Why? Why was being close with In Young something bad in Kai’s eyes? Was it me? Or was it her ?

Could he see I was still emotionally unstable?

I bit at my lip as I walked to the school with In Young as my guide. Her presence beside me carried a different aura after my talk with Kai. I was no longer just shy, I was hesitant and almost anxious at the feelings that sprouted in my heart.

“Are you nervous?” In Young asked suddenly with her soft voice causing me to jump a bit.

“Is it obvious?” I gave a weary smile when she touched my arm while I flinched in response.

“Just a bit.” She chuckled and led me into the main office.

Luckily she took my strange behavior for nerves. If not, she’d think I didn’t want to be with her. That certainly wasn’t the case.

I was scared of the unknown reasons of why Kai warned me about being with her. I was truly distraught at this thought thinking of my own emotional problems. I didn’t want to share any of my many misfortunes with her and bring down her cheerful character. She talked with one of the administrators who seemed to know her as they talked comfortably. I stood in the background taking in the new atmosphere with interest

“Kyungsoo! Come on, I got you the audition.” She beckoned me over as she waited for me along with the woman. They ushered me into a small practice room where only a desk and a few speakers were present.

The woman and In Young sat at the desk as the administrator instructed me to show off my talent.

I stood motionless as I racked my brain for the song to sing. This was my one shot at really showcasing what I can do. I was scared. I was nervous. Everything was jumbled up like chords while I tried to straighten it all up and find the right ones.

I took in a deep breath and opened my mouth letting the first song I thought of play off my lips to the two women. It was nothing extravagant, but it was a song that carried a lot of meaning to me.

As I sang to the two women, In Young showed much interest as she stared at me with focused eyes that told me she felt the emotions I was feeling. Then as I looked at the lady beside her, she wore a facial expression of indifference as she sat unmoved by my singing.

And that’s when it happened. The words got stuck in my throat and I choked. My voice went sour while the words were no longer coherent. I was not singing anymore, I was just spurting out meaningless nonsense. My voice even cracked here and there.

“Okay, thank you...Kyungsoo.” The woman held up her hand and wrote a few notes down before leaving the room with just me and In Young.

As the door shut closed, I sunk to my knees with a long drawn groan. I ruined it. My one chance to find happiness, my chance to finally be in a place where I might just fit in. I shook my head as the ball of emotions shot through me adding hurt to the already long list. Tears started to flow as the outcome of my emotional eruption when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my back and a small figure press themselves into my shoulder blades.

“Don’t cry, Kyungsoo. Shhh, shh. Don’t cry.” In Young soothed as she rubbed my arms for comfort.

How could I not grow attached to such a woman when she attaches herself to me? Her embrace was welcoming. It was warm and comforting as she continued to speak soothing words in my ear.

“Come on, let’s go and get you something to eat.” She helped me to my feet and kept her arms around me as she ushered me out of the school.

We sat together at a table with one ice cream in front of us.

“Kyungsoo please eat. It’ll make you feel better.” She coaxed as she took a spoonful and raised it for me to eat.  I shook my head when she sighed heavily and took the spoon and shoved it into with a pained expression as she swallowed.

Her eyes swirled a bit as she shakily placed the spoon in the ice cream when I took it from her and began to eat it, “Happy?”

In Young looked up at me with a bit of a smile on her lips as she watched me consume the cold dessert.

As cold as it was it was just the trick that warmed my insides to the point my toes curled in delight. As I relished the ice cream, In Young sat limp in her seat her face paler than I remembered, “In Young are you okay? Did the ice cream do something to you?”

The girl only shook her head and sat up straight in her seat with a fake reply of assurance, “I’m fine. I’m fine. Just sleepy.”

I quickly finished the ice cream and helped the girl from her seat as she swayed a bit. I kept a firm grasp on her frail body as we walked back home. Her lively spirit completely gone as she dragged her feet on the pavement.

“Are you sure you’re alright? Do you want me to carry you?” I asked repeatedly but each time she only shook her head and chuckled, “I told you I’m just sleepy.”

I sighed at her lacking replies and opened the door to her house for her as she stumbled in. I caught her as her eyes drifted down while her eyelids started to close. I lightly tapped her cheek when she would look at me before closing them again, “In Young!”

“Urr, I told you I’m just sleepy.” She croaked out when she leaned over with her hands flying to her stomach and mouth as she ran to the kitchen and leaned over the trashcan as she threw up repeatedly.

She fell to her knees when I quickly came to her side and held her hair as she continued to throw up.

“We need to go to the doctor. I don’t think you’re just sleepy. Something’s wrong.”

“They already told me…I’m anorexic okay! I’m fine!” She leaned over again just as another round of her fluids came up again.

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