The ending
Ravaged
They were the last people Himchan would’ve wanted to see. Whenever he was around them, he felt as if someone had passed away in his family. In fact, it was him who had passed away, the old Himchan. The old Himchan would’ve had said the truth and gotten over it. He would’ve said he’d never wanted to see them again. But he had changed and now he was stuck in his own lies, making it every time worse.
He didn’t understand why they always wanted to see him. It was like they loved to rub it in his face. He didn’t understand why they tried to help him sometimes. Didn’t they see they were the cause of his misery? Why couldn’t they just leave him alone? He was just fine when he didn’t hear any news from them. Didn’t they get the hints when he refuses to answer most of their phone-calls?
Didn’t they see it was because of them he became unable to love?
“Do you…want anything to drink?”, Himchan asked with a fake smile while Yongguk and Hyosung sat down on his couch.
They never noticed how fake Himchan’s attitude towards them was. He faked everything. Excitement, pity, …, everything was fake. He had always been good at acting, he even had a degree in it. In a way, it was to protect him self from crumbling down. On the other hand, it just got him deeper and deeper in his lies.
“A glass of water please.”, Hyosung said while her hand searched for Yongguk’s and Himchan watched their fingers lace.
“Alright…”, he nodded and disappeared to his kitchen, glad to have this opportunity to put his thoughts back together.
When he came back, the couple was busy whispering things to each other. He set the glass on the small table in front of Hyosung and sat down in the armchair.
“So. What gives me the immense pleasure of your visit?”, Himchan asked, using the sarcasm he had picked up in the last few years. They didn’t notice it, they never did, and only Himchan was able to hear it. He knew the hidden meaning while they were blinded by his acting.
“I’m..”, Hyosung’s face broke into a wide smile. She glanced at Yongguk who had the same stupid smile on his face as her, which just made Himchan wanting to throw up.
“I’m pregnant.”
Himchan did his best to keep his smile on his face. Pregnant.
“W-wow. That’s… amazing.”, he stuttered, pretending he had trouble to find his words because of the amazing surprise. It was a surprise though, only not that amazing in his point of view.
“Yes. It’s one month already.”, Hyosung said, adding all the information Himchan would’ve rather never known. “We hope for it to be a boy.”
“C-congratulations… What…What are you going to call it?”, he asked, pretending to even care.
“Junhong.”, Yongguk replied.
Junhong. It was as if Yongguk had shot an arrow through Himchan’s heart. They were going to name their kid Junhong. That name…
“Himchan? Himchan, are you okay?”
He hadn’t noticed he had been staring at Yongguk with wide eyes. He shook his head before smiling at Hyosung.
“Yes, I’m totally fine.. Just... shocked.”
“Ah.”, Hyosung giggled. “It shocked Yongguk too when I first told him.”
Himchan forced himself to laugh with them at the memory.
“Well, I wish you three all the best.”
“Thank you, Himchan.”
If he hadn’t been stuck in his lies, he would’ve thrown them out his apartment. It was a great relieve when they had finally left. Himchan walked back to his living room and took the almost untouched glass of water.
“Why ask for one if you’re not going to drink it?”, he muttered and turned towards the kitchen. The previous conversation didn’t want to go out of his head. He heard their voices on and on.
“We’re having a baby. It’s going to be called Junhong. Boy, Baby shower,…”
He yelped as he felt a sharp pain in hand, letting go off the already broken glass. Water spilled over the floor and the glass shattered in pieces, just like his heart. He looked at his bleeding palm. He hadn’t noticed he was holding the glass so tightly.
He touched his palm, remembering how Yongguk used to take care of his cuts. He bit his lips, trying to fight back his chain of thoughts, but it was already too late.
All the memories were coming back.
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