The rain outside poured heavily, with clouds matching my drawing from earlier. It hadn’t been predicted on the forecast this morning, so I looked like a fool with no umbrella. I quickened my pace as the rain rushed down even faster. Everything became a blur, and my only goal in sight was to get home.

Upon arriving at home I shoved the key in. The door opened with a clang. Thump, my backpack dropped to the floor. I sighed, collapsing onto the carpet as well. My arms flopped to my sides and I stared up at the blank ceiling.

Nobody was home to greet me. My parents were out working late hours per usual, and my sister had already floundered off to a faraway university.

I was quickly creating a human-shaped wet stain on the floor, but that didn’t really matter.

Is this what loneliness felt like?

Smothered by the silence around you, unable to get up to reach for a hand of help, because there were no people around you?

I got up and shook my head. I just didn’t understand. If you were left on the ground helpless, couldn’t you just get up by yourself? There wasn’t even silence around me; I could clearly hear the footsteps of rain outside. I could not comprehend this concept of loneliness.

With a tap I the lamp and radio, and pulled out my study materials from my bag. Should I make dinner? No, that wasn’t necessary; I wasn’t the slightest bit hungry.

I began my math homework, scrawling in answers to each question. I wondered how other students even found the time to hang out nowadays. All I ever did in my free time was study. There was hardly even time to think anymore. Perhaps I was just bad at time management.

Or maybe I just didn’t want to spend time with these people outside of school.

The pencil in my hand stopped its mad movements.

Did I have close friends?

I could think of many classmates I talked to frequently, since I enjoyed conversing with others. Inside of school there was no moment where I wasn’t around others— people enjoyed my sense of humor, and I enjoyed their company in turn. There was nothing missing inside my school interactions.

But all of the action stopped there.

I had lots of numbers of others, but I hardly sent messages besides inquiries about homework. When was the last time I grabbed a bite to eat with someone else? When had I last watched a movie? I only remembered eating snacks during the summer with my childhood friend Shin Se-kyung. Those times were so laid-back. Why did they seem so distant?

Even without much outside school activity, I wasn’t regretful at all. Being with these people inside school was enough. I was friendly with many. At home was for studying, in school was for friends. It wasn’t an oddity. I knew others who acted this way as well.

Being with these people, if only for lingering moments inside a classroom, filled me with happiness.

So how could Kim Kibum live without it at all?

Ever since this afternoon I could focus on was him. Every thought in my head lead to curiosity about his mysterious ways.  He was an enigma, somebody I was desperate to figure out.

Everybody I met up until now melted easily in my heads. I was charming; I knew that. People liked me, plain and simple.

He wasn’t so easy of a person. Was I confident enough of my people skills to try and become his friend? I was just a high school first year. There wasn’t anything remarkable about me, except this determination. I could clearly imagine his face in my mind— cold, callous, afraid of contact. Unwilling to face me, unwilling to let his true self be seen.

I was honestly not sure if I could change him. He and I were so different.

With another sigh, I brushed away my thoughts of Kim Kibum. If I had time to wonder about him, that time should be spent on studying.

A/N: this chapter doesn’t really have much of a purpose. it's more of a... starting segment. this and the previous chapter are the beginning; the rest of the fic is actually telling their story.