Her lips were smeared with red lipstick and she had eye makeup running down her face.

What time was it? Where was she? How come she was--

But then, after a million thoughts running through her head, all the events of this past month came crashing back. It was like a wave crashed upon her. Yuri shuddered.

It was raining outside.

Her head was pounding like someone was hitting it with a hammer.

She could faintly smell her mother's perfume still lingering in her childhood home.

Home.

Yuri never guessed she could ever end up back here again. In this bed.

Her phone then started ringing; she closed her eyes, willing for the pain to go away, before she answered.

"Hello? This is Kwon Yuri."

"Oh, hey, girl! Just wanted to make sure you were okay. Last night was crazy and we got SO wasted. Yoon says she still feels drunk! She's so crazy -- you know, when you became an idol I thought nights like last nights would never happen again. It feels like we're back in school again, right? You still never told me why you went on hiatus from being a Soshi member--"

She hung up. Not one ounce of guilt formed in her mind.

Anna had been her friend Before, when she was awkward Yuri. Clumsy Yuri. Silly Yuri.

Now, Yuri was y. Famous. A role model for every young girl in Korea.

She hadn't enjoyed being with Anna & Yoon from Before because it made her feel awkward and stupid all over again.

Now her alarm was going off. Today she would do the same thing she'd been forced to do the last month.

All Yuri did lately was cry.

. . . . . . .

"Unnie, I miss you. Get better for me and all the other members okay? Fighting!" Seohyun.

"Noona, partying isn't the same without you. Fighting!" Key.

"I'm sorry. This is for your own good. I love you." Yoona.

She barely heard all the other voicemails that were on her phone today, but Yoona's was loud and clear.

Yuri's index finger was hovering near 'Delete' as soon as she saw the girl's name.

This was all Yoona's fault. Yuri couldn't think any logic that day when her manager came into their dorm with a stack of papers.

"Until you get this problem fixed, you will be put on hiatus from Girls' Generation. This is unacceptable behavior from you, Yuri. I'll be sending you too a therapist that's very well-trained, her name is Mrs. Lee. . .when she decides you've recovered she'll sign these papers and you won't be on hiatus anymore."

Just thinking about that day made her sick. And after Jessica informed her Yoona was the one who told manager. . .she had been so angry. So, so angry.

Yuri could still hear the screams and the feeling of her fist being coated in Yoona's blood.

No, that was not a good day for her.

"Ms. Kwon, the sooner you open up to me the sooner you'll be back on stage. Please. . .tell me why you took those laxatives. Tell me about your life, your childhood. I want to help you."

Mrs. Lee was here now.

The older woman fascinated Yuri.

Every time they met in her office, Mrs. Lee had on a sundress and her hair never moved. It was in a perfect pixie cut.

Just. . .Mrs. Lee seemed so perfect.

Even when Yuri got mad at her, she'd always have a big smile on her face.

"How old are you, noona?" Yuri had always been the type of girl to say her thoughts out loud.

"Oh. . .um, I just turned thirty-three." There was a light blush on Mrs. Lee's cheeks.

"How are you so perfect?"

"When I was sixteen," Mrs. Lee started. She kept her smile, "when I was sixteen, I used to model. But one day someone said I was putting on weight. . .they thought it was a joke. I didn't take it as one."

There was complete silence before--

"It all started when I was looking at a photoshoot the group did for this magazine. . ."

Yuri's walls had been broken. Destroyed. Crumbled. The words -- and tears -- were flowing freely now. No one could stop her. Not anymore.