The news about EXO-M brothers coming home swept over the van like a tornado.
There were loud cheers and screams of joy and Kai could swear that Sehun teared up a little, yet his eyes didn’t glister only with tears but also with joy that was somehow bigger than anyone’s in the van.

Everything went still after good 20 minutes and the only thing that broke the silence was the buzzing of the radio and Chanyeol tapping his fingers along with the beat.

There was a quite chuckle next to Kai and he turned away from the happy-virus hyung toward Baekhyun, who was sitting next to him as a result of managers’ attempts to get some kind of peace in the car.

“What?” Kai asked, looking at the hyung on his right, though other was looking out of the window, or rather looking at someone trough the reflection.

“Hm?” Baekhyun turned toward Kai.

“You laughed.” Kai said. “I was wondering what made you laugh.”

“Ouh, nothing much.” Baekhyun said with a smile and glanced at Chanyeol, who was bobbing his head along some hip-hop song on the radio and still tapping his fingers along with the beat, and then returned back to his previous position.

Kai looked at Chanyeol for a moment and couldn’t quite understand why Baekhyun had such sparks in his eyes when looked at the tall rapper.

The song changed and Suho asked to turn the volume up and for the time of the song the van turned in to a chaos of fan chants and singing along, apart from Baekhyun who still looked out of the window (as it seemed) and Kai, who tried to formulate a question, he wanted to find out already for a while.

“Hyung.” He turned back to Baekhyun “What is love?”

“What?” Baekhyun turned to him and asked, as he probably didn’t hear the question because of the music.

“I asked… What is love, hyung?” Kai repeated and felt how red creeps in his cheeks.

“Love…” Baekhyun rested his head against the chair and thought for a moment until Chanyeol’s low and loud laughter beat the sound of the music. “Love is when you accept someone the way he is – no matter how weird or rather just different he is. It’s when you find someone who is somehow a bit like you and you’re ready to do anything together with this someone. That’s what love is.” Baekhyun smiled and as if on a magic touch, Chanyeol started to randomly beat-box at the back seat and Baekhyun joined in with made up lyrics about dog walking down the street, then turning in to aunties with flowers and uncles on bikes. Their loud duo won over the radio and manager turned it off with a deep sigh, as not even change of seats stopped the 92-line from turning the van in to chaos.

Kai looked at them for a moment and then rested his head and closed his eyes - so love was when you found someone like yourself and accepted him for who ever he was, when you’re ready to do anything with that someone.

He sighed deeply as this answer didn’t help much, it just made him think more about what he felt and this thinking made his heart and mind to hurt, as he didn’t know or rather didn’t understand what he felt, what he should feel and what he would feel tomorrow.

The loud cheers when their brothers entered the dorm weren’t comparable to anything. It was something between a pack of elephants tooting and a waterfall hitting the ground.

Endless amounts of hugs and standard questions of ‘how have you been’ etc. was a must, as much as Sehun and Luhan disappearing at one moment, when everyone else had already calmed down and set in the living room for some long talks, as always.

“I’m going to go and dance a bit.” Lay stood up and grabbed his bag as he headed to the door.

“You can practice later. You just came back.” Suho said with a smile.

“I rather do that while the tiredness hasn’t hit me.” Lay smiled and waved, turning toward the exit.

“Wait. I’ll go with you!” Kai suddenly jumped up and rushed to his room to get his practice bag and returned to the living room in a speed of light.

“Fine.” The Chinese guy said and led the way to the practice room.



The routines than were important to practice soon ran out and tiredness finally hit Lay, so they ended up sitting on the floor, resting their back against the wall.

“Hyung…” Kai spoke and looked at Lay who immediately looked back at him. Kai swallowed loudly. “What is love?”

Lay’s eyes went big; he blinked a few times and then said something in Chinese that Kai didn’t understand but he thought the heard word ‘WuFan’ there, though he assumed that probably meant something else.

“Well…” he said with a deep sigh. “Love is like dancing.” He said and this time took a deep breath. “It’s a passion you can’t get rid of once you understand how essential it is to you. It gives you this inner tingle that you can’t get rid of until you’ve done everything you can. It makes you move, in a different kind of way. It can hurt you in ways that will remind it to you for the rest of your life.” Lay sighed a little. “And, well, it does things to your body I suppose.”

“Hyung!” the last part kind of shocked Kai, yet he couldn’t deny how true it was.

“I’m just saying how it is.” The older male said and stood up. “We should go back to dorm. Everyone else will probably be asleep already. The schedule for tomorrow is something.” He said and reached out his hand so that Kai could stand up.

“Yeah.” Kai sighed. “Thank you for the answer, hyung.” He said with a small smile.

“No problem. Only you should ask that to someone who feels like that right now rather than someone who has ended empty handed.” He sighed and gathered his stuff. Kai did the same without asking a thing.

The dorm, as Lay predicted, was already dark and the only light was coming from the TV that was still quietly humming in the living room, throwing its dim light at the figure sitting on the couch in front of it.

Lay quickly took his shoes of and disappeared in one of the rooms without saying a word, which seemed a bit strange.

Never the less, Kai quietly removed his shoes and went to check out who was still watching the TV, though it was already late. He was quiet surprised finding the tall leader of EXO-M sitting in front of the TV, with half lidded eyes trying not to fall asleep.

“Hyung…” Kai said and Kris looked at him automatically, hushing him down. Only then Kai noticed Tao, who was sound asleep on Kris’ shoulder, his arms wrapped around others torso like he was some sort of plush bear, that Tao had to hold while he was sleeping.

“Hyung…” Kai repeated this time whispering. “You should go to bed.”

“I don’t want to wake him up.” Kris whispered back, his voice even sleepier than his looks. “I guess I’ll just sleep here.” He said with a small smile, glancing at the sleeping panda.

“You’re back will hurt.” Kai said though he knew that that wouldn’t change Kris’ mind.

“I know. Not a big deal.” He said and tried to find the remote control with his eyes.

Kai noticed it first and handed it to leader.

“Can I ask you something?” he said.

“Sure.” Kris said not running the TV off yet.

“What is love?” Kai asked and was ready to be waved of by the tall male, but received an answer instead.

“Love is when you are ready to do everything to protect other. He can be… no, he definitely is stronger than you will ever be, probably also braver, but you’re still ready to do anything for him as if he’s made of the most fragile china and one move could brake him.” He said, looking only at sleeping Tao in his arms. “You’re willing to give your everything for him and you know that he’s ready to do the same.” He said, his eyes glistering the same way Baekhyun’s were when he looked at Chanyeol in the van earlier that day.

“Thank you.” Kai whispered. “Good night.”

“You’re welcome and you too.” Kris smiled and turned the TV off. Even in dark Kai could see how he wraps his long arms around Tao, pulling the slightly smaller male closer.

Kai sighed as now his mind was even in a bigger mess than it was before asking everyone this question.

He slowly walked trough the dark hallway until he noticed light in Sehun’s room and voices coming from it. He opened the door just a bit and peaked in.

Sehun was lying on his stomach on his bed, resting his head on his forearms while Luhan was resting on Sehun’s , drawing as it seemed Chinese symbols on others skin with his fingertips and then saying them out loud. Sehun repeated each symbol and Kai could swear he didn’t hear others usual lisp.

As in betraying him, the door squeaked and both boys looked at Kai, who had already awkwardly stumbled in to the room.

“I am so sorry.” Kai bowed and tried to go out of the room backwards.

“It’s ok.” Luhan said with a smile and wrapped the blanket that was covering only his lower half also around his torso. “Did you want something?” he sat up and so did Sehun.

“I just saw light and heard voices so…” Kai started to speak and then when silent. The way how Sehun felt toward Luhan and Luhan toward Sehun was no secret, so according to Lay’s advice, he decided to ask them. “I just wanted to ask… What is love?”

Luhan already opened his mouth to say something, but Sehun spoke first. “Love is when you’re willing to wait no matter for how long just to be with someone. When no distance can stand between you and the one you care about. When you’re treasuring every little moment you’re spending with that someone and you’re using every spare second to think about him. That’s what love is.” Sehun said and this time Kai could swear for sure that there was no lisp.

“I couldn’t have said better.” Luhan smiled and looked at Sehun, who looked back at him. Both of their eyes had the same sparkle, the same emotion in them as Kris and Baekhyun.

“Thanks.” He said quietly but it seemed that other two were already lost in their own world and didn’t hear Kai and didn’t even notice how he left the room.



This made less and less sense to Kai.

Each of them said something completely different – for one love was understanding, for other it was like dancing, for third it was this need to protect, for fourth – waiting. Nothing connected all of those in Kai’s mind and he started to regret the idea of asking his hyungs this question.

He stopped in front of the door of his shared room and saw light still being on. His hand froze one the handle and because of all this mess in his mind he was less ready to open that door than ever before. Sure, Suho and Lay were staying there tonight as well, but that didn’t change the fact that he was there as always.

Kai sighed and turned around, heading to the kitchen where the light surprisingly were on and quite whispers came from there.

“Ouh! Hi, JongIn!” Chen smiled and sipped from the cup he was holding. Xiumin raised his head from his mug and smiled at Kai. “Why you’re not sleeping?”

“I’m not sleepy.” Kai said and opened the fridge.

“Not sleepy? After a dance practice with Yixing? You’re my hero then.” Chen laughed a little and so did Xiumin.

After quickly inspecting the content of the fridge and discovering that there’s nothing that he would like, Kai turned to his hyungs. “Why aren’t you sleeping?” he asked and decided to get a glass of water.

“Well, someone wanted a midnight snack.” Chen smiled and sipped from his cup.

“That is not true!” the other male protested “You suggested to have a cup of tea and I agreed!” Xiumin pouted.

“Fine, fine.” Chen continued to smile his teasing smile and turned to Kai who was watching his hyungs. “Anyway, you should go to sleep. We will go too.”

“I doubt I will be able to sleep. Too many thoughts on my mind.” Kai looked at the glass he was holding.

“About what?” Xiumin asked and placed his empty mug in to the sink.

“Hyungs… What is love?” Kai looked first at Xiumin and then at Chen.

Chen laughed slightly and then started to sing quietly “ai wu suo bu zai, hui rang wo wang ji shang hai fen dan bei ai xue xi guan huai
chao guo ku guo hai neng yong bao
qing ni gao su wo ru guo zhe yang jiu shi ai” *

“Shut the hell up, Chen!” a voice that sounded a lot like Kris’ came from the living room and Chen just chuckled.

“I didn’t understand that.” Kai admitted.

“Google it.” Chen laughed and got a punch one the shoulder from Xiumin. “Fine. It means ‘Love is everywhere, it makes me forget pain, share sadness, learn to care. Still able to embrace after fighting and crying. Please tell me if this is love.” He said and put his cup in to the sink. “Though those are lyrics, they are still true. Goodnight!” he said and walked away.

“I can only agree.” Xiumin smiled and patted Kai’s shoulder. “Goodnight.” He said and also left, leaving Kai alone with his messy thoughts again.

The morning came too quickly and all Kai wanted to do when Suho shook his shoulder was to wave the leader of and sleep just a bit longer as his brain had finally went silent.

“No time, JongIn~ah. KyungSoo is already cooking breakfast. We need to get ready and go.” And with that Kai’s brain started to work again, going trough all those versions of what is love he heard yesterday and mixing them up with his uncertain feelings.

“Hyung…” He said keeping his back to the leader. “What is love?”

The bed next to Kai bended as Suho sat down. “Love is when you wish all the best to that special someone even if you know that you won’t be the one who gives him that.” There was a slight hint of sadness is Suho’s voice, so Kai sat up. “But that doesn’t mean that that is what love is to you.” Suho smiled. “It’s individual for each human being.” He stood up and headed to the door.

“But how will I know what love is to me?” Kai asked before the leader left the room.

“There will be this special someone who will make you feel… feel something new in a way you won’t be able to explain it. When you will feel that something, you will understand what love is to you.” The leader said and left, yet again leaving Kai in total obscurity.

The day was long and excruciating with performance pre-recordings, interviews and screaming fans when ever they appeared somewhere. They returned to the dorm drained and were quite quiet during their meal and it was something new.

“I’ll do the dishes.” D.O said and stood up gathering everyone’s plates and headed to the kitchen.

For unknown reason Kai felt how everyone’s eyes turned to him.
He looked at Suho, who gave him a little nod and as if he understood what all that meant, Kai stood up and headed to the kitchen.

“I will help you hyung.” He said as soon as he stepped over the doorstep and stood next to D.O, who had already started washing the dishes, his sleeves rolled up and hands wet.

“Ok.” He said and handed a towel to Kai, automatically implying him to dry the dishes and put them in their rightful places.

“Hyung. Can I ask you something?” Kai said and his voice almost shook.

“Sure.” D.O said, glancing at Kai with his big beautiful eyes for a moment.

“What is love?”

D.O froze. His face changed and Kai quite couldn’t read the emotion.

“Why… Why are you asking that to me?” D.O. stammered a little and continued to wash the dishes.

“Well. I already asked to everyone but I ended up even more confused than I was before, because everyone said something else. JongDae hyung even used lyrics from our song. Only Suho hyungs answer made sense in the end.”

“What did he say then?” D.O asked his voice a bit shaky.

“That it’s individual for everyone. And one can now that when he meets someone who shows that to him.” Kai answered and put the towel down. “And I think… No, I’m sure that I have met this someone.” He looked at D.O, who kept his gaze locked with the foamy water. “That is why… love is… when you accept other the way he is, when you have this strange tingling feeling because of him, when you want to protect him from everything as if he could break, when you treasure every moment you spend with him…” Kai said, his voice growing louder. “It makes me forget pain, share sadness, learn to care…” Kai hummed the melody slightly, as the translation didn’t fit it completely.

“Then who… who is that someone?” D.O asked. His head lowered.

Kai reached his hands in to the water to wrap his fingers around D.O’s. He pulled others hands out of the water and held them tightly, looking straight in D.O’s now extremely big eyes.

“Hyung. I love you. I know that I’m younger, that I don’t know much and that I might not be the one you want, that you could push me away now, but I know, that I am ready to do anything for you and protect you from what ever might occur.” Kai was shocked at how confidently his voice sounded. He knew he was saying silly and sappy things that were true though, but never the less he somehow felt confident.

“It’s you…” D.O whispered.

“What?”

“You asked to me what love is… and for me… you’re what love is for me. Not an emotion or action, or feeling but someone that I cherish… So… It’s you.” D.O finally raised his head and looked at now completely stunned Kai.

Shock fated away with each droplet of water that dripped down from D.O’s wet hands on the kitchen floor and soon Kai smiled probably the brightest smile he ever had and wrapped his arms tightly around D.O, pulling him in a breathtaking hug, yet D.O pushed him away not long after.

Before Kai could speak, D.O cupped his cheeks with his still wet hands and brought their lips together in a slow, tender kiss that blew Kai’s mind.

His arms found their way around D.O’s waist pulling the shorter male closer, while others wet fingers tangled in Kai’s black locks.

“Well, finally.” A voice spoke behind them and they broke apart. Chen just laughed and got smacked on the head by Kris.

“Finally?” Kai asked, trying to sound as normal as possible though his heart was racing.

“The way you were looking at KyungSoo was pretty obvious, you know.” Chanyeol said in his deep voice and chuckled a little.

“You had sparkles in you’re eyes.” Baekhyun continued and then it hit Kai. He finally understood what was that shine he saw in everyone’s eyes when they were looking at their special someone’s – it was love.

He just smiled a wide smile and before D.O managed to say a thing, pressed his lips against his again, ignoring how Kris and SuHo shooed everyone, letting him and D.O to stay alone.

Kai knew what love was – for him love was D.O.

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Came out longer than I thought...
Oups?
anyway - some KaiSoo for ya all