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JAEJOONG'S POV

 

 

I went to the bar at the other side of my room. I took a bottle of whiskey from the refrigerator and pour it on the glass on my hand, making it full until the tip. I gulped it all down in one go. Arrgghhh…. It burns. It really hurts. But it’s not painful as the pain I’m feeling in my heart. It pains me to see her with another man. But it pains me more to see her cry just because of another man.

 

 

“Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhh… Why? Why? What did I do?” She’s going hysterical again. I really don’t know how to comfort her at this state. I can’t help but to see her cry at this distance. “Tell me, Jae. You’re a guy, right? What the f*** did I do to not make him love me anymore?” She continued bawling and crying her heart out.

 

 

I just stared at her. I can’t really say anything. I really don’t know what to say. As I continue to stare at her, I can’t help but remember the girl who was full of smiles before, the girl whose clumsiness would always make me laugh, the girl who lighted up my life and the same girl whom my very close friend took away from me.

 

 

I took the bottle of whiskey and poured another large amount into my glass. I made sure that my glass was full before I chugged it all down again in one go. Aaaahh… the alcohol burns my throat but why not the pain I’m feeling inside?

 

 

I saw her stood up and paced back and forth in front of the sofa. She was thinking too deep with her tears still flowing down from her beautiful brown eyes. “Jae, I don’t know what to do. I don’t what to do without him in my life. I just can’t…..” She burst into hysterical cry again with her palms covering her face.

 

 

I just remained quiet. I just kept on staring at her. I really don’t know what I should say to her. Every cry and every tear that falls pinch my heart. The excruciating pain I’m feeling is choking me that I am not able to find the words to say to her.

 

Why did I ever let her go before? Why didn’t I fight for my feelings towards her? Why did I even let her be with another guy?

 

 

I looked around the room and my eyes landed on a photo on the side table.  The photo showed three people smiling widely with the girl in the middle of the two guys. Oh yeah. We were very close friends back then. He was my very best friend. And she became my best friend’s girlfriend.

 

 

FLASHBACK

 

I was walking in the hallway of the building where my best friend was working. I was busy fumbling with my phone when I suddenly bumped into someone.

 

 

“Oh! mianhe-yo. Mianhe. Mianhe.” She said multiple times while bowing.

 

 

“Er, ahm.. it’s ok!!! No problem.” I said. She lifted up her face and smiled at me. Beautiful.

 

 

She was about to say something when my best friend suddenly came rushing towards us. Upon reaching us, he immediately grabbed the girl’s shoulders.

 

 

“I caught you!!” he exclaimed and turned to me. “Oh! hi, jae! What brought you here?” he asked.

 

 

“Nothing. Just came visiting.” I said, shrugging my shoulders but my eyes were kept on her.

 

 

He seemed to notice it because he immediately went to me and tapped my shoulders. “Really??? You really have that much time?” he said and lightly punched my right arm.

 

 

“Oh, wait! I’ll introduce you two. Dara, this is Kim Jaejoong. THE Kim Jaejoong.” I rolled my eyes. Oh, please. He always does that. “Jae, this is Sandara Park.” He said again and whispered: “She’s the one I was talking about and she’s officially a trainee.”

 

 

It’s her? Jiyong have been constantly talking about a certain girl he was attracted to. He would always open up a topic about her and it would last for several hours. He never really gets tired of telling stories about her. But he told me before that she was out of the country. But I guess, she’s back and she’s a trainee!

 

 

“Omo!!! Annyeonghaseyo. I’m a big fan of DBSK!!! Can I have your autograph? ” She exclaimed and immediately handed me a notebook and a pen.

 

 

I was about to get it when Jiyong grabbed it first. “No need for that, Dara. Because you’ll be best friends.”

 

 

Then that’s where it all started. Soon after, the three of us became very close friends. We were really enjoying each other’s company despite Jiyong and I being idols. We would still find some time to be with each other and that drew me closer and closer to her. I became fond of her. I love hearing her laugh. I love looking into her eyes. I love the way she calls my name. I was actually enjoying being with her. I know it’s wrong. But I was actually falling in love with her.

 

 

I kept on thinking about my feelings for her. Should I sacrifice my friendship with Jiyong? Should I confess my feelings to her? What if she’ll reject me? What if she’ll say that she loves somebody else? What if? What if? Aish!!! Whatever! I don’t care anymore what happens.

 

 

I called Dara and told her to meet me at our usual place. With the bouquet in my hands, I sat on the bench. I was really nervous. My hands were trembling and my mind was going blank. I shook my head, trying to clear my mind. You can do this, Jae! I cheered to myself. After several minutes, I heard people giggling. I creased my forehead and looked up to find out who it were.

 

 

My heart sank because of what I’ve witnessed. The bouquet I was holding dropped to the floor.

 

 

“Hi, Jae!” Jiyong and Dara waved at me happily with their hands intertwined.

 

 

My lips trembled but I still managed to smile back at them. “Ah- H- Hi!”

 

 

“Jae? What were you going to say to me?” Dara asked.

 

 

“Huh? Oh. Nothing! Nothing!  I just ahm..” I thought for an alibi. Then I noticed the bouquet I just dropped. “I just, well, I just want to congratulate the both of you!”

 

 

“Eh??? How did you know? We were just about to tell you.” Jiyong said.

 

 

I tried held back my tears and gulped down my cries. “Oh! Dara told me already!”

 

 

“Ehh??? I did?” she exclaimed and scratched her head. “Oh, well. Thanks, Jae.” She continued and took the bouquet. I just smiled at her. I just hope that my feelings didn’t reflect in my eyes.

 

 

I saw her smiled at Jiyong and wrapped her arms around his left arm. The scene before me tore my heart into pieces. But they seem to be very happy with each other. So I just need to be happy for them.

 

 

Soon after, she debuted as one of the members of a badass girl group named 2ne1 and their relationship continued.

 

 

END OF FLASHBACK

 

 

“Answer me, Jae. What am I going to do right now?” She asked again, biting her trembling lower lip. “Jae, am I really not good enough? He said he already had enough of me. He told me that I’m boring, that I don’t thrill him anymore, and that I’m ain’t no fun. Why, Jae? Did I change? Did I? For goodness sake, Jae! Answer me!” she shouted.

 

 

What did you just do, Jiyong? I’ve let her go because I know that you’ll be able to make her happy. I know that she’ll enjoy being with you. But what did you just do? You’re making me regret that I have let her go.

 

 

This time, I drank the remaining amount of whiskey straight from the bottle. I swallowed all of it before finally approaching her. I sat beside her and took a deep breath. I turned and pulled her into a tight hug.

 

 

“LOVE ME, DARA! LOVE ME INSTEAD OF HIM! I can’t stand seeing you become like this! I have loved you for so long and so much that it pains me seeing you with him all this time. So please….  ” I begged her. My eyes stung and my tears started to fall. I felt her stiffened for a second.

 

 

She pushed me and stood up. “I’m sorry, Jae. But I still love him. I can’t do that.” Was all she said and walked out of the room.

 

 

My heart broke into a million pieces. I wish I had fight for her before. I wish I had confessed to her when I had a chance. I wish I had never let her go. 

 

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ARRGGGHHH...

 

LAME and BORING??

 

Guess I'm not really fitted for dramas.. D:

 

Thanks for reading!!!! <3