*Youngmin's POV*

The warmness and love that you promised to me, could I ask them back? Please no more sorry and no more pain. Better you gave me your cuteness and laughter. My heart was weird. That thing told a lot of something. It screamed hard! Jo Youngmin, you pabo! He wanted you to move on! Then it begged. Please Youngmin-ah~ it hurt so let’s stop loving him. It glared. Jo Youngmin, You pabo! I hated you! Again. It calmed down. It’s alright so let’s be friend with him. Yeah... you, Heart! Shut up, will you?!

“Give me one chance... I'll not broke my promise this time, I only want you here... I'll try to be mature and be patient to waiting you back... just give me one chance... I still love you... please come back...”

Ne, I came back. Secretly my heart screamed how pabo I was. Jo Youngmin, You babo! No. I didn’t give a damn about that stupid heart because his smile meant a lot for me. Then..the weak but lovable part of my heart replayed the memories when he gave me piggy-back. The warmness as he kissed my cheek and took the photo of it. The shyness every time he made me blushed. The hope he gave when ‘he’ broke my heart. That day my heart betrayed me slowly. That day you stole my heart innocently. Before you..broke it.

“He comes back but he changes now. He’s rude toward me. I don’t know if he’s the guy who I know.”

My heart laughed and yelled at me. I told you, Jo Youngmin! You pabo! Ne, I was pabo Jo Youngmin. So what? ..Secretly I begged to God to kill this pain but-

“I'm sorry... I shouldn't ask you to wait... You better don’t waste your time for me... I’m grateful you still want to talk with this stupid boy who only can give u more pain... so sorry hyung...”

No..no..no!! Don’t say it!! I screamed and cried inside but my heart gave me no damn! It cried with me! Dammit! Stop torturing me, Stupid heart!! I- to be honest I wanted to wait...I wanted to wait as long as he gave me the warmn-

“I can't... I can't say 'yes' and how if I look at you as him? no... I don't want to do that to you... I’m still hurt and need time to heal this pain and forget him”

my life! this love! I- I w- The crying voice...Where I heard it from? How I could hear it?..Yeah. It’s from my heart. Jo Youngmin, you were lifeless now. It said slowly. Ne, I was lifeless since another new life that he gave.... Incidentally he took it back slowly and painfully.

“Ne..I understand..I’m so stupid.. Maybe you always see me as him for the first time.. I thought I was strong enough.. But I’m not.. I’m not angry... But I’m sad.. I don't blame you... You never love me.”

You didn’t understand!! My heart screamed hard. Hell yeah, I didn’t understand. I didn’t act like him. We’re different. Kwangmin-ah..It’s me..Could you see me? I- I was me. I wasn’t him. A stupid hope whispered that maybe he felt something for me..although maybe it’s just a little. Maybe I could wa-

“I thought I loved you....I'm so stupid. How can’t I understand my feeling? That’s why you better forget me... Because I don't know.... How long I’ll stay in this pain...”

Shamelessly my heart begged on him!! No! Please say you love me!! I wanted to kill that part of my heart. Couldn’t it see that everything was hopeless? The beautiful warmness was gone while innocent tears made their way. Where? How? What is it? I felt like stupid and didn’t know what to do.. What to feel. So tell me..But..He told me to forget him. My heart stopped crying to glare at me. It blamed me. No! I- I wanted to love him. He gave me another life after- My heart slapped me mentally. He took it back!! He took your new hope back, you pabo! Open your eyes! You’re so wrong!...If loving him meant I was wrong, I never wanted to be right, Heart. Never. Let me love him..

“Can we still talk as friend after all of this mess? You’re my hyung... I already lost a lot of important people I know here”

My heart became silent. I nodded and hugged him mentally because..My body froze while..My heart was dead. You ask why? I killed it. No, maybe he killed it. I didn’t really care. I didn’t want to care. The silent felt better. No heart, No love. No love, No pain. Then let’s move on and move on. Ne..he wanted to move on. And I would move on if he really wanted it.

But...His cuteness, kindness and warmness were too cruel. Too cruel. My heart laughed and waved at me. It lived again. Another pain? I didn’t know. It’s lifeless or too much? Time. More time. Secretly I still waited for him. Stupid, right? My heart laughed. Yes, you’re stupid. But you wanted this way, right Jo Youngmin? You want- off!! I didn’t really know what I wanted!! I wan- You wanted his love, ne? My heart asked me softly. I nodded in peaceful silent. Yeah..A lot of things happened. My friend...even he wanted me to move on.

“Beautiful light,” I smiled and started walking toward that gate. Beautiful white gate. I felt I would get peace there. Pea-

“Hyung! Come back!”

“Umma!”

“You pabo!”

Too..noise

“Please open your eyes.”

....

Huh?

Am I sleeping?

Too heavy. I opened my eyes to see my “Pabo” family. Mentally I laughed but my body was in pain. Stupid car. Stupid incident. Stupid..heart.

“Hyung, I-“

“Kiss me, Stupid Kid.”

Because..this heart still lived. Living in me. Giving me desired to want him. So...Kwangmin, kill this heart. Or..I would-

            “I love you.”

            “I love you too.”

            My hearted clapped it’s hands. Stupid heart. But..secretly I wanted to kill that heart?...no..no..no..the Key was..Kwangmin. The holder key of my heart. Kill the heart! My heart pouted. Aigoo~

            “Kill the heart.”

            “Huh?”

            “If you want to.”

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natesea: *bows* thank you ... -thinks-