Look at me carefully, it’s because I don’t like you crying; being hurt is tiring, every time I see you like that (Be Mine - INFINITE)

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I was just finished practicing my new song when my phone rang. I stood up and walked away from the piano and grabbed my phone on the desk. I sighed and quickly cleaned the mess that I made before. I picked the music note on the floor that I accidently spilled when I tripped on my own foot then I grabbed my bag and rushed onto the parking lot.

As soon as I started the engine I stepped the gas pedal and rushed onto the crowded street of Seoul because I know how that Busan boy hate it when I’m late.

That boy was never change. Actually, almost all of us were not changing every single bit. The difference maybe just that now almost all of us were married or dating. A small smile formed on my face when I remember the old times when we’re still together as INFINITE and also A Pink. About our dating rumors, when my members are getting married, those laughter, the joy, everything.

And don’t worry, Sungyeolie was still the same like before. Choding.

Looks like Yookyung didn’t mind with that boy’s behavior. Even when finally they’re got married and had a daughter.

After our group disbanded, he decided to work at our old management as a dance instructor like Dongwoo. While me, Woohyun, Myungsoo, Sungyeol, and Sungjong stayed in this industry. Maybe that’s his way to express his gratitude to our boss for made him from nobody to somebody. From an ordinary Busan boy named Lee Howon onto INFINITE Hoya that everyone’s adored and loved.

Myungsoo and Sungyeol were better to be an actor than a singer after all. I can say that because two weeks ago we reunited and watched Myungsoo’s latest movie at my house and I felt so proud of him because he finally found something that suited him.

So is Howon, that sharp-tongue boy still the hopeless-idiotic-romantic Busan boy that I always knew. 

I remember met him exactly a week ago. I saw Howon was just about to go out from the company when she and his little son came to pick him up. Then he gave his family a little tour while showing his son to the staffs and also our boss.

I still remember it. So clearly.

When I turned back, I saw you standing there. Speechless. You were looking at the happy family that seems didn’t knowing that we were standing not so far away from them. With a tears formed on your beautiful eyes but you quickly wiped it because you thought that you’re strong and able to get over it. Stupid girl, you can’t act strong like that every time, because I knew how fragile you were.

.#.

I was always there. But you never looked at me. Looks like there’s only him at your vision.

But you’re always been in here. I always watched you secretly, lighten you when you’re down, being your shoulder to cried to, I always done everything that I could to you to finally you’ll notice me.

Somehow.

Someday.

I’m the one who hugged you first when you heard that your family were gone because an accident. You cried. Hard. And I never got tired to whispering courage words to your ears for making you a little bit stronger and could face the hurtful fact. But still, only him that you saw.

It hurts. A lot.

.#.

“Hyung! You’re here!” Howon exclaimed happily as soon as he could recognize me. I gave him a cheeky smile and stepped in the house.

“Where’s the others?” I asked him while I followed him to the backyard.

“You’ll see,” he just gave me a smile and when he slide the glass door I could see almost the entire member was busying themselves with their own business.

“Where’s she?” I asked him. Howon roses his eyebrow and I gave him my look.

“Of course you know who I mean, Howon,” I said. He made a simple ‘Oh’ and shrugged.

“I don’t know, hyung,” he answered, “but she’ll come. She never wants to miss this. Like the previous years.”

“Yes, but back then she’s not in this state—”

“Can we please stop arguing about this, hyung? We’re still arguing about this for four years—”

“And you know why I do this, Lee Howon,” I cut his words. He was about to open his mouth but then he closed it again and bended down when a boy—about three years old ran onto our direction and jumped onto him while squealed “Appa!”. Howon laughed and hold the boy in his strong arms.

“Gyu samchoon!” the boy yelled and showed me his crooked teeth.

I giggled and ruffled his hair, “hello, kiddo.” I said.

I was about to say something to that boy but he screamed, “Appa! Put me down! Minji’s here!” Howon just chuckled and put the boy down. The boy quickly ran towards a ponytailed girl and hugged her tight while screaming, “Minji-yah!”

“Hey, Myung,” I waved my hand towards Myungsoo who escorted the pregnant woman beside him, “Hello, Naeun.”

Naeun smiled and bowed to me, “Sunggyu oppa, how are you?”

“I’m good, how are you?” I said back. She smiled and suddenly yelped in pain and made Myungsoo startled.

“Baby, you okay?” he asked worriedly. Naeun smiled and nodded her head.

“Yes, I’m fine,” she said, “just a strong kick from Minjoonie.”

“Minjoon?” I asked, “it’s a boy?”

Myungsoo nodded and smiled widely. I always knew how much he wanted to have a baby boy. I laughed and gave him a hug, “congratulation Myungsoo-yah,”

“Thanks hyung!” he said while returning my hug.

“Gyu hyung!” I turned my head and saw my best friend-slice-co workers waved his hand towards me and I smiled. Walked onto his direction, I gave him a high-five and he gave me his usual greasy smile.

“What’s up, hyung?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes, “come on Nam. We’ve met a few hours ago and you’re acting like you didn’t see me in years.”

He chuckled, “how about the song?”

I nodded, “it’s pretty good, I added a few things and lyrics—”

“Okay guys, can you both please not talking about works in here?” Sungjong—who sat beside Woohyun and Chorong—complained. Definitely our maknae felt annoyed because I and Woohyun always talked about our songs whenever we met. I can’t help it; we’re at our busiest state right now. Our third album must be done by three months again and we’re still far from finishing it.

“What’s wrong, smile boy?” I joked by calling him with the nickname that he got when we were doing a variety show together as INFINITE. Which happened…fifteen years ago?...or maybe more? I couldn’t remember it.

“Stop talking about works in here, can you?” he asked, “I’m here for refreshing. Not hearing you talking about works.”

I smiled and ruffled his hair, “mian, maknae-yah.”

“Hyuuungg~” he whined and fixed his hair, “can you stop doing that? I’m not 17 again.”

I grinned, “Sorry maknae, old habbit.” He sighed and just muttered ‘whatever’ under his breath.

“Where’s Namjoo?” I asked when I realized I didn’t see his fiancée.

“With Hayoungie at the kitchen. Preparing for our dinner.” He said. I just nodded and walked away from them. I chose to sat on the bench, stretched my arms and released a yawn because I felt so tired right now. Recording for almost 8 hours for a day really exhaust me.

.#.

I know it makes no sense; but what else can I do? How can I move on, when I’m still in love with you? (The Man Who Can’t Be Moved – The Script)

I took a glance over my watch once again and tapped my fingers impatiently. It’s late and you still didn’t show up. Don’t you know how worried I am when you’re not answering your phone? And I know you’re not on the Woollim’s because I saw your desk already empty when I walked through the corridors and passed the vocal room—there’s no trace of you already.

Speak of the devil… There you are, standing a few feet away from me, looking for your surrounding before stepped onto the backyard. Even though this place is really noisy, I don’t know why I still could hear the sound of your heels clacked with the ground. How many cliché it sounds, but looks like my world absorbed to you. Like you’re my only focus in this place.

Oh Eunji, are you aware of how gorgeous you looked tonight? That rose colored dress really captured your beauty tonight. With addition your long wavy locks and that beautiful smile eyes.

.#.

“Hey,”

She looked up and flashed a small smile—I never saw her smile reached her eyes again after she broke up with Howon. I kinda miss it actually—then replied me with, “hey.”

“Stupid girl,” I said. She frowned and glared at me. How adorable, I thought. I chuckled and took off my white tux and covering her bare shoulder with my tux, “why didn’t you wear any coat? It’s so cold.” I nagged at her.

She smiled, “I’m fine,” I scoffed and gave her i-don’t-believe-you look, “really, oppa.” She said again.

I just sighed loudly and slammed myself on the chair beside her and grabbed her hand tightly. Tried to warming her hand because the weather was pretty cold.

“You’re a terrible liar, Jung Eunji.” I said while giggled.

“I know,” She answered.

We stared at each other eyes before finally she cracked her gorgeous smile to me.

But then once again I discovered that familiar crystal fell from her eyes, “Eunji yah…” I gasped. And I pulled her closer to me with hugging her.

“It’s okay, baby…” I whispered onto her ear while I kept on caressing her delicate hands while occasionally wiping her tears, “it’s okay…”

But instead her sobbing became louder and I sighed in defeat. Softly I caressed her short hair again with my hand.

“It’s too hard, oppa,” she said with a cracked voice.

“I know, Eunji,” I whispered softly into her ears as she leaned onto my chest—wetting my shirt with her tears.

“Come on, let’s go home,” I said. She pulled herself and looked at my eyes before shook her head.

“No, I’m fine—”

“You are not.” I said with piercing gaze, “don’t be stubborn, Eunji. Come on, I’ll take you home.”

Once again she shook my head, “oppa, we barely see each other after our group disbanded and I don’t know when we could gather together like this anymore. As a leader, of course you shouldn’t leave your boys,” I sighed when heard her explanation.

“But—”

“I’m fine,” she cut me with giving me a forced happy virus smile, “don’t worry about me, Sunggyu oppa.”

I gave up and smiled at her then pulled her into my embrace once again, “stubborn kid,” I muttered.

“Thank you, old man,” she replied back—playfully. Then both of us just kept our mouth shut—let the silence consuming us. Letting our thoughts flying around our head.

“You know, you should forget about him,” I finally broke the comfortable silence.

“Don’t.” She broke my embrace and her pairs of crescent looked straight into my eyes, “please, don’t start—”

“But, Eunji—” I tried to cut her.

“Can we stop talking about this?” She cut my words once again. I sighed in defeat, “we’ve talk about this all the time, Sunggyu oppa. And you know the answer. It’s still the same.”

No, don’t leave again.

Please.

I grabbed her wrist when she stood up and about to leave me, “You only hurt yourself, and you know it,” I said.

I could see hurt flashed through her beautiful face and all of a sudden I never felt this regretful in my life. But then she managed to give me another fake smile and replied, “I know,” before releasing my grip and walked away.

Then what about me, Eunji? Have you ever considered my feelings for you?

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Kim Sunggyu—End.

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Sorry for the very long update~ but here’s the chapter :D