“I don’t want to see you anymore.”

 

She couldn’t look at him straight in the eyes—she couldn’t fall for the same trick once again.

 

What was the trick? Taemin, himself, was the trick. Without knowing, she fell for it—she fell for him. And she couldn’t pull herself from the oblivion; well, at least she’s trying to.

 

She held back her tears—she didn’t want to show him how weak she actually was—she wanted to show him she’s stronger, she’s better. She wanted to let him know she could actually live without him, like how she always did before he happened. She doesn’t need to get broken for the umpteenth time just because of that man who consistently broke her heart—that’s why she has to let him go.

 

He suddenly grabs her by the shoulders, making her heart somersault in the air, her lungs trying to gasp for air to breathe.

 

“Why are you being like this?” Taemin snapped as his grasp grew tighter and tighter, making her wince in pain.

 

Was he actually angry? she asks herself and smiles. “Taemin has emotions,” she chuckled as if the thought was too foreign for her.

 

All the memories flushed in. He did have emotions, how funny it was to her; although how seldom it may be, he actually did have emotions.

 

But she shook her head and reminded herself the bad things—the bad things that happened that brought them together to this situation—to finally end everything they had. Did they even have anything at hand?

 

“Being like what, Taemin, being like you?” her voice quavers but she just snorts and looks at him, by the eyes, and sees Taemin—his eyes sagged, his lips shivering—and regretted it.

 

She wanted to give in, to feel him in her arms again, his warm breath against her skin, her soft lips against his—but she couldn’t. She fought the tempations because she knows pride is all she has and she shouldn’t lose it to Taemin neither. Not again.

 

She brushes him off and turned her back away from him but he embraces her from behind, making her catch her breath. She has been longing for this moment but she knew she had to break away, stop this madness and move on. She mentally slapped herself for letting emotions win over her; she knew that this time she had to use her head because if she lets him into her life again, he’d just repeat the same mistakes.

 

“Let’s s-start over,” he stammers, “forget Jonghyun—f-forget about him! I’ll change, I p-promise,” he sobs as he rests his forehead on her right shoulder, embracing her tighter more than he should.

 

 Taemin was crying—crying in front of her for the first time. Rather a powerful emotion besides anger, hatred. There was a part of her that wanted to forgive him, forget all the things he did, start anew but no. It’s something that couldn’t be easily forgotten, it’s something that would be tattoed forever in her mind, in her heart, in her soul and the damage’s been badly done. She knows it’s impossible to bring it all back anymore. He knows it too—but he’s trying—actually trying to beat the odds.

 

“It’s never about Jonghyun,” she manages a weak smile but fades as soon as she removes his arms wrapped on her waist and bravely mutters, “Forget me like how I’m going to forget you.”

 

She walks away, steps heavier each time, as he shouts her name, making her pause for a moment—because it was the first time he did—but she shook her head, reminding herself, “It’s over.”

 

She hears a loud thump; Taemin drops to his knees, weeping, but she continues to walk, trying to make her senses numb, stopping her train of thoughts that of him, that of Taemin.

 

He calls her name again, the vein on his forehead throbbing, waiting for her to turn back, run into him and try to restore everything they had. But she just kept on walking, with every last shred of his hope fading, dissolving into thin air.

 

“Goodbye,” she mumbles as a tear fell down her cheek, while promising it would be the last she’s going to cry over that stupid Taemin.