I often dreamed about the future, but it was more of a fantasy, really, because everything was just so surreal and idealistic, and I know it was impossible for the events to happen.

But I loved my dream, for I am taken into a world that I subconsciously longed for, yearned for.

In my dream, the six of us live together in a blue, medium-sized, two-story farmhouse with a tiny garden outside, and a white rocking chair on the front porch. On our metal nameplate was the word ‘SHINee’ painted in white, and an illustration of grapes on top of it. Our mailbox is an antiquated find, with its brown, rustic color and its bright red metal flag protruding upwards into the sky.

Our community is quiet but pleasant, and the surrounding houses are all designed based on either European architecture or Japanese minimalism. Bushes and trees and flowers and shrubs separated one house from the other, and each home had a small space for cars to park in.

The asphalt sparkled in the light of the sun, and the breeze was gentle and calming.

Inside our humble house, the wooden floor is cool against my feet, but the living room is cozy thanks to the small fireplace, and the burning firewood crackled and sent tingling sensations to my stomach. In another room is a wooden grand piano for me to play and compose with and express all the emotions I bottled up inside. Beside my piano were a gramophone and the records that Noona and Onew-hyung loved to listen to.

Key-hyung’s favorite place was the kitchen. Because of the spatial limitations of our household, the kitchen was composed only of a long counter that contained the stoves, his pans and pots, and a faucet; it also doubled as Key-hyung’s preparation table. And he did everything on it; it was very out of character for Hyung to be messy, but the small area restricted him. Parallel to the counter was our pantry that housed our dry goods, canned goods, the plates, the bowls, the utensils. We also had a fairly huge silver refrigerator that Key-hyung always made sure was full.

Upstairs were three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a leisure room where we could just hang out, play video games and watch movies every Friday night. We even had a small pool table for Minho-hyung and Jjong-hyung to duke it out on. And when it rained in our peaceful town, Noona would invite us to play Tong-Its or Poker as we sat on the carpeted floor, and would teach us everything she knew about the games: the tips, the tactics, and even the cheats.

“You call it cheating, but I call it survival,” she said, smirking at all of us.

Noona and I were roommates in our little house; Minho-hyung and Key-hyung stayed in the green room, while Onew-hyung and Jjong-hyung stayed in the blue room. Our room was white, with two desks across each other stuck to the wall; between the desks was our auburn door. There was also a full-body mirror next to my desk. Our beds had a peculiar layout: Noona’s bed was raised, like a top bunk, while mine was below, only, it faced another direction and jutted out. I had a bedside table, too, and on top were an alarm clock and a maroon lamp. Because Noona’s favorite pattern was houndstooth, our comforters had that design in black and white. Noona chose the top bunk because she wanted to look over me and make sure that I was safe and sound. I had no complaints about it because I just love her so much, and I liked to stare up at her abstract paintings whenever I lied down on my bed.

In my phantasmic version of the future, Onew-hyung was already a second year in the nearby college, Jjong-hyung and Noona were first years in another, Minho-hyung and Key-hyung were graduating students in our high school, and I finally entered Senior High. We would all get up at around seven am, Key-hyung a bit earlier because he had to cook breakfast, and would bid Onew-hyung farewell at around seven-thirty, when he would go to class. Jjong-hyung would leave shortly thereafter, while Noona took me, Key-hyung and Minho-hyung to our school in her silver car, before driving herself to her college.

And in the night, when we were all complete, we would have a feast for dinner, and just talk about what happened during the day, when we weren’t together and had our own lives to live. Most of the stories were happy, but there were also some frustrating ones, usually from Jjong-hyung who complained about his stingy Economics professor or from Key-hyung who whined about the amount of work the principal placed on him. After dinner, we would either go off to our own rooms when we had schoolwork to do, or, when we were free, watch tv and cartoons.

And the night would end with Noona and I on our beds, exchanging a few more stories, before saying a final “Saranghae-yo” to each other, and turning off the dim lamp.

In my little world, we laughed, we cried, we smiled, we frowned.

We were a family.

And we had the best time of our lives.

I often dreamed about the future, and even though each moment was just a figment of my imagination, even though I knew that it was impossible to happen, I still longed for it.

One day, I had a nightmare.

We were all eating dinner, when Noona declared that she had bad news.

“I can’t live with you guys anymore.”

And it just stops there—no explanation whatsoever—because everything becomes hazy, and everyone, except for Noona and I, disappear. The house is no longer there, the trees, the houses, the sparkling asphalt.

Noona and I are standing across each other in a white world.

White as far as the eye could see.

Nothing else but white.

Suddenly, a boy appears right beside her. I don’t see his face, but somehow, I know that he’s roughly around my height—he’s lanky but lean, and has porcelain-like skin. He doesn’t have eyes, a mouth, a nose, or anything on his face, and the only distinctive thing about it is its tiny, heart-shaped form. His hair is brown, and its stuck in all directions, like he was electrocuted or something.

I don’t see his face, but I can tell that this boy was someone whom people considered attractive.

I wake up just as he was about to hold Noona’s hand. I don’t know if I opened my eyes because I was scared that someone was going to touch her, or because that was how dreams and nightmares worked: you jolt up at the most important part. And when I do sit up, my heart is beating fast, and my hands are trembling.

I felt threatened by that boy.

I often dreamed about a fictional future, and even though I knew it would never happen, something told me that my nightmare would.

And it terrified me.

“Wake up, sleepyhead!”

My eyes shoot open, and everything is fuzzy—a blur of yellow, pink, aquamarine, and chartreuse. When I finally become conscious of everything around me, I see Noona’s gentle, smiling face.

“Ugh…” I feebly groaned, removing my head which had unconsciously settled on Noona’s shoulder. I looked out the window.

Myeongdong.

“We’re here, Taeminnie,” she said, and my bedhead, combing my hair with her fingers.

I groggily nodded. My eyes had threatened to fall asleep again.

“Taemin!” Key-hyung shrieked, “Come on, let’s go shopping!” Key-hyung doesn’t even wait for my reply, and exits the car, dragging Minho-hyung who sat beside him in the front.

Of course it was Key-hyung’s idea to venture out into the city, miles away from our quaint suburban village, and go to a high-end shopping district of all places. Unlike our little community, Seoul City boomed with life and energy, business and leisure. Everyone dressed in the trendiest, most expensive clothes, while we, with the exception of Key-hyung who was a hardcore fashionista, wore simple shirts and jeans. We weren’t country-bumpkins, because our town was still part of a modern, urbanized region just outside of the Seoul National Capital Area, but you could quickly tell that we were not from Seoul.

“Taemin, come on, it’s time to get up,” Onew-hyung tells me from his driver’s seat, looking at my reflection in the mirror.  I shake my head, and hang onto to Noona’s arm, burying my head into the crook of her neck.

“I want to stay here with Noona!” I whine, “Besides, Noona doesn’t like that place; it has too many people!”

Onew-hyung and Jjong-hyung laugh. “All right, suit yourself,” Jjong-hyung says, and he and Onew-hyung walk out the car.

“Noona doesn’t like that place, right?” I ask against her neck.

She puts her head onto mine, “Nope. I like it here with Taeminnie.”

Noona smells so good.

I often dreamed about the future, and I love it when I am transported to that time, to that place. But there was one thing that I did not like, and it could not compare to its real counterpart. In my dreams, Noona smelled like roses.

In reality, Noona smelled like a lot of things, a lot of flavors: strawberries, watermelon, sunflowers, lavender, rosemary, peaches, pineapples.

I loved Noona’s scent.

I often dreamed about the future, but there was one thing in reality that I preferred.

The car door suddenly swings open, and Key-hyung crouches down and pokes his head inside. “Stop being such party-poopers, you two!” he scolded us, “I’m treating you to lunch, remember? If you’re being like this, then good luck finding a cheap restaurant in this place!”

Noona and I groan, but we go out nonetheless, my arm still protectively wrapped around her own; Key-hyung had a point: there was no such thing as ‘cheap’ in Myeongdong.

I often dreamed about the future, but while I was in Myeongdong, I was wide awake, and for some unknown, I was apprehensive.

And in the sea of people, a vaguely familiar figure catches my eye, but I disregard the sickening feeling gnawing at my insides, because Noona is here with me, and I am here with her, shielding her from the touch of others.

I often dreamed about the future, a chimerical world that I created because I longed for it,  yearned for it.

However, I stopped dreaming about it after that day in Myeongdong. 

Author's Note:

Hello, everyone~

I know I said that updates would be slow, but here I am, posting another chapter.

I felt inspired, all right :)) I wanted to write something that was bordering fact and fiction, and well, this was produced! But seriously, this would be my last chapter in a while, since school is starting and I want to focus on The Beach arc in Roommates, just so that everyone could finally find out how the protagonist met Taemin. :-)

Anyway, if you've read Roommates, you should recognize Taemin and the protagonist's room! 

Thank you for reading, subscribing and commenting! To my new subscribers, thank you so much for giving my fic a chance! I am also inviting subscribers who haven't read Roommates, to take a shot at reading it! 

If you have time, please do comment! I would love you hear your thoughts!

Thank you and see you soon!

Till next time!