Excerpt: The way she was picking at her nail polish was seriously getting on my nerves, it was so god damn loud and she was just so oblivious. Has she not heard of a migraine before? I may throw her out a window shortly.

I wonder what SM’s policy is on throwing stylists out of windows is.

‘What colour is that?’ I ask her, she looks like a deer caught in the headlights – as she well should. This was a god damn test.

‘Royal orchid,’ She tittered nervously, gnawing her bottom lip. The look of fear in her eyes irritated me immensely, so I pinched her and shooed her away.

Royal orchid, that’s a laugh. Orchids were either purple, or white. And her nails were god damn pink.