It was already hard to end without saying a proper goodbye and seeing you again, it tore my heart to say it for real.
 
Kwon Ji Yong, the hatred I had for you...I can no longer surpass it. I use to be able to surpass it every single time I saw you in my dreams and every single time, you would look at me with your pain filled eyes and guilt. I hated you more but no more. I just can't...
 
It feels as if it was only yesterday you left with no words. Yet, it's been alittle over 4 months. I see you again and again in my dreams but today, you're real.
 
Hearing the bell above my dear cupcake shop ring, I smile openly to greet the costumers only to feel my smile fading. I was in the middle of decorating a cake but my thought has been chased away.
 
"Hello." She greeted back gleefully. Sparkles in her eyes. God she was gorgeous. Those features of hers were so doll like, she was so small.
I really had no idea why you left me and in all honestly, I wasn't even sure if we had broken up.
It started with you never showing up for our anniversary in May. Even though it was only dating, you were so excited about that day.
Telling me your plans for your gift, your surprise, I guess I was way over my head.
 
"Ji Yong-ah, are you okay?" she frantically waved her arms in front of your face. Your gaze never leaving mine. Looking at her, I noticed her tummy.
Even though she was small, she had a big tummy. It was as if...
 
"oww..." she said softly gripping her stomach. Your gaze finally breaking free from looking at me, you leaned down to look at her.

Please, don't speak.
 
"Dara..." You spoke so softly. "Don't stress yourself to much, you're 6 months pregnant."
 
6 months? We've only been separated for 4 months and we've been dating for 2 years...
 
Feeling myself heat up, I only then noticed that my cream from my bag was overspilling everywhere.
 
"Just kidding. Yah, it's about time you got back to me. You were spacing out but it was very cute...kekeke." She giggled.
 
"You think it was funny noona? I was about to die. I was worried okay. You're only 6 months pregnant..."

Seeing that she felt guilt, he hugged her. "I'm sorry. I'll never do that again." She pouted.

Sighing, he looked at her with a smile. "Just take care of yourself and our daughter ok?"

Feeling her mood extremely change, she met my gaze with a smile. I couldn't help but smile back. Why was I smiling?
Was it because she had nothing to do with me and Ji or because she was pregnant and I didn't want to worry her? For God's sake, I didn't even know her.
 
"Look Ji Yongie, they're so cute." She pointed at my works. Looking at him, his eyebrows furrowed. Suddenly pouting, she stared at me. "Excuse me--where's your bathroom?"
 
Forcing myself to be nice, I walked to the bathroom and unlocked it, showing her toward the ladies room. Skipping toward the bathroom, it was the first time I ever saw someone skip so happily to the restroom.
Feeling the tensions arise, I looked around for things to do. Should I decorate another cupcake? I just finished a dozen of them though. I guess I can always make more flower cupcakes though. Actually, I noticed my green---

"Bommie" You said ever so softly. Not wanting to look, I act as if I didn't hear you. Trying to walk behind the register as fast as I can, I feel you nearing.
Walking over to me, you grab my arm.
 
"Ji." I looked at your pain stricken face. It was too late though, I wasn't going to give you sympathy.
Suddenly forcing your lips on mine, my eyes widened and it was only then, I had to courage to push you away.
 
"What the heck Ji." I rub my lips. Making sure the girl didn't see, I look at the bathroom door. She hadn't come out yet.

"Please, just listen to me..." you come closer.
 
"Don't." I warned you. "Don't come near me and don't you ever call me Bommie again."
 
Tears taking both our eyes, I squeeze my hands tighter together. "Bom---" You say again coming closer. "I love you."

I love you. The words I've been hearing every single time I saw you in my dreams, the three words you were able to say so easily?
 
"I hate you." I say instead. Watching your eyes show hurt, I wanted to apologize but that only meant I would forgive you and I was no where near forgiving you.
Not for leaving me and not for coming to me especially when you had a girlfriend who was a pregnant.
 
"She's very pretty." I ended up saying more sourly then I meant it to be. "Your daughter is going to be gorgeous if she takes after your girlfriend."
 
"I didn't cheat on you..." you look at the ground speaking.
 
Not knowing what to say, I narrow my eyes at him. "There's nothing more between us. Don't talk so casually."
 
"It was an accident. We were having a hard time and you left for Boston. I went to drink and..."

"There's nothing to be said." I slowly close my eyes to stop the tears forming.
 
"Ji Yong." The girl skipped out happily from the bathroom. Seeing that your eyes almost had tears in them as well, she looks to me.
 
"What's going on?" She said suddenly worried.

"Dara, this is the girl I lo---"

"Your boyfriend wanted to surprise you with a cake before you came out of the bathroom but you came out sooner then expected." I lied with a smile on. After pretending to be happy, I became good at it. Now though, I have a reason to be. "He just a bit upset you now know."
 
Smiling, she hugs you so dearly. "Oh Ji Yong, How I love you."
 
Not even hugging her back, you stare at me. Those looks that would burn through me if I not had them myself.
 
"Yeah, no problem." You tell her, looking at her.
 
"Did you pay for it yet?" She asks so sweetly.
 
"Not yet."
 
Walking to the register, I pack the cake as fast as I can and ring you up.
 
"Please." You whisper as I take out the correct change.
 
Hearing the bell above the door ring again, I look at the door.
 
"Hey Babe." The man walks in with his crescent eye smile.
 
"Youngbae" I say more happily now that I see him.
 
Walking behind the register and pulling me into a kiss, I look at him and smile. "Umm Bae? We have costumers."

Realizing that we actually did have costumers, he blushes and forces a cough.

"Um...sorry about that."

The girl just giggles and smiles. "It's okay. You two are a match." She compliments.
 
"Yep, we've been engaged for 3 months." He proudly shows our rings to you and your girlfriend.
 
"Aigoo, how I'm jealous." She smiles at us.
 
Looking at my ring, you look at the ground shortly after.
 
"Here you go." I say handing you the change along with the cake.
 
"Thank you so very much for making us this cake." She proudly beams as she takes the cake.

"That's my job." I force myself to smile.
 
"Let's go." she drags you toward the door. "Please." You beg one more time.
 
This time, I"ll give you a proper goodbye.
 
"Goodbye..." I say softly as I feel Bae's hand slide around my waist.
 
Just as you and your girlfriend leave the store, I look at Bae. He gives me his smile but it slowly fades.

"You had a bad dream again didn't you?" he asks me so caringly.
 
"Bae, you really don't need to worry about me, about us." I pat my stomach that was now starting to grow.
 
"Why wouldn't I be? You're the love of my life Bom. I'm not letting you go again." He kisses me softly. "I've been in love with you ever since we were kids, I lost you for two years, I'm not letting you go again."

"I don't understand. This baby isn't even yours---" Before I could finish though, his finger was on my lips.

"Don't Bom. Don't you dare say it. We've gone through this already. This baby may not be my blood but that baby is mine. Mine." He whispers in my ears. "I don't give a damn if it was that stupid ex of yours that is the father, that baby is mine and in no hell am I going to give you guys up."
 
"Bae, we've only been engaged for 3 months, you can still back out of this---"

Kissing me on the lips as softly as he can, I can feel him smiling. "I'm not letting you go my future wife and baby."
Finding the reason of happiness in my life, I look at him.
 
"I have something to tell you." I smile pinching him. "It. A. Boy." I kiss him in between the words.

Smiling at me, he doesn't know what to say. Just imagine Ji Yong, if I had told you it was yours.
 
"A boy?" He asks excitedly. "Yes." I laugh looking at him.
Just imagine Ji, alittle you.
 
"My baby is a boy." He lifts me up happily. "I'm so excited Bom. Just imagine when our parents find out."
 
I guess this is my way of giving you a proper goodbye.
 
 
.................................................
 
 
I was so excited Bom, our anniversary. It was the day I wanted to claim you mine.

Gripping the ring in my pocket, a smile creeps across my face. I wanted this moment to last forever...not break.
 
Love?
 
It only loved you...
 
Feeling my phone vibrate, I took it out. It wasn't a number a realized but what if it was important?
 
It was one of the phone calls I wished I never picked up.
 
"Ji Yongshii." She quietly said on the other line. Not recognizing her voice, an eyebrow raised unthinkly.
 
"Um, yeah?"
 
"This is Sandara..."

Sandara? Sandara? Dara!!!
 
"Oh, Dara..." With silence on the other line, I felt my heart tear apart. There was no need for her to call me unless...
 
"We need to talk please." She said softly. I could hear her crying. I could hear myself crying...
 
"Don't tell me please..." I closed my eyes gripping the phone closer.
 
"I'm pregnant Ji." She said. Those 3 words, the words I wanted to hear from you in the future.
 
Walking to where she decided to meet, I felt the ring in my pocket getting heavier and heavier.
It wasn't intentional Bom. It really wasn't.
 
We had a big arguement and you didn't call me before you went to America. You even left your phone back here in Korea.
What was I suppose to do? It was only going to be a week but it felt like a month.
I didn't mean to lift my eyes upon hers nor was it my plan to sleep with her.
 
You would probably be hitting me if I blamed it on the drink but it really was the drink. The drink and my remorse.
 
Meeting Sandara myself, I knew she wasn't lying. I knew you would hate me and maybe never forgive me...
But I also knew you would want me to help her...
I tried...I tried so many times calling you but I later found out, you changed your number.
 
Please, just listen to me. I love you...not her.
 
Meeting you at the shop, I felt my heart revive...only to die again upon seeing your new life...new life without me.
 
"Hey, you okay?" Dara bumped into me while we were walking home.
How I missed holding your hands and walking.
 
"yeah, I'm okay." I answered looking at the ground. Without noticing, we arrived at her home.
 
"Did you want to come in?" she asked opening the gates for me. Shaking my head, she pouted. "I guess a try never hurts anyway." She smiled.
 
Ever since that day Bom, I never stepped into a girl's home again unless it was important. "take care. Just call me if you need anything." I smiled before turning my back on her.

"Ji...please. Can't we just try being in a relationship this once." she begged. Looking at her, I smiled faintly. "Dara--"

"I know, you have someone else you love." She said softly before going in.
 
I never stopped Bom. I wish you could've saw that.
..........................................
 
5 years later....
 
It was spring Bom, the spring that brought you to me.
 
Smiling into the air, I felt somone tugging on me.
 
"appa." She smiled sweetly. Picking her up, I twirled her.
 
"APPA." She giggled causing me to laugh.
 
"Hey, don't make her sick." Dara said grabbing my hand.
 
It was for my daughter that I tried this relationship. I would always pass by your shop on purpose but you were always with him...
 
"Omma, look, the flower." She screamed going to pick a flower up. "Blow on it hunny, you can make a wish." Dara bent down to her eye level.
 
"here appa. You try." She laughed coming over to me. Bending down, I looked at her with a smile.
 
I wish Bom, I could have given you a proper goodbye.
 
Blowing the flower, the seeds flew into the air and Kwon Dae Hae screamed in delight.
 
"Hey Dong Min Hyuk." I heard someone scream from afar. Looking, a little boy around the same age as Dae Hae came running toward the playground.
 
"HYUNG." The younger one screamed in the fathers arm. Looking at the father, my eyes shifted toward the girl beside him. "Bom."

"Harang, you can't scream in public like that." She grabbed him out of the man's arm with a smile.
 
"Put me down." He pouted. Smiling the smile I loved, she let him onto the ground. Running toward his older brother, I looked back at Bom and the man holding hand. Their gold rings shining.
Finally realizing me, she looked at me. Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked back at the two boys.
 
"Min Hyuk, Harang. Let's go to the amusement park." she yelled for them.
With excitement, they ran to her. Of course, the older boy won as he ran to his fathers arm. Seeing that the older boy had won, the little one started crying.
 
"Harang." Bom giggled lifting the boy up. Chuckling, her husband put the older boy down.
"Hey, don't make fun of him." Bom pinched her husband. Containing the chuckle, he grabbed the younger boy.
 
It was weird though, the younger boy was an exact replica of his father but the older one, meeting my gaze again. Bom turned the boy around and walked the other opposite.
He looked almost like....
 
"Hey look Ji. That little boy looks exactly like you." Dara giggled.
 
That boy didn't look exactly like me, he was me.
That means Bom was pregnant when I last saw her...
 
"Don't Ji." Dara said softly watching Dae Hae.
 
"Don't what?" I looked at her.
 
"Don't ruin her life. She's happy. Doesn't it make you happy to know she has a piece of you at least?" Dara looked at me.
 
No matter how much I wanted to run after you, I'll give you this proper goodbye. Looking one last time at me, you smiled before walking beside him...