"Seunghyun..." I heard a whisper. "Seunghyun..." I could hear the smile on your lips as you said my name countless times, letting them slip through like echoes. The sun's rays painted my face, blinded, my hands searched for yours. Everything felt warm and just when I thought I found your hand, reality hit me hard and I was in my room alone. The skies were dark and cloudy. Everything felt cold.

It took time to comprehend that you weren't here and it was all just a dream. I breathed through my nose, holding back a sigh as I placed my hands over my face. Gradually, I began to hear the pitter-patter of the raindrops against my window. Dragging my hands off my face, I stared at the ceiling. The only music that lent me some sort of comfort was the sound of the rain, but at the same time, it all was just suffocating. 

How long has it been since we've gone without seeing each other?

It's almost winter, I looked over at my desk to snag a glance at the calendar. November was coming to an end. The air was getting cold too. There was no doubt that this winter was going to be the coldest I've lived through. I let out a sigh. There was no point in holding them back anyways, I would just go insane.

With all the strength I had in me, I pulled myself together and got out of bed. It felt like weeks that I've been on bedrest. Migraine hit me strong as I held onto the bed post for balance. My feet knocked over a couple bottles of soju that were lying around the floor. Another hangover, I said to myself. I then proceeded to tell myself I would clean up the dump I call my room.

When I reached to the bathroom, I flicked on the lights and the first thing I see were the bags beneath my eyes. I looked horrible. And smelled horrible. I took a quick shower.

How long was I out for? Has it been a few weeks already since I stayed in bed? I didn't bother continuing my train of thoughts, it would get complicated. I pinched the bridge of my nose in hopes for it to alleviate some pain. Nothing. Then I noticed the stubble that was beginning to show on my chin. I needed to shave. It was time to clean myself up. My hands turned the faucet on and I washed my face. Ice water struck me like lightning.

My hands held onto the both sides of the sink as I stared at the drain, hearing it roar as it gulped the running water. Memories started to flash before my eyes. The last time I shaved, it was pretty memorable.

<<

"Peek-a-boo!" You squealed from behind, wrapping your arms around my waist. Gazing at your reflection, I smiled at you. My hands reached for your wrists as I turned around and kissed your forehead. It was Saturday, early in the afternoon; I had a day off of work. I placed your hands on my chest as you giggled more and slid them over my shoulders and kissed my lips. "Seunghyun, you were about to shave, weren't you?"

Rubbing my chin, I answered, "And if I was?"

"Let me do it! Please?" You begged adorably in my arms. I had doubts, but I couldn't say no. I handed you the shaving cream and razor. You were in a wild fit of giggles while you smeared the cream all over my face. After puttin on a generous amount, you stopped your giggling and focused gingerly shaving my chin. I wanted to smile when I watched how dedicated you were.

Carefully, the razor ran across the sides of my faces and chin. After it was all over, you helped me wash off the excess and put on the after shave. Gently, your wet hands wrapped themselves around my face as you pulled me gently for a kiss. You smiled proudly at your work. "I can kiss you now."

I couldn't help but smile in amazement. My eyes looked down at nothing and back at you as I leaned in and kissed you again.

"How'd I snag a girl like you?"

>>

I patted on the after shave and stared at myself into the mirror one more time. I had this complex expression. I wasn't sure how to explain it. My lips were closed tight, my brows furrowed and my eyes looked dead. Maybe it's still the migraine, I told myself as I grabbed an asprin from the cabinet and swallowed it dry.

I put on fresh, new clothes. As I was fixing my cuffs, I noticed that the buttons were coming loose.

<<

"You don't have to do that, you know," I couldn't help but smile as I watched you from across the bed sewing back the buttons that fell off from one of my collared shirts. Your expression was one in a million in my eyes. The intense concentration and frail fingers that spent a great deal of time and love sewing back a few buttons warmed me inside. As soon as you were done and you put your utensils away, I jumped onto the bed and pulled you in.

Your back was on me as you fell on my lap. I chuckled, pushing your hair back to look at your beautiful face. "Thank you. How can I repay you?"

The sparkle in your eyes dazzled me as I waited for your answer. Staring at you upside down, you just giggled and pulled the shirt over our heads. Our thought clicked and I leaned in and kissed your lips. They were so soft and the smell of linen and cologne around us just aroused me even more. The heat that was building up underneath our little, white tent was beginning to heighten our senses. There was no point in stopping now.

I didn't go to work that day.

 >>

At first, I smiled a little to myself. "Those were good memories."

The rain wasn't stopping any time soon, it didn't really matter.

I walked over to the window with my arm up, leaning against the wall. I sighed. My eyes stared at the city below me, still busy as ever; even in this weather. Staring at nothing in the sky but the grey clouds, I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or to shout. I was already beginning to feel tired even though I hibernated for almost a month. I could feel my stomach shrivel because I haven't eaten in days. I had no appetite.

I sighed again. Even though a few months have passed, I guess it's still hard for me.

Hard for me to admit, that maybe I was feeling a little blue.

I was arguing with myself. It's fine that I miss you. It's fine to think about you from time to time. You helped me become the person I am now.

You and I.

What we had.

There's no words to describe the love we had together.

I loved you to death.

There was an instant conncention the minute I looked into your eyes.

My heart burned with red passion.

Now, it's been dyed blue.

Even if I try to imagine the warmth we had, I can't feel you.

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 7:28PM

— Author's Note: It was so conflicting how I should start off the first chapter! But I was on Youtube, browsing through some songs and Big Bang's Blue came on and I forgot how amazing the song and lyrics were. So I thought...Blue. I had to write the first chapter. This imagination of mine is running wild, I thought I might as well write it all out before I forget it all together! My brain's tired now. So I hope you all like the first chapter! Please, please, please leave comments down below! It would be really nice to hear all of your opinions on the first chapter and if you all like it! Subscribe if you haven't! (: Thank you for reading!