After practice the day before, I told my mom that I wanted to visit Santa Cruz. She had looked at the calendar, and nodded solemnly. She told me that Kevin and she could take Nickolai out to the boardwalk or just out on the pier. She hadn’t been to the ocean for so long. So the next morning, we left in Kevin’s van with our suitcases for a short vacation together.

                “Mom, I’m going to go meet up with Min, you and Kevin have fun with Nick!” She nodded at me as I took off running, knowing exactly where he would be. I ran around the few people scattering the sidewalks on the stormy day, towards the lighthouse museum on the cliff. My feet carried me to the fence just beyond the building, and hopped over it, slowing myself.

                “Min.” I breathed as I saw my brother’s figure a few feet in front of me. He looked over his shoulder and smiled gently at me. Lifting his hand, he beckoned me closer to him. I paced over, placing my hand in his, finally feeling safe. He guided us to the edge of the rocks and we just stared out over the horizon.

                “I guess it was rather good timing that you came back around Dad’s birthday.” My older brother’s sharp features softened as he thought about our father. Silently, we sat down, our legs dangling off the edge of the rocks. A little over a year ago, my father had an unexpected seizure during a routine run-through of a construction project he designed. He was up on the fourth floor of a unique building to become an art museum, and they had to take him down all the flights of steps as he was convulsing. His heart stopped during the seizure, and though everyone around him tried to help, he was gone before the ambulance could even arrive. They discovered post-mortem that he was developing epilepsy, which could be, and was, fatal when combined with his high blood pressure. As indicated in his will, he was cremated and the two of us, my brother and I, spread his ashes over this very cliff, letting him be one with the water, as he had been when he was a young surfer. An hour must’ve passed; spent just watching the waves crash against the shore below. “Tell me.”

                “It didn’t turn out like I wanted it to.  None of it did. I just wanted to be a photographer, and when I got the position at sixteen with the company in Denver, I was ecstatic. Just being an assistant to the editor-in-chief and head photographer was just the beginning to my dreams finally coming true. When he offered me the job abroad with Eunji, I was wary, but wanted it so badly. I just wanted to prove myself for once in my life. Prove that I could do everything I wanted to do without teachers looking down on me for my intelligence that came off as arrogance, without kids my age calling me a stuck-up- because I didn’t want to get unfocussed on my life, and without coworkers telling me that my attitude was going to get me fired as soon as imaginable. Mr. Samuelson gave me that chance that I wanted, needed actually.” Taking a deep breath, I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. “Then I met Chanhee. He broke down those walls in a day. I don’t know how, he just did. I gave him everything. I loved him so much. I supported his singing career when I final found out about it, it was easier when I realized that I was his photographer. He supported my photography life. We spent as much time as possible together, he took me to Lotte World, out to watch the sunrise in the country, and so many wonderful things that I won’t ever dare forget. He taught me how to just be me, without the walls and façade.”

                “Don’t you still love him then?” Min Kyung rested his head on mine, being the calm rock through this, as always.

                “I don’t think I can ever stop loving him, but I think it changed into a different type of love. You know? After the original photographers came back to TOP Media after recovering, I was offered jobs at so many companies and turned down all but one. SM Entertainment, the biggest and most notorious of them all. I was offered a job by Mr. Lee Soo Man himself, and it was such a wonderful offer, perfect for me. I would stay with a group for one month to train them vocally, photograph the group, and help them with their dancing and acting. Then at the end of the month, I would consider whether to stay with the company or leave. I thought it was great, so I signed the contract after he explained the individual parts. Then he took me to meet the group I would be put with. I met them when they were in dance practice, but on a short break. They introduced themselves one by one, and the last one to introduce himself made me know that this job would be more complicated than I originally thought. Wu Yi Fan, you remember him right?”

                “The one that violated my baby sister on her Canadian vacation, how could I forget?” He growled through his clenched teeth. I smiled lightly, knowing how protective he was, and how furious he had been when Wu Fan and I broke up. “What then?”

                “Well, I went with them. Wu Fan, though his stage name is Kris, seemed to not remember me, so I acted the same. The subgroup that would promote in China left and I went with them, but not before a very teary goodbye to Chunji, though we didn’t break up. I was in Beijing for a week; the first two days were grueling with dance practice, even though I could pick up everything quickly. Through it, I started to get closer to each of the members, slowly discovering their likes and dislikes, hobbies, pasts, and secret crushes. I became their friend, but also their housewife. I woke them up in the mornings, cooked them breakfast, packed their lunches, went with them some days and made sure they were hydrated plenty, and other days I stayed home and cleaned, did laundry, and made sure a hot dinner was ready for them the moment they stepped through  the door. Until backstage at the SM Town concert on the twentieth, I hadn’t been a photographer for them once. Anyways, after the first week, there was a fansign event back in Korea, so we all flew back. Their manager let me off for the day and I went to go say hi to Chunji and his friends. When I got to their dorm, I was met with hugs by everyone except for Chunji. With him, I was met with a girl instead. When I asked her about them dating, she got all shy, yet glowing. I found out later that he just took her out to dinner, but the way they looked at each other was just so loving. So, I left. I called Wu Fan in a teary haze and left. After that, Kris promised he would protect me, that he couldn’t stand me being hurt. He was erted and took every chance to tease me, yes, but I knew that I could trust him. I felt safe and happy with him. I always have.” I sighed and realized that I had unconsciously been playing with the locket against my chest. With a small frown, I continued my story. “I went back to Korea to try to talk things out with Chunji, at least to tie together the loose ends. Chunji accused me of sleeping with the Exo members and I panicked, telling him how I lost it to Kris before I even met Chunji. He didn’t believe me, and thought that I had slept with him while Chunji and I were still dating. Some things happened and I fell to the floor, hitting my forehead against a wall, which hurt like a mind you, and the next morning I flew back. I went to the dance practice first thing, but Kris flipped when he found the injury on my head. He started checking me all over, trying to make sure I wasn’t hurt anywhere else, and he got a bit out of hand. I yelled at him about breaking my heart after he tried to reason about not listening to me with Chunji cheating. The next day we talked it out. You know how I thought Kris didn’t remember me?” Min Kyung nodded lightly and I laughed. “Well, he thought I didn’t remember him, which is why he just resorted to teasing me instead of actually talking to me about it. We talked things out and I realized how much I cared about him still, so we kind of got back together.”

                “I don’t approve.”

                “I don’t expect you to.” I shot back and Min Kyung laughed gently.

                “Some things happened at the SM Town concert with a label mate, Amber. She’s head over heels for him, and with the way they acted, I thought he could be too. I got royally jealous about her, even going to the extent of locking him out of the room for the night. We kinda-sorta made up the next day, before going to Disneyland. I met up with Mom and Nickolai, and lo-and-behold, Chunji shows up. He spent the whole day with my family, being the sweet dork that I had originally fell in love with, and sent my emotions into a damned tailspin. I had doubted myself, and that maybe I had done the wrong thing, going back to Kris. I thought that until we walked back to my hotel and he tried to get me to see that Kris was in love with Amber, and that he was the far better option, pitting himself against Wu Fan again. I angrily left him and went back up into my hotel room, to get interrogated by the god damn Spanish Inquisition about Chunji. They both were sending me into a panic, and I had to remove myself from the direct situation, so I ran away. I ran away and left with Mom back up to North Fork with only a small explanation to one of the Exo members, Lay. For nearly a month now, I’ve been sitting at home, staring out the window, trying to work out my problems, and failing. I don’t know what to do Min Kyung. I’m just lost.”

                “So you ran away from Chunji, Kris, and your job?” I nodded and my brother straightened the two of us up. “Do you remember the advice Dad used to give us?”

                “Work your problems in small areas and then the larger ones will slowly fall into place.” We recited the words we had heard countless times together.

                “I know, Min, and I’ve been trying. It just doesn’t work for me.”

                “First of all, we should fix your job. You’re a photographer, not a housemaid. I understand that you care for the guys, but you should voice your opinion to whatever-his-name-was, CEO guy. If he doesn’t respect your wishes, I’m sure Mr. Samuelson will gladly take you back after seeing your work, or any company in Korea or China. Let’s compile a portfolio that you can use to either help convince the entertainment company with or as a reference for a new job.” He ruffled my hair and I stuck my tongue out at him. “Even though you put up a wall and a mask, I know you, so I’m coming with you to get this sorted out. Otherwise you might just go hide with Mom again.” Eyeing the male, I scoffed lightly and shook my head.

                “You just want to see Eunji again. I know you. Don’t try to be so sneaky about it.” He rolled his eyes, but didn’t deny it.

                “He’s right, you know.” A soft voice drifted to us and I turned around, air escaping my lungs for a moment. “I told you we would wait, but you’ve taken too long. We thought something happened to you, Mei-Mei.”

                “Yixing. How did you even find me?”

                “Jihyun, who’s the guy?” Min Kyung warily inquired as I scrambled to my feet.

                “Even if you don’t come back to us, you still have unfinished business with the company, that’s why I came. We called your Colorado home, but your brother didn’t pick up. So, Kris called your Mom last night, and was told that you all were going to the beach today.” I walked up to him and he held out his arms. “Kris remembered you mentioning a surfing museum in a lighthouse over in Santa Cruz when you were both in Canada, so here I am to get you back home.” Closing the distance between us, I crushed Lay into a hug. I hadn’t realized just how much I missed the members, until I saw him. “Little sis, we’re hopeless without you. Even if you don’t live with us, not knowing where you are, or how you are, it worries us. Lu Han even lets Xiumin on his bed.” Lay laughed lightly as he held me tightly. “We can barely focus not knowing if you were okay, Mei-Mei. Please, come back.”

                “Min Kyung and I were already talking. I’m going back to sort out my job, Lay, and after that, I’ll figure it out as I go.” Yixing pulled back, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I miss all of you. You're like brothers.”

                “Let’s go, we miss you too.”

                “Min-ah! Let’s get the next flight out of here!” I called to my brother and he smiled gently at me, pacing over to us. The three of us walked out to the parking lot, hopping over the fence, and to the familiar van.

                “Good choice, sweetie. Airport ho!” My mother enthusiastically yelled after embracing my older brother.

                I’m going back. I’m going to fix my job. Can I fix my heart?

---

Hi guys. I know these two chapters are confusing. I apologize. I’m just trying to wrap things up, because the end is nigh!

Well, in a few chapters anyways.

Again, I am so sorry this has gotten confusing and so far off the original path.

Thank you so much for still reading this!

<3

~ Lynn