Chaerin’s POV

I couldn’t at first…

I woke up the moment the sunlight fell through my window and onto my face.  I squeeze my eyes tight for a while, just hoping I could go back to sleep. I ended up crying myself to sleep last night. The words my father had said to me. “Don’t disappoint me any further Chaerin, I hope I never hear or see of this boy again. Don’t make me regret losing your sister and having just you anymore.” Those words hurt a lot more than I thought they would. Was I that big of a disappointment to my father? I’ve always tried my best at everything to keep him happy and proud, seeing the saddened expression after Umma and Yerin’s death, I promised myself I wouldn’t be the one to give him the same. Yet I did. The tears I ever saw Appa cry for Umma, I thought I could see them come out again. Was it better if it was me than Yerin? She was always the princess, cute, sweet and always doing everything to make others happy, which made her happy. I try…I really do to be like her but, everything that can make Appa happy doesn’t make me happy, it just makes me tired. I don’t know who or what I am. The dreams I once had have begun to fade. I met Guk on chance, yet he brought out parts of me I thought that had disappeared. Feelings,moods and an attachment, to life and towards him. I forgot what it was like to freely talk about just anything. Not having to worry about mannerism, class and social backgrounds. Just to plainly talk. I do talk about everything with Bom and Dara Unnie and Minki, but it was different with him. I don’t know why but it felt different, yet right and so comfortable. Do I have to give up that feeling of comfort now? Something I found through chance… Getting out of bed slowly, I walk towards the phone I had thrown in the corner of my room. I turn it on.  I was about to smile when I heard a knock on my door. “Deh?” I slowly responded. Appa stepped into my room, all dressed. “I’m heading back to Shanghai. I have a meeting.” He slowly said, looking at me with empty eyes. I wanted to break down again. Why Appa? Why are you looking so disappointed? “Appa…I” I wanted to say something yet he cut me off. “Chaerin, I hope you remember my words from last night, if you continue to do as you wish, then I can only say forget your present, and head towards that future.” He said with a disappointed face, I could see his hands clench into tight fists. No…Appa…Why do you have to be like this? I never want you to show these expressions… “I understand.” Those words came out in an instant. I could him look at me. I go to him and hug him. “Appa, do you know I love you?” I slowly say, trying to keep the tears from falling. “Appa has been with me since forever, and is majority of my life. I want to always be loved by Appa…so please don’t hate me.” I slowly hiccup. He pulled back from the hug and flicked me on the forehead. “Lee Chaerin! I don’t like this weak side of you! Have I taught you to think of ridiculous things without solid proof.” I just nod my head. “You’re my first daughter and my only one now…I love you silly girl.” He slowly said the last part. I started to smile in between my hiccups. “Yesterday…I…” he seemed to have a hard time continuing, and I knew he was reluctant to continue so I cut him off. “Arasso, I understand. Go or you’ll miss your flight!” I give him a small smile. I see him smile back at me as he took his leave. I fall down onto my bed again and look at my phone at the reason behind the smile I was about to have on my face. My eyes slowly water. “Mianhe”. Were the only words that came out. I slowly got myself up and ready. I needed sometime to just relax and let loose. I called Dara Unnie’s phone. “Yeoboseyo?” “Unnie.” “PUDONG-AHHH!!” I heard her loud voice. “Why are you always so loud??” I chuckle. “I’m not loud.” I heard her voice get lower. Unnie is so fun to tease. “Unnie where are you?” "At the new mall shopping with the girls! We were about to call you, but you beat me to it!~ Aigoo~” “Haha, Unnie you . I’ll see you there!” I respond before cutting the line. I had a small smile on. Heading out the door and into my silver baby, I head for the mall. As I reached closer and closer towards the mall, my heart rate got faster and faster. Just as I got into the parking lot, I realized why. I saw him again, his friends pulling him from his car. I try to turn my gaze away, but my eyes wouldn’t tear away from him. Until I saw his gaze catch my own. As did his friends. I quickly looked away, and drove by to search for a parking spot, far away from there. Why was he there? This isn’t his kind of place to hangout.Nor his friends... Questions filled into me. However right now, I knew I couldn’t go find the answer. As I was taking the path on the other end to the mall entrance, eventually my route connected with theirs. I saw him about to break into smile, trying to look down at my phone I quickly walk by. I was just glad that Minki was in sight. I literally ran to her. “Unnie? Are you crying?” she asked me. “Ani…Kajja.” I softly whisper, fully aware of that fact that 6 pairs of eyes, one in particular was gazing right at me. “Let’s just go Minki.”

In the end I couldn’t either…

----------------------------------------
Short and a crappy Chappy. Sorry ):~

What do you think happened?
What do you think is going to happen?

Read.Comment.Subscribe <3

--

Toodles
MS