Kris just arrived at home after a long meeting with another gang. He loosened up his tie and walked over to the refrigerator with a heavy sigh. Kris opened up the refrigerator and bent down to scrutinize the fridge. He glanced between the beer and cola.
Finally, Kris snatched the beer and shut the refrigerator. Kris opened the beer and took a long, thirsty gulp. He sank onto his black leather armchair and sighed in exhaustion. His head was panging in pain. A migraine threatened to erupt.
Kris smoothed his face and placed one hand over the left side over his face. His eyes were closed in deep thought. He still hadn’t thought of a way to get out of the mess with Zico and Jungah.
The more he thought about it, the more complicated it became.
Eventually, someone was going to get hurt. He was afraid it would be Jungah.
*God damn it. I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t…I won’t…*
Ding Dong. Ding Dong. Ding Dong.
His eyes blinked open, and he turned his attention to the door. *What the hell?* Who was desperately ringing his doorbell at this hour? The person on the other side began to pound on the door.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Kick.
Slowly, Kris rose to his feet. Curiously, he walked towards the door.
“Lay? Luhan? Is that you?” Kris the monitor. Standing outside the door was not his friends but his girlfriend. His eyes rounded in surprise, “Jungah…” Immediately, he unlocked the door and threw it open. He blinked at the poker-faced girl in front of him. “Jungah. Did you call me? I didn’t know you were coming.” Kris took out his phone.
Wordlessly, Jungah slipped past him into his home.
Kris watched her cold back in puzzlement. She hadn’t even greeted him. She hadn’t even met his eyes. *Is something wrong?* Kris glanced around then shut the door behind him.
Jungah stepped into the living room. Her sharp eyes scanned the room. They narrowed at the still-full beer can on his coffee table.
Kris came into the room. “Why the unexpected visit? Not that I mind of course.” He followed her gaze to the beer then asked, “Did you want something to drink? I can-“
Swiftly, Jungah spun around with her arms crossed. Her dark, acerbic eyes penetrated him, and a chill ran down his spine. The way she looked at him made him feel uneasy. *I don’t even know if I know you anymore.*
“What’s wrong, Jungah? Why are you staring at me like that?” Kris tried to laugh it off.
“Can I see your ID?” The unforeseen question made his face ashen. The smile evaporated from his face immediately, and his heart stopped beating. “M-my ID?” He whispered, stunned.
“Everyone has an ID, right? Even in China?” Jungah held out one palm with narrowed, mocking eyes, “So show me.”
Kris swallowed the rising lump in his throat. Finally, he took out his wallet. *I’m glad I kept this.* Kris pulled out the card and handed it to her.
Jungah checked it and quickly flung it aside. “Not your high school ID. Your real ID. The one that tells you your birth date.” Jungah demanded.
Kris was silent. “I’ll even show you mine.” Jungah whipped out her ID with her picture on it. “Han Jungah. : Female. D.O.B.: 04/15/1993.” She slipped it back into her pocket with her gaze never leaving him. “Now…it’s your turn.”
Kris shifted his gaze up to her. “Jungah, babe, please-“
“SHOW ME YOUR GODDAMN ID!” Jungah yelled.
Kris lowered his gaze in numbness. He couldn’t. If he did, his cover was blown. *This was not how I wanted you to find out.*
Jungah couldn’t’ take it anymore. She strode towards him and yanked his wallet away from him. Her shaking fingers searched the slits for his ID. She pulled out credit card after credit card. Her picture fell out also along with different currency. Finally, his ID dropped out. Jungah snatched it off the floor. She couldn’t read the words in Chinese, but she recognized the birth date.
Her eyes widened. Her heart dropped like a rock, and it felt like her entire world was falling apart. *He lied to me. He’s not a high school student. He’s ing 21, going onto 22. Like Zico. He’s a repulsive drug dealer. Just like Zico.
“Jungah.” Kris pleaded, “I-I can explain…”
Jungah flipped the ID towards him with a malicious smirk. Yet, her eyes were filled with hurtful tears. “No need. This explains everything.” Her smirk disappeared, and she snarled in rage, “ing liar.” Jungah threw the ID onto the floor and stormed towards the door.
*No. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.* Kris darted after her. He grabbed her arm, “Jungah, please-“
“Don’t touch me!” Her hiss burned a wound in his heart. Jungah gave him a scathing look and headed towards the door.
Kris didn’t give up. He came this far. He couldn’t lose her now. Even if he lost everything, he couldn’t bear to lose her.
Kris grabbed her wrist and spun her around, “Han Jungah-“
“I SAID LET GO-“ Jungah was yelling one second, then at the next second, she was pinned against the wall. “WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?!” Kris yelled in her face. “DON’T RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME! YOU DON’T DESERVE TO YELL AT ME, YOU BASTARD, WHEN YOU’RE THE ONE THAT LIED TO ME!” Jungah screamed back. She struggled to leave, but he kept her shoulders against the wall.
“Listen to me! I need you to listen, damn it!” Kris snarled. Jungah flashed her cutting eyes at him but kept shut. “I never intended to lie to you.” Kris shook his head.
“Too late for that!” Jungah snapped. “Ever since you walked into that door of my classroom, you lied to me. You hid your true identity from me!”
“I couldn’t tell anyone who I really was!” Kris hissed back, “I wasn’t going to go up to a complete stranger, and tell her that I was a 21-year-old drug dealer!”
“Then you shouldn’t have gotten involved with me. You should have kept your distance, done your business, and gone back to China.” Jungah sneered. She turned to go, but he shot an arm out and planted his palm on the wall. “I tried, Jungah. Believe me. I ing tried. But I couldn’t stay away from you.”
“I wonder why that was. Maybe it wasn’t because you couldn’t. Maybe it was because you wouldn’t.” She snapped with her voice dripping with sarcasm. His eyes narrowed in confusion, “What are you talking about?”
Jungah stared at him with hard, pained eyes, “You knew from the beginning, didn’t you?”
“What beginning? What the hell are you trying to say?!” Kris shouted in frustration.
“You knew I was close to Zico.” Jungah dropped her voice to an aching whisper. His eyes rounded at the accusation. She raised her gaze back to him, “You knew about Zico all along, didn’t you? That’s why you approached me in the first place. No one else put in so much effort to win my heart but you. Is that why you tried so hard for me? So that you could finish your task and kill my first love?” Jungah gulped as she shook her head, “I can’t believe I trusted you. I defended you in front of the my friends, the very people you are trying to kill. I chose you…over Zico, the only man I’ve ever loved before you. But you deceive me this way?”
Kris stared at her in disbelief. He couldn’t believe she was accusing him of something so incredulous. Did she have that little faith in him? Tears sprang out of her eyes, and she jabbed her finger angrily at his chest, “Well, I have news for you, . I won’t let you touch Zico. Ever. Before you, it was him. If you or any of your asinine friends decide to hurt him, I won’t forgive any of you.” Jungah shoved his arm and headed to the door.
Kris grabbed her arm before she could leave. “Are you actually accusing me of…using you?”
Jungah didn’t reply, since that was exactly what she was blaming him for. His eyes whipped towards her. “ANSWER ME!” She looked away. Her silence exacerbated the situation. He was hurt she thought so low of him. Kris abrasively grasped her arms and shoved her into the wall. “I. DID. NOT. USE. YOU.” He vowed through gritted his teeth. His eyes were vehement, solemn, and full of despair.
Jungah looked right into his eyes with an inscrutable expression. “You still lied to me.” He had no excuse for that one. “You’re not in high school. You’re 21. You’re not a student. You’re a ing drug dealer. You probably don’t even have parents. They’re not the ones that gave you this place and your flamboyant car!” Jungah shoved him into the opposite wall with belligerent eyes, “What else have you lied to me about? Your name? Your love for me? Is anything else about you real?”
Kris grew infuriated by her allegations. He grasped the tops of her arms and restrained her against the wall. “How can you ask me such foolish questions?! How can you not trust me?!”
“IT’S BECAUSE ALL THIS TIME YOU’VE BEEN LYING TO ME!” Jungah exploded. She shoved his arms off of her and gave him an embittered glare. “How the am I supposed to trust you when everything you’ve told me you were has been a lie?” He opened his mouth to defend himself, but she didn’t give him a chance to. “Did you have fun? Seeing how easily fooled I was by you? How does it feel to deceive the girl you claimed to love? Are you happy? Are you satisfied? You made me into a gullible idiot. I honestly thought you loved me.” She whispered the last line with a tear trailing down her cheek.
“I do love you.” Kris desperately claimed.
Jungah shook her head. “I thought I knew you. I thought your actions were sincere. I thought everything you did for me was for me, and not to find Zico. Now I put him in danger, too…” Kris slammed his fist next to her face. She didn’t even flinch. She was too numb in her own pain and incredulity. “I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HE WAS A DRUG DEALER, GOD DAMN IT! I FOUND OUT TWO WEEKS AGO!”
Jungah stared at him in disbelief, “And you didn’t tell me?” His face fell. *.*
“You knew for that long, and you didn’t bother to let me know any of this?” She balked at him. Kris avoided her eyes. Jungah furrowed her eyebrows. Her jaw remained set as rage poured forth from her. Jungah shoved him hard, “YOU PHONY BASTARD! HOW CAN YOU NOT TELL ME SOMETHING SO IMPORTANT?! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD KEEP THIS FROM ME! IF ZICO GETS HURT BECAUSE OF ALL THIS, I WON’T FORGIVE YOU-“ She raised her fist to punch him.
“You kept something from me, too.” Kris whispered.
Jungah froze. She stared at him in confusion. *I never kept anything from him.*
His sharp eyes bore into her. “I asked you what kind of business Zico ran.” Her entire body became rigid. *.*
Kris knew he had her tongue-tied. He straightened up and towered over her. “You told me you didn’t know. But you knew all along, didn’t you? You knew about what he did, and yet, you didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth.” Jungah was stunned into silence for a few seconds. Then she shook her head and shot back, “I couldn’t tell you because of the circumstances! How the hell am I supposed to tell you that Zico was an illegal drug dealer?! I couldn’t betray him!”
“Haven’t you considered that that might be my exact position also? I couldn’t tell you. My gang is counting on me. I’m their leader. I couldn’t endanger them, too. Besides, I knew you would react like this. My greatest fear is losing you, Han Jungah. I was scared you would just drop me if you knew I was your enemy.” Kris explained, hoping to knock some sense into her.
Jungah was silent as her fist fell limply by her side. She didn’t know what to say since she knew he was right. Yet, she couldn’t help but hold a grudge against him.
Kris grasped her wrist and pulled her close to him. “I never planned for you to become such an important person to me.” He whispered as he touched her face. “If I knew this would have happened, I would have told you from the beginning. But my goal for coming here wasn’t to fall in love. It was for business. Who knew we were all tangled in such a deep mess? I didn’t. Please believe me, Jungah. I didn’t use you. I would never betray you.” Kris placed his hands on her shoulders and softly gazed down at her, “Remember when I told you that you were the first girl that I asked out? That you were the first girl that I’ve ever felt this way for? Those were all words from deep inside my heart. I meant every single ‘I love you’ that I said to you. And you told me you believed me. Where did all your trust for me go, baby?”
*It vanished when I heard you were going to kill Zico.* Jungah slowly drifted her gaze up to his face. “What happens to Zico now?”
Kris stared at her as his hands stiffened on her shoulders. *I spilled my heart out to her and all she is worrying about is that bastard?*
“Are you going to kill him?” She asked with a straight face.
Kris studied her intense eyes filled with worry. Not for him, but for Zico.
“I heard that Cho is the one copying your drugs or whatever. But Zico isn’t behind this. It’s not his choice. All he does is deliever and receive the money. He doesn’t make the drugs. He doesn’t steal. He doesn’t murder, as far as I know. Zico is a good guy in a bad situation.” Jungah grabbed his jacket and stared up at him, “You can stop all this, can’t you? Tell your boss or whatever to leave Zico and his friends out of this mess. They didn’t do anything. Don’t hurt Zico-“
Kris had enough of her worries for another man. He was tired of being patient and lenient. Kris crashed her into the wall and pinned her there. Jungah stiffened at the burst of action. She stared up at him in shock. “Zico, Zico, ZICO! IS THAT ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT?! DON’T YOU SEE ME?! DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME ONCE I COVER FOR HIM?! WHY CAN’T YOU EVER SEE ME?! WHAT IS IT ABOUT HIM THAT YOU CAN’T LET GO?! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU BEFORE YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL?! IF YOU DIDN’T LOVE ME, WHY DID YOU ACCEPT ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?! WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST STAY NEXT TO YOUR PRECIOUS ZICO?! YOU WERE THE ONE USING ME, AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND! WHY DON’T YOU JUST ADMIT YOU HAD NO FEELINGS FOR ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?!” Kris snarled bitterly in her face.
“ YOU!” Jungah began to pound his chest with her fists in frustration, “DON’T YOU DARE ACCUSE ME OF NOT BEING IN LOVE WITH YOU! I SIDED WITH YOU AGAINST MY FRIENDS! I EVEN CANCELED MY PLANS WITH ZICO JUST TO BE WITH YOU! I SPENT MY ENTIRE TIME AND FEELINGS FOR YOU SO DON’T YOU ING ACCUSE ME OF USING YOU, YOU HEARTLESS JERK! THE ONLY REASON I’M DEFENDING ZICO NOW IS NOT BECAUSE I STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM, BUT BECAUSE I CARE FOR HIM! HE’S STILL MY FRIEND, AND BEFORE HE WAS MY FRIEND, HE WAS MY STEPBROTHER! I WON’T JUST DROP HIM BECAUSE I HAVE SOMEONE ELSE IN MY HEART NOW, YOU SELFISH BASTARD!” Hot tears sprang out of her eyes as she continued to slap him, “I hate you. I hate you for thinking that Zico is more important to me than you.”
Kris grasped her wrists and held onto them tightly to prevent her from bruising his chest even more. “Am I really more important to you than Zico?”
Jungah shifted her tearful gaze up to him. Her eyes harbored resentment, confusion, anger, and love.
“Am I the one you are really in love with?” He asked in a low, husky growl.
“How else do you want me to say it?” Jungah sneered.
“I don’t want you to say it.” Kris shook his head as he pinned her with his intense stare, “I want you to prove it to me.” Her eyes cluttered with confusion. *What is he talking about?*
Kris stepped closer to her, and she stepped back in reflex. His cold hand slipped behind her neck, and she shivered. “Prove it. Prove to me that I’m the one you love.” Kris whispered against her lips.
Jungah still didn’t understand. “I don’t know what you’re saying-“
All of a sudden, Kris grabbed her face and kissed her hard. Her eyes widened in shock then narrowed in fury. *He thinks he can kiss me at a time like this?!* Jungah tried to hit him, but he grabbed her wrists and held them down by her sides. She grew even more livid as his tongue slipped into and messily explored inside. Jungah shut her eyes and bit onto his tongue. Yet, he didn’t withdraw his tongue from . Her eyes flew open again, and she glared at him with spite. Jungah wrestled her arms from his grip. She raised her leg to kick him in between, but with breakneck speed, he grabbed her swinging leg and hoisted her up so that her legs had no choice but to wrap around his slender waist. Jungah finally shoved his shoulders and pulled away as she gasped for air.
“ING JERK!” She cursed.
Kris crushed her against the wall and pressed one of his palms against the wall for support while his other arm was s around her waist. His lips were just centimeters from her, and she could feel his ragged breath on her swollen lips. “What the hell am I supposed to do to get you to believe me?” Kris whispered.
Jungah heard the suffering in his voice, and for a nanosecond, her expression softened.
He drifted his gaze upwards and locked eyes with her. “I love you. More than anything in this world, you are important to me. The only reason why I haven’t given orders to kill Cho, Zico, and Block B yet is because I know how much they mean to you. I’m sorry for lying to you. I really am. If I could turn back time, I would reveal everything to you. But there’s nothing we can do when the clock is against us. Can’t we just move forward? Can’t you just accept the fact that I am both Kris, your boyfriend, and Wu Fan, the leader of Exo-M?”
Jungah searched his face. *How can we move forward when someone’s life is at stake?* What happens to Zico?” She whispered delicately. He leaned in and let his lips slide against hers. She hated how her body reacted to his touch at such a serious moment.
“Don’t say his name right now. For once, think only about me. You said I was the one you loved. Prove it to me. Prove to me that I’m the only man in your life.” Kris mumbled against her lips.
Jungah pushed him away, but lighter than before. “You need to answer my question first.” She seeked his face for an answer.
Kris gazed into her eyes with an unreadable expression. The truth was, he didn’t know himself. He had no idea what he had to do. Protecting Jungah was his priority. But that meant killing the gang that copied the drugs, which would devastate Jungah, since her friends were involved. *I don’t know. I have no answer yet, Jungah. I’m sorry.*
Instead of telling her that, he just kissed her. Jungah didn’t respond at first. She wanted to hit him, scream at him, and leave the place. Yet, a growing part of her wanted to stay and be as close to this man as she possibly could. Her conscience was growing hazy with desire. She made a last attempt to free from his seduction.
Jungah pushed against his chest and squirmed so that he would drop her.
Yet, Kris just pressed closer against her and kissed her until her mind drew a blank.
*I can’t do this. There are so many things left unanswered. What about Zico? What about Zico? What…about…* Jungah gave up as he encircled her arms around his neck. She pulled back and opened her eyes. They stared intensely at each for a few heartstopping seconds.
No words were spoken.
They would just make things more complicated.
Right now, both were too overwhelmed to deal with anything else.
Just by the way her eyes dropped towards the ground, he could tell she had surrendered. Kris lowered his head and pressed his lips lightly against hers. Jungah stayed still for a few seconds before finally enveloping her arms tightly around his neck and tugging him closer. The kiss became more aggressive as their tongues battled for dominance. The way their bodies were pressed together created friction and heat to the point where neither could take it anymore.
Kris held tightly onto her as he walked backwards somewhere. Still kissing her, he grazed the wall for something. He finally found what he was searching for and twisted it open. His bedroom door opened, and he stepped back into the dark room. Kris grabbed the doorknob on the other side and slammed the door shut.
Jungah loosened her legs from his waist and dropped her feet back onto the floor. With her back against the door, she raised her head to look at him again. Again, they stared at each other without exchanging words.
Jungah stared at Kris, wanting to know what was on his mind but wasn’t able to figure it out.
Kris also wanted to know what was going on through her mind. He could feel the perplexity pulsating from her heart. He wanted to tell her that everything was okay, that he was going to take care of everything, and that he would be there for her no matter what. Instead of telling her with words, he showed her with action.
Kris picked up her waist. This time, Jungah willingly wrapped her legs around his waist.
They kissed fervently as they landed on his spacious king-sized bed.
Kris broke the kiss and hovered over her. The back of his fingers gently grazed her cheek. “My Han Jungah…”
Her eyes roamed over his sharp facial features. Despite such handsome, cold physical traits, his eyes were warm, gentle, and loving. *My Kris…my boyfriend, my last love, at least, I hope you would be.*
Kris kissed her once, twice, thrice. With every adoring peck, he murmured her name and showered her with declarations of love. Her body heated up as her head spun like a compass. Kris moved down and kissed her neck. She shivered and arched her back impulsively. He trailed kisses up her exposed throat and cradled the back of her neck as if she was a delicate newborn baby.
Kris grazed his lips up her jaw and whispered in her ear with sweet tenderness, “Jungah… wo de bao bei. Wo ai ni.”
Her heart was at the verge of exploding at such beautiful words. She didn’t know what the first part meant, but she knew the second phrase and returned the exact same feelings.
Kris pulled back and gazed into her eyes for a long minute.
Then Jungah slipped her arms around his neck and pulled him back down to meet her lips.
There were still many questions that remained unanswered. She knew she might regret this in the morning, but she would face the consequences in the morning. All she knew was that she had never experienced such a fire blazing in her chest.
Only Kris could keep the adrenaline rushing through her veins, and she didn’t want that to stop at that moment.