~yunho~

i dont know what to think... what to do.... what to say... when i meet her.... for, now, all that i know is i want to meet her, see her beautiful face, stare on her which i've been longingg to see since the past 3 months.... i'm wondering why did she take her own decision to face all of this... she's excluding me... why???

i speed up the car so that i'll be able to see her again... as soon as possible... i'm quite worry anyway, especially when ha neul said that she didnt get to contact her all day long and she dont even go to her class and do her presentation... as far as i know, shin ah wont ever skip her class, even if it was for me... she's so strict when it comes to study.. yea, i know why... she want to finish it as soon as possible and migrates to korea with ha neul... so that we will be together always...

i made my way to the address given by ha neul... it was a condo...i inhale deeply before ringing d bell... after a few times, there is still no sign that anyone is in... i decided to call my dongsaeng then..

'ha neul... i 'm here but i dont think she's in...' my voice crack in the end..

'oh... oppa, i forgot to tell you... she always put her spare key under the door mat... look for it then, maybe you can wait for her inside...' ha neul suggest..

'nae... where are you now??'

'i'm at my condo..'

'changmin??'

'yah hyung!! i'm here too.. dont worry, i'm not going to do anything to your dongsaeng... all the 4 of you might kill me if i do so...'

i cant help but to chuckle then...

'oh... see u later then... dont forget to call the guys there or you will here jae hyung nag soon...'

'nae... take care oppa...' ha neul said before she cut off the line

i soon find the key and my heart thumping hardly as i made my path in.. i dont know why...  as soon as i enter, i can smell her scent everywhere... she still using the same perfume as before... i make my way and walk around... as i enter the bedroom, her bed was a mess, she dont even tidy it up... its weird as i know that shin ah is a neat person, you can mess with her once it come to clean, neat and tidy... or, is she probably in?? i wonder... i make my way to the bathroom then... i open the door...

'shin ah!!!' i run to her as i found her lying on d floor... she's faint... i try to wake her up but she didnt move at all which scared me to death... i carry her out bridal style..  damn!! she must had lose her weight... she is so light, i notice that she's thinner than our last meet... i place her on her bed...

'yah.. shin ah.. wake up..' i dodge her body... i start to panicked when she still remain the same... no reaction... i dialled ha neul's number and she arrives with changmin soon together with our pivate doctor.. i ask ha neul to help her change before the doctor could attend her as she's completely wet... her skin was so cold... i have no idea of how loong she had been fainted... all alone by herself... changmin sit by my side...the doctors word still keep playing in my head...

'mr.jung... i'm afraid she's dehydrated.... is she being too busy lately?? if it is, she shouldnt have go to this extent... she's dehydrated... it looks like she's been working non-stop dis few month... anyway, i gave her a shot... she hsould be ok later... she need to rest..' the doctor emphasise the word REST...

'hyung... what did you think about, the doctor said she's going to be ok...' changmin pat my shoulder..

'i'm wondering what she's been doing to be in this condition... she never tell me anything when we talk..'

'oppa... dont worry, we'll figure it out later... have you take your lunch??' i just shook my head..

'you need to eat... or else how are you going to take care of her...' ha neul kneel in front of me...

'dont worry about me, just go back, i want to be with her...' i caress ha neul's cheek...

'are you sure oppa??'

'ne... changmin, take her back... and take care of my dongsaeng... you will regret it if anything happen to her... as what do i feel now...' my voice slow down in the end...

'hyung... dont worry.. she's going to be ok...' changmin hug me

'oppa...' i kiss ha neul hair as she hug me... changmin then hug ha neul and drag her by her waist to the door before both of them left...

i made my way into shin ah bedroom.. my tears start to fall down when i saw her face... my beautiful honey is now lying down... without the same bright and smile look on her face just like the lasttime when i left her, it hurt me to see her in this condition... i cant stop my tears... 

'mianhae shin ah.. mianhae... i'm supposed to be by your side.. take care of you... lean you my shoulder when you need it, wipe away your tears..' i cant say anything but just keep the silent tears to me... my words seems to be trapped in my throat...

i had a flashback in my head... how she used to smile and play around... shin ah treasure her smile so much.. she wont let it fade from her face.. even for 1 minute... she used to be a cheerful girl, playaround and enjoy her life as much as she wants... looking at her conditin now.. i dont know how miserable it had been for her... it seems that she didnt smile for quite a long time... i wonder what happen until she's turn out to be like this...

'oppa... oppa..' i look at her immediately when i heard that... but, her eyes reamin close, iy looks like she's being dreaming or something like that.. i soon spot tears drop fall from her eyes...

'i miss you oppa... i'm so tired.. i'm so tired...' she stuttered as her tears keep on falling..

'shh.. just rest honey.. your hubby is here with you...' i try my best to hold back my tears as i wipe her tears..

'i'm with you...' i kiss her forehead and make my way up on the bed beside her... i tug her closely to my chest and hug her... my tears keep falling down... i'm reminiscing our moment together... she loves to be in my embraces when she tired... when i remind of those, tears keep on falling... i keep on thinking the reason why she's end up to be like this....but, i just cant figure it out...

~shin ah~

i feel so warm.. it feels like i'm being in his embrace again.. if it was a dream, then i dont want to wake up.. i just miss him so much.. i miss my hubby so much.. but, i know that its impossible that he will be here by my side right now.. he's busy and that is the price that i have to pay when i'm dating an idol.. and he's not just an idol.. he's Dong Bang Shin Ki Jung Yunho!! an idol which many thousand of fan treasure... an idol with thousand of fan that is willing to do anything just to get him...

i start to smell his scent too... how great my dream are...i want to treasure this dream of mine... i start to hug him tighter and tears start to fall from my eyes..

'oppa... i must have miss you so much until i end up like this.. i feel like i'm in your embrace now... i can feel the same warm that i used to feel when i'm with you, your scent.. it feels likeyou are really by my side now..' i start to sob then... i just cant control myself as i burst into tears then..

'oppa.. i'm so tired... i'm so tired, and it feel worse without you by my side.. i cant share it with you too... i dont want you to worried about me... so, just let me spill out everything now although it just in my dreams.. i'll feel better...i dont know what can i do to stop her from doing that to me.. i'm just too weak to face it all... she's going to ruin your future if i didnt listen to her.. she had our photo togeher.. she's going to hand it to press if i didnt give her what did she want..' i keep on stuttering as i was crying...

'i really hope that this is not a dream oppa.. i really hope that you are really by my sied now... hug me... support mw with your arm and shoulder but how is that possible right... and i cant share it with you.. you'll be worried to death about me... so, i decided to take it alone.... ' i stop when i feel a hot tears fell on my hand.. it couldnt be mine as my hand is away from me.. i raised up my head quickly but it spin around, make me to fall again... and i do feel an arm around me.. the same arm that i've been longingg for... the warmth that i havent feel for a few months..

~ no one's pov~

yunho heart sink as he hear everything that she said... he cant even imagine that she's suffering.. and that is because of him... she protects him although she has to suffer... yunho wrap his arm around her, hug her tight... he's trying his best not to let his tears escape but somehow he cant control it...

'oppa??' shin ah gives out weird facial look..

'oh.. its me honey... your hubby is here with you... i'm here with you...' yunho start to sob as well as shin ah does..

'but, how-' yunho cut her off by kissing her.... he's being so gentle like she's so fragile that she can break into thousand pieces..

'why did you take it all alone?? why didnt you let me know about it?? even once?? am i that bad that you dont even want to share it with me??'

'oppa.. please dont say that.. its not like that.. i just want to protect you.. you had no idea what she can do..'

'but, you should at least let me know, then you wont have to suffer it all alone..... i cant find my star on you anymore.. you take away my star.. you promised me that you wont lat my star to go away from you... your smile that i treasure as my star..' both of them crying....

'mianhae oppa.. mianhae... i just..' yunho hug her and kiss her then.. he miss his honey so much...

'shin ah.. you have to promised me.. you wont take anything alone next time.. can you..?? please honey, why dont you understand?? word US is composed by 2 letters to be complete and that is how our love is complete when there is ME and You.. we need to be together no matter what happen... seeing you suffer like this... did you know how my heart sink?? did you know how miserable i feel that its because of me you end up like this??'

'oppa.. please stop it.. i promise...' shin ah throws herself to yunho's chest... yunho hug her tightly....

'ehmm.. ehmm...' both of them turn around to find jaejoong, yoochun, junsu, changmin and ha neul there..

'yah.. both of you...stop crying...' jaejoong said

'you guys need to eat something..' yoochun said

'yah.. palli.. i'm hungry too..' junsu said which make evryone to turn around to him...

'yah.. hyung, how can you said that?? you are so rude!!' changmin said

'yah.. you are the one who being rude now..' junsu replied

'yah!! stop!!' ha neul scream..

'guys, come one... we'll wait for you at the dining hall..' ha neul said and drag changmin away.. yoochun then break their arm link and hold ha neul's hand then... jaejoong cant help but to laugh at there...

'do you think you can get up??' yunho ask shin ah.. shin ah remain silent... yunho then carry her bridal style to the dining hall then...

'yah.. hyung, you are cool...'junsu said

'i can do that also..' changmin said and went to ha neul's place but then he pout when yoochun and junsu stand there in front of ha neul and raise their eyebrow...

'hahaha...' shin ah laugh... 'you guys are still the same.. just like before..' shin ah said.. yunho smile as he see his star is coming back..

'its good to see you laugh again dear..' jaejoong said as he hug shin ah..

'yah.. hyung... why did you hug her??' yunho said

'wae?? she's my dongsaeng too!! ' jaejoong said

'she's our dongsaeng too!!' yoochun and junsu said

'yah!! hyung, now you will know what do i suffer from..' changmin smirk then..

yunho sigh but then he smack changmin's head which make all ofthem to burst out laugh...

everyone sit down and start to eat then..

'you guys dont have to worry, we have settle everything down..' jaejoong said..

'wmo??' yunho and shin ah confused

'the girl that black mailed you.. she wont disturb you anymore..' yoochun said

'but,-'

'yah!! thanx me and my ha neul.. we are the one who figure it out...' changmin said..

'yah... hands off from my dongsaeng..' junsu said as he removes changmin's hand from ha neul

'yah.. stop it...!!' jaejoong yell

'shin ah.. whatever that happen, you cant take it all alone, arasso??' jaejoong said.. shin ah nod then

'you still have us... we are your brothers... remember that..' yoochun said

'if yunho bully you, just let us know, he will regret it soon..' junsu said while his mouth is full

'yah.. hyung!! you are disgusting.. dont talk when your mouth is full..' changmin interrupt

'noona... i'm your dongsaeng.... i'll let you know if i have any problem...' changmin said which make everyone to laugh then..

'yah!! you are such a...' yunho cant finish his word..

'nae... feel free to spill out anything to me..' shin ah said..

'yah!! it looks like everyone is forgetting me at here!!' ha neul pout...

'no... you are still our sister!!' jaejoong, yunho, yoochun and junsu said in unison..

'haish... 4 over-protective brother.. its going to be hard..' changmin sigh...

everyone laugh then....

~end~

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=) special 23_