The following day was remarkably chilly for only the beginning of fall. I walked around aimlessly, full of unpent energy. I was angry and pissed and yet pleased about yesterdays’ argument. Insults don’t really matter when you feel like you’ve accomplished something. Actually no, they do, but in light of recent events they were not as stingy as they would have been otherwise.

I rushed into art class; ready to take further steps forward, but somebody else got my attention first.

“Hey, Jonghyun.” Shin Sekyung stared up at me sweetly.

“We haven’t talked in a while, even though we’re at the same table. We seem to always get distracted by other people, huh?”

I nodded. It was true. After the summer, our conversations had ceased and we had drifted apart, step by step.

Sekyung glanced at the table behind me, where Kim Kibum was sketching away.

“Have you cracked the class loner yet? Even he can’t be immune to your charms.”

I laughed and absently scratched the back of my neck.

“Eh… it hasn’t been going as well as I hoped it would.”

She laughed. One of her friends arrived in the classroom as well, and I engaged in the table conversation again. Talking about aimless matters was like a recharge. I could afford to not pay much attention and just flow.

It’s a pleasant feeling, talking about nothing.

It turned out I wasn’t the only one whose life was filled to the brim with school and studying.  We discussed dramas and movies we had to miss because of no free time. Schoolwork had become first priority for all.

“Hey, hey,” Sekyung’s friend whispered as the teacher was on the opposite side of the room.

“I’m not the only one who finds this my hardest class right? Our teacher is so critical! I thought I was okay artist up until I got my first drawing back. Then b-bam! Ego destroyed.”

“Same here,” I replied. “But in my case, I think it’s just a matter of not having enough talent. Some people are born drawers, others are better at subjects you can study for.”

“Right? I think drawing is an area I’m just destined to never improve in. But you know who’s a flawless artist?” Her friend’s eyes stared pointedly at the back of Kim Kibum’s head, without any hint of shame. What a direct person.

“His artwork is jaw dropping. In the time span where I can doodle up an apple, he’s completed a basket with finishing touches already present. I’m jealous.”

Who wouldn’t be? His drawings were worthy of being displayed—

Besides that tree drawing. Which was beautiful in its own right, but still pointedly different from his others pieces. Instead of calculated indifference, it held a tone of intimidation and anger. Like… how dare you. It was such a difference from the way he talked to me. I wasn’t even sure which side to believe.

“Jonghyun? Hello?”

Shin Sekyung’s gaze was looking up at me like an innocent deer. It was such a familiar look.

“Ah—sorry, I dozed off slightly. What were we saying?”

She simple smiled a teasing smile that was also somewhat sad.

“Whenever we talk about Kibum-sshi, you get so distant, Jonghyun.”

“Eh? Really? I think it must be a coincidence.”

I heard the slightest dark chuckle coming from behind me. It was so slight I wasn’t even sure if had been real or imaginary.

“After all, I’ve just been tired recently.”

She looked at me in an inspection-like manner, but pursued the matter no further.

There was a pain in the back of my head.

“Sekyu—”

Her smile greeted me for the second time today, but this one was heavier.

“Don’t bring it up. We’ve already buried it.”

I looked away.

“How were you even sure that’s what I was going to bring up?”

She looked down again, played with her pencil, then pointedly halted.

“Because I know you. Don’t worry. It’s for the best.”

She looked at me once more, and I was reminded of the face she would have whenever we finished off a movie or drama. It was happy, content, but with a touch of melancholy. She missed the past. As did I.

There were ten minutes left in class.

I stared at my drawing. I was nowhere near completion; only my outline had been complete. The rest was left unfilled. Unsaid.

I crosshatched mindlessly. Time passed slower than I thought possible, probably because I had so many thoughts flitting through my head in quick succession.

Soon, my faceless person was done. She or he— it was an androgynous figure— was seated in a park bench all alone, with messy grey lines everywhere. At least all the empty spaces were filled in.

If only the gaps between the people I knew could also be filled so easily.

I snuck a glance behind, which had become a habit. Kibum did not move an inch.

I thought I should say something, anything really, but no words came to mind.

For all my so called social skills, I was getting nowhere fast.

A/N: oh look it’s an actual update
sorry if there’s an unintentional shift in the middle. I wrote the first half a long time ago and just finished it off today.
the mood is probably very sad because that’s how I feel now haha