Seung. Why you make her cry when she always makes you happy?

It was one of my biggest mistakes. I’ve made her cry. I’ve made her let out her tears when she made me let out my laugh. If time could back, I would wipe her tears and say that I love her. But it’s too late, isn’t it?

“May I take your order sir?” a waitress came to me and asked me my order. I just ordered my favorite cappuccino. I paid my drink and waited for it while thinking about the girl that I’ve missed and love so much.

Tuesday, December 7 2010

It’s December again. I and Hyuna didn’t talk anymore since that incident. She avoided me. I have so many problems now. After I chose mom after my parents divorced, she passed away 2 days ago. Hyuna didn’t even come. I sat on the swing, in the playground. This place is our first meeting place. I felt so lucky to have her in my side but she’s gone now. It’s my fault.

I burst in tears and I didn’t bother to stop. Then someone cupped my face and wiped my tears with handkerchief. “H-Hyuna…” I stuttered. “Yeah it’s me. Long time no see best friend!” she said and sat on the swing next to me. “I heard…your mom passed away.” She said and I didn’t reply. “I feel bad for you, so I came here” she continued. “You didn’t come” I said coldly. “I came. But you didn’t know” she smiled. “Just cry if you want to cry. I will be here for you. I won’t go anywhere” she smiled and I burst in tears. She hugged me tightly and patted my back

Hyun-ah, I promise if I were able to see you again, I won’t let you go anywhere.

Saturday, January 1 2011

Hyuna confessed to me again. What to do? Actually, I like her too. But I’m not sure with my feeling until now! Am I going to reject her again? But, what if I lose my chance? What if she moves on and likes another guy? I can’t! Oh my god… Please tell me the truth! I like her or no?

Hyuna tapped my shoulder and I looked at her nervously. I knew she was waiting for my answer. I gulped nervously and looked down. We stayed in awkwardness for a moment. I must be strong. I’m the man here.

“Hyuna-ah…” I started

“Ne?” she was waiting for the best answer. I know it from her eyes.

“I’m sorry… I like you too but I’m not sure with my feeling yet” I said and made her disappointed.

“Ah… I know… I will wait for you” I was shocked. She will wait for me? She’s just too perfect but why I can’t accept here?

“You aren’t for me, Hyuna-ah… You’re too perfect…” I muttered. “Nobody is perfect. Let’s go to the canteen now, shall we?”

I putted my diary on the table and closed my eyes till I heard a voice. “Sir, here is your cappuccino, thank you for--- ah mianata! Mianata!!” the waitress said as she spilled my cappuccino on my diary. My diary, that diary is full of memories, now wet because of a cup of cappuccino. I quickly stood up. I lost my tempered and shouted at the waitress. “How could you be that clumsy???? How long you’ve been here????! The owner of this café should fire you!” I shouted at her and sat back on my chair. Everyone was looking at us. That waitress seemed so scared by me but, who cares?

Then another voice asked her what happened here. Maybe she’s her manager or even the owner. Then she asked me what was wrong. I stood up again. “She spilled the cappuccino on my book---“ I was speechless. I can’t say anything. She was speechless too. “Hyuna…” “Hyunseung…” we said in the same time. I couldn’t say anything more but hugged her quickly. Everyone was staring again. After a few minutes, they clapped their hands. I let out a single tear. I broke the hug and stared into her deep eyes. I was leaning closer. She didn’t move a bit, even an inch. When my lips were about to touch hers, someone broke it. “What’s going on here?” I saw a man walked closer and stood beside Hyuna. I loosen my grip at her as I saw he placed his arm on her waist. Why you didn’t remove his arm Hyuna?

“Who is he Hyuna?” I asked and pointed to the guy next to her. She didn’t reply me and looked down. “Hyuna, who is he?” that guy asked the same question as me. I don’t know why but I felt jealously inside me. “Junhyung-ah…” so, his name is Junhyung? Who is he to her to be exact?

“Hyuna! Answer me!” I raised my voice. I was afraid if they have a relationship.

“He is… my fiancé.” She said. I gasped. I can’t believe my ears. Is this karma? For making her wait for me too long? Is this karma? Can anyone tell me? Can anyone save me???!

I didn’t know what happen next. Everything went blur as I felt I hit a chair. I can feel the pain but it was gone now.

“Hyunseung-hyung!! You awake!” one of my best friend, Yoseob exclaimed. I have no clue where I am and why I’m here now. “Yoseob-ah… Where am I?” I asked and rubbed the back of my neck. It pained. “You’re in the hospital! You fainted!” he said and sat next to me. “Why did I faint?” I asked still o clue about it. “Don’t you remember if you met Hyuna?” he answered me and Kikwang hit his head. “Yah!  What was that for??” he said and pouted. “Where’s Hyuna?” I said. “Where’s Hyuna??” I repeated because no one replies me. “Where’s Hyuna???????!!!!!” I got frustrated so I left the room. All of them were calling me back but I didn’t bother to look at them. I found Hyuna sat on the corner of the cafeteria. When I was about to approach her, someone came and brought a tray with the food on it. It was Junhyung. I wanted to leave but I thought about it again. I won’t have another chance if I leave now. I won’t. I bravely walked to her. She noticed so she looked at me. I was in front of her now. I cleared my throat and said, “Hyuna-ah… I just want this to be clear. Even if you have fiancé or even husband now, I just want to say that I love you. I’m so sorry if I made you wasted your times for nothing but kept waiting for me that can’t accept you. I was wrong. It was one of my biggest mistakes. When I left Korea, it’s not my choice! It’s my dad’s! Please understand me… I love you… No one can replace you. This is my turn to wait for you. I will wait till the end of my life. I will surely wait.” I cried hard. I never cry in front of people but I didn’t care.

“Hyunseung-ah…”

“I will wait…” I repeated

“You don’t have to wait, Hyunseung-ah… I’m all yours…” she said and hugged me. She sobbed in the hug. I hugged her back and patted her back. But I broke the hug as I remembered that guy. “You said… You have fiancé…” I said and looked at him. She bitted her lips and looked down. “Hyuna-ah… I will let you go if you to love each others. It doesn’t matter.” Junhyung said and smiled. Hyuna looked up. I know she was happy but worried too.

“Oppa…”

“You know how much I love you right? I want you to be happy. I wish you the best. Take care of her hyung…” Junhyung said and looked at me. I didn’t know how can he say something like that? I mean… If he really loves her, he won’t let her go right?

“Oppa…”

“Hyuna… Just go with him before I change my mind” he said in serious tone. Hyuna turned to me and give me a big hug. It’s when we back together.

“Yah… How could you remember these all and wrote the memories here?” Hyuna asked and read his wet diary.

“It’s because I love you” he smirked and she hit his hand. “Yah!”

“I don’t know. I’m a genius” I said and she just agreed.

“It’s wet” Hyuna said

“I know. But I don’t need it now… I have you… My now and future” I smirked and kissed her passionately

I've finished it now. Finally! -_- It's so long, is it? You know... I'm really lazy to continue but yeah.. I have to complete it for you. And, here you go~ My first 2hyun oneshot. I'm going to write another oneshot of 2hyun in my oneshots collection book 1. Here you go: miss_lollipop's Oneshots Book 1