I laid under a shade tree, staring up at it. Being here, like this, reminded me of home. The familiar smell of the cool grass that was pressed against my back made me think about the times when I used to go to the park with my little brother, since I didn’t have friends until my last year of high school. I rolled over, pulling my brand new phone out of my pocket and looked at it. Now might be a good time to call. It was about nine at night back home. Mom and dad would be going to bed soon.

I unlocked the phone and typed in my mom’s cell phone number. I bit my lip as it rang on speaker phone. It’s been almost 4 days since they’ve heard from me. Hopefully they weren’t too worried about me. It rang four times and then I heard a click.

“Hello?” my mom’s voice said from the other end.

“Mom?” I asked.

“Ryver?” she exclaimed.

“Yeah, it’s me,” I said, biting my lip nervously.

“How’ve you been, sweety? Are you doing okay?” She went on.

“Yes, mom. I’m fine, still kicking anyways,” I laughed.

“Your father and I were beginning to worry,” She said.

“I’m sure. I just got my phone today, I’m sorry it took so long,” I said apologetically.

“Your father and I thought…well, you probably don’t want to know the sorts of things that were running through our heads,” She continued.

“I’m sure I have a pretty accurate idea,” I said, “But I’ve been on my Facebook.”

“Ryver, you know I don’t bother with that stuff,” she sighed.

“I guess you’re right,” I said, watching as Onew ran past with Taemin on his back. I stifled a giggle.

“Who was that?” She almost shouted.

“Just the boys,” I said nonchalantly.

“What boys?” she pressed.

“Mom, I told you, I’m working with a boy band,” I answered.

“And they’re with you now?” She asked.

“Well, yeah. I live with them,” I said, confused by her reaction.

“Excuse me? How many are there?”

I sighed. It was obvious that she was going to react this way.

“Mom, I live with five professional young men,” I said, emphasizing the word ‘professional’.

“Alright,” she said, still sounding wary.

That’s when something heavy planted itself onto my back. I groaned under the sudden added weight.

“What’s wrong?” My mom asked.

I turned to see Key sitting on my lower back. He shot a cheesy grin at me and wiggled his fingers.

“Nothing. Just Key sitting on me,” I giggled.

“Who?” she pushed for more information.

“Hello, Ryver’s mom,” Key called out.

“Uh, hello,” she murmured.

Why is my mom so awkward?, I thought to myself.

“Mom,” I started, “you should have Uncle Jeff come over and set up a Skype account on the computer for you and dad. Then we can video chat and I can introduce you to SHINee.”

“Okay, I’ll do that,” she agreed.

“I should probably get back to the children,” I laughed. I could practically hear her shaking her head at me.

“Alright, sweetheart. Be safe, I love you,” she said.

“Love you too mom,” I smiled and the boys, who had come to surround me bid adieu to her in unison.

I hit the “end” button and then squirmed underneath Key’s weight until I was out from under him. I picked myself up off the ground, dusting the grass and dirt off of my pants. Key, who had fallen over, stood and did the same.

“So, what else did you have planned?” I asked curiously.

“Since it’s so hot outside, we thought we would go get some Naengmyeon,” Onew answered.

“And that would be..?” I said, unsure of what exactly that was.

“It’s cold noodles,” Key replied, “you’ll like it.”

“Sounds strange, but, you know, while in South Korea,” I smiled, shifting my weight back and forth on the balls of my feet.

All but Key looked at me with confused expressions.

“you know, like ‘when in Rome’ but instead it’s South Korea?”  I tried to explain, but none seemed any less confused.

Finally, Key came to the rescue, taking a quick intake of air, “it’s an expression used in America when someone does something that they wouldn’t normally do. It’s kind of a way of saying ‘well, why not?’” he explained and they finally understood.

“I’m sorry. I have to remember that you guys won’t always understand my lingo,” I apologized.

“Let’s go already. I’m starving!” Jonghyun whined from behind Minho.

Key rolled his eyes and then directed me in the right direction. We left the park, making our way back to the city. As we made our way through the crowd, I hooked my pointer and middle fingers through Key’s belt loop on my left and did the same to Onew, who was on my right. Key had already been through this, but Onew seemed taken aback and looked at me, confused.

I smiled, blushing awkwardly, “I used to do this to my dad when I was younger so that I wouldn’t get lost.” He smiled and nodded, paying no further attention to it. I looked away from him, but not before making eye contact with Taemin, who had been eyeing my hands, hooked to the pants of the boys on each side of me. His eyes flickered with a hint of jealousy and some other emotion, as though he were restraining himself from something.  He’d been this way with me almost all day. Short and virtually unreadable. I made a mental note to ask him about this the second I got him alone. Could it be that he was upset that I was becoming close with the other members instead of him? Or maybe he was still conflicted over the happenings of the night before. Instead of jumping to conclusions, I just decide to ask later.

As my train of thought began running at full speed, I jerked to my right by Onew. He pulled me into a restaurant and, to be honest, it smelled heavenly. My stomach growled at me. I didn’t realize how hungry I was. I released Onew and Key and Onew pointed to a table in the corner of the small dining area, suggesting that I take a seat. I do as I’m told, making my way over to the table. I sit down and then notice that Taemin followed me. I smiled warmly at him and then pat the seat next to me, offering him that chair.

He reluctantly takes it and I can tell that he’s tense. He doesn’t look at me, but down at the table in front of him. I reflexively place my hand gently on his shoulder and notice that he, if possible, tenses up even further.

“Taemin,” I said, keeping my voice low, “is there something you wish to tell me?”

He sneaks a glance at me and my eyes meet his, holding his gaze, begging for an answer. I feel him take a deep breath and then release it, relaxing his shoulders, “yes.”

I smiled warmly again, “You can talk to me.”

“I feel very nervous and jealous at the same time. Nervous when you’re around because I’m unsure of where we stand and jealous that you show such affection to my hyungs,” He says in a rushed tone.

“Okay,” I say, trying to think of what to say to him, “Well, there’s no reason that you should feel nervous. What happened is done and there no erasing it. We’ve established that it’s not a regret of mine. However, I think you may be overthinking it. The fact still stands that we barely know each other and we should take a step or two back before going any further. As for my affection towards the other members, it’s merely a brotherly love. Key and Onew have both made me feel very safe and at home here in South Korea. That’s something that I had originally thought would be impossible.”

He nods, his expression becoming solemn, “And I haven’t. I see.”

I laugh, which caused him to jump slightly. “There you go again, overthinking it, Taemin. Just because they are very close to my heart, it’s not on the same level. Do you think I would have done what I’d done if it weren’t you who had a hold of me and it had been Key? It’s quite obvious that I could have taken Key at any point as he’s glued to my side every second.”

 For a second he smiles and then he places his hand on mine, which is still on his shoulder, and says, “I guess you’re right, Ryver. I’ve been foolish. I apologize.”

“Don’t be,” I say just above a whisper.

He turns his full attention to me, staring deeply into my eyes as though he was searching for an answer to an unasked question. It wasn’t until I heard the loud screeching of chairs on the tile that I noticed that our faces had been getting closer by the second. I sat back quickly, clearing my throat and placing both hands in my lap as I nervously fidgeted with my fingers. I didn’t look up as Key sat a bowl in front of me. I merely nodded and thanked him for the meal.