Sehun’s face was now pale, and it almost becoming white.

Machines are everywhere, and the smell of hospital disgusts him.

He’s been looking at the picture of his favorite hyung. Luhan.

Sehun and Luhan are best friends ever since they were in their mother’s tummies.

When one of them has a problem, they tell each other’s and they defend each other every time.

“Hyung.” Sehun whimpered.

Luhan slung an arm around him, “What happened?” he asked.

Sehun looked at him with teary eyes, “Chanyeol hyung bullied me again.” He said and started to cry.

Luhan chuckled, as he rubbed his dongsaeng’s back, “It’s alright. Chanyeol is such a normal immature seven years old. Do you want hyung to beat him?” he asked.

Sehun sniffed and nodded, “I want hyung to fight for me! You’ll do it for me, right?” he asked and flashed a smile.

Luhan chuckled and nodded, “Of course. Anything for my favorite dongsaeng.” He said.

Sehun breathlessly sighed as he weakly eyed the picture, with eyes half closed, “Hyung..” he said, more like whisper to a wall.

“Hyung..” Sehun whispered while opening Luhan’s window.

Luhan jumped a little, and closed the book he was reading, “What are you doing, Sehun?” he asked as he help the little Sehun climbed inside his room.

Sehun smiled and closed the window, “I’m scared. Can I sleep with you?” he asked while pouting.

Luhan giggled, “Sure. Are you sleepy already?” he asked.

Sehun nodded as he walked towards Luhan’s bed, “I had a bad dream, hyung.” he whispered.

“What dream?” Luhan asked.

Sehun sighed, “That I’m going to have a cancer, and I’m gonna die.” He said.

Luhan patted his shoulders, “That’s not going to happen, Sehun. Look at you, you’re very healthy! It’s impossible.” He said.

Sehun slightly nodded and lied down, “Good night, hyung.” He said.

“Good night.” Luhan said.

Sehun’s eyes started to form tears, but he’s keeping it in, “Why, hyung.... Why.” He whispered as a tear fell down on his face.

Luhan looked at Sehun, “Sehun-ah.”

“Hmm?”

“I’m going to tell you something.” Luhan said.

Sehun crossed his legs and nodded, “What is it, hyung?”

Luhan bit his lip, “I’m going to China.” He whispered.

Sehun’s face fell, “W-what? B-but w-why?”

Luhan sigh as he shrugged, “I don’t know.”

Sehun’s started to sob quietly, “Hyung. Are you going to leave me?” he asked.

Luhan chuckled and shook his head, “Of course not. I’m just going to start and finish high school there. And I’m going back.” He said.

Sehun buried his face on his shoulders, “But that’s a long time!” he yelled.

Luhan sighed and bit his lip, “It’s alright, Sehun. I’m going to call you every time.” he said.

Sehun looked up, “Every time?” he asked and Luhan nodded.

Sehun held out his pinky, as Luhan put his pinky on his, “I promise.” Luhan said.

Sehun started to cry. Sehun already finished college, and Luhan is not in Korea yet. When Luhan went to China, he called Sehun for the first five months. And after that, they don’t have any connections at all.

Sehun’s heart sank. Luhan’s not there to protect him. Luhan’s not there to help him at his situation. Luhan’s not there to watch him every day. And Luhan’s not there, to notice Sehun’s love for him.

Sehun loved his hyung ever since. He doesn’t want to be detached from each other.

After both of them lost contact to each other, Sehun started to drink, clubbing, and he even tried to smoke. And when he tried smoking, he did it every time. Every time, whenever he felt alone. That’s why cigarette is his best friend when Luhan’s not there.

That’s why he got this symptom. Lung cancer.

Sehun’s is in the stage of dying. He was about to give in anytime. Anytime.

Sehun already tried all diagnosis. But he didn’t survive.

His cancer was in the stage of the worst. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen next. He’s becoming weak, every second. And still, Luhan is still not there to watch him leave.

Sehun lighted another stick of cigarette, “Damn, Sehun-ah. When did you start trying cigarettes?” Chanyeol asked.

Sehun blew a smoke in front of his face, “When I first saw you doing it, hyung.” He said.

Chanyeol laughed, “Is it my fault?” he asked.

Sehun sipped another smoke and nodded.

“Well it’s not me actually. If Luhan didn’t leave, you’re not going to be like that.” He said.

Sehun flicked some ash and he looked at Chanyeol, “You’re right.” He muttered, as he blew another smoke.

Sehun eyes became more blurry, as tears started to fall uncontrollably on his face.

He slowly put the picture on his stomach, and he put his hand beside him.

“I need you, hyung. I want you to know....I think it’s time.” he whispered while eyes are half closed.

But before he could fully close his eyes, the door opened. Revealing the panting and worried Luhan.

Sehun slowly turned his head to his right and smiled, “Hyung.” He whispered.

Luhan his lips, ran to Sehun, and held his arms, “Yes. Hyung’s already here.” He said as he caressed Sehun’s hand.

Sehun smiled and another tear fell on his eye, “Hyung. It’s been a while...” he whispered.

Luhan bit his lip and he caressed Sehun’s forehead, “I know that, Sehun. I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. It’s okay now, hyung’s here, Sehun. Hyung’s here.” Luhan said.

Sehun cried while looking at Luhan, “Hyung.” He whispered.

“Yes, Sehun. I’m here, no need to be scared Sehun. I’m here. Hyung’s here.” Luhan said.

“Hyung.” Sehun whispered again.

Luhan nodded, “I’m here.” He whispered.

Sehun sadly smiled, “It’s time, hyung. It’s time.” he breathlessly said.

Luhan’s eyes widened as he shook his head, “No, Sehun. It’s not time. You’re going to be alright.” He said.

“No, hyung. I can’t do it anymore.” He whispered while crying.

Luhan lowered his head and started to cry, “Sehun. Please no. Don’t leave please.” He pleaded.

Sehun smiled, “I’m just going to rest, hyung.... Wait for me.” he whispered as he slowly closed his eyes.

Luhan looked up and his eyes widened, “NO. SEHUN. COME ON STAY AWAKE! HYUNG’S RIGHT HERE! YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE TIRED, SEHUN! LUHAN HYUNG IS ALREADY HERE!” he yelled.

Sehun smiled while eyes are closed, and shook his head, “I love you, hyung.” He said.

Luhan continued to cry, “Sehun. Please, don’t do this to me. Please don’t leave me.” he pleaded.

Sehun tried to open his eyes but he can’t, “Hyung....Remember.....th..at...I..love...you.” he said and his eyes finally shut, as his head fell leftwards.

Luhan’s eyes widened as he shook Sehun, “Sehun! NO! Wake up! Come on, Sehun. I know you’re just kidding.” He said.

But nothing’s happening. Sehun’s eyes are already closed, and he had no more heartbeats.

Luhan sobbed really hard, as he buried his face on his dongsaeng’s neck, “Sehun. Why. Hyung’s already here. Why did you leave me.” he whispered as he continued to cry on Sehun’s neck.

“Hyung~” Sehun whined as he pouted.

Luhan laughed and pointed at Sehun’s ponytail above his head, “Look at yourself Sehun! You look cute!” he teased and laughed.

Sehun crossed his arms and sneered, “Yeah right. I already know it.” he mumbled.

Luhan stopped laughing, “Aish. You’re proud that you’re cute huh?” he asked.

“Of course. I’m way more cuter than you hyung.” Sehun proudly said.

Luhan snickered, “Yeah right.”

“Hyung.”

“Yes?”

“Do you know...”

“Know what?”

Sehun stood up, walked to his hyung and smiled, “I love you.” he said as he gave Sehun a peck on his cheeks, and ran off.

Luhan chuckled, “I love you too.”

It’s been exactly one month, since Sehun’s got buried.

Luhan always visited it every day. And sometimes, twice a day.

He felt guilty. For everything.

He’s not there to take care for Sehun. He’s not there to protect Sehun. He’s not there to stop Sehun for trying cigarettes.

Everything. He felt guilty for EVERYTHING.

It was all his fault. If he at least call Sehun every day, Sehun will not try cigarettes, and he’s not going to rebel secretly.

Luhan put the flower down on Sehun’s grave and sadly smiled.

“I love you very much, Sehun.”