The next day, Kris visited Jungah again. He rang her doorbell several times. When she didn’t answer, he banged his fist on the door. “JUNGAH, I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE! OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR! AT LEAST SHOW ME THAT YOU’RE OKAY!”
There was no reply. Kris rested his forehead against the cold door and shut his eyes. *Damn. . What if something bad happened? Or what if she blames me for everything, and she never wants to see me again?*
“What are you doing here?” A voice whispered.
His eyes shot wide open, and he spun around.
Jungah was standing there with bags of groceries in her hands. His eyes flitted from her body to her face. Everything seemed to be all right with her. Her eyes were a bit swollen, but that had been expected.
“Where did you go?” Kris asked, stunned.
“Market, as you can tell.” Her face revealed nothing.
There was no sadness. There was no resentment. There was no anger
. Jungah walked past him. Kris stepped back and winced as the cold air blew past him. There was something unsettling about Jungah. She was void of emotions. Either she was over Zico’s death, or she was so heartbroken that she was incapable of feeling anything. He highly doubted it was the first.
Jungah opened the door. She didn’t invite him in, but she left the door unlocked.
Kris caught the door before it could close. He stepped into her house and warily looked around. The house was unusually neat and organized. He didn’t know what he had been expecting, but he definitely hadn’t expected everything to be so calm and normal. Jungah disregarded him as she placed all the food in the refrigerator and cupboard.
“How…are you?” Kris carefully asked.
“Fine.” Jungah shut the refrigerator door and placed the plastic bags into the cupboard.
His eyebrows furrowed, “Are you sure?” She spun around with her poker-face on, “What do you want me to answer? Do you want me to tell you that I’m dying? That I’m ing miserable beyond words? That if I had a choice, I would follow Zico to heaven or hell?”
Kris deeply frowned. “Don’t say that.”
“Isn’t that what you were expecting me to say?” Jungah turned her back to him, “I’m not going to spontaneously combust, so don’t worry about me and go your way.”
“Go…my way?” Kris whispered in disbelief.
Jungah spun back around, “When are you going back to China?”
“Do you want me to go back to China?” Kris shot back. He couldn’t believe she was asking him such a question.
“Don’t you have to? It’s your home.” Jungah placed one hand on her hip and tilted her head, “Don’t tell me you thought we were still going to be together after all of this.”
His face paled, “W-what?”
Her eyes narrowed, “Zico is dead because of your gang. Your friends hurt mine. Now Zico is gone. How can you possibly expect me to still be with you after what your friends did to mine?”
“That has nothing to do with our love!” Kris shouted.
“As long as you are still friends with that atrocious gang of yours, we can never be. I can’t even look at you without thinking about Zico’s death.” Jungah hissed.
“I quit the gang!” Kris sneered. Her eyes rounded in surprise, “You what?”
“I quit the gang, all right? I’m not a drug dealer anymore! I’m just me!” Yet, he couldn’t help but think of what Liang had told him. “A leopard can’t change his spots.” For a second, he thought she would forgive him since her face went soft with blankness. *It’s good that you quit. That way, I won’t hurt you when I’m getting my revenge.* Jungah looked away, “I made up my mind. You should go.”
“JUNGAH!” Kris screamed in frustration. He grasped her arms and shook her madly, “How can you do this to me?! I’m not the one that killed Zico! I know I do have some responsibility towards his death, but I’m not the one that shot him! I thought you said you were in love with me! How can you let go of me so easily after this incident?!”
Jungah squeezed her eyes shut tightly and tried hard not to break into a sob or he would know of her plans. *There’s only one way I can break him away from me.* Her eyes shot wide open, and she glared at Kris with a false burning hatred. “I don’t love you anymore.”
“Lie!” He snarled.
Jungah shoved him, “I’m telling nothing but the truth. Do you know what Zico told me before he died? He said he was in love with me.” His face fell. She smirked, “Yeah, he was in love with me all along. I loved him, and he loved me. We were the perfect couple, but he just had to die before he could confess.”
“No…” Kris whispered.
“If he survived those bullet wounds, I would’ve left you. I would’ve left you and went to Zico.” Jungah sneered. Lie after lie spilled out of , and she became uncontrollable. She spat the most vile, heart-splitting words to him. She could see the pain etching across his face. It hurt her to see him like this, but there was no other way. She had to protect the last man she loved.
“ENOUGH!” Kris shouted. Jungah stopped talking. He released her and stepped back. “I got it. Zico is more important to you than I am. You love him more than me. You wish it was me that died instead of him.” Kris looked up and gazed at her with sorrow and pain. “I get it…so you don’t have to say those words anymore.” Then he turned around and left the house.
Jungah heard the door shut. Her legs gave out, and she collapsed onto the floor. Incoherent blubbers of grief escaped her lips. *I’m so sorry, Kris, but it’s better this way. You won’t be in the way when I go after Liang. And I’ll be able to hurt your friends without a guilty conscience.*
BAM! BAM! BAM! Jungah stopped crying and looked up. *Did Kris come back?*
The loud thumping on the door continued. She got up on her feet and dragged herself to the door. Jungah opened the door, “Why are you back-“ She stared at the person in front of her door in astonishment.
It wasn’t Kris. It was Jaehyo, and he didn’t look happy at all.
Jaehyo flung open the door and strode in. Jungah stumbled back. “What are you doing here-“
“Give it to me.” Jaehyo demanded.
Confusion crossed her face, “I don’t know what you’re talking about-“
“I know you have the gun! Give it to me!” Jaehyo snarled.
Her face fell. *How did he know…?* Then her eyes grew determined and stubborn. “No.”
Jaehyo grabbed her by the arms and sneered as he looked wrathfully into her eyes, “GIVE ME THE GODDAMN GUN, HAN JUNGAH. I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE PLANNING TO DO! YOU ARE IN NO ING CONDITION TO BE GOING AFTER A GANG LIKE THAT. THEY’LL KILL YOU BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN TOUCH THEM, AND YOUR CORPSE WILL ROT AWAY WITH THE DOGS. IS THAT HOW YOU IMAGINED YOUR DEATH?!”
Jungah flung him off of her and snarled, “I IMAGINED THAT I WOULD DIE WITH THE PRIDE AND HONOR OF HAVING REVENGED ZICO’S DEATH!” His expression fell. She shook her head tenaciously, “I can’t just let them go like this. I can’t let them go on happily after what they did to Zico. They killed him when it wasn’t even his fault.” Her eyes filled with tears, “He haunts my dreams every night, Jaehyo. I don’t think he’ll rest in peace until he gets his revenge. I’m going to do that for him. I’m going to kill them mercilessly, just like how they killed Zico without blinking an eye.”
Jaehyo stared at her softly for a couple seconds. He understood how she felt, yet, he couldn’t let her risk her life stupidly like this. The hostility was back on his face. “Pride? Honor? You must be ing kidding me, Han Jungah. This isn’t about pride and honor. You go out there yourself with just a gun, and you’re dead. Zico’s life would have been in vain. He went through all kinds of bull just for you. And now you’re wasting your life like this? Do you think revenge is what Zico would have really wanted? Then you better think again. You know Zico better than anyone. How could you assume something so ridiculous about him?” Jaehyo stepped towards her, “He loved you more than anything in this world. He wanted you to be safe and have everything that he couldn’t. He wouldn’t want you to throw away your life for him like this. Think again, Jungah. Reconsider your plan. Move forward. Don’t fall back.”
Jungah felt constrict painfully. *I know. I know Zico loved me. I know he wanted me to be safe. But I can’t just let this go. The thought of those bastards being merry kills me inside when Zico is dead in his cold, dark grave.* “Jungah, please…” Jaehyo begged. Jungah opened her eyes and shouted, “ZICO IS DEAD!”
His face fell.
“MY STEPBROTHER IS ING GONE! I NEVER GOT TO THANK HIM! I NEVER GOT TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM! I NEVER GOT TO APOLOGIZE! HE DIED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME IN MY ARMS! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GO ON AFTER I LOST SOMEONE SO IMPORTANT?!’
Jungah shoved past him. Jaehyo grasped her wrist. Both froze.
“How do you expect me to go on after I lose you?” Jaehyo whispered.
*What the hell is he talking about? What does it matter if he loses me or not? We were never the closest of friends.* Jungah thought.
“I won’t lose you, Jungah.” Jaehyo’s voice rose, “I WILL NOT LET YOU DOOM YOURSELF THAT WAY!” He yanked on her wrist and threw her into the wall. Jaehyo braced his hands against the wall and stared at her with crazed eyes full of rage and fury. Jungah gave him a piercing glare that harbored grudge against the man that would stop her from taking vengeance. “Zico was everything to me. He was my first love, he was my best friend, he was my brother-“
“I’M YOUR ING BROTHER, NOT HIM!” Jaehyo yelled.
Jungah gave him a bewildered look, “What the hell are you saying? I know you and the rest of Block B thought of me as a dongsaeng, but-“
“I’m not just thinking! It’s the truth!” Jaehyo hissed. “You are my little sister, and I’m your older brother. Biologically.”
Jungah stared at him. Her face turned ashen. This new information was too overwhelming to take in. Ahn Jaehyo? Her brother related to her by blood? “If you’re making this up, I swear, Ahn Jaehyo-“
“My birth name is Han Jaehyo, and no, I’m not lying.” Jaehyo tersely glared at her.
*Han? That’s my last name…* Jungah slid down the wall and stared staright ahead in disbelief. “How can this happen?” She whispered.
“I didn’t know I even had a sister, either.” Jaehyo whispered. “Until the day I saw your mom…our mom…the didn’t even remember me after she left me in the orphanage herself.” Jungah snapped out of her daze and stared up at him, “Orpahange?” “Before you, our parents had me. Neither wanted to take responsibility of me. I was only three, but I remember clearly the day when mom left me in front of the orphanage and walked away. She didn’t say anything, and she didn’t come back. I guess that same year, they had you, but they decided to keep you though.” Jaehyo slumped against the arm of the sofa and stared straight ahead, “It was a coincidence. Or maybe it was fate. Ten years later, I was adopted by a couple. We moved near your neighborhood. I wasn’t emotionally stable back then. I was always angry. I was always depressed. I refused to make friends. I refused to talk to anyone. That is…until I met Zico.”
Jaehyo turned his head and softly gazed at Jungah. “After I opened up to him, he introduced me to you…he called you his sister…but something in my heart,” He placed a hand over his chest, “Told me that there was something special about you, and it actually hurt to hear him call you that. When I went to your house one day, I bumped into our mom.” His fingers clenched together tightly in antipathy, “Even though I was standing right in front of her, she didn’t remember me. She brushed me off like I was nothing. But I remember her clearly. I remember the detached expression on her face when she left me in that ing hell hole to survive alone.”
Jaehyo turned to Jungah once again, “That’s when I found out you were my sister. Every time my friends would point out how similar we would look, I would clam up. I was in denial. The truth was, I hated you. I wasn’t just cold to you without a reason. I…envied you. I was bitter that our parents chose to keep you, but not me. They threw me away like yesterday’s trash, but they kept you with them even though they were experiencing difficulties. Then I was pissed that Zico had to take care of you like that. You received everyone’s love and attention, but I was always in the dark. Thinking of it now…I was immature. You didn’t know. It wasn’t your fault that people chose to love you. Yet, I harbored a foolish grudge towards you because there was no one else I could blame my unhappiness for.”
Jungah shook her head in disbelief. She placed her hands over her head and curled up into a ball as tears streamed down her cheeks. This was all too much to take in. How many more secrets were in store for her?
First, Kris was a drug dealer.
Second, Zico had been in love with her this entire time.
And now third, Jaehyo was her real brother.
How many more of these hidden truths could she handle?
Slowly, Jaehyo got on his knee in front of her. “Jungah.” He whispered. She lowered her hands and stared at him. Her small frame seemed so vulnerable. It pained Jaehyo to see his sister that way.
“I’m begging you. Don’t get revenge. Revenge calls for another revenge. If you go after them, and you end up dying…I’m going to have to go after them myself.” He began to choke up, “I already lost too many people. I lost my father. I lost my mother. I lost my adopted parents. I lost the one person that helped me open up to everyone. I don’t want to lose my one and only sister either. You’re all I have left in this world.” Jaehyo was on his knees, begging, pleading, and crying, “Please don’t do this. Let’s stop here while we can, okay? I can’t bear to lose you, either.”
Jungah burst into a miserable sob. Jaehyo cried louder.
Together, the Han siblings shed tears at their losses.
They were in a messy situation, and it didn’t seem as if things would be resolved anytime soon.