whoop~ I'm back! I'm pretty nervous with this whole thing, cause i'm not sure how far to take this whole angsty thing.

But... here comes nothing!

"Taemin? Are you there?"

The door creaks open even so slightly, gradually revealing Key's face. He scanned the dark room quickly, only to find Taemin crouched on the floor, penknife in hand. Taemin's head slowly looked up, and Key could see his eyes swollen from crying.

"...Kibum?"

Key rushes over to the maknae's side, snatching the penknife away.

"What are you doing Taemin?" He asks, as he saw a dark red liquid flow out of the other's arm.

"..."

Without another word, Key stood up his back turned.

"...I'll go grab the first-aid box, you stay here okay?"

As Key got ready to walk off, he felt an ice cold hand grab him.

"No it's alright, I'm fine."

"Like hell you are. Tell me that when you don't have blood flowing like free."

"It's not like you're any better than me."

"What?" Kibum's face registers shock, then recovers immediately.

"I mean, your eyes can't lie."

"... We're really screwed aren't we?" Key mouths as he walks out of the door.

Key returns to Taemin's room with the first-aid box in hand. He picks the broken creature up and places him down on the bed. Then he flopped next to Taemin and swiftly took out the antiseptic cream.

"This is going to hurt alittle okay," Key says, looking at Taemin.

"I'm telling you I'm fine!

"And I'm telling you you're not. Trust me on this and work with me will you?"

"I'm supposed to trust you because what, you cut yourself too?"

Key doesn't reply to the other's snide comments. He silently grabs Taemin's hand and squeezes out some cream. Bending down closer to Taemin, Key gently applies the antiseptic cream, which makes the other wince alittle. Not just because it hurt quite alot, but also because of how close Key was getting. Taemin could smell him, the special shampoo that Key uses, and the scent that was unique to him. And he couldn't control himself any much longer.

He pulls himself away. But Key is no fool, he reaches out for Taemin's hand on reflex, like he's done this a million times over.

"Hey stay still!" Key commands, giving Taemin no space to escape.

The older grips the maknae's hand firmly, and places some gauze onto the open wound. He then tapes it together and pats Taemin on the head, chanting There there, umma's all done.

Key stretches and gets ready to leave, but Taemin stops him in his tracks again. "Now you've helped me, it's your turn right? Why have you been crying?"

Shocked by the younger's sudden question, Key spins around to face him and he sees Taemin staring right at him. His eyes were sorrowful, but still had that slight sparkle in it. So he hasn't lost it all yet huh Key thinks to himself. But the depth in that gaze told him Taemin was no longer the little boy that he had once known. When did he change so much? And why hadn't I notice him grow?

"I'm not sure...how i should start this." Key plonks back onto the bed next to Taemin.

"It's about a relationship right?"

"Yea. The person I like loves someone else now. And it hurts because I know that we used to have some spark together."

"So?"

"So it's freaking killing me everytime we talk to each other!" Key burst out, his eyes a misty shade. He turns to face Taemin and stares straight into his eyes, making Taemin cringe alittle. Because he knew all along Jonghyun's the only one Key thinks about. "Nothing's the same anymore... and i don't know what i should do Tae."

"...well then maybe you should forget about that person. Why continue loving someone who would cause you so much pain?"

"How can you possibly understand? Have you ever loved someone who loved someone else?" Kibum raises his tone at the maknae.

"..."

"...I'm sorry. I mean you're too young to talk about these sort of stuff right? I just thoug-"

"No, you're wrong."

"Wha-?"

"I'm not too young to understand this. For you this may just have happened, but for me I've always been staring at the person I love from afar."

"Minho's not really in love with Onew or anything you know. He's probably just playing around and-"

"Hyung, you're the one that doesn't understand."

With that, Taemin envelops Key in a warm hug. He then motions Key out of his room and says, "It's getting late, I'm going to go sleep now. Goodnight hyung."

The next morning, the dorm seemed like another place filled with peace. Taemin greeted Key like nothing happened last night, and Key noticed that the dressings he applied for the younger one was removed. He looked at the maknae one more time today, and realised how different he was. His shoulders were a little slouched, and his eyes a little puffy. Despite that smile he was putting up, he knew Taemin was broken. 

"Hey Tae-"

"Key yeobo, what's for breakfast today huh~" Jonghyun interrupted, batting his eyelids playfully at Key.

"Pancakes dear," Key replied, smiling slightly. Sekyung really makes Jonghyun happy huh, what about me?

From the corner of his eyes, Taemin can see Key smiling absentmindedly to himself. He can see Key jump up and down when he talks to Jonghyun. He can see the small grin playing around Key's lips when Jonghyun teases him. Every time he sees this scene, he would sigh to himself. Yupp Taemin, you knew it all along didn't you? Key just treats you as some tool he uses. When he doesn't need you, he flies back to Jonghyun. Because he loves him.

After their schedule at the photoshoot today, Key pulls Taemin into a corner backstage.

"Hey hey! Come with me for a sec, I want to tell you something funny!" Key glows in front of Taemin, bouncing about like a little kid.

"It's about Jonghyun again isn't it?"

"Well he was really weird today anyway, remember how-"

"Do you see me?" Taemin questions, looking deep into Kibum's eyes.

"Yes I do, you're right in front of me of course I.."

"That's not what I meant. In your eyes, all you see is Jonghyun isn't it? When he's injured, when he's cracking some joke, when he's eating, when he's lost."

"Taemin what are you trying to say?"

"Have you ever seen me? I'm right here in front of you, but you don't really see me do you?"

"Of course I do Taemin! As your umma, I'm always there for you no?"

"As my umma, only because Jonghyun's the father right? Why can't you just forget about Jonghyun when you're with me? Or even for one second?! Am I that insignificant?"

"...Taemin don't say it like that."

"Oh I will. I'm going to make it clear just what i want to say. Hyung, I've been in love with you for a very long time already. And it hurts so bad, everytime I hear you talk about Jonghyun so affectionately. But I'm not going to just stand there and stare anymore."

Taemin corners Key into a wall, pressing his hand firmly on one side. Key has never seen Taemin so agitated, so flustered over anything before. The forcefulness in Taemin's voice shocks Key, causing him to turn away from the maknae.

"Look at me Kibum hyung. Can't you erase those feelings you have for someone who's totally hurting you? There's someone right now in front of you, who's willing to sacrifice everything for you, and you wouldn't even look at him?"

"I'm trying! I'm trying so hard to forget something so forbidden, but it's not easy you know?!" Key spits, pushing away Taemin's hand and facing Taemin straight in the face. "It's hard enough looking out for one person already, and now I have to look at another? I'm not some carebear, I can't care for so many at the same time! Just give me some time will you?!" Key shouts tears stinging his eyes.

"...I'm sorry. I.. probably shouldn't have said that. Jonghyun hyung is a nice person. He's kind and cares for everyone in his own special way, but I'm just a selfish brat who doesn't really understand anything. That makes sense doesn't it, yes of course it does. I mean who would want to care for some stupid kid that's only capable of irritating others? ...Hah, okay I think I'll just go back now hyung, they're probably calling or something..." Taemin blabbers on, without knowing that tears were slowly sliding down his cheek. He spins and walks away quickly, avoiding Key's gaze the whole time.    

"No wait Taemin, that's not what I meant, I was just-"

"No it's alright, I'm fine. I'm... I'm sorry. For pushing my feelings onto you, for making you suffer so much over my selfish desires."

"Taemin, Taemin wait! Please please, that's not what i meant! I wasn't thinking straight, I-"

"Don't lie to me hyung. Feelings exposed at their rawest are the truest. And don't pity me. I'm not that weak, I don't need you to console me." Taemin states blankly. He then walks away from the older man calmly, leaving Key in shock.

But inside Taemin, he was anything but calm. Cringing, crying, feeling frustrated, crushed, destroyed, and totally broken.

I don't deserve to even know you Kibum hyung. So let me just fade away somewhere.

Oh no angsty max, sigh my moods all down now too. But seriously, if you watch videos and notice their gazes, Taemin always looks so despondent when Jonghyun and Key are having fun. And he takes care of Key discretely, not saying anything at all. D: taekey sigh.

Comment okay, and quote what you like! (: Quoting makes the world go square.