A/N: Before reading, just to clear things up: this chapter begins where the first chapter began. It's just how Kyungsoo experienced that day... but does continue to the day after that, okay? Hope you'll like it ^^

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Kyungsoo woke up because of the sunlight peeking through his curtains. It was another day without him. He rolled onto his side and lifted his knees up to his chest. He had the day off today and to be honest he’d rather just spend it lying in bed.

Thinking about last night, Kyungsoo kicked his arms and legs in frustration. It hadn’t exactly gone the way it was supposed to go. Things never seemed to go the way they were supposed to go for him. Sehun had asked him to go out clubbing with him. His friend had said it was time for him to come out of the house and meet new people. Kyungsoo agreed since he hadn’t even gone on a single date since he left Jongin.  He was tired of seeing Jongin’s face wherever he went. It was time to meet someone new. Someone new.

Not run into someone he knew.

Kyungsoo knew he should have left the club the moment he saw Taemin. If Taemin was there, it meant Jongin would be there too, yet he stayed. And he saw him. The club was crowded and Jongin had been far away, but Kyungsoo clearly saw him.

Kyungsoo got up from the bed, thinking that just lying there wouldn’t really help him set his mind on other things.

You should go check if he’s alright

Kyungsoo reached for his head. It was there again. Kyungsoo wanted to scream. Scream and beg to leave him alone. He pressed his fingers harder against his temples. “He’s probably fine” Kyungsoo said out loud and headed for the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

No he’s not, you saw how he was yesterday

Kyungsoo crouched down on the floor, holding his head with both hands. It hurt everytime he heard it. The piercing voice in his head. “Stop it” Kyungsoo begged.

“Stop it, go away.” He repeated in a sobbing voice.

Memories from last night flooded into Kyungsoo’s mind. And how he remembered seeing Jongin not being able to walk in a straight line. He remembered seeing him having troubles dancing to the beat even though Jongin was one of the best dancers Kyungsoo knew. It’s not that Kyungsoo didn’t consider walking over to help, there were just too many reasons not to. It’s not like Jongin still loved him, or even cared about him for that matter. No, Jongin probably didn’t need his help. He made that pretty clear by having with someone else 2 years ago.

Is what Kyungsoo had wanted to believe desperately.

But for the past two years there was this part of him that hoped there was an explanation for Jongin’s actions. Somehow. It had been tiring fighting against that part that plagued him with guilt.

Remember what Taemin said

“I said stop!” Kyungsoo screamed. He didn’t want to remember what Taemin said to him last night, because he couldn’t afford getting even more confused than he already was.

He just couldn’t.

After seeing Jongin stumble out of the club, Taemin told him Jongin had been that way ever since he left. That Jongin had been a mess without him.

“It’s not true” Kyungsoo said to himself. “It can’t be true”

~*~

I’m just here to check if he came home safely, Kyungsoo thought before knocking the door he was standing in front of.

No answer.

After knocking again, Kyungsoo was getting a bit anxious. Different scenarios why Jongin didn’t open the door were running through his head. He had been pretty drunk...

What if?

Kyungsoo quickly reached into his pocket and took out the key he always kept with him, even after two years. His hand was trembling when he opened the door. It’s been so long since he set foot inside this apartment. There were so many memories. Memories of him and Jongin.

Being happy.

Jongin’s apartment was small but it was big enough for two people to live in. The kitchen in particular was really narrow. Kyungsoo unconsciously smiled a bit at the memory of Jongin ever so often getting in his way while he was trying to prepare dinner. He smiled remembering the butterflies that would flutter in his stomach every time Jongin would ever so slightly touch him.

But that was all in the past now.

Kyungsoo had to immediately cover his nose the moment he entered the apartment. The stench of alcohol invaded his nostrils. There were beer bottles scattered everywhere, Kyungsoo had to watch his steps in order to not trip over them.

He would have been called crazy. But maybe crazy he was when he started to pick up the bottles and put them were they belonged. He never was able to stand things that were littering around. He even almost forgot the reason why he came here in the first place. Almost.

“Who are you?”

Kyungsoo got startled by the voice and whirled around to look at the owner of it. She was beautiful. Black long hair tied loosely together, wearing nothing but a shirt. A shirt that seemed way too familiar.

It was Jongin’s.

The air around him suddenly seemed dense and it was getting hard to breath. Kyungsoo knew Jongin didn’t like it when other people wore his clothes. He even refused to lend one of his sisters his scarf on a certain cold winter night. So what was she doing in Jongin’s shirt?

“I erm… “

Kyungsoo felt uneasy and didn’t quite know what to say. Who was he? What was he doing here? There didn’t seem to be an answer to any of these. His mind was too occupied with the stupid shirt she was wearing. He didn’t even expect to find someone else in Jongin’s apartment. What was he supposed to say?

“I’m…erm Jongin’s friend,”

“Oh... well Jongin’s not here right now so…” The girl said, scratching the back of her head. It was then that Kyungsoo noticed the bruises on her neck and collarbones. Kyungsoo for a moment thought his lungs had failed him. Cause there didn’t seem to be any air around for him to breathe. He thought he was going to throw up as images from that night two years ago flooded into his mind. He needed to get out of there.

It was obvious Jongin had been more than alright and that what Taemin had said was a lie after all. He was wrong for coming here. He was wrong for believing that ridiculous voice inside his head.

“I’ll be leaving then… sorry for bothering…” Kyungsoo managed to say, just barely.

“Are you okay? You’re crying…”

“Hm? Yeah I’m fine…” Kyungsoo wiped away the wetness on his cheek.

He really needed to get out of there.

~*~

“I went to his apartment today” Kyungsoo said, a bitter smile playing across his lips.

“What? Why? I thought you were finally getting over him.”

Sehun couldn’t have been more wrong with that statement. Kyungsoo was nowhere near getting over Jongin. According to Kyungsoo, getting over someone meant actually being able to eat again. Getting over someone meant no more crying yourself to sleep. No more memories of the past that kept haunting you in your dreams, no more voices that kept taunting you. No. Even though he had been hurt badly, Kyungsoo wasn’t even near getting over Jongin. He was still madly in love with him. And it managed to torture him in every possible way.

“I don’t know what to do Sehun-ah… I think I’m going crazy” Kyungsoo’s voice was barely audible.

“Did you see him?”

“No, his girlfriend was there, so I just left.” Silent tears started rolling down his cheek. He had wanted to control himself in front of Sehun but he just couldn’t. His heart was filled with too many emotions. And he was thankful when he felt his friend’s arms sneak around him and pull him in a warm embrace.

“Kyungsoo, why do you keep doing this to yourself?” Sehun said as held Kyungsoo’s small frame close to his body.

“I just miss him so much Sehun-ah…”

Sehun ended up spending the night at Kyungsoo’s place. Kyungsoo had asked him to stay because he didn’t want to be alone. Every night spent alone was scary. Because even though he was alone, the darkness was painfully loud. The thoughts and voices running through his head, shouting at him had been deafening. But with Sehun there to talk to, Kyungsoo felt at ease and was able to ignore most of them.

He dreamt about Jongin that night. Just like every other night. Only this time he didn’t wake up screaming. His usual dreams involving Jongin weren’t really happy ones. His usual dreams involved Jongin telling him he should’ve cheated on him a lot sooner since their relationship was getting boring. Jongin telling him he never did really love Kyungsoo in the first place. But this time was different. He dreamt about the first time he and Jongin spent the night together.

It was 6 years ago. They were still in high school and had been dating for about 4 months at that time. Jongin’s parents weren’t home and he shyly had asked Kyungsoo if he wanted to come over. Everything that happened that night had been awkward, yet sweet and tender. The way Jongin had treated him with such care and told him he loved him over and over again. The way they promised each other they’d be together forever. It became one of Kyungsoo’s most treasured memories.

He didn’t know the promise they made could be broken so easily.

~*~

Kyungsoo wasn't sure how he got here. All he knew was that after Sehun left his place, he headed out himself and walked for what seemed like hours. And it probably had been so since the sun had set completely by the time he arrived here. The same place he was yesterday.

He didn’t knock the door this time. Instead he settled himself at the stairs just a bit further down the hallway. And he just sat there. Waiting. Not really knowing why. Maybe he was waiting for Jongin to come home or leave the apartment. So he could at least just see him.

“I keep seeing you”

Kyungsoo’s heart skipped a beat when he heard the all too familiar voice behind him. It had been so long. He came here to see him but hearing him made him feel as if his heart was going to burst. There were so many things he wanted to say and ask. But his mind was clouded and his throat dry.

“At least you talked to me the other times, I guess not this time”

What other times? Kyungsoo turned to finally look the person he longed to see. He had changed. Not just his physical appearance but there was something about the look in his eyes that was different. Kyungsoo just stared into his eyes, until Jongin broke the eye contact and stepped passed him. Jongin was walking to his apartment door, putting the key into the lock when he finally reached it.

“Well? Aren’t you getting in?” Jongin looked at Kyungsoo.

Unable to comprehend the situation, Kyungsoo just stood up and walked through the hallway, over to where Jongin’s apartment door was. Without saying anything he entered it.

“What made you come here? Wait no, don’t say it. You came here to return my key, just like you did yesterday and the day before that and all those other times. Why don’t you actually return it and stop coming back.”

Jongin voice was cold and caused a stabbing pain in Kyungsoo’s chest. The worst thing was that he didn’t even bother to look at Kyungsoo. He was rummaging through some things in the kitchen, before taking a cup out of the cupboard and pouring himself some coffee.

Kyungsoo’s breath hitched. “I just came to see you… but it seems you don’t want me here, I’m sorry. I’ll leave. Here’s the key, if you really want it back.”

Kyungsoo opened the door to leave the apartment but it was pushed back closed immediately. Jongin was standing painfully close to him. His breath was warm in Kyungsoo’s neck. And his chest was brushing ever so slightly against Kyungsoo’s back. Kyungsoo had to restrain himself from leaning back into the touch.

“You really just came to see me?”

“Yeah, but it’s obvious you don’t want me here,” Kyungsoo swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’m sorry.”

“Is this real?”

Was it real? It didn’t seem real to Kyungsoo. He never thought he’d be this close to Jongin again. But he was. He could clearly hear the sound of the other’s breathing. He could clearly smell Jongin’s familiar scent.

This was definitely real.

“Yeah” His voice was hoarse, and it barely even came out as a whisper. But it was loud clear enough for Jongin to hear.

“How do I know for sure?”

Why are you asking me these things? Could it be that you were hurting too?

Please tell me you were hurting too.

Kyungsoo slowly turned around so that he was facing Jongin. Jongin’s face was close to his and he brought a hand up to touch it. Kyungsoo let his fingers graze the skin of Jongin’s cheek. It was soft. Just how he remembered it.

“Doesn’t this feel real?”

“I don’t know any more Kyungsoo… You seem so real everytime”

There it was again. Jongin saying things Kyungsoo didn’t understand. Kyungsoo’s hand was still on Jongin’s cheek. And the burning sensation of it seemed to slow down the rest of his senses. Since he didn’t feel Jongin pulling him into a tight embrace. Nor could his senses catch up to Jongin’s irregular heartbeat beating against his own. This was too much. He tried releasing himself. But Jongin’s grip was too strong and his own resolve was too weak. Kyungsoo whimpered when his own body betrayed him and stopped struggling.

“I was so sure you were here yesterday, Kyungsoo.”

Jongin was crying. Kyungsoo felt like crying. He could feel the wetness from Jongin’s tears on his neck, and the younger’s trembling body against his own. He didn’t understand any of this. How was he supposed to leave Jongin again after this? Jongin’s body was warm. And it felt so right to be in his arms again. How was he supposed to let go and not cling on to him?

“I did come here yesterday, but your girlfriend was here, so I just left.”

“She’s… not my girlfriend”

Kyungsoo felt a flush of relief run through him. But it still didn’t make up for things.

“Then why?”

“I don’t know Kyungsoo. I don’t know a lot of things. I don’t know why I keep doing this. I don’t know why I did it two years ago. I don’t know why you just left without letting me explain anything.” Jongin cried.

Kyungsoo could feel tears finally started to roll down his own cheeks. He never did let Jongin explain. He felt guilty about it. But at that time he didn’t see how any explanation could make up for what Jongin did.

“Do you still love me?”

Kyungsoo’s heart jumped in his chest as he waited for the answer anxiously. But he needed to know. He needed to know if Jongin had moved on. But he was scared at the same time. What if the answer was no? Kyungsoo slowly started to regret asking it in the first place. He regretted coming here. He regretted not pushing Jongin away when he had the chance.

He regretted not realizing sooner that Jongin’s lips were covering his.

“You have no idea how much I do” Jongin murmured against Kyungsoo’s lips.

And that was enough. Enough for Kyungsoo to give in and tug Jongin closer.

~*~

Kyungsoo woke up to the feeling of someone’s hand brushing over his stomach. Glancing over to his side, he could see Jongin staring back at him. A playful smile covering his face.

“What are you doing?” Kyungsoo asked lazily, it was way too early to be up.

“I do this every morning.”

“Why?” Kyungsoo asked, confused.

“To see if you’re still here”

Everything that Jongin said last night came back. How he insisted on wanting to know if everything was real. It seemed what Taemin said was right after all. Jongin was a mess. Even more than he was.

“I told you I was real yesterday, didn’t I? Go back to sleep Jongin” Kyungsoo took Jongin’s hand in his and intertwined their fingers, to let him know he was still here.

Kyungsoo couldn’t fully forgive Jongin for what he did, yet. It still hurt. And Kyungsoo still felt insecure, not knowing if Jongin would ever do it again. He thought about his parents and Sehun and how they would probably scold him for being a fool for returning to Jongin’s side. But lying here with him felt right. And he wondered if they really could just get things back to the way they were this easily.

“Kyungsoo?”

“Hm?”

“I really do love you”

Kyungsoo closed his eyes and let himself drift to sleep, enjoying the silence. No screaming, nothing. Just Jongin’s breathing.

Maybe things really could go back to the way they were.

A/N: Wow I finally finished it O.O I thought I'd never be able to XD But yeah here it is...

I ended up giving it a happy end... ^^ Do you guys think that's okay? Or do you think since it was supposed to be an angsty fic I should have made it more tragic or something? I really don't know tbh... Please please give your opinion? 

There still may be a lot of mistakes, since it's like 3 am right now and I'm way too tired to proofread. =,=

Also, I'm really sorry to keep you guys waiting!! I was having a major writer's block omg >.< 

Anyways, please don't be afraid to leave a comment, I really love reading them all! It's what motivates me to continue writing!!!!

I should probably go to sleep now, I want to wake up early so I can watch Nu'est's comeback stage on Mcountdown :D 

Goodnight my lovely readers~ <3