“I can’t let you take the exam,” Yang Sunseng-nim's voice echoed in my mind.

I blinked several times. Then I chuckled very awkwardly. “Nice joke, Sunseng-nim.”

“I am not,” he said.

He’s not? Omo. What does he mean? Why can’t I take my exam?

“Why?” I asked, finally finding the strength to speak.

“You know our school policy, Miss Park. You can’t take your exam if you still haven’t settled your accounts yet.”

“But…”

“The principal has been bothering me and so I decided to tell you. I thought you’re going to settle your balances wen the semester ends, so I didn’t bother telling you. I thought you were responsible enough to think about that. It turned out I was wrong,” he said.

“But, Sunseng-nim…” I tried interrupting, but to no avail. He wasn’t finished yet.

“You wouldn’t succeed in the future with that attitude of yours, Miss Park. You should be responsible enough to, I don’t know; tell your parents that you still haven’t paid your tuition fees.”

I gritted my teeth. He seemed clueless about me being parentless. I clenched my fist as I finally understood the situation I am in right now.

“Do you have any problems, Miss Park? Family problems? Do you want me to talk to your parents about this?” he asked, concerned.

I shook my head, willing myself not to cry, willing myself not to show weakness. I need to be strong. “I’ll talk to them myself.”

“Okay then,” he said. “You can actually take your exam if you will be able to pay your tuition fees before the exam approaches.”

I nodded. “Thank you, sir,” I said, bowing.

I breathed loudly the moment I stepped out of the office.

“How did it go?” a deep voice said behind me.

I faced Jiyong. I forgot that he was waiting for me outside the office. I need to appear strong. “It was alright. It was what I expected. It was because of that stupid dream.”

“So, did he give you your exam slip?”

I shook my head. “He said that he will give it to me a day before the exam, as a kind of punishment to me.”

He patted my head. “It’s alright. Next time, I won’t let you stay up that late again.”

I smiled up at him. I doubt so. With this problem at hand, I don’t think I can even have a peaceful sleep at night.

And I was right. It was already 3:40 AM and I was still awake. I don’t know what to do now. I’m broke. What am I going to do?

Just then, Jiyong’s soft snores made me snap my head towards him. It made me thoughtful. I still have Jiyong. What if i…?

I frantically shook my head, erasing the thoughts that were poisoning my mind. I can’t. I can’t depend on Jiyong. He’s just my boyfriend. I’m just his girlfriend. It’s not like we’re husband and wife, at least not yet. Besides, for these past days, I have been dependent on him. I can’t continue on doing that. What if he will say that I’m abusing his kindness? What if because of that, he’ll break up with me?

I don’t want that. I love Jiyong too much, I can’t imagine living a life without im. See? I’m too dependent on him.

I sat up and buried my face on my hands. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. But I can’t do those. I would wake Jiyong up. And the last thing I want now is to let Jiyong know that I’m going through something. I have to act okay.

“Baby?” Jiyong’s raspy voice entered my ears. I looked behind me and saw him getting up. His hair was disheveled and he was rubbing his eyes. “Is there a problem?”

I shook my head. “I just…had a bad nightmare,” I said.

 I pulled him back to lie on our bed and wrapped my arm on his waist. He wrapped his arms around me in a reassuring embrace as he kissed my forehead.

“Sleep now, baby,” he said. And I did.

“See you later,” Jiyong said, as he walked me to my room. I smiled up at him as he did. I waved back at him while he was walking away.

When I was sure that he’s now faraway, I firmly held on the strap of my bag and walked the other way – towards the school gate. I’m sorry, Jiyong. I can’t tell you.

I finally arrived at the bank. I took a deep breath as I entered it.

“Good morning, ma’am,” the teller greeted. “How may I help you?”

“Good morning. I just want to check the balance I got on my account,” I said as I handed her my card.

I was waiting for her as she punched in the code and scanned through the computer. Then, every now and then, she would glance at me. Then she punches the code again and then she faced me finally.

“I’m sorry ma’am. Your account has been closed for a month now,” she said.

I creased my brow. “What are you talking about? I didn’t close it.”

“Well, it shows here that it has been empty for almost a year. And you didn’t deposit any money too.”

“What?!” I stared at her incredulously. “You could have informed me then, so I could take actions.”

“It is in our company policy that we inform our clients about their accounts when something like this comes up. And I’m pretty sure we mailed you. Perhaps you failed to check it?”

“I check it often, what are you talking about? I didn’t receive any mails from you,” I lied, defensively. I don’t check often because I know no one mails me anyway, except that creepy man.

“You might have missed our mail then,” she said. “Why don’t you check it at home?”

“Why? By doing so, will you open up my account again?” I asked, totally agitated with the turn of events.

“Ma’am, please calm down,” she said.

“Calm down? How could I? I can’t pay my tuition fees and that means I can’t take my exam and I can’t go to college. Can’t you see how grave the situation is?”

Before I could complain more, she already called some security guards. They were carrying me on both of my arms as I flailed my legs and struggled helplessly. They then put me down on the pavement across the road. I was about to go back and complain more but the guards stopped me.

“We’ll sue you,” the guard warned.

That stopped me.

I was dragging my feet anywhere they ant to drag me. I don’t know anymore. I don’t have a destination in mind. I don’t know what to do anymore.

When I felt tired, I dropped myself on the pavement and sighed helplessly. People were passing by me as they stared at the hopeless high school girl sitting by the pavement. What’s lacking now is that they give me pitiful looks as they give some money.

‘You wouldn’t succeed in the future wit that attitude of yours, Miss Park. You should be responsible enough,’ Yang Sunseng-nim’s voice echoed in my min.

Responsible, eh? He’s right. I’m not responsible. I depend on people too much. I always think that there will always be someone who will help me. Also, the money that I had on the bank was actually Dad and Mom’s little savings. For five years, it helped me live up until now. And because I was irresponsible, like what Yang Sunseng-nim said, I didn’t dare try to make it more so I that I won’t face this kind of problem in the future.

How couldn’t I not think of working so I won’t be facing these problems? Oh, yes, because I always DEPEND on the things that are already there.

Irresponsible, dependent, proud. That is all me.

I shall stop these thoughts! I stood up and looked for somewhere I could work.

But it didn’t take me long though. A club or a restaurant (I‘m not really sure) presented itself just in front of me. I could work as a waitress or a janitress. Just anything, just so I can earn money before the examinations week, which is actually two weeks from now. I think one week is enough for me to work and earn.

I pushed the door open, expecting a crowd of people. But what met me was a dark, empty, spacious room. “Hello?”

“You’re here early,” a voice behind me said.

I turned to him and immediately bowed, wanting to appear courteous on my application day.

“Oops, I mistaken you for the wrong person,” he said.

I looked up and saw his features clearly. He looked as if his face was made up too much – his nose, his eyes, even his forehead. His clothes are stylish too. He looked really wealthy.

“May I help you, high school girl?” he asked.

I smiled at him. “I want to apply for a part-time job please.”

His brow raised. “Are you sure?”

I nodded eagerly. “I need money and I need it soon. So, I’m already impatient of getting a job. So, please, accept my application.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Okay, come here at seven in the evening.”

“Really?” I said while clasping his hands in between mine. “Thank you so much!”

“Are you sure you want to sleep alone tonight?” Jiyong asked.

I nodded while giving him a reassuring smile. “Besides, we need to study for our exams. I don’t think we can concentrate while in one room.”

He nodded, seemingly thoughtful. “True, but still-“

“No buts,” I said, pressing my finger on his lips. “Besides, I don’t want to be the reason why you will not make it to the honor roll,” I said. Between the two of us, he’s the intelligent one, and everyone in school knows that. That was why we weren’t classmates. He was in Class A, while I was in Class D. Though, I remember people calling him stupid before because he was sticking up with me when Youngbae broke up with me. They didn’t know at that time that who they were calling stupid was to be the valedictorian of our batch.

He nodded and smiled with my finger still over his lips. I was about to pull away when he nibbled on it.

“Ya!” I scolded him, pulling my finger out. “Bad cheetah!”

He laughed and just proceeded to wrapping his arms on my body. He then planted a kiss on my lips before he left.

I’m sorry Jiyong, I had to lie.

I walked towards the club. Loud music was coming out from inside and I had the urge to step back and leave. I’m scared. This is my first time. But there’s no time to waste. I have to do this. I can do this!

The moment I stepped inside, I wanted to leave immediately. But my gay boss, Kwanghee, saw me and immediately pulled me on a corner.

“What the hell are you wearing, honey?” Kwanghee said. “Why didn’t you change out of your school uniform? Hurry, put this on,” he said, handing me some clothes. I stared at them. It only consists of a thin tank that shows the navel and a tight denim shorts which I’m sure the moment I’ll wear it and bend down, will show my .

“I can’t wear these,” I said.

“Why not? It’s-“

“What is this place?” I asked as my eyes roam around the dark place with almost girls dancing on stage. Some of them were only shaking their hips so slowly as if they’re implying something that the male customers only understand. Some of them were on the pole; their hands were just holding the pole while they were shaking their hips like the others too.

“It’s a club,” he said.

“I don’t want to work here. Not when I’ll be dressed like that too,” I said, pointing on one of their dancers.

“Oh, I thought you knew what business I have here,” Kwanghee said. “Then, how about if you work as a waitress here. We could some help.”

“Beer,” I said to the bartender behind the counter.

In the end, I accepted the job. I don’t see being a waitress here as a bad job. I’ll just be getting their orders and then come back and serve their drinks. How hard could that be? But what I don’t like with this is that I was dressed like a cosplayer and the dress was too short that it’s above half of my thighs. Many times had I pulled it down to at least cover most of my thighs but it wasn’t of much help. I asked Kwanghee if it is really necessary and he said that we have to attract customers and wearing dresses like this would do the trick. Whatever. And he even bragged that it was him who designed it. Double whatever. I can do better than this actually.

I was already serving the drinks ordered by our customers. I had my eyes laid down on the table because I don’t want to meet anyone’s eye.

“Such a beauty,” said a guy that I presumed to be from the table I was currently serving.

I did not respond, thinking that he wasn’t referring to me. I thought he was referring to one of the dancers. After they were the ones they’re after, right?

“Why don’t you dance for us too, sweetie?” another one said.

Again, I did not respond. Because I was finished serving, I already turned to leave. But I felt a warm hand on the back of my thigh. I immediately whirled on my heels and hit the owner of the hand on his head.

“ert!” I said, spatting the words on his face.

“Why you…” the man was standing up when I grabbed the drink I just served and spilled it on his bald head.

“Dara!” Kwanghee’s voice came from behind.

I was about to kick the erted man’s shin wen Kwanghee’s hands restrained me from doing so. He then dragged me in a corner.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“He was being a ert!” I retorted.

“You should not do that. They’re customers!”

“What do you want me to do then? Let their erted and dirty hands rub around my body?!”

“I’m not saying anything like that. They’re customers and you should respect them,” he said.

“I’m leaving,” I said, turning my back.

“No, you’re not!”

“Why?! You still have your ty workers who are very much willing to be harassed unlike me. You don’t need me!”

He looked timid for a while. “We need you.”

“What?” I asked incredulously.

“I mean, since you started working here last night, customers are dashing in. I believe you’re the luck I am looking for since I started this business.”

“No!” I refused.

“Dara, please!” he pleaded.

I raised my brow. Then, he started going into his knees.

“I’ll pay you big,” he said, hands clasped together.

“I don’t care. I’ll look for other jobs,” I said. “I’m sure there are others out there that offer bigger payment than what you’ll offer.”

“Dara, I know better than you, so believe me when I tell you that there aren’t. And nowadays, looking for jobs is very difficult. So, just accept this. I’ll promise you that I’ll protect you from any harassment.”

“Really?” I asked with my arms crossed over my chest.

He eagerly nodded.

“If I don’t need money so badly, I wouldn’t be accepting this job offer,” I said, helping him up.

It has been days since I started working here. And I’m loving the daily wage that Kwanghee gives me. In no time, I will be able to pay my school fees and I’ll be able to take my exam. Kwanghee has been a good boss to me too. As he promised, he helped me several times every time there are those who intent on harassing me.

As for Jiyong, I haven’t told him about this yet. And I know he’ll get mad that’s why I’m keeping this job as a secret until I don’t need it anymore. Every time we part ways, I always insist of not sleeping on his apartment as much as I don’t want to stay home. I feel sorry for keeping this from him, but I have to. I just hope noting goes wrong from here.

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*poster credits to nanaISyeoni