Because Of You

Saturday 9^th February

For a second time, Siwan woke of with an arm tightly wrapped around his waist and Heechul’s face pressed into the back of his head. Siwan curled his legs up so that his cold feet were tucked under the blanket they had pulled over themselves the previous night. He was about to drift back to sleep, his head comfortable resting on Heechul’s arm when he realised that the clock was chiming 9.30 AM and that his parents were likely to be home within the next half an hour.

Siwan elbowed Heechul in the stomach causing him to splutter and cough awake as Siwan hopped into his boxers. Heechul’s hand snapped out and grabbed Siwan’s ankle causing him to lose his balance.

“What is wrong with you?” Heechul muttered his eyes barely open, sleepily blinking at the fallen figure of Siwan.

“My parents will be home soon.” Siwan rubbed his elbow where he had banged it on the coffee table.

“Are you ashamed of me or something?” Heechul curled up in a ball and closed his eyes, trying to return to sleep.

“No. I just didn’t think my parents would be too pleased to come home to find us in the living room.” Siwan began to search the room for their clothes, finding them scattered alarmingly far across the room.

Heechul yawned, sitting up and stretching him arms. “I suppose you’re right.” It was a grudging agreement at best. His boxers landed on his head as Siwan threw them at him.

“Put those on before I jump you or something.” Siwan muttered. He dumped the rest of Heechul’s clothes on the floor beside him. “I’m going to take a shower.”

Siwan was at the door when he heard a somewhat more awake voice call out behind him. “Wait for me.”

Siwan laughed as Heechul caught up to him before he even got to the bottom of the stairs.

The warmth of the shower rained down on both of them and Siwan leaned into Heechul’s offered embrace.

“Your waist is tiny.” Heechul muttered as he wrapped his arms around it. “Like a girl.”

Siwan wacked him on the arm, speaking through gritted teeth. “I am not a girl!”

“Believe me, I know.” Heechul chuckled.

Over the noise of the water hitting his back, Siwan picked out the sound of the door opening and registered that his parents were home. As much as he felt he should get out of the shower to welcome them home, Siwan succumbed to warmth of the shower surrounding him, and the comfort of Heechul’s tight embrace.

 Thursday 21^st March

“Hey!”

Siwan looked up at the sound of Minwoo voice, expecting to greet his friend as he sat down. Minwoo’s greeting, however, was not aimed at the whole table, it was only aimed at Junyoung. Siwan watched with a raised eyebrow as Junyoung greeted Minwoo with a hug and a kiss on the check before they entered into a whispered conversation. Siwan almost felt guilty for watching their private exchange.

“And I thought that our PDA’s were bad.” Heechul chuckled as he dumped himself next to Siwan. “Aren’t I right pumpkin?” Heechul the side of Siwan’s face, and only laughed as Siwan wacked him on the arm and wiped his face clean of saliva.

“What was that for?” Siwan glared. “And pumpkin? You’ve got to be kidding me?”

“They’re being all cute.” Heechul nodded at the oblivious Minwoo and Junyoung. “I thought we should too.”

“So you me?”

Heechul laughed again. “You didn’t seem to mind so much yesterday when I-“

Siwan slapped his hand over Heechul’s mouth. Kwanghee and Taehun watched them in silence. Kwanghee glared at Heechul. Siwan slowly lowered his hand again, making sure Heechul didn’t say anything else incriminating.

“Now explain the pumpkin.” Siwan said.

“You’re grouchy today. It’s a term of endearment.”

Siwan rolled his eyes. “What, are you suggesting that I’m looking very round and orange today?”

Heechul laughed loudly. “I’ll just stick to calling you Siwannie then.”

Siwan stole Heechul’s sandwich. “Until you learn to be nice to me.” He snapped

Tuesday 2^nd April

Siwan scratched the back of his head in his Geography lesson as he read and highlighted information about dune types. He tried his hardest to ignore the light chatter which had filled the classroom around him, his desire for good grades overruling his want to turn and talk to Kevin. Kevin didn’t share this desire.

“Hey, Siwan.”

“Hmm.” Siwan didn’t look up. He ran his highlighter over the page. Only 20% of deserts are made of sand dunes, or erg.

“Nice love bite.” Kevin said with a chuckle.

Siwan’s head shot up and his fingers prodded his neck. He winced as he pressed a bruise. Siwan fumbled in his bag and pulled out his phone, using the screen as a mirror. Even from the dim screen he could see a darker patch on his neck, rather larger than Siwan had expected.

“.” Siwan whispered. He chucked his phone bag into his bag before the teacher could confiscate it, and pulled out his scarf which he had been meaning to take out of his bag ever since the weather had become warmer a month ago. He wrapped it around his neck, ensuring that it covered the mark.

Siwan leaned towards Kevin. “You saw nothing.” He hissed. Siwan picked his highlighter back up and went back to scanning the page before him.

Kevin chuckled. It wasn’t the first one he’d seen.

Friday 12^th April

Siwan hurried down the corridor, library books piled so high in his arms that he could barely see where he was going. It was the end of the day, and he’d opened his locker to find a stack of overdue books, so he was running to the school library before it closed for the weekend. Siwan made it to the top of the stairs before he tripped, chucking the books out of his arms in an attempt to regain his balance.

Siwan closed his eyes, expecting to feel the bone shattering pain of falling down the stairs. Instead, he stayed where he was, a pair of strong arms holding his waist, pulling him backwards so he wouldn’t fall. Siwan opened his eyes, breathing heavily as the adrenaline raced around his veins.

“I knew that would end in disaster.” Heechul said, pulling Siwan against him. Siwan breathed easier as the familiar feeling of security washed over him. “It’s because you’re wearing so many shoelifts.”

Siwan lightly hit Heechul on the arm. He didn’t feel like he could hit someone who had just saved him from a potential broken leg. Even if it was a jibe about his height.

“If I’m so incapable of walking down the corridor carrying some books, maybe you should do it for me.” Siwan suggested.

“Only because I don’t want you breaking your bones, pumpkin.” Heechul bent down to start gathering up the books.

“Don’t call me pumpkin.” Siwan snapped as he shoved more books into Heechul’s arms.

“Do you want me to take these to the library or not?”

Siwan paused. “Fine. But only for today.”

“Alright then, pumpkin, I’ll make the most of it.” Heechul chuckled. “Oh pass me that book would you, pumpkin!”

Siwan scowled, but handed the book over anyway.

Thursday 20^th June

Exam season was fast approaching and although it was lunchtime, the school lay quiet; students had their heads down, mindlessly turning pages and going over facts as they prepared for the tests ahead. Siwan sat in the library with Minwoo and stared at the textbook in front of him. His eyes moved over the same sentence repeatedly, but his brain wouldn’t take in the words.

“I think I’m going mad.” Siwan muttered. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with his fingertips, trying to stave off a headache which had been threatening to cripple him all day.

Long fingers joined Siwan’s own in rubbing soothing circles on his temples and a soothing voice flitted over his ears in the quiet library. “I thought I’d find you here, pumpkin.”

Siwan allowed a tired smile to grace his lips as Heechul sat down next to him. “You weren’t wrong.”

“You haven’t eaten lunch.”

“That’s two for two. You are on form today.”

“Siwan.”

“Heechullie.” Siwan mocked. He looked up and let his eyes flick over Heechul’s face. Heechul looked just as tired as Siwan’s own reflection had in the mirror that morning. Siwan took the bright red apple that Heechul held in his hand and bit into it, ignoring the very emphatic no eating in the library rule. Heechul smiled in victory, pinching Siwan’s apple filled cheek. Siwan slapped his hand away. “Test me.” He spoke round the apple in his mouth, prodding the textbook towards Heechul.

With a sigh, Heechul picked up the textbook and flicked to a random page.

Wednesday 26^th June

Siwan sat on his desk chair, facing his bed, looking down at Heechul’s face where he was lying on his back. Siwan’s feet were propped up and a geography textbook lay open on his lap. He was testing Heechul, against Heechul’s wishes, and as a result was suffering through having his feet tickled. He’d already kicked Heechul in the face once.

“Pay attention.”

“I am.”

“So answer my question.”

Heechul peered at Siwan. “What was it again?”

“See, you’re far more interested in my feet than passing your exams.”

“You have nice feet.”

Siwan rolled his eyes and repeated the question. “What conditions are needed for a hurricane to form?”

“The sea temperature needs to be at least 27°c at 5° North or South of the equator in order for the Coriolis effect to take place. They usually form between June and November in the Northern Hemisphere. Now can we go and do something fun?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“You.”

Siwan rolled his eyes and dumped the textbook on the floor.

Monday 22^nd July

The ringing of Siwan’s phone awoke him from his deep sleep. Beside him, Heechul groaned in distaste.

“Make it shut up.” Heechul rolled over and clamped his hand over his ear.

Siwan grabbed his phone and stumbled out of his bedroom and into the bathroom next door. He glanced at the bright display before he answered it. It was 9AM and Ha Minwoo was calling.

“Minwoo, this better be good.”

“And good morning to you too!” Minwoo’s cheerful voice filtered down the phone and Siwan scrunched his face at its joyful quality.

“Minwoo, it’s the summer holidays. What’s more it’s the first day of the summer holidays. I only went to sleep five hours ago, why are you calling?”

“Only five hours sleep? What were you doing?”

“Does it matter?” Siwan snapped.

“Oh! Heechul was doing you!”

“Why did you call, Minwoo?” Siwan spat through clenched teeth.

“We’re going to the lake!”

“The what?”

“The lake. You know, that place with water.”

“I know what a lake is.”

“Good, then meet us there in an hour, and bring your boy toy.” Minwoo’s unusual laugh was cut off as Siwan hung up.

One hour and thirty-two minutes later, because Siwan got lost on the way thanks to Heechul dozing off in the passenger seat, they arrived at the lake.

The lake was already surrounded by numerous students, revelling in the first free days of their summer, and enjoying the warm sun. Siwan and Heechul found their small group of friends quite quickly thanks to Minwoo and Kwanghee waving at them madly and Taehun calmly describing their location over the phone.

They spent the day down by the lake enjoying the sun and the freedom. Junyoung had been mindful enough to bring food and as the weather got even warmer, they spent their time paddling in the water and relaxing on the grass, grateful to no longer have the pressure of school or exams on their shoulders.

While everyone else was down at the lake, Siwan rested his head in Heechul’s lap and squinted up at his face, wishing that he had thought to bring his sunglasses.

“Heechul?”

“What, pumpkin?” Heechul bent his head down in order to see Siwan, successfully blocking the sun from Siwan’s view allowing him to open his eyes and look at Heechul properly.

“Why?”

“Why what?” Heechul eyebrows dipped in his confusion.

“Why me? Why everything? Why now?”

Heechul sighed, but smiled all the same. “That is the last time you get to ask that question okay?

“Because you’re pretty, because you work too hard, because you really do smell nice, because I like you a lot more that I probably should, because you met my gaze, because it’s easy to annoy you, because Junyoung had the biggest crush on Minwoo and it was driving me crazy, because I used to hate geography, because you’re too good to ignore, because you’re shorter than me.”

Heechul looked Siwan in the eye. Siwan noticed that a light blush was colouring his cheeks, and a large smile lit up his face. More than before, Siwan was aware of the sharp smell of fresh grass, of the loud noises of his fellow classmates enjoying their freedom, of the scratchy rug beneath his palms, of the lingering taste of lemonade on his tongue, and of Heechul eyes boring into his own like they had done for so many months now, wiping out all his other senses, until all Siwan could sense was Heechul.

Heechul breathed deeply as he spoke softly one last time. “Because of you.”