Two months.

It didn’t seem like a long time but, to Sunwoo, it felt like years.

He couldn’t believe that just two months ago, she was by his side. When he closed his eyes, he could clearly imagine her smile and loving gaze. She would grab his hand and tug him away for their next date. It was his first real relationship and he thought it had been perfect. No expectations. Little romance. A lot of fun.

Sunwoo found out that she didn’t think the same way.

“Have you ever thought about what we’re going to be doing in five years?”

“No. It doesn’t really matter, does it?”

“I guess not…”

If he had known what was going through her mind, he would have said differently. He would have told her that he didn’t think about it because he always assumed that they would be together. He didn’t imagine an end to this relationship.

“I think we should see other people.”

The following conversation went so fast and got out of control so quickly. He couldn’t remember what exactly he said but her pained expression would stay with him forever. The tears that followed and her own harsh words hit him so hard. He knew he should have asked her to stay. He should have told her that he wanted to stay with her forever. But he kept it all to himself. Instead he told her that he was better off without her.

Sunwoo told her to go.

So she did.

He tried his best to act like the whole break up didn’t bother him. His friends gave him space and didn’t question it. Everyone knew that Sunwoo dealt with his problems differently. They did become concerned when he started to ignore her phone calls. He would see her name and just silence his cell phone. Sunwoo began avoiding any place where there was a chance of seeing her. He wanted absolutely no contact.

Everyday he did his best to forget about her.

Everyday he pushed her out his heart.

Sunwoo began to regret ever loving her. He shouldn’t have looked at her. He shouldn’t have paid her any attention. He wanted to go back to when he hadn’t met her. Maybe then, he wouldn’t be in so much pain.

At night, he would think of what he did to deserve this. He thought he was a decent son and friend. He always apologized for anything wrong he did. Sure, he loved playing around and joking with his friends but was that so bad? Was Heaven punishing him for the love he felt for her? Was he never supposed to be with her?

When he was alone, his bright smile would become sad. As much as he tried not to think of her, she would always appear in his mind. He remembered the small, petty arguments that they would have. Even those, he missed a lot. He never told her, but she looked so pretty when she was all riled up. Her face would be flushed and her brows furrowed. Her cheeks would puff up in a small pout. He couldn’t help but just to see that face.

Sunwoo loved her when she was happy the most though. Her eyes would shine as if whatever he had done or said was the best thing ever. The warmth he felt from her simple hugs. She looked absolutely beautiful when she smiled. He should have never taken those times for granted. Even now, he missed her and all her flaws. Every little thing that used to annoy him, he found himself longing for.

Sunwoo berated himself as he wiped away few tears.

He told himself that he wasn’t going to cry. He was stronger than this. He didn’t need anyone in his life to make him happy.

But why was it that he found himself crying at night when he remembered her?

Why couldn’t her imagine just leave him?

Sunwoo scoffed and turned to his side, closing his eyes. Tomorrow when he woke, he would definitely forget her.