Looking for you...

The two boys were there,the blonde on the top of the tree and the other laying under it.

The blonde was staring; at the sun set, at the village, at the trees, at the empty soccer field and at the pretty butterflies flying around the ground. Then his stare landed on the other, seemingly so peaceful, sleeping right under him. He coughed a little, quickly covering his mouth by his hand, afraid of waking the other up. He wiped his mouth carefully with his handkerchief and put it back on his pocket. Really, he must be really be more careful of the other.

He fidgeted so he could take a better look at the other. His eyelashes were long and gentle, his thin lips were pink and moist, his jaw line was sharp. He was childlike, both his appearance and attitude. A unique charm, built up by joyful laughter and childish manner. Beautiful and reckless, adorned with dark black hair, and prominent auburn eyes that seemed to harbor a soft light in them. His white skin looked softer than snow in winter.  

But that didn’t simply mean they were couple, cause truth to be told, they weren’t. Yes, they shared those intimate hugs and kisses, all those cheesy lines and flirts; but that was all.

That was all.

Not that he didn’t feel anything toward the other—the magnetic force they got for each other was way beyond imagination--but simply because it wasn’t allowed to be more. Their love was shared on stage, and ONLY on stage, their love was only fanservice as required of them to gain attention. His professional side had strictly warned him: if you’re acting like you're in love, you mustn’t fall in love. Of course, in that period when you’re acting, you must have the feeling of being in love. In those moments, no matter whether you love the other as he is or as someone else, you must love him. Because the thing fans looked for was sincerity, and they can spot fakes from a mile away.

But that’s it.

It was supposed to end there.

Except, of course, the blonde thought, that the other was not professionals; one that could easily fall for fake love. And he was so sure that one smile was enough--and in fact it was--to make the other fall in love with him. Not that the other will ever tell him that, cause he seriously didn’t know what he would do if the other say so, but the warm atmosphere around them was a clear indication of something, anything.

It was regrettably one-sided , he thought, cause he did not fall for this man.

No.

He was a professional after all.

...Right?

“Hyukkie?” A soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he quickly look down. He was surprised that he didn’t realize that the other was already awake. Since when his senses failed him?

“Y-yeah, Hae? What’s wrong? I thought you’re sleeping,” the blonde jumped down from the tree and landed on his feet.

The other smiled, getting up. “I was, and I just woke up. There’s a message from manager hyung, he said that we should get going before it gets too dark. Beside, Leeteuk hyung was dead worried about us suddenly goes missing.”

Eunhyuk smiled back, lending his hand and helped Donghae to stand up. “So you want to go home now?”

“Should we go home?”

“Do you want to?”

Donghae was silent for a while, before shaking his head and pouting. “No. Here’s better. It’s quiet here.”

The blonde nodded. He understands the feeling—the exact feeling he has—of peacefulness the place emmits. It’s simply a quiet calm village, not some stressful, noisy urban city with paparazzi on every corner of the street. The elders mostly dominated the population here. And they would just smile and let them be, because really, they are old people, and they act like one. They are not interested in gossips of the young.

“Okay then,” he smiled, taking Donghae’s hand into his and leading the way.  “We’ll ask the villagers whether we can stay for a day or two.”

“Really?” his eyes sparkled, and Eunhyuk couldn’t help but laughed. “Is it okay?”

“Yeah. It’s okay, I’ll take care of it.”

Donghae giggled in joy, hugging the other for a short while before excitedly dragging the man faster to the village. “Hyukkie’s the best!” He sang, and Eunhyuk couldn’t help but smile.

No.

Not right.

Eunhyuk must admit, that though Donghae wasn’t so much of a professional, he gave a certain feeling that bring warmth and happiness that Eunhyuk was longing for. Moreover, for the first time in his whole life, which was full of acts, he felt like he found someone that could break his mask.

For someone like Donghae to make him crack... 

So now that he was here, with him, in the middle of an unknown village, where no members could bother them (though Eunhyuk was slightly worried about his meals since Ryeowook was wayyyyy to far to reach and both of them in cooking), he wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell Donghae everything about himself.

It’s now or never, he told himself.

Eunhyuk smiled. “Come on, let’s go ask,” he said.

The owner of the house was a nice old lady. She accepted their request kindly, smiling. She lend them an empty bedroom; the lady said that it once belonged to her son, before he went to Seoul. Since now it was empty, they could use it as long as they want. There, they played, many games, every game they could think of. They laughed, they tell jokes—about Super Junior, about the members, about fans, about everything and anything—and they enjoyed themselves.

“Ah,” Eunhyuk said. “I need to go to the toilet. Stay here, okay?”

Donghae replied the smile, nodding. 

Eunhyuk smiled a little.

Soon Eunhyuk was standing on the bedroom floor, sighing. He coughed.

He can’t. He was not brave enough to tell the truth. That he felt something strong inside him, feelings that bothered him every time he meet Donghae. He simply couldn’t, cause if he told him that, he must tell him everything. And he could not do that.

He tiptoed to the kitchen and talked to the lady.

“Can you do me a favor, please?”

____________

Eunhyuk went back to the bedroom and found Donghae playing with his phone.

“I’m back,” he said, throwing himself onto the bed. “What are you doing?”

“Browsing,” Donghae sing-song.

“About what?”

“Us,” he giggled, rolling closer to the other. “About Eunhae. We’re very popular, you know?”

Eunhyuk showed his gummy smiled. Though tears were threatening to fall, Donghae mustn’t see. He put on his best smile.

One last act.

“We are indeed,” he said.

A knock was heard from the door, and the lady came in with a tray of drink. “I brought you some tea."

“I'm sorry to inconvinience you,” Eunhyuk smiled and helped her placing the tea on the table. “Thank you very much.”

The lady nodded. “Your welcome.”

Eunhyuk brought a cup of tea and handed it to the other. “Drink it when it’s still warm. Tea’s good for your health.”

Donghae nodded and took the tea. "What about you?"

“Seeing you drink is enough,” Eunhyuk piched his cheeks playfully. 

Donghae drink it slowly and placed the empty cup to the table. He jumped out of the bed and pour a cup of tea. “Now your turn! I wanna see you dr...”

He stopped, his vision suddenly went blurry. “Hyukkie? Hyukkie!” He panicked when he felt his legs shaking, and he would fall if Eunhyuk did not catch him.

And he saw it.

The desperation in Eunhyuk's eyes, inside the caring and strong Lee Hyukjae he knew all this time.

“It’s okay, Hae-ah,” Eunhyuk said. “It’s okay.”

And Donghae passed out.

I couldn't find you