September 13th, 2008.

                 

To my dearest hyung,

                    

                     

            Minnie hyung! I’ve been missing you! TT_TT you know hyung? I have been a little more cheerful these lasts days~ I guess it’s because I’m getting used to my dark emotions… ^^’ well, I still don’t get over the fact that I love my friend’s boyfriend but I guess I’m improving in faking my smile. Last time Sulli told me that I’m somehow different and she asked if there was something wrong so I lied and told her that I just suddenly missed my mom and all my hometown and such…

            I think Kyuhyun realized because he looked at me with that ‘I know you’re lying’ look and hyung, seriously, is as if he can see right through me! I wonder if he knows that I love him… Maybe he does but doesn’t want to break my heart –even more- so he pretends he doesn’t know as well, I wouldn’t be surprised. But hyung, why is he so sweet and polite towards me? He shouldn’t be! I mean, it makes me dream that I’m special but when I notice he’s the same with Hae and the others… sigh, I don’t think I’m sane hyung, let’s just forget about this, I’m already tired of the love!

            Hyung~ I called my mom once again and guess what?! Your mom was there as well! (: she told me to say to you that she loves you and that you need to contact her because it’s been years and she doesn’t have any news from you! Hyung! Just go back for a few days and chat with her! She also told me that uncle is sick, hyung, go and pay him a visit because I don’t think he will make it, auntie was crying when she told me…

            Also hyung, I think Hae wants to go to your place anytime soon, lately he’s been all hyper about him finding the love of his life and how he’s growing old without a deep meaning and such, he even throws to my face that I already had an unrequited love! ‘¬¬ that fish… he likes to make me remember my pain!

            You know hyung, today Kyuhyun and I exchanged numbers, I think he think of me as a friend and Sulli was pretty happy; then some hours ago a text came and it was from Kyuhyun’s. He told me we should go out for a drink someday… Should I answer hyung? I’m afraid I’ll lose control being alone with him… maybe if I accept I’ll bring Hae… I think he means going out just like friends right?

            Does he even know what he makes to my poor heart? He plays really carelessly with my soul! He smiles at me, or talks directly to me… we’re supposed to be good friends right? But hyung, I can’t do that! I can’t be his friend! I don’t want to be only his friend.

            Aish! DAMN YOU CHO KYUHYUN! Sigh… sorry hyung, just wanted to take it out! xD

            Go back home soon hyung! Your family is missing you! ^^

                   

Love,

Hyukjae.

                  

PS: Hyung, did you know? One of the greatest predictors of love is proximity. Physical closeness leads to increased emotion, and it is not unusual to hear stories of bosses falling in love with their secretaries. On the other hand, scientists now think that at a critical time in childhood (sometime between ages 4–6), kids who live in close proximity lose their ability to fall in love with each other, perhaps preventing the destructive act of mixing one’s DNA with close kin. I think that’s why Hae, you and I are really good friends! People often asked me if I ever liked Hae in a romantic way but I never did, so I think I know why now! ^^