I fidgeted with the knife in my hand as I attempted to focus on cutting the apple. The fact was only one thing or rather, one person had been on my mind these few days - Leeteuk. Ever since Siwon broke the news to me, I could not stop thinking about it. It did not help that I have two weeks of break before starting on the next album for another artiste. That gave me ample of time to think about things I would rather not think about.

"Ouch." I flinched as the knife missed the apple and sliced across my palm instead, drawing a long, red line.

I put down the knife in exasperation. Good, now I could not even do a simple task of cutting an apple. Damn that Leeteuk.

"It's just an apple, what's taking you so long?" Heechul asked as he walked into the kitchen, not being able to wait any longer for his apple.

He widened his eyes as he saw me holding onto my bleeding left hand.

"God, what are you doing letting the blood flow like that?" He hurried grab my hand and hold it under the tap, allowing the water to wash the blood away.

"Wash it clean," He instructed, "I will go get the medicine and bandage."

I sighed as I plopped my other hand on the counter and rest my head on it.

"Just call him already, damn it." Heechul said in frustration as he came in with the bandage and medicine. He turned off the tap and pulled me onto the stool by the side, "I have quite enough of you mopping around the house."

"I can't help it." I muttered, as he applied the medicine on the wound. I flinched as the I felt the burning sensation when the medicine touched my skin.

"I know. But you can get over it." He retaliated as he wrapped the bandage around the palm skillfully.

"Hyung..."

Heechul sighed, "Kyu, I am serious. I am not going to have you mopping around the house like you did when you first came. It took me one whole year to get you out of it, I am not watching you sink back in again."

I was about to reply when my phone rang. The tingling notes interrupting our conversation. I stood up and walked towards the kitchen counter. Thinking that it was from work, I picked up the flashing phone.

"Hello." I greeted the caller, "Kyuhyun speaking."

There was a moment of silence.

"Hello?" I repeated in a louder voice.

"Hello Kyu," The caller replied, "Leeteuk here."

My whole body froze as I heard the familiar voice, not believing that he would call, not believing that I was actually hearing his voice, or the fact that I could still recognize his voice in an instant after three long years. Why did he call me? What did he want? Thoughts filled my mind. I wanted to say something, but I could not find the voice. It was like I was choking on something. I could feel my legs buckling as I leaned on the counter for support. I stood there, not saying anything, with Heechul’s worried eyes on me.

Without another word, I hung up quickly. I switched it off immediately and placed it on the table, afraid that he would call again.

“Is it him?” Heechul asked warily.

I nodded, my body still quivering.

“What did he say?”

“I… I hung up before he could say anything.” I replied, clenching his fists tightly.

I must have looked horrible because Heechul said nothing. Instead, he held on to my arm gently and led me to the living room, settling me on the bright red sofa. I sank into it, noticing the softness of it for the first time. Or perhaps I was just looking for something to distract me from the call.

Heechul put his arms around my shoulders, "It's all right." He said soothingly.

I took in deep breaths, trying to compose myself. It's all right, I told myself. Forget about it. Forget about the call... And the tingling feeling in my heart.

But funny how the more you wanted to forget about something, the more it occupied your mind and your heart.

-

I could not remember what else I did for the rest of the day. As soon as dinner was over I tucked myself into bed. Only sleep could take the troubles away from me.

I only dared switched on the phone then, and only because I had no choice, it's the only mode of communication my colleagues had with me. I scanned through the texts and the voice messages carefully, half afraid that I would stumbled upon one from him. But it happened anyway.

"Hello Kyu," I half considered deleting the message, but could not stop my curiousity to listen to what he had to say, "I must have surprised you... Siwon gave me your number, he said I might want to do some explaining to you. And I agree with him." Damn that Siwon, "When... Whenever you are ready, just give me a call, all right? I... The weather is turning warm, remember to open the windows to air your room, lest you get those nasty rashes again."

The beep sound indicated the message had come to an end. I pressed the button and deleted it immediately. Because if I did not do that, I would probably be repeating it again and again just to hear his voice. What a weakling.

His last words lingered on me. How he still remembered that I like to keep my windows closed. How he remembered that I get rashes when during summer times. And then I remembered how he would fuss over me, applying creams to those red bumps and making sure he aired the rooms every once in a while. A warm feeling creeped into my heart, it felt good to know he still cared.

But my mind disagreed. Who was he to care? Who was he to call so abruptly and interrupt my life once again? Who was he to come back after having disappeared for three years?

And my heart answered my mind. He was the one that still mattered despite the he did and the pain he caused.

--

The next few days passed by in a blur. I busied myself - with both necessary and unnecessarily things. Since Heechul was busy with promotions of his new movie, I spend most of the days at home alone. I would compose music the moment I woke up - I have wrote at least 20 songs within these few days, definitely a record for myself. And when my eyes got blurry from staring at those notes, I would wash the dishes, and mop the floor, and wipe the windows and even scrub the bathroom. Till they were all sparkling clean. Anything to keep myself busy.

And I would dragged Siwon out for lunch (not before pouncing on him for giving Leeteuk my number of course) and Ryewook for dinner and I would call Sungmin and talk to him till I felt tired enough to sleep. Nights when Sungmin was busy, I would target Donghae. Thank God for the vast number of members we have.

As for tonight, I have decided to tag along with Heechul for Yesung's new musical. Even thought I had already attended it last week. It beats not having anything else to do.

"Hyung, we are going to be late." I deadpanned as I knocked on his door. Seriously, how vain could a man get?

"It's normal for a superstar like me to be fashionably late." Heechul said with annoyance as he finally stepped out of his room.

I rolled my eyes. I stepped out of the house and got into the car, followed by Heechul who was still busy admiring himself in his small pocket sized mirror.

"Why is it that I have to drive every time we go out together?" Heechul complained as he put aside his mirror and stepped on the engine.

I leaned my head against the window, "Because you are a good driver, hyung. And I am too lazy."

I was glad that Heehul's hands were kept busy on the steering wheel, because other wise they would be on my head, with a bit more force.

The rest of the ride passed in silence, as I was genuinely tired. Sleep had not been fruitful nowadays, and I got jumpy everytime my phone rang. People who knew no better would probably think I installed a bomb to my phone. I sighed softly as I stared at the beautiful view outside of the car. The street lights shone brightly, liting out the dark roads as people strolled along it. I reminded myself that I needed to come take a walk  here some time soon.

Before I knew it, the car pulled to a stop. We both got out of it, and Heechul handed his keys to the valet. Cameras started flashing at us almost immediately (more at Heechul than me of course). I lowered my head, walked as quickly as I could towards the concert hall, while Heechul stopped to pose at almost every camera. The reporters would probably think that he was being polite, but I knew better that he was just a camwhore. I signed in relief as we finally stepped into the concert hall. Excess attention was something I could not get used to, despite the many years in Super Junior.

"Look, they are there!" Heechul pointed at Siwon and Sungmin who were sitting at the first row of the hall. I hurried towards them, half afraid that anymore people would recognised us, while Heecul of course, held his head high and beamed like a sun as people gathered around him asking for his signatures.

"Kyuhyun!" A few voices exclaimed. I smiled awkwardly at the group of ladies oogling at me, and quickly scribbled a few signatures on their notebooks/bags/random pieces of paper and practically scurried to my seat.

"Kyuhyunnie?" Siwon widened as he saw me.

"Kyu? Yesung told me you wouldn't be here today." Sungmin asked, an edgy tone to his voice.

I rolled my eyes, "Thanks for the very welcoming greeting." I said sarcastically as I settled down on my head, beside Sungmin.

Heechul came right after, sitting down beside me, "What's with the two of you? You looked like you just saw ghost."

"Kyu... Yesung thought you aren't coming today... So he invited..." Siwon's words were cut off as a small commotion broke out at the entrance.

I turned and stretched my neck to catch what was going on. All I could see was a bunch of reporters circling around someone, their cameras flashing non stop. Which poor guy was that?

It took three security guards to usher the reporters out of the concert hall. When they dispersed, I could finally catch a sight of who the big shot was, and my jaws dropped to the ground.

It was him. Him.

I turned back staring anxiously at Siwon.

"I was about to tell you that Yesung thought you aren't coming today, so he invited Teuk hyung." Siwon explained, his hand ruffling his hair helplessly.

I could feel myself panicking, as I looked at Heechul for help. He put his hand on my shoulder, "It's all right, Kyu. Don't panic, hyung is here."

I wanted to stand up and leave this damn place but my legs refused to budge, I was frozen to my seat, "I want to leave." I whispered weakly.

Heechul shook his head, "All the reporters are here. If you leave so abruptly, they will make a story out of this."

My hands were practically trembling at this point. There had been a rumor about me and Leeteuk after Super Junior ended and we moved it together. Right, the last thing I needed was me and him on the front page of the entertainment news.

"Then what?" I asked, my voice hoarse.

"He will be sitting beside Siwon. There's me and Siwon in between the two of you. It will be okay. He will not have the chance to talk to you if you don't want to. If he attempts anything I will punch him in the face." Heechul reassured firmly.

I leaned back in my seat, pressing hard against the chair, wishing that there was a secret compartment behind and if I pressed hard enough I would just disappear into it.

"We are here. It will be all right. If anything goes wrong, you let me know and I will get you out of here, fast. Okay?" Sungmin said, trying to my mind at rest.

But rest was the last thing my mind was. I did not dare to move, knowing that he was approaching, and would be here anytime. I saw Sungmin stood up and knew that he was standing not three steps away from me.

"Hi hyung," Sungmin greeted.

"Long time no see, hyung." Siwon said. I dared not turn, but they were probably hugging each other at the moment.

Even Heechul managed a cold greeting to him but I remained silent. But damn it that he decided to approach me. The pair of legs in front of me indicated that he was right here.

"Hi... Kyu." He said softly.

I had no choice but to look up. I could not really believe that he was really standing right in front of me. He gave me a small, nervous smile. I could tell that time had not left it's mark on him. His hair was darker, and he was tanner but other than that, he still looked the same. The same beautiful eyes, the same amazing dimples and the same ridiculously y jawlines. And at the moment, I hoped that I looked good enough. Good enough for what I did not know. Perhaps good enough to show that I was still doing well without him, or good enough to make him regret his decisions, or good enough for him to long for me once again. I mentally slapped myself for those useless thoughts.

Sungmin nudged me, hinting me to say something.

"H... Hi." Was all I managed to squeeze out.

"Come, sit here, hyung. The show is starting." Siwon hurriedly pulled Leeteuk to the seat beside him, much to the relief of everybody.

The room darkened and the curtains rolled back. And the music came on. But frankly, I had no idea what was going on at all. I did not even remember seeing Yesung. Throughout the two hours, my mind was on nothing but him. I did not dare to steal any glances of him though, afraid that our eyes would meet. I wondered if he did turn to look at me. I wondered if his mind was on me too. I wondered a whole lot of things and then the lights came on, and everybody applaud, signalling the end of the musical.

I clapped a few times for manners sake and then I quickly stood up and hurried out of the place. This was more than I could handle for tonight, if he was to approach me and talked to me, I might just faint. I walked swifly, afraid that I would be caught in the crowd and that would slow me down, and afraid that he would try to give chase to me.

Although I had to admit... Half of me wished he would.

--

I just saw spy mv. and -faints from the hotness-

I want to eat Eunhyuk up.

looking forward to all your comments!