Among my sunbaes, Jjong-hyung was the most sociable. He was a blackhole of sunshine whose friendly presence just drew everyone towards him. With his goofy, dino grin, and his round, puppy-dog eyes, Jjong-hyung easily made friends with just about everybody he met.

Naturally, my Dino-hyung was also pretty popular. And it’s not just because he was so approachable; he had the body that got all the girls drooling (but not my Noona, thank goodness!), and a voice that enthralled both men and women. Furthermore, Jjong-hyung was part of the student council, something that the principal had encouraged him, Noona, and Onew-hyung (when he was still here) to try out for. Yo Seob-hyung, who was the president last year, decided to step down despite having one more year in office, saying that he wanted to focus on his studies now that it really mattered.

Noona, meanwhile, was Jjong-hyung’s polar opposite. She was cold, claustrophobic, aphephobic and worst of all, misanthropic. She isolated herself from the class, and preferred to observe rather than to participate. Initially, the only thing that connected Noona and Jjong-hyung was the air of manliness that surrounded both of them. Jjong-hyung exuded the charms of what I deemed to be the perfect man: charismatic, diligent, and easy-going, while Noona qualified for the “tall, dark, and handsome” criteria and was often mistaken for an enigmatic boy with secrets waiting to be revealed. Unintentionally, that captivated the hearts of many of the love-stricken girls on campus, and Noona received a few confessions every now and then.

Jjong-hyung, from that time on until a certain accident, considered Noona as his rival. He wasn’t a player or anything, but he just couldn’t believe that a girl was getting as many love confessions as he—a full-fledged male—did.

Of course, Noona broke all of the girls’ hearts by flat-out rejecting all of them.

“I’m a ing girl, and I hate people.”

Harsh words. But it’s just like her to say them.

By some sick and horrible twist of fate, Noona and Dino-hyung were forced to be lab partners in their first year. My Noona obviously did not like it because she was paired up with a boy. Jjong-hyung, on the other hand, had no complaints and saw it as the perfect opportunity to delve into the mind of his rival and destroy her “reputation” from within. He tried to convince her, with his saccharine voice and his sweet eyes, that there was nothing to be worried about. Noona took that the wrong way, thinking that Jjong-hyung was subtly telling her "I'll be easy on you," and misinterpreted his queer way of blinking for a erted wink. She ended up pouring some chemicals on him, somehow igniting a small explosion in the lab. Fortunately, none of them were hurt, except for Jjong-hyung himself who experienced a few, light burns that healed in a matter of days.

They spent the rest of that day talking with the principal, and received some sort of counseling from him. Needless to say, Noona had promised to try and get along with Jjong-hyung.

That was the rocky beginning of their rocky friendship. Weeks later, they found out that they had a common friend: Onew-hyung.

A few days after the elections, and after Key-hyung was declared as the new president, all of the high school and the graduating junior high school students gathered in the main auditorium for the passage of duties and oath-taking of the incoming student council officers.

Key-hyung looked dignified as he stood on stage, Jjong-hyung beside him. Noona was also there, at the far end of the line of outgoing and incoming officers. Unlike the others, however, Noona had no student to congratulate. The principal, devastated that one of his most interesting pupils was going to graduate, postponed the appointment of the Powerplant’s new chairperson.

“Kibum-ssi, we’ve come a long way, haven’t we?” Jjong-hyung said to him as they stood at the center of the stage, a spotlight on them. In one hand, Jjong-hyung held a microphone, while on the other hand was the school’s gigantic, glass key. His grip on the thing was tight, and it was evident how Jjong-hyung had developed an attachment for his job. He loved being the president, and his trembling body told us that having to let go of the position scared him.

But Jjong-hyung knew he had to be strong, so he gave Key-hyung his signature grin, assuring all of us that it was time to move on and pass it on to someone who can do as well as he did. “I can’t believe that two years have passed since you’ve entered this high school, and I became your Hyung. And now, here you are, about to receive this symbol of both power and responsibility.”

The third year and the second year students laughed, remembering the little scandal that occurred in this very auditorium last year, during the welcoming assembly for the first years.

“Hyung, you’re about to cry, aren’t you?” Key-hyung teased, smirking at our crybaby of a Hyung.

“Shut up, Kibum! My tears aren’t supposed to appear until later!”

Laughter reverberated throughout the hall as Jjong-hyung and Key-hyung continued to joke around with each other, covering their sadness with playful banter. And when at last Jjong-hyung had made Key-hyung promise to fulfill his duties and continue his legacy, the former finally handed the key to his successor, and they engaged in a brotherly embrace signifying the trust that Jjong-hyung has given Key-hyung, and Key-hyung’s acceptance of his new responsibilities.

We all clapped, and I could see some students getting teary-eyed at the touching sight. I wanted to cry, too, and I had every right to do so because my Hyungs were on stage, showing weakness that men refused to present. Unlike many of students in the hall, I shared a special bond with Jjong-hyung and Key-hyung.

We, including the officers, were asked to sit down as Jjong-hyung strode to the podium in order to deliver his farewell speech. We all watched him silently, waiting for him to begin talking and pour his heart out, as he recounted every moment he spent being the president.

“I was a troublemaker back when I was in Junior High School,” he began, “I did things that I could never be proud of, and got involved in a lot of danger that teenagers shouldn’t be in. I realized, however, that if I hadn’t done them, if I hadn’t felt the regret and remorse for having done any of them, I wouldn’t be here in front of all of you, giving this cheesy speech, which, despite its corniness, explicitly states how lucky I am to have been granted the opportunity to serve you.”

“After experiencing the consequences of my actions—all in the span of one night—I entered this school after studying my off. I was absolutely determined and ready to change. I tried to be friendlier towards others, and my efforts were fruitful as I gained new friends. Still, I felt like I was being fake, trying to hide my past from them. I felt like whatever I did, I could never compensate for what I had done, even though no one knew anything about it. The guilt ate at me every single day, but I put on a façade nonetheless, because I didn’t want others worrying about something they are better off not knowing. I wanted them to see a person who was optimistic about things, someone they could easily approach and talk with.”

Jjong-hyung took a deep breath, steadying himself, gathering the strength to continue.

“A few months into high school, I was involved in a little explosion, after being paired up with someone whom I thought was my bitter, arch enemy. It’s pathetic, really, because it was a one-sided rivalry that stemmed from my jealousy over someone who was gaining attention without even exerting effort. Here I was, trying to befriend as many people, trying to receive their approval and recognition, while she gets all of that without even doing anything.”

I chuckled; Noona’s eyes were twitching.

Jjong-hyung, you exaggerate too much.

“The principal gave us a talk, and he just had to tell her all the —sorry, principal—I did. And it didn’t stop there. As if he wanted us to get closer, he assigned us special roles: we were tasked to join every project and activity that involved student affairs, and record the happenings. It’s a bit more complicated than just simple documentation, but whatever it was, the two—well, the three, since one member was added—found ourselves forming a friendship I never imagined was possible. But that aside, I became more active in student affairs, and for the first time in my life, I felt as if everything I had done in the past remained in the past. The nightmares that always visited me disappeared as I became busier and turned my attention to the well-being and condition of the student body. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had been vindicated.”

“I ran for presidency a year ago after realizing how much more I wanted to contribute to the greatness of this school. Being in that little team opened my eyes to the bad and the good…mostly the bad…of our academy, and, having experienced them myself, I wanted to turn things around for others before it’s too late.”

“It was not an easy journey. Although I did have many supporters, most of whom were my friends, I had no credentials to show. I was inexperienced, and people knew me only as the masculine boy who liked to chatter and sing. They don’t have any reason to vote for me, I told myself. Who was I compared to my contender who had dozens of good points? Thus, winning never really crossed my mind even though it was something I wanted. And when they did announce that I did,” Jjong-hyung sniffled as tears started to well in the corner of his big eyes.

“I…”

He hiccupped, rubbing his eyes as the tears flowed down uncontrollably. “I…I m-mean,” he hiccupped once again, his shoulders abruptly rising and dropping as he convulsed with a helplessness of a little kid. “I don’t want to let…I don’t want to let go of this position. Damn it, Key, I know you deserve it, I know you do. But I…” He wiped his tears with the cuffs of his navy blue blazer, “I really love my job. I don’t…I can’t…I…”

And Jjong-hyung just sobbed there, unashamed of his tears.

These were the tears he would offer his alma mater: tears of sadness, tears of gratitude, tears of farewell.

Noona and Key-hyung got up from their seats in the front row, and climbed the stage. Minho-hyung followed suit, running from his seat in the audience. As Minho-hyung and Key-hyung patted Jjong-hyung’s back, Noona smiled at him as she crossed her arms.

“You idiot. If you were going to cry like this, then you should have just let me read the speech for you. You know how heartless I am,” she said monotonously. Despite the flat tune, we all knew she was joking, and I giggled at the scene.

I saw some students start to cry as well, moved by the close friendship the four displayed on stage.

I smiled forlornly.

My high school sunbaes were really tight, as if they've known each other all their lives, when in fact, it has only been a few years since their first meeting. I, too, would have joined them if it weren’t for the insecurity that stirred in my being. For some unknown reason, I felt like I would be intruding, imposing, if I had gone over to them.

It was then that I realized how different I was from them. My Hyungs and Noona belonged to another world and I didn’t quite understand what they all felt and went through simply because I was still in Junior High. For the very first time, I felt so far from them, and even more so from Noona and Jjong-hyung who were the oldest.

I tried to comprehend, accept the psychological distance that separated me from them, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t because it pained me to know that by the time I enter High School, Noona and Jjong-hyung would have been gone, and in a few years time, Key-hyung and Minho-hyung would leave as well, and I would be the only one left.

The future scared me, because I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted, needed them with me. I was so clingy, I knew, but I…

I sniffled.

My vision blurred as tears began to rain down my cheeks. And I was glad that it happened on an occasion such as this, when everyone else was crying.

My heart hurt.

I don’t want them to go.

Please, stay. I’ll do anything for all of you to stay. I’ll even bring Onew-hyung back.

“Taeminnie, are you all right?”

As soon as the tears started to pour out, I rushed to the washroom, and stayed there, sobbing until the ceremonies were over. After washing my face, and frowning at how puffy and red my eyes and nose were, I went out of the comfort room, only to be greeted by Noona who leaned against the wall.

She was waiting for me.

“I…I’m fine, Noona,” I replied, but my tone gave it away.

“You know that I know when you’re lying, Taeminnie,” she cooed, my head. “Now tell Noona why you suddenly walked out of the hall and never came back.”

I bit my lip and pouted, reaching out for her blazer and holding it tight. I rested my forehead on her shoulder, and forced myself not to cry because I knew she didn’t like it when I did. I swallowed down the tears that were threatening to fall any minute.

“Because I’m scared, Noona,” I said, and left it at that.

I knew she would understand me.

And she did, as she gave me a comforting bear hug and whispered, “Don’t be. Noona will always be here for you.”

And even if I knew it was (or at least, treated it as if it were) a lie, even if I knew that she would be off to another city in a matter of weeks, I still believed her. She knew how to make me feel better, she knew how to make me love her.

“Noona, that’s a promise, okay?”

“Even without taking a vow, I would ensure it.” 

Author's Note:

Hello, everyone! Sorry for making you wait!

Anyhow, this chapter happens in the same Week as Chapter 3 :-) 

AND IT'S JUST SO EMOTIONAL. T.T *sobs* 

But seriously, things are about to get even more cry-cry. This is not a happy story, I tell you :)) Just a few more chapters to go! 

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Till next time!