“This isn’t funny…let me go,” Kim Hyoyeon exclaimed trying her hardest to push away the taller and, now evidently, much stronger man who held her.

“Do you know how many girls throw themselves at me every day?” he whispered his hands tracing the curve of her back.

She tried to pull away but he held her fast.

“Do you?” his breath was hot and ticklish against her ear as he whispered his question.

“A lot,” she answered still struggling against him.

He chuckled, “That’s about right,” his lips grazed against her cheek, “So why are you playing so damn hard to get?”

Immediately after the conceited question left his tongue something snapped inside Hyoyeon and of its own accord her foot shot out and levelled a hard kick at her captors shin. With a loud grunt he immediately released her and doubled over clutching at his injured leg.

“You may be a big shot idol Lee Donghae and you might have a hundred girls willing to throw themselves, quite shamelessly I might add, at you every day but whether you choose to believe me or not…I’m just not interested!” she replied.

Feeling triumphant and strangely empowered Hyoyeon walked out of the dressing room, straightening her top as she went, trying hard to calm her racing heart.

It was only as she reached the main stage exit that the reality of what she’d done sunk in.

She’d just kicked and insulted her very first assignment as an SM stylist. She wasn’t in trouble. She was beyond plain old “in trouble” she was hovering quite contentedly in the dead meat category.

“Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!” she cried over and over ignoring the strange looks she got from the surrounding staff members.

The sensible part of her urged her to go back to the dressing room and apologise but the stubborn and quite frankly, wronged part of her kept her rooted to her spot. She had been right to kick him, in fact she was within her rights to report him for ual harassment.

When she’d first found out which member of Super Junior she was going to work with, she’d been ecstatic. Lee Donghae was the epitome of the sweet quiet boy next door, well she’d soon learned that was merely the image he put across as part of his public persona. In the past few weeks she’d come to learn that Lee Donghae was the quintessential playboy Casanova with an ego to match and no matter how much she’d tried she couldn’t see that there was anything more to him. At least so far.

 For weeks now since she’d first met him, she’d been subjected to endless flirtation that would almost always culminate in him trying to cop a feel whenever they found themselves alone. Tonight had been the limit, he’d actually pulled her into a tight hug and all but tried to grind up against her.

She shivered slightly, remembering the feel of his hands on her. It wasn’t that his touch was repulsive, she felt her cheeks warm slightly with embarrassment at her line of thought, it was the feel of it, it was intimate but at the same time impersonal. The combination was unnerving, as though on some level he did want to touch her but at the same time didn’t.

Then again this was her job she was talking about. Job. Pride. Job. Pride. She weighed the two options. There was a third option though. She cringed as she considered it. Job. Pride. Nepotism.

 She loved her job, but there was no way in heck she was going to apologise to that hedonistic superficial oaf so she whipped out her phone, speed dialled her uncle and explained the situation.

After a few choice words from the older gentleman about the behaviour of today’s youth and the over inflated egos of many of the idols around, Hyoyeon was assured that Donghae would have a thorough telling off for his behaviour.

“Chalk one up to the vice president,” she said.

She hated using her trump card, especially when she’d gone through so much trouble to hide her connections from everyone in the company but there was no choice. And this way maybe Donghae would stop being so…Donghae.

***

“You sure you don’t want to dress me?” Donghae asked, easing out of his jacket, “I mean you are the stylist, I don’t know what to do with all these zippers and buttons…”

Hyoyeon rolled her eyes. A week after the shin kicking episode and there had been zero change.  Somehow he’d managed to convince her uncle that it was all a misunderstanding but that he would try his best to make her feel as comfortable as possible in her position as stylist.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye as he pulled his cell phone out to read a text message he’d just received. With his head bowed and his brow furrowed as he concentrated on the message she almost wanted to reach forward and brush away the hair that fell over his eyes. That is until he looked up and winked at her.

The Donghae she had come to know in person now was not the Donghae she’d seen from afar. For the most part she’d always heard good things about Donghae and on the few occasions she’s seen him at SM’s various private events and parties he’d been very polite and dare she say it sweet, yet somehow over the past year the rumours surrounding him had escalated and become common knowledge to anyone with a connection to the entertainment world.

The sensitive young man who had cried on live television as he recounted his father’s untimely passing a few years earlier, or who smiled with such sweetness and innocence that the first time he’d actually made a pass at her she’d chastised herself for imagining strange things or whose emotions seemed to be so perfectly mirrored in his eyes despite any attempts he made to cover them up was simply gone.

 Then again, she thought dryly, lust was an emotion of sorts and she had clearly seen that in his eyes.

She shook the thoughts from her head and told herself to concentrate on her job. She had to get him ready for his next stage.

Lee Donghae’s solo debut following Super Junior’s hiatus two years earlier had been an absolute success, his new edgy image had captured the public’s attention and his vocal skills had proved him to be more than just a pretty face.

Her inner fan girl who’d always had a soft spot for him was secretly proud but on the surface she kept hoping she’d be reassigned to some other artist, Siwon seemed nice enough. He was a good Christian with a seemingly good head on his shoulders and a blossoming acting career and she had after all always wanted the less hectic position of an actor’s stylist. Then again, she’d been wrong about Donghae...

Maybe f(x)’s stylist team needed a new addition?

“Those clothes are for the next performance, those over there are for the press conference after, got it?” she asked trying hard to keep her mounting impatience from her voice.

Donghae looked around, seemingly confused, “Sorry, which are for the next performance and which are for the conference.”

He unbuckled his belt and undid the top button of his jeans, letting the zipper come loose with a faint buzz.

‘I will not be fazed,’ Hyoyeon repeated the mantra she had come to depend on in her head.  He was always trying to push her buttons, push her out of her comfort zone. So far he hadn’t succeeded.

“Those over there are for the next performance, those over- Oh God!”  Hyoyeon exclaimed as Donghae hooked his hands on either side of the waistband of his jeans then pulled them down and off revealing a pair of black boxer briefs and long lean muscular thighs.

She whipped around and closed her eyes. She could practically feel his self satisfied smirking. ‘I will NOT be fazed!’ she yelled in her mind. She was still in her comfort zone, teetering over the edge of it for sure, but she was still hanging on.

“Come now, don’t act like you’ve never been curious,” he chided, clearly amused.

She took a subtle breath to calm herself before replying, “I can honestly say that I haven’t.”

“Really? You do like guys right?”

She let out a frustrated huff, “That isn’t the issue here. You can’t just go whipping your pants off all over the place…”

“This isn’t all over the place…I’m in my dressing room, dressing.”

She nearly turned around to give him one of the ‘you can’t be serious looks’ she had come to perfect over the course of her dealings with him.

“Hm…I really thought you’d turn around just then!” he teased.

She stiffened as she felt him very close behind her, the heat radiating off his body seemed to sear her and she made to move away but before she could she felt his hands lock around her arms.

“Why are you always running away from me?” he asked.

She sighed but didn’t reply, wasn’t the answer obvious? She wondered.

Here he was standing half close behind her, his hands locked around each of her arms holding her in place and he had to ask why she was always running away?

“I mean am I that repulsive to you?” he asked, something in his voice stirred something in her.

She paused at the harsh term he’d used.

“Answer me…”

Did he really think she was avoiding him because she found him repulsive? The idea seemed ludicrous. He had to be winding her up and yet she was already trying to come up with a way of expressing her feelings without hurting his.

It was a good thing she wasn’t looking at him, one stray look into his puppy dog brown eyes and she’d be lost.

Before she could reply however, he released her.

“If you don’t want me to pin you up against the wall and have my way with you, you should leave. The white is for the press con and the navy is for the next performance right?” his tone was different, serious and detached.

“…uh…yeah, that’s right.”

Not daring to look back, but admittedly tempted to, Hyoyeon walked out of the dressing room. Just in time because Park Sunwoo, the head of Super Juniors management team and current personal manager to Donghae walked in with the itinerary of the evening’s activities.

***

“Yeah can you believe it? Apparently he invited them back from one of the night clubs he’d gone to!”

“Omo! I can’t imagine it. Was it really Donghae?”

“Yes! I heard it from Seongmi just this morning. He was celebrating his MAMA win and went out with a few friends, they hit the town hard and got to talking with some girls and he invited them to his hotel room!”

“So scandalous…you really can’t judge a book by its cover right?”

“Totally!”

Hyoyeon sighed for what had to be the hundredth time in five minutes. All morning she’d been bombarded by the newest scandal surrounding Donghae. From her direct co-workers to the servers in the cafeteria whose conversation she was now trying very hard to ignore.

Having worked with Donghae for about three months now, she had witnessed firsthand his darker streak, the drinking, the partying, and the girls but behind all that there seemed to be something more, something of his old self.

There were moments when he’d look at her as she explained a concept that made her feel that all his attention was on her and he valued what she was saying, as though the advantages of cubic zirconium over real gem stones actually mattered in the grand scheme of things. Sometimes she’d hear him laugh about something and wonder at how infectious and genuine his laugh could be. And at times even though she was annoyed by his much too forward flirtation the smiles he gave her seemed sincere, reaching his eyes and lighting up his whole face. But that was only sometimes. Most of the time…

But since that evening when he’d told her to leave the dressing room, he’d become more guarded around her, still flirtatious but less inclined to touch her unnecessarily. On some level she was relieved by the change but on another it felt as though an invisible wall had been put up between them.

You’re just a stylist, Hyo, she corrected herself standing up from her table and heading to the waste bin to dump her empty food tray. That invisible wall existed between all support staff and their artists. They were the stars, she and others like her were just the dark back drop that existed to make them shine even brighter.

“Hyoyeon!” a voice called to her. A familiar voice.

She turned around to see Sunny, a member of another one of SM entertainment’s stellar groups ‘Girl’s Generation’ running towards her.

“I thought it was you, but I couldn’t be sure!” Sunny said giving her a warm hug.

“How’ve you been?” Hyoyeon asked.

“Great! Just busy busy busy! We’re getting ready for our Japanese promotions, preparing for a digital single. It’s hectic.”

“All that hard work has paid off, I loved your last single!”

 “You could have been part of that magic too Dancing Queen!”

Hyoyeon laughed at her friend’s use of her old nickname. How long ago had someone used that name for her? Five years! She scrunched up her nose. Way too long.

She looked Sunny up and down, her friend looked great, glowing from the inside. And the main reason behind that was because Sunny was doing something she loved. She had been a trainee at SM for nearly seven years making it as far as being drafted into Girl’s Generation but at the last minute changed her mind and dropped out. She had no regrets though, well maybe a few but she was doing what she’d always wanted to do. Fashion had always been her calling, throughout the seven years as a trainee she’d found herself always questioning the stylists around them, asking for advice and finding out all she could about their jobs.

“I still have the moves,” she said, “If this job gets too hard I might give GG a try, if you’ll have me.”

“Always!” Sunny replied then paused to glance down at her phone which had just beeped announcing the arrival of a text message, “Sorry, I’ve got to run. It was great seeing you!”

Hyoyeon waved Sunny off and made her way up to the stylist team office. She had to finalise some shoe choices for Donghae’s next round of appearances and performance and to do that she’d have to call him up to arrange a meeting so he could okay the options she’d picked out.

One ring. Two rings. Three…ten…just as she was about to give up, he picked up.

“Hello,” his groggy voice came through.

“Uh,” she paused unsure if she should continue, “Hi…Were you still asleep?”

“Mhm…its okay-” he yawned, “It was about time I woke up anyway.”

Hyoyeon glanced down at her watch, it was almost 2pm, talk about the understatement of the century.

“I need us to go over some shoe options for the next round of promotions, can we meet today…or?”

“Sure but you’ll have to come here…I don’t feel so good, not sure what I had to drink but for something that had me feeling so damn good last night its pulled one hell of a reversal on me! My head is throbbing.”

“Here as in your apartment?” she asked doubtfully.

“Yes…”

“Okay…”

He chuckled, “I won’t try anything if that’s what you’re worried about…unless you want me too…”

“See you in twenty,” she hung up the phone.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Donghae laughed at the loud and angry click of the phone as Hyoyeon hung up on him. He didn’t know why but winding her up always put a smile on his face. She was so different from the women that surrounded him right now, there wasn’t a trace of celebrity on her, she lacked the pretentiousness of the princess type girls who used their money and influence to get backstage passes to his shows and to gain entry to his after parties and she didn’t fawn over him in the slightest, she was, for lack of a better description, a refreshing change from the norm.

He closed his eyes momentarily. She was also incredibly attractive and on some level he had to admit he did like her or want her or some confusing mix of the two. Despite his flirtation with the blonde haired stylist he liked their relationship’s status quo, with him playing the relentless Casanova and her playing the disinterested damsel. A few months ago he would have made it his mission to get her in his bed but after getting to know her, he found he liked her too much to complicate matters between them.

He’d also be hard pressed to find a stylist who complimented his style as well as she did too.

He got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, took a quick shower and changed into a pair of sweat pants and a white t-shirt before making his way to the kitchen.

“Great,” he murmured as he opened the fridge to find little else than a few bottles of water, a half finished bottle of vodka and a bag of limes.

As though in reproach his stomach rumbled, “I have nothing to give you,” he said giving his stomach a small apologetic pat.

He turned his gaze to the living room, it was a mess, a testament to the small house party he’d thrown the night before. Glasses and platters of snacks were strewn all over, empty bottles of soju lined up on the coffee table as though someone had attempted to clean up and then given up half way.

He sighed and was about to make his way back to the relatively cleaner surroundings of his bedroom when he remembered who was coming over.  She already had a bad enough impression of him, dirty and untidy were not traits he wanted her to add onto her likely long list of bad impressions of him.

He got to cleaning, she’d said she’d be at his house in twenty minutes, it had been ten minutes since her call and as Hyoyeon was almost always late, he probably had another ten minutes to clean up.  He hoped she wouldn’t choose this time to show him her punctual side.

Fifteen minutes later, the living room was restored to some order. The bottles were tied up in black rubbish bags hidden in an empty cupboard under the sink. The glasses and plates, emptied of leftovers, were in the dish washer and the tables had been wiped clean. The cushions on the sofa and armchairs had been puffed and neatly arranged and he’d opened the apartment’s large bay windows to allow some fresh air in.

He looked around at the room and smiled. This was more like it.

He settled down on the sofa to wait for her. Right on time with his prediction the door bell rang a few minutes after he’d sat down. After casting a self-conscious look around the house and then chiding himself for acting like he was welcoming a date into his house and not his stylist he walked to the door. He smoothed his hair and opened the door.

Standing in the hallway, carrying a number of shoe boxes stacked under each arm and a paper bag in each hand stood Hyoyeon, looking every bit the flustered, overworked golden haired stylist he knew.

He considered helping her with the bags but only stepped aside and ushered her in. He chuckled at the death glare she levelled at him as she made her way into the house. She fumbled with getting her sneakers off and slipping her feet into the slippers in the hallway before making her way to the living room.

“Do you need some help,” he offered at last as she leaned down near the sofa to off load her cargo.

He smiled cheekily at the glare she shot his way.

“No…” she muttered, “I’m good.”

He walked over to her and cast a perusing glance at the boxes.

“Here,” she said holding the paper bags she’d carried in towards him.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“Something for your hangover,” she said simply.

He took the bags and peeked inside each in turn. An eight pack can of tangerine flavoured vitamin tonic with two bags of pokapoka chips. He didn’t even have to check the other paper bag to know that it contained a chicken stew take way. The smell of the rich spicy stew drew an appreciative rumble from his stomach. He looked down at Hyoyeon who was busy unpacking the shoes and arranging them on the floor. These were all his favourites.

“Thanks…” he murmured, a little stunned by the gesture.

“No problem. Let’s work while you eat okay? I want to get this finalised as soon as possible,” she turned to the paper bag with the chicken stew, “There’s a rice bowl and some other side dishes at the bottom as well.”

Donghae nodded then unpacked the food quietly and settled down to eat. He downed a vitamin tonic bottle first then started on the chicken stew.

“How did you know what to buy…I mean… these are all my favourites,” he asked through a mouthful of tender seasoned chicken.

“Hm?” Hyoyeon said absently, “Any SuJu fan knows you like tangerines and Dak Dori Tang.”

Donghae nodded at that and swallowed the chicken, ‘Any fan knows you like tangerines and Dak Dori Tang.’

“That isn’t really something any ordinary fan would know,” he pointed out.

He smiled at the rising colour in Hyoyeon’s cheeks.

“Yes they would,” she replied with a huff, “It’s common knowledge...”

“Common knowledge for the hard core fans maybe…tell me Hyoyeon are you a secret ELFish?” he smirked.

“ELFish? What’s that? Some sect or something?” she asked feigning ignorance.

He laughed at the determined effort she was making not to meet his eyes.

“Kim Hyoyeon, I’m flattered. Here I was thinking you didn’t even like me but you could very well be president of my fan club!”

“I am not,” she exclaimed, “Here are the shoes, pick the ones you like-”

“No changing the subject. So tell me, what is it about oppa that you love so much?”

Hyoyeon squared her shoulders and looked up at him, “I may have liked you a little at some point, as a fan that is, but that’s neither here nor there. Here, choose…” she pointed to the 6 pairs of shoes she’d laid out in front of him and launched into an uninterruptable explanation of which outfit each of the shoes would be paired with.

“You pick,” he said at the end of her explanation, lifting up his bowl of Dak Dori Tang to take a sip of the broth.

She threw him an exasperated look.

“Really, I’m not being flippant about it. I trust your sense, so I’m fine with whatever you choose, it would probably look better than anything I chose anyway.”

Her eyes widened in surprise at the indirect compliment but she quickly recovered and started to pack up the shoes.

“So…” Donghae began, “I couldn’t help but notice your use of the past tense…’you may have liked me a little…’ That means you don’t like me anymore?”

At first he thought she hadn’t heard him and for an instant he felt relieved. He wasn’t sure why he was asking her such questions. It didn’t matter did it?

“Well you’ve changed a lot…” she said, “You’re so…” she paused then shook her head as though thinking better of her wording, “Different.”

“Different? A lot of people like the new me. “Fun Donghae” is a big hit.”

Hyoyeon shook her head, “You were fun before…”

“How would you know?” he leaned forward, his voice low.

“I just do.”

“You’re evading questions like an idol,” he laughed.

Hyoyeon tugged at the long braid over her shoulder. She didn’t really want to tell him that she’d been what he’d described as a hard core fan at some point in her life. She’d had her uncle send her invites to all the Super Junior events both public and private, concerts, fan meetings, after parties she’d been to them all. She most definitely didn’t want him to know that he’d been her favourite member.

“What are you thinking?” he asked softly.

She looked up in surprise. That tone of voice, the look in his brown eyes.  A familiar feeling tugged at her heart.

“I’m thinking that the old Donghae was the best,” she replied sincerely.

A sad smile lit his face and he was silent for a long while and then finally as though deciding to let her in on some long held secret he spoke, “That Donghae got wiped away Hyoyeon. He was shown firsthand what being a star means and he was totally wiped away. This,” he gestured toward himself, “This is all there is left.”

Her brows furrowed, “What do you mean by that?”

For a brief moment Donghae considered telling Hyoyeon what he’d had to do to get the fame he now had, what he’d had to give up to get himself back on track after Super Junior had gone on hiatus and he’d found his career spiralling into oblivion.

But he couldn’t. He was too disgusted with himself, with how low he’d fallen, he hadn’t even made amends with himself, what would she think of him if she knew? She was still so innocent and naïve. Enough to still like him on some level despite the way he acted towards her and despite his reputation. He’d rather have her live in a fantasy world where he was still the sweet boy next door than find out the lengths he’d gone to in an attempt to kick start his career.

“It’d be more fun for you to find out yourself,” he replied forcing as much nonchalance into his voice, tucking back in into his food.

Hyoyeon watched him out of the corner of her eye as she gathered her things. ‘…shown firsthand what being a star means and he was totally wiped away.’ What did he mean? Yes, being an idol was hard work, she supposed, and SM was known to be particularly strict and regimented but it was hardly reason enough for Donghae to pull a total 180 degree turn in life and become some reckless party animal with a devil may care attitude.

“Could you find it in your heart to become an ELFish for this new Donghae?” he asked just as she stood up to leave.

There it was again. That same look that same tone of voice…old Donghae.

“I don’t think that would be very hard to do,” she replied.